- Joined
- Jan 1, 2021
Perhaps he was wondering if someone would shoot a man, before throwing him out of a spaceship
Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter
- Thread starter Caverlock
- Start date
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2021
Dan's from fawkin Bawston my dood. He'll break one of his 7 sinks over ya fookin head.
In all seriousness, the only people with the thick Boston accent (ala The Departed) are white trash faggots and boomers who claim they knew whitey Bulger. Normies aren't really over the top in my experience.
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2020
Only Blacky Bulger for Rick and Niki if you know what I mean.
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2021
Maybe I should change Bawston to LA Valley Girl.
Although Valley Girl is more fucking irritating than ugly.
Sumptinsfuckey
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2022
Bitch Please, the ugliest accent in America is Da Noo Yawk/Brookling tuff guy accent, that or Socal valley girl or inner city ebonics Even the trashiest southerner sounds like a Rhodes Scholar next to those three.
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2019
The irony is that Pat also has a court date where he could be facing jail time. He and Trump actually have a lot in common when you think about it. Hopefully someone has pointed this out to him before.
@DumbDude43 Patrick is literally fighting against online Nazi terrorists, stalker. You do not get to speak on this, child. Trump, like you, has committed many felonious crimes that law enforcement is investigating.
Enjoy prison.
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- Joined
- Sep 28, 2022
orange man will get jailed as a political prisoner for trying to stage a coup against the united states government
thats pretty hardcore
fatrick will get jailed for refusing to pay the costs of his own lawsuit
thats just pathetic
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2019
All wrong. Chicago has the ugliest, most grating accent
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2020
Twitter seems to have broken something for login-less apps again. Both Nitter and my android app Squawker won't let me load individual accounts, though my Squawker feed still works. We aren't missing much, it's just lots of smugposting.
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2022
There's like 10 words in the Chicago accent that differentiate it from standard non-regional American and no one in Chicago actually talks with it anymore. It barely even qualifies as a regional accent.
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2019
Da Bears would disagree. I've heard enough Chicaaaawwwwwgo accents to recognize it when it starts screeching
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2022
I literally go to Chicago almost once a month, if you ask people from there to do the accent they can't even do it.
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2021
As a non-Burger I'd like to weigh in and say Wisconsin (I'm assuming the whole state sounds like Surviving Edged Weapons) has the best accent and California (or wherever that accent where every sentence goes up at the end and sounds like a question? comes from) has the worst.
Also, speaking of weighing in, I'd like to say Patrick is fat.
Also, speaking of weighing in, I'd like to say Patrick is fat.
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2021
God, he is a fucking wingcuck to the bone. Just appeal to an authority without grabbing one to maybe point to. Nigga never learned that being combative to someone doubting you is not the way to go.
A pest will most likely challenge the source, but Pat does himself no favors.
I really do hope that Trump wins from prison or some shit. The oinking from Pat would be hilarious.
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2022
The Wisconsin accent is fucking retarded. I loved Kyle Rittenhouse's lawyer on everything he did for the guy but that fucking Milwaukee Wisconsin accent. It made him sound like Barney from The Simpsons.
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Sumptinsfuckey
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2022
Hoke-uss Poke-uss oot of Foh-cuss
Anasûrimbor Kellhus
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 9, 2022
its fine, just remember the only authority that should have any relevance to Fats here is Judge William Sosnay.
OtherLastTrainHome
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2023
The Ark, Chapter 8 waking up in a bed near you. probably your own bed. you better check under your mattress just in case Fatrick is hiding there.
this chapter is Speshul, i'll just say that. it manages to be another pointless waste of text and paper, doing absolutely nothing to advance the plot, our engagement/immersion in the setting or the narrative, yet somehow works as a big soapbox for Patrick to demonstrate just how diverse and inclusive he is with his casting. whether or not you go through it in detail, i thought having the Acknowledgments page posted would make up for how insipid this update is. i've placed it after the chapter readview & summary.
