🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Asian tech support]

If Ralph suicided, would the only indication be that he disappears from the Internet? I suppose Harry and Vickers would wonder where the child support payments are and Vickers would have to open his big dumb mouth. If he didn't have to shuck n jive on cozy dot gov for his supper, I think it'd be a good prank to disappear completely for a few months.

 

[Bland Crumbs]

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"people i hate make money off my labeor "

Ralph does not have the balls to kill himself. He would definitely OD or slowly kill himself with xanax and booze but kill himself? Never.

I guess the horse told him she was never coming back no matter what?

 

[zimzam88]

Ralph does not have the balls to kill himself. He would definitely OD or slowly kill himself with xanax and booze but kill himself? Never.

I guess the horse told him she was never coming back no matter what?

Could just be a basic bitch cry for attention, even the alawgs in the sektor have been losing interest and ignoring him lately.

 

[Um...]

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"people i hate make money off my labeor "

“My labor,” lol. Sitting on his ass in front of a computer screen 8 hours/day, mostly just staring blankly as the clips scroll by is “labor”? This fool has never done a single second of ‘labor’ his entire miserable life.

 

[Telemeter]

Could just be a basic bitch cry for attention, even the alawgs in the sektor have been losing interest and ignoring him lately.

It's suicide baiting, he does it regularly, like an emo girl trying to get attention from her daddy.

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

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"people i hate make money off my labeor "

"Want in one hand and shit in the other. See what happens first." - Ronnie Ralph.

WTF does that even mean?! That R.Ralph would say that and turned out to have schizophrenia does not shock me.

 

[TwoDollarPeePeePooPoo]

Please don't kill yourself Ralph. The gasses released from your body decomposing would burn a gunt-sized hole in the atmosphere.

 

[Your Favorite New Friend]

If Ralph suicided, would the only indication be that he disappears from the Internet? I suppose Harry and Vickers would wonder where the child support payments are and Vickers would have to open his big dumb mouth. If he didn't have to shuck n jive on cozy dot gov for his supper, I think it'd be a good prank to disappear completely for a few months.

He's still married, so the US embassy would probably make an attempt to contact his horse so she could dispose of his stinky, bloated corpse.

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

Unlike others I do think Ralph has stayed relatively sober the last few weeks and months, with maybe the exception of a couple of Xannies here and there to keep him straightened out.
The reason is Ralph is the kinda guy who can have a beer, and then thinks "hey, another can't hurt" and suddenly he's 8 deep and falling about the place. Not only on a given night, this continues until his life explodes and he decides to go cold turkey yet again.
With that said, now that he's a few months into sobriety, bored, has been unable to repair all of the relationships he destroyed, I am willing to bet the booze is looking mighty tasty these days. I expect we go back to pillstreams come the end of the year. Not quite yet though.

 

[Vanquished Phoenix]

holy shit it's a living tinyface meme (apparently know as the "woll smoth":

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He got bitten by a radioactive Dax Herrera during a Juju milking accident, that's why his face is tiny.

 

[Schpoots]

It must be a unique kind of hell to realize that almost literally every problem you face could have been avoided if you listened to the alogs.

 

[Lidl Drip]

Cheer up, Ralph. You know what they say: third time's the charm! Third marriage and third baby momma will surely work out. You are literally Henry VIII, a truly legendary pimp and you have women lined up around the block to jump on the Merida micro like Elaine (Trollcow on twitter) who has been trying to slide in those Ralphamale DMs for weeks!

 

[HackerX]

"9 years in the game. It's been real"

I sometimes wonder how much he realizes. He started off in a braindead tutorial that ensured he wouldn't die. He never left that tutorial, but it left him eons ago.

Ralph is fundamentally worse off now than were he started. All because he refused to leave the starting zone.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

I sometimes wonder how much he realizes. He started off in a braindead tutorial that ensured he wouldn't die. He never left that tutorial, but it left him eons ago.

Ralph is fundamentally worse off now than were he started. All because he refused to leave the starting zone.

To be fair, Ralph did start the game as a journalist(lol) so he needed a story mode.

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

I sometimes wonder how much he realizes. He started off in a braindead tutorial that ensured he wouldn't die. He never left that tutorial, but it left him eons ago.

Ralph is fundamentally worse off now than were he started. All because he refused to leave the starting zone.

I don't know about this, even his current situation is better than being a NEET living off of his disabled mothers social security and calling his online trolling efforts "journalism".

 

[TV's Adam West]

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"people i hate make money off my labeor "

Five star days?

 

[HackerX]

I don't know about this, even his current situation is better than being a NEET living off of his disabled mothers social security and calling his online trolling efforts "journalism".

Is it? Now he's responsible for all the things he wasn't responsible for and his 'quality of life' took a major nosedive. Hell, everything got exponentially worse as soon as he did, though it could just be another Jenga block in the grand scheme of things. It's not like he was on an upward trajectory prior.

It's why Ralph thrived in prison. He wasn't responsible for shit besides right place, right time, right uniform. He had minimal input and/or decisions making and he came out of it in the best shape of his life. Mentally and Physically.

 

[Muppetstudios]

Link

Just remember he has kids

 

[Um...]

holy shit it's a living tinyface meme (apparently know as the "woll smoth":

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That’s one of the most offensive things about him (just one of many) to me. He has tiny little features, tiny mouth, tiny nose, tiny squinty little eyes, all squished close together in the middle of his oversized melon face. He’s an unnatural freak in every way.

 

[Telemeter]

Unlike others I do think Ralph has stayed relatively sober the last few weeks and months, with maybe the exception of a couple of Xannies here and there to keep him straightened out.

He hasn't, he physically can't, it would literally kill him, he stopped mixing the xanies with alcohol and reduced his dosage to only 1 or 2 bars above the recommended maximum instead of popping them every other hour.

He also is coping with the withdrawals with weed.

The reason is Ralph is the kinda guy who can have a beer, and then thinks "hey, another can't hurt" and suddenly he's 8 deep and falling about the place. Not only on a given night, this continues until his life explodes and he decides to go cold turkey yet again.

You literally can't go cold turkey on xanies.

With that said, now that he's a few months into sobriety, bored, has been unable to repair all of the relationships he destroyed, I am willing to bet the booze is looking mighty tasty these days. I expect we go back to pillstreams come the end of the year. Not quite yet though.

He still slurs occasionally and was visually noticeably out on the 4th of July stream while Warski and PPP were having more fun celebrating the american Independence Day than Ralph, who couldn't even bother to join an expat group like Null did (tons of them in Mexico).