[2024] Kiwi Farms Physical Newspaper - Possibly the dumbest idea I've ever had, 2023 edition

[Niall Meanwhile]

In case having the thing printed outside the US does not disqualify you from whatever it is you aim to do in North Dakota, I know a number of dirt cheap, trusted printers in some overseas shithole that have worked with me on a couple extremely limited run, niche publications in the past (and can even do some cool artsy fartsy shit, should you want to go that way). Whereas the nature of the zine-things I commissioned from them was not "problematic" at all, I can assure you they'd be pretty much impervious to the potential fallout of printing the Journal of Lolcow Studies. It's even possible international distribution could also be handled directly from there as well. I mean, can't possibly fuck up any worse than the 3PL from the coin run did.

 

[deputydogshit2.0]

Shit, I wish there was a cool paper like this back when I had Current Events in my Social Studies class.

 

[WINWORLDPEECEE]

Would love KF Print media.

 

[Forgetful Kiwi]

We need some comics like Dysfunctional Family Circus.

Spoiler

View attachment 5255652
View attachment 5255654
View attachment 5255655
View attachment 5255656

Too bad everything with Chris happend, would have a perfect comic strip otherwise.

 

[glad vlad]

Nobody needs my thoughts, but too bad, here they are:

Far from the press being dead, I've noticed the wrongest wrongthink you can imagine pivoting back to the small press. Zines, quarterlies, obscure publishing houses, it's where all of the truly weird shit is happening now I think.

I love the idea of a KWF quarterly and I hope you will solicit submissions like weird hand-drawn memes and short stories and one-act plays about the Tranch you can put on in your living room.

I am a coward with things to lose and I'm afraid, but I'm also angry that my natural rights are being eroded by retards and perverts. I have to imagine a lot of Farmers are in a similar situation, where they would pledge money, but they fear being unpersoned for shitposting. If there is a way to buy each copy and then have the addresses purged...? Maybe? I also have some relevant creative professional experience I would offer if things ever get that far.

Another question: I am not a lawyer. What if part of this zine was basically subtweeting about cows? "Pasture Rotation for Beginners: How to Avoid Total Camelid Death" etc. I guess you can sue for everything, but if you don't actually even mention the cow, does that do anything?

 

[WanderingFarmer]

I read this book a while back called The Revenge of Analogue. At the end the author listed a list of companies he referenced and one was a print on demand printer of newspaper/tabloid style publications. The link is here.
Probably more expensive in the long run, and they may have content guidelines. I've not looked into it but figure it might be an option as a gumroad tier if nothing else?

Edit: I didn't like opening the post with "Probably a stupid idea, but..."

 

[Aunt Carol]

...speaking of comics and feelies and USPS nostalgia, you know what fits easily in an envelope?

A Chick tract or two.

The lady who does Oglaf made some Sithrak tracts recently, but back-in-the-day there were tons of Discordian and Cthulhu and SubGenius parodies of Chick tracts.

It'd take art and more work to design, but tracts could also be reprinted for years after they were written, unlike a periodical--and be more carefully vetted for legal safety.

Jack T Chick died almost ten years ago, so he never got to draw a pooner. He would have, though.

 

[Saint Agustin]

@Null do it faggot, I support you

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

weird hand-drawn memes and short stories and one-act plays about the Tranch you can put on in your living room.

I love these ideas. I'm mentally working up cow-themed crossword puzzles for the back page already!

Looking forward to a "worst post of the month" (secret online poll with results only in the publication, or alternatively, Josh's Autocracy, or chosen by the prior month's winner)...

---
But @Null you need to get legal on point here to get the guardrails very clear. You already have a lot of experience already, of course, so you're pretty well positioned, but EIC/Publisher for print is different, as has been said. And if there will be editors or writing contributors, get very clear guidelines to them as well. Query whether a private subscription/"newsletter" vs a generally available one/mag has distinctions either in terms of ND's requirement for a business or in terms of what is wise/not wise to distribute.

Someone's suggestion of referring to cows by euphemism or funny references might be a good one, gossip rag style, that inserts a buffer, if needed, btw the pub and the cow. How that gets done depends on which direction you'd want to go for the publication, stylistically/tone-wise. "Satire" and "opinion" might be useful concepts.

 

[Cpt. Stud Beefpile]

Possibly the worst idea I (or rather someone at the KVAF) has ever had:

If you wanted to do a pilot run of a single page, B&W and double sided, a member of Blue Squadron is willing to drop a limited number of copies in places where there are still those stupid little stands for free local micro-newspapers, used car ads, "thrifty nickel" etc. The kind of papers that mostly get used for fireplace kindling or birdcage liner and exist solely for a declining readerbase of old farts who can't Internet or megapoors who can't get to a computer for job searches or bargain hunting.

 

[Dancing with coons]

I'm basically a lurker, but I would love an opportunity to buy a copy, even to just frame in my office and to support the Farms. I'm also concerned about the potential for data breaches though, as people are malicious and insane. But I really like this idea, especially the euphemisms that can be used. It's fun

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

I look forward to the erotica section, featuring Kevin Gibes' amhole and other hot pictures from the SRS thread.

 

[Crimson Fucker Ţepeş]

Well the title isn't completely wrong.

 

[Hitman One]

I would subscribe, monthly sounds about right. The cost of postage outside of the USA would be prohibitive but if there was a PDF version for dirty foreigners then that would be cool.

 

[Sperghetti]

Mad Off of The Internet

 

[SargonF00t]

After reading the OP, I immediately thought of a Kiwi Farms version of IM-1776, with it coming out every 2 or 3 months.

 

[Throwing Romans]

this would give me a good excuse to use with the wife for why more of my shekels are being spent on the internet instead of on the kids. I'm in!

 

[Bass_Ackdwars]

Offline & Mad About It
Mad At Reality
Fruitbird News

 

[GenociderSyo]

Could just simply call it "The Harvest" sounds generic enough that it won't red flag anything, but would have meaning to people who are on the site.

 

[Oxyjen]

We need some comics like Dysfunctional Family Circus.

You can get away with quite a lot in cartoon form,

Reminds of of the (UK) Viz comic, they used to mix in the odd bit of social commentary along with just really dumb absurd jokes.

Spoiler