Chapter 1 | Tor Link | Page 2014
Chapter 2 & 3 | Tor Link | Page 2018
Chapter 4 | Tor Link | Page 2033
Chapter 5, 6, 7 | Tor Link | Page 2046
now, with that out of the way, here's the Acknowledgements page from The Ark.
let's look at it word by word, sentence by sentence. in the first paragraph, i appreciate that he's honest about his chronic alcoholism. the rest of it reads like a teenager's myspace page. the second paragraph mentions Niki, his girlfriend at the time, and he appears to attribute much of this schlock to her. if you ask me, that's a fucking insult. i guarantee you she's never read this, and she probably had to pretend she did.
what i'm interested in comes in the third paragraph. maybe some Pat Lore Specialists™ will know these people: Michael Todd Gallowglas and Bradley P Beaulieu. maybe they were present during the Lappening? they're probably extremely distant former friends considering how Patrick treats people in his expansive gravity well.
Russell Galen is identified as Patrick's agent at this time. i wonder for how long he was his agent? if he still is? here's a couple links to this guy. if there's any connection between him and SFWA that'd be an interesting reveal, but i don't have a LinkedIn account. from the first link, which appears to be the agency he belongs to, here's some words from him:
Patrick S. Tomlinson is fortunately unlisted by Mr. Galen. nevertheless, it's my opinion this man cannot be trusted with literature following his association with Fat Rick.
the most important part now: the mongoloids who published The Ark, an outfit known as 'Angry Robot'. they're still active and probably still signing all new Patrick S. Tomlinsons as we speak. what's interesting is that none of the people mentioned are still working with Angry Robot, and Marc Gascoigne is still listed as the CEO on google even though he sold the company in 2014, and in 2019 he started up another business called Aconyte Books. this is likely due to them all wanting to get as far away as possible from the all-consuming black hole colloquially known as Pork Squealer.
one Larry Rostant is mentioned for his "boundless enthusiasm" for the book and pitching the perfect cover art. you be the judge. i, for one, regard it as a boring, knock-off dustbin render (not even a real illustration) that conveys fucking nothing, which is the case with about 99% of book covers from my point of view. and Larry apparently provided cover art for GRRM's Song of Ice and Fire series, like The Rise of the Dragon, Fire and Blood, and A Dance with Dragons.
the cover art shown on Angry Robot's website is not the cover art that i have. the first image above is the original cover art, also shown in my e-reader. the second is what i found on the AR website. if i had to pick between these two, i'd choose the first, because at least there's a fucking attempt at hooking the audience on the front (which is actually a lie because we STILL haven't witnessed any killing, but nevermind) , and the second looks stretched and inorganic.
here's Patrick's page on their website, but be warned that you'll get a close-up shot of his gay ass twitter avatar. he seems to have done a number of interviews, which are linked there, but i don't know if i have the gunt capacity to listen to them.
the acknowledgements end with a disturbing implication that The Ark was written over the course of several years and if that's the case then traditional publishing should hurry up and die as soon as possible so that this mistake can never, ever be repeated again. i can't even begin to describe how bad that would be, if this was in the works for actual years and was released in the condition that i have been reading and relating.
lmao.
this chapter is Speshul, i'll just say that. it manages to be another pointless waste of text and paper, doing absolutely nothing to advance the plot, our engagement/immersion in the setting or the narrative, yet somehow works as a big soapbox for Patrick to demonstrate just how diverse and inclusive he is with his casting. whether or not you go through it in detail, i thought having the Acknowledgments page posted would make up for how insipid this update is. i've placed it after the chapter readview & summary.
Chapter 1 | Tor Link | Page 2014
Chapter 2 & 3 | Tor Link | Page 2018
Chapter 4 | Tor Link | Page 2033
Chapter 5, 6, 7 | Tor Link | Page 2046
==Characters Introduced in Order of Appearance; Character Status==
Bryan Benson,
A police(?) detective and our leading man, a gigasaurus who loves sports and evading responsibility, possibly taxation too.
Chao Feng,
The First Officer (of what?), and a douchedrinker according to Benson.
Lau,
The captain of Patrick's favorite Chinese sports team.
Edmond Laraby,
The missing geneticist whom the plot revolved around, found dead and dumped in space.
Avelina Pereira da Silva,
Science Director; Head of Environmental Research & Development. Got her full name in Chapter 3
Vasquez,
Not to be confused with Vasquez from Aliens; a player in Patrick's favorite sports game.
Lindqvist,
A sports player not even worthy of description by Patrick. Must be a PCJ caricature.
