Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

Look, I get it.

You're hungry, you're an effeminate repressed homosexual, negros are constantly farting into your wife's vagina, and here's this big beefy Afro-American fella here standing in front of you in all his masculine glory presenting his succulent flanks.
Naturally with that many crossed wires you're going to get some conflicting feelings. Rick snapped like anyone would, I'm sure the officers understand.

I feel even more sympathetic for those men of the law because you can't see it on video, but I'm positive afterwards they had to use up a whole roll of paper towels to clean the foul mixture of slobber, pig grease, and girly rage-tears off of themselves. Thanks be that he's wearing pants this time or who knows what else they'd have on them.

Catboy Ranch Dressing said:
How long until he posts a picture of the pepperoni maker?
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He is the pepperoni maker. Or at least that's going to be what all the true crime documentaries call him after they eventually find the trap door to his secret basement.
 
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Okay so Pat started small with some puff pieces which seemed to get not much of any response from the wider world, nothing really positive or negative...then he begged to be on a podcast about lies people tell themselves assuming the host wouldn't try to get the whole story, and now he's willingly releasing footage of him unambiguously resisting arrest and probably swinging a fist at a cop to a somewhat supicious audience of around 5 million. :story:
Catboy Ranch Dressing said:
How long until he posts a picture of the pepperoni maker?
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I fully expect this given the trajectory of own-goals he's teeing up. At this point I wouldn't be shocked if he went out of his way and bought the pepperoni equipment as part of some harebrained asset hiding scheme: his ability to completely mis-judge what he should be doing seems to know no limit.
 
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Uberpenguin said:
He is the pepperoni maker. Or at least that's going to be what all the true crime documentaries call him after they eventually find the trap door to his secret basement.
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I was referring to the machine he keeps in his basement that he shoves the corpses of black children into. The machine that grinds the corpses into pepperoni which he then sells on Craigslist.
 
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AN/ALR56 said:
Guy went in 6 months from a obscure cow with a few dozen pages, dead for basically years, to punching cops and potentially losing lawsuits that are worth his house. :story:
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It is the ebb and flow of lolcow.
Sometimes a cow just goes off the radar and seems to have calmed down. The milk stopped flowing and they are about to become memoryholed.
And then out of nowhere the cow goes full turbo, like fatrick, and you are suddenly almost drowning in a torrent of milk.

This season of "what will pigman do next" is really top shelf. The writers really brought this show back from obsurity. Top kino.
 
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Blue Miaplacidus said:
In my retarded opinion it doesn't look like he's trying to punch a cop, it looks like he's flailing like a faggot trying to get his arm away from the cop who was about to handcuff him. The cop grabs his arm and starts to put it behind his back and he flails around like a girl trying to get away. Although it's funnier if he tried swinging on them, so I'm conflicted.
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Yeah to me it looks like he's flailing around like a fat fish out of water trying to keep his arms away from the cops. I don't think he was trying to hit them.
 
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Built like a fat hobbit

fatrick.PNG


Fights with a flailing, overhand swing like a drunk woman

fatrick2.PNG
 
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Meat Target said:
A Real Life Tough Guy who will spoonfeed you your teeth.
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After seeing that punch, I'm sure Pat can't do that to a 3-year old with severe gingivitis, who also happens to be the world's youngest scurvy survivor.

Meat Target said:
Stay fawkin' tuned. As Pig faces the cooking spit, he's gonna get more desperate. I predict this month will be a Festival of Fatrick.
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Come one man... don't do this to me. Do you have any idea how much it hurts to know there's a real possibility you're actually underselling next month's Piggathon?
General Emílio Médici said:
Pig on Pig violence
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Imagina fazer isso no Rio.
Edit:
I read The Ark before he became a lolcow and I quite enjoyed it.
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You know very well not even his editor read that shit. Probably the first time he was glad to be dyslexic.
Patposting is back in full swing everyone
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I hope not, because I can barely keep up with the regular swing... unless it is any similar to Pat's arm swing (in that case, I say bring it on).
 
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i came to post a dumb thought i had last night and instead i get surprised by fatrick posting a video of him hassling and getting cuffed by the police. lmfao. i will say, i think he didn't throw a punch. it was probably an automatic, instinctive jerk at getting touched. emotions are obviously high and he's a very aloof person who would make such movements given no forewarning. i haven't watched the Law & Crime video so i don't know how he's trying to pass it off, if as anything, though.

anyway here's my dumb thought from last night. i've played a few horror games on Steam so when i saw this game pop up on the store page as recommended, i couldn't help but think of patrick s. tomlinson.

nine missing black children.png


not to give the ona pests any ideas, but i immediately theorized a legally distinct horror game based on the facts and rumors around patrick s. tomlinson, the pepperoni killer who lost his mind and began preying on children after a nasty divorce and lawsuit. you'd spend the whole game trying to avoid getting minced while solving the mystery. i think i'd be pretty scared if a super fat, greasy killer stalked me through a double-hovel while wheezing "no, child" to the background ambience of an industrial grinder in the basement.
 
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Rosa D. Strohl said:
>getting yourself arrested to own le police.
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so it just occurred to me based on your post. pat in the video yells that there will be a million dollar lawsuit; there has also been speculation before in this thread that pat has been behind some, if not all, the swattings as part of a plan to sue the local police. so perhaps this really was an attempt to own le police and further build a case for a lawsuit. after all he has to get the money to pay quasi somewhere, right?

in all honesty i think this is a bit :optimistic:
 
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