Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Markorian]

Gluten allergies exist that wind up giving you gas and the runs if you eat it. I know a guy that has it. It's not pretty to be around him if he's eaten wheat. But he's also one of those that doesn't give a fuck.

They can kind of range between some extremes. They don't tend to get as severe as something like a shellfish or even a peanut allergy, but I have a family member that's closer to that than lactose intolerance. It's very unlikely to be severe enough to be fatal, but just walking past the bread aisle can make her throat start to close up. And then on the other hand, just as I've never seen a lactose intolerant person who didn't have an excuse for why they were about to demolish a bowl of ice cream or a slice of pizza, there are definitely that kind as well.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

 

[rubytintedchix]

There’s new items his Creator Spring Merch store. Here’s one example: https://cooking-with-jack-merch-store.creator-spring.com/listing/cwj-2023-designs?product=794



The clip art on the bottom is lifted. Note the copyright signature on the bottom.



$25 and it could be yours!

This is terrible awful, but at least it’s not toothbrush > pepperoni pizza slice awful.

 

[Aunt Carol]

it's a fucking cookbook

...Now that you point it out, there is a family resemblance:

 

[Comma]

There’s new items his Creator Spring Merch store. Here’s one example: https://cooking-with-jack-merch-store.creator-spring.com/listing/cwj-2023-designs?product=794

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The clip art on the bottom is lifted. Note the copyright signature on the bottom.

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$25 and it could be yours!

This is terrible awful, but at least it’s not toothbrush > pepperoni pizza slice awful.

GET YOU LAWSUIT!

 

[Burd Turglar]

Why is he happy about either of those things?

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Archive of the latest cooking with fatty for you people. Upload size at 360p is about 38mb, so it's not appropriate for our friends on TOR

JFC he sounds like the tard on tik tok but unlike Jack, he's a phenomenal cook....for a downsie.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Jack is a stroked out Boomer and that blog post was mostly incoherent, but I don't think it's too out there to say that you don't trust mainstream news. There's a reason some things get cycled out of the headlines maybe too quickly or why some things are reported on, or why some things never make headlines at all. The news can definitely be manipulated to let the audience come to certain conclusions is all I'm saying.

He just goes full retard saying that he trusts TikTok and Twitter more.

I guess just like his cooking, his thought process starts off making sense but then goes off the rails in inexplicable and profoundly retarded ways.

E.g. church chili. This was essentially a Lazy Man's Chili, not particularly good but not particularly complicated, but he went off the rails by (1) adding the mummified brisket and (2) entering it into a competition.

 

[Gloria The Glorious]

I wish there as a lolcow cooking channel like Binging With Babish that tried to make something good out of awful meals online. We only get people recreating something that's already going to be awful. Reactions can be fun, but man I want someone to try to make a good party cheese salad instead of wasting another metric $25 (probably closer to $40 with inflation) of food on a doomed dish of jelly vomit.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

They can kind of range between some extremes. They don't tend to get as severe as something like a shellfish or even a peanut allergy, but I have a family member that's closer to that than lactose intolerance. It's very unlikely to be severe enough to be fatal, but just walking past the bread aisle can make her throat start to close up. And then on the other hand, just as I've never seen a lactose intolerant person who didn't have an excuse for why they were about to demolish a bowl of ice cream or a slice of pizza, there are definitely that kind as well.

There's always going to be variations of it. Most people who are lactose intolerant who will gladly chow down on pizza and ice cream tend to have milder symptoms or they're able to eat a small amount without gastric distress.

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"Instructural" videos. This coming from the guy who literally had a recipe for "Iced Coffee" being "cold coffee, cream & sweetener".

Nobody is that retarded.

 

[Mr. Zed da Robot Poon Fed]

JFC he sounds like the tard on tik tok but unlike Jack, he's a phenomenal cook....for a downsie.
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Yes, the guy with down syndrome can make better food and edit his videos better than Jack. That's telling.

 

[Electric Mortar & Pestle]

How is this dude not fucking dead yet? Perfectly fit healthy people drop dead at 50 and this dipshit is still shambling around.

 

[8mm Cunningham]

No fucking idea. We really need a strokebrain to English dictionary for this to make sense.

I speak a little bit of stroke. Here's my take on it; Jack is coping hard. He wants to feel like he lives in a very futuristic society and since things are so different from when he was a lil butter knob, he has lived a full life.

He knows he is going to die early and is trying to be okay with that.

 

[Gloria The Glorious]

How is this dude not fucking dead yet? Perfectly fit healthy people drop dead at 50 and this dipshit is still shambling around.

He may not be dead, but I struggle to say he's truly living either.

 

[anliteralidiot]

I wish there as a lolcow cooking channel like Binging With Babish that tried to make something good out of awful meals online. We only get people recreating something that's already going to be awful. Reactions can be fun, but man I want someone to try to make a good party cheese salad instead of wasting another metric $25 (probably closer to $40 with inflation) of food on a doomed dish of jelly vomit.

I would love to see someone make the party cheese salad tolerable... Like, what does it need? Could you remove the gelatin and use it like a casserole with some ground beef?

 

[Super Hans v2]

I would love to see someone make the party cheese salad tolerable... Like, what does it need? Could you remove the gelatin and use it like a casserole with some ground beef?

There's too many ingredients going towards sweet and savory each that making party cheese salad salvageable would have the end product be unrecognizable. Take out the shreddy cheese and veg, and what's left might be okay as-is as a fruit dip. Take out the cream cheese, cool whip, and fruit, and you just have mixed veg and shreddy cheese, mix in some meat and you got a meal.

 

[make_it_so]

How is this dude not fucking dead yet? Perfectly fit healthy people drop dead at 50 and this dipshit is still shambling around.

I almost want to call it the Lolcow Curse.

Plenty of people have dropped dead from a combination of obesity with alcohol and drug abuse, but Ethan Ralph keeps on chugging (booze and xannies). Plenty of people have wound up homeless, committed, or in prison for acting out like a tard in public and committing sex crimes, but Chris-chan still roams the streets of Virginia a free autist. Plenty of people who have been delinquent on their taxes and mortgage payments have been taken to the cleaners by the banks and courts and lost everything, but Dark Syde Phil gets to wipe his debts clean with Chapter 7 and continue his "career" of being bad at video games and spending all his money on sweaty animated wrestler jpegs.

In short, things that would utterly destroy normal, mortal men seem to only make Lolcows stronger, allowing them to continue their antics unabated. Jack could conceivably keep having strokes until he's reduced to a mumbling, immobile slop confined to a wheelchair, but he'll still somehow keep pumping out videos of disgusting recipes.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

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That last is one is pretty relatable to be fair. Motherfuckers out here taking 15 minutes to explain how to make aioli.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

I recreated Jack's classic onion goggles look in oil paints, could have made it a little better but that would have required looking at Jack's face longer.
Also: bonus preliminary sketch!

 

[MS Paint Gigachad]

I recreated Jack's classic onion goggles look in oil paints, could have made it a little better but that would have required looking at Jack's face longer.
Also: bonus preliminary sketch!
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damn, for a moment i thought this was engineer tf2 doing a soyface

 

[ZipDisk]

Why in the fuck does anyone think party cheese salad is a recoverable recipe?

It's a nasty premise on shit mountain.

Stop.