Theresa Alexopolous,
A lieutenant, and a Duty Officer (of what?), sidekick to the Chad Bryan Benson.
Vikram Bahadur,
Chief Constable of the Chinatown District, on par with Bryan Benson. Definitely not a Sikh.
Nibiru,
Not a character, but a black hole on the edge of a solar system. Probably the best character, though, if it's anything like Black Hole Sun.
Devorah Feynman,
Curator of the Museum, wants to preserve humanity's culture by locating and securing authentic works of art.
Constable Korolev,
Theresa sent him to back-up Benson; a rookie that's greener than grass.
Chef Takahashi,
Probably Japanese. Probably a chef.
Magistrate Boswell,
Probably king of the douchedrinkers.
Salvador 'Sal' Kite
Old guy with "war stories"; criminal scum who paid the court a fine and/or served his sentence for participating in a massive art heist.
Old Benny
Criminal scum who has violated the law.
Director Hekekia,
Engineering genius or something. Big Samoan guy who speaks better than Benson.
Dr. Jeanine Russell,
Medbay staffer on the Ark.
Captain Mahama,
Maybe the Captain of the Ark's crew. Strong old African woman.
--E1: Detective Bryan Benson comes to in the doctor's office, alive and intubated. Pulling the tube out sets off an alarm that brings Theresa running to scold him.
I would skip over this a lot more but there's something I've been wanting to say about Theresa herself for a while now. It's not intelligent or anything, it's just that I can't stand generic female deuteragonists who are in love with the male protagonist (or protags to other 'ags) because that's just how things are. Their relationship sucks and they both suck as people. It's so *boring* and unmotivating, uninspiring and uninteresting. I've already decried her lack of personality, but this kind of typecasting of female characters as easy lays is so unstimulating and so common in every medium it makes me want to change channels.
--E2: Alluded to in Benson's development, he had everything when he became a *Zero Finals* champion, specifically women. We're introduced to *Dr. Jeanine Russell*, a woman that our gigasaurus of a protag forgot to call after getting drunk post-match. Things get weird right away with Jeanine cutting right into the sexual tension with a blunt scalpel, commenting strongly on the protagonist's body. Patrick's projecting again.
--E3: Benson queries Jeanine about Laraby's autopsy: she says it will be her once his body thaws out in two to three days. The lusty Arkonian doctor also states that Laraby's death has been ruled a suicide after Benson urges her to check for all kinds of defensive wounds - the Ark's captain, yet to be introduced, made the declaration herself. Also, Laraby's arm snapped off in the crash that he caused because he felt the need to go out in the fucking pod to begin with, jeopardizing all of humanity in the process.
And of course, because Patrick loves a horny medic, she wants to see Benson's penis before he goes. Must be nice being this guy, living one of the oldest male fantasies of all time.
--E4: Benson is righteously admonished by Hekekia before Mahama can strike him up. Highlighted in red is Benson spouting off Patrick S. Tomlinson-tier bullshit about how if the pod was sent out under remote control, it would never have returned in the first place. Horseshit, man. Of the 90-minute recovery window, Benson wasted at least 30 minutes with his fucking stunt. If he had not insisted he go out in the pod, odds are astronomically high that none of this would have happened and they'd have enjoyed a smooth operation.
--E5: *Captain Mahama* is formally introduced, presumably the lady in charge of the Ark's Crew and everything going on here outside of the aforementioned Council whose full membership has yet to be established. Patrick shows us just how inclusive he is that an old Zimbabwean woman occupies the role of Captain on the Ark, which brings me to making a very tired but nevertheless important point: he's as much a true believer in Left-wing propaganda as Cenk Uygur is, and he can't help but champion this diversity crap everywhere he goes. I'm hazy on when "diversity", or the obnoxious installation and fronting of minority ethnicities in all kinds of media really took off, but this book was published in 2015, meaning writing could have been underway as early as 2014.
There is not a single white male in this story who occupies any meaningful position aside from Bryan Benson, whom is obviously Patrick's self-insert so of course he can't be low on the food chain. The only other white male character is Constable Korolev, a Russian bit character in Chapter 2 who may or may not appear again, and Laraby is dead so who the fuck cares - actually, if Laraby is technically white (his name makes it possible) then a white man died first among a richly diverse cast, which I'm sure Patrick must have thought was a great twist or subversion. And no, I'm not counting the old fart Salvador Kite, whose name (and nickname Sal) strongly implies Italian or Sicilian descent to me. And even if he is white, he's portrayed as a criminal who miserably laments about how his lineage will die out and he'll shovel shit and probably die when a tree falls on him on Tau Ceti G - I'm not being facetious.
Everyone with real authority, power and influence is either female, a minority, or both. True, it was obvious immediately from Chapter 1, with the ridiculous focus on *Zero Finals* and a Mexican and Chinese team being front and center, but there's a certain kind of hubris in Mahama tracing her roots back to Zimbabwe, a historically poverty-ridden shithole among shitholes. The hyper-specificity of this is very telling about Patrick himself. My guess is if this were a TV show (or worse, a video game), Mahama would be played by Debra Wilson, twisting the knife that much deeper between our collective ribs.
Honestly, I'm shocked we haven't seen an Indian yet. If we do, I guarantee you they'll be part of a Tech biz, likely a C-tier employee. Mark my words.
--E6: Benson goes on a walk with Mahama, pondering *Zero Finals* as usual and bringing the trees to our attention. Mahama starts things off with one of *those* kinds of queries (if there is a technical term, I don't know it), you start of a serious topic, reference something insignificant, and use it as a jumping pad for your super cereal discussion. Needless to say I don't really care about the trees or what they produce. I'm amazed Patrick didn't make a "joke" about pollen being tree cum.
I'll bite and say that I like this part and it deserves some recognition: humanity needs a sense of familiarity in the form of greenery, or something similar to orient them in the vast unknown. We also learn that the Nibiru Black Hole was genuinely absorbing the Sol System, or, I dunno, tearing through its Kuiper belt as she said. Either way, that's at least an answer to how in the Hell this magical black hole was ever relevant. Too bad I, as a reader, don't care one whit about it, because it's over 200 years past its relevancy.
Patrick loves his proper nouns, *the Flip* and *the Landing*, everything has to sound basic and forgettable. Beyond that, the final sentence of her dialogue highlighted red makes me say 'Kiss My Ass'. Why would anyone have bothered ordering Benson to do this if all they were going to do is fucking complain about it and get in the way of the investigation?
This is going to be one of the most retarded conspiracies of all time.
--E7: Mahama insists she doesn't want Laraby's death ruled as a suicide or the investigation buried. Her sincerity's not a concern, though, just this pointless meandering about whether or not Benson should have been punished, a pissing contest about jurisdictions... you can't get much more padded than this right here!
Captain Mahama informs Benson that she decided on leniency and cools the atmosphere with a heap of unearned ass-kissing and another *Zero Finals* reference. Benson remains suspicious of recent events, however: two of the Crew's VIPs have spoken to him, the chief constable of Avalon district, in person. That's gotta mean something, right? It's like Benson says, something smells funny, and it's not the fishy aroma of Theresa's crotch this time.
Bryan Benson,
A police(?) detective and our leading man, a gigasaurus who loves sports and evading responsibility, possibly taxation too.
Chao Feng,
The First Officer (of what?), and a douchedrinker according to Benson.
Lau,
The captain of Patrick's favorite Chinese sports team.
Edmond Laraby,
The missing geneticist whom the plot revolved around, found dead and dumped in space.
Avelina Pereira da Silva,
Science Director; Head of Environmental Research & Development. Got her full name in Chapter 3
Vasquez,
Not to be confused with Vasquez from Aliens; a player in Patrick's favorite sports game.
Lindqvist,
A sports player not even worthy of description by Patrick. Must be a PCJ caricature.
Theresa Alexopolous,
A lieutenant, and a Duty Officer (of what?), sidekick to the Chad Bryan Benson.
Vikram Bahadur,
Chief Constable of the Chinatown District, on par with Bryan Benson. Definitely not a Sikh.
Nibiru,
Not a character, but a black hole on the edge of a solar system. Probably the best character, though, if it's anything like Black Hole Sun.
Devorah Feynman,
Curator of the Museum, wants to preserve humanity's culture by locating and securing authentic works of art.
Constable Korolev,
Theresa sent him to back-up Benson; a rookie that's greener than grass.
Chef Takahashi,
Probably Japanese. Probably a chef.
Magistrate Boswell,
Probably king of the douchedrinkers.
Salvador 'Sal' Kite
Old guy with "war stories"; criminal scum who paid the court a fine and/or served his sentence for participating in a massive art heist.
Old Benny
Criminal scum who has violated the law.
Director Hekekia,
Engineering genius or something. Big Samoan guy who speaks better than Benson.
Dr. Jeanine Russell,
Medbay staffer on the Ark.
Captain Mahama,
Maybe the Captain of the Ark's crew. Strong old African woman.
--E1: Detective Bryan Benson comes to in the doctor's office, alive and intubated. Pulling the tube out sets off an alarm that brings Theresa running to scold him.
I would skip over this a lot more but there's something I've been wanting to say about Theresa herself for a while now. It's not intelligent or anything, it's just that I can't stand generic female deuteragonists who are in love with the male protagonist (or protags to other 'ags) because that's just how things are. Their relationship sucks and they both suck as people. It's so *boring* and unmotivating, uninspiring and uninteresting. I've already decried her lack of personality, but this kind of typecasting of female characters as easy lays is so unstimulating and so common in every medium it makes me want to change channels.
--E2: Alluded to in Benson's development, he had everything when he became a *Zero Finals* champion, specifically women. We're introduced to *Dr. Jeanine Russell*, a woman that our gigasaurus of a protag forgot to call after getting drunk post-match. Things get weird right away with Jeanine cutting right into the sexual tension with a blunt scalpel, commenting strongly on the protagonist's body. Patrick's projecting again.
--E3: Benson queries Jeanine about Laraby's autopsy: she says it will be her once his body thaws out in two to three days. The lusty Arkonian doctor also states that Laraby's death has been ruled a suicide after Benson urges her to check for all kinds of defensive wounds - the Ark's captain, yet to be introduced, made the declaration herself. Also, Laraby's arm snapped off in the crash that he caused because he felt the need to go out in the fucking pod to begin with, jeopardizing all of humanity in the process.
And of course, because Patrick loves a horny medic, she wants to see Benson's penis before he goes. Must be nice being this guy, living one of the oldest male fantasies of all time.
--E4: Benson is righteously admonished by Hekekia before Mahama can strike him up. Highlighted in red is Benson spouting off Patrick S. Tomlinson-tier bullshit about how if the pod was sent out under remote control, it would never have returned in the first place. Horseshit, man. Of the 90-minute recovery window, Benson wasted at least 30 minutes with his fucking stunt. If he had not insisted he go out in the pod, odds are astronomically high that none of this would have happened and they'd have enjoyed a smooth operation.
--E5: *Captain Mahama* is formally introduced, presumably the lady in charge of the Ark's Crew and everything going on here outside of the aforementioned Council whose full membership has yet to be established. Patrick shows us just how inclusive he is that an old Zimbabwean woman occupies the role of Captain on the Ark, which brings me to making a very tired but nevertheless important point: he's as much a true believer in Left-wing propaganda as Cenk Uygur is, and he can't help but champion this diversity crap everywhere he goes. I'm hazy on when "diversity", or the obnoxious installation and fronting of minority ethnicities in all kinds of media really took off, but this book was published in 2015, meaning writing could have been underway as early as 2014.
There is not a single white male in this story who occupies any meaningful position aside from Bryan Benson, whom is obviously Patrick's self-insert so of course he can't be low on the food chain. The only other white male character is Constable Korolev, a Russian bit character in Chapter 2 who may or may not appear again, and Laraby is dead so who the fuck cares - actually, if Laraby is technically white (his name makes it possible) then a white man died first among a richly diverse cast, which I'm sure Patrick must have thought was a great twist or subversion. And no, I'm not counting the old fart Salvador Kite, whose name (and nickname Sal) strongly implies Italian or Sicilian descent to me. And even if he is white, he's portrayed as a criminal who miserably laments about how his lineage will die out and he'll shovel shit and probably die when a tree falls on him on Tau Ceti G - I'm not being facetious.
Everyone with real authority, power and influence is either female, a minority, or both. True, it was obvious immediately from Chapter 1, with the ridiculous focus on *Zero Finals* and a Mexican and Chinese team being front and center, but there's a certain kind of hubris in Mahama tracing her roots back to Zimbabwe, a historically poverty-ridden shithole among shitholes. The hyper-specificity of this is very telling about Patrick himself. My guess is if this were a TV show (or worse, a video game), Mahama would be played by Debra Wilson, twisting the knife that much deeper between our collective ribs.
Honestly, I'm shocked we haven't seen an Indian yet. If we do, I guarantee you they'll be part of a Tech biz, likely a C-tier employee. Mark my words.
--E6: Benson goes on a walk with Mahama, pondering *Zero Finals* as usual and bringing the trees to our attention. Mahama starts things off with one of *those* kinds of queries (if there is a technical term, I don't know it), you start of a serious topic, reference something insignificant, and use it as a jumping pad for your super cereal discussion. Needless to say I don't really care about the trees or what they produce. I'm amazed Patrick didn't make a "joke" about pollen being tree cum.
I'll bite and say that I like this part and it deserves some recognition: humanity needs a sense of familiarity in the form of greenery, or something similar to orient them in the vast unknown. We also learn that the Nibiru Black Hole was genuinely absorbing the Sol System, or, I dunno, tearing through its Kuiper belt as she said. Either way, that's at least an answer to how in the Hell this magical black hole was ever relevant. Too bad I, as a reader, don't care one whit about it, because it's over 200 years past its relevancy.
Patrick loves his proper nouns, *the Flip* and *the Landing*, everything has to sound basic and forgettable. Beyond that, the final sentence of her dialogue highlighted red makes me say 'Kiss My Ass'. Why would anyone have bothered ordering Benson to do this if all they were going to do is fucking complain about it and get in the way of the investigation?
This is going to be one of the most retarded conspiracies of all time.
--E7: Mahama insists she doesn't want Laraby's death ruled as a suicide or the investigation buried. Her sincerity's not a concern, though, just this pointless meandering about whether or not Benson should have been punished, a pissing contest about jurisdictions... you can't get much more padded than this right here!
Captain Mahama informs Benson that she decided on leniency and cools the atmosphere with a heap of unearned ass-kissing and another *Zero Finals* reference. Benson remains suspicious of recent events, however: two of the Crew's VIPs have spoken to him, the chief constable of Avalon district, in person. That's gotta mean something, right? It's like Benson says, something smells funny, and it's not the fishy aroma of Theresa's crotch this time.
Nothing happened. Again. Benson wakes up, gets hit on by a doctor he knew earlier in life who can't get his cock out of her mind and wants to look at and touch it, and then he gets admonished by the Samoan guy and then the Crew's Captain herself takes him for a walk and... nothing of value or interest occurs. They manage to say so little despite speaking so much. It's impressive. I have been as earnest as I can be reading through this dross from start to finish and I can't come up with ANYTHING that justifies this chapter or what took place in it. It's just Patrick S. Tomlinson. If there is some kind of effect one should be feeling after all of this, I can't identify it, even knowing too much about the author.
now, with that out of the way, here's the Acknowledgements page from The Ark.
let's look at it word by word, sentence by sentence. in the first paragraph, i appreciate that he's honest about his chronic alcoholism. the rest of it reads like a teenager's myspace page. the second paragraph mentions Niki, his girlfriend at the time, and he appears to attribute much of this schlock to her. if you ask me, that's a fucking insult. i guarantee you she's never read this, and she probably had to pretend she did.
what i'm interested in comes in the third paragraph. maybe some Pat Lore Specialists™ will know these people: Michael Todd Gallowglas and Bradley P Beaulieu. maybe they were present during the Lappening? they're probably extremely distant former friends considering how Patrick treats people in his expansive gravity well.
Russell Galen is identified as Patrick's agent at this time. i wonder for how long he was his agent? if he still is? here's a couple links to this guy. if there's any connection between him and SFWA that'd be an interesting reveal, but i don't have a LinkedIn account. from the first link, which appears to be the agency he belongs to, here's some words from him:
Patrick S. Tomlinson is fortunately unlisted by Mr. Galen. nevertheless, it's my opinion this man cannot be trusted with literature following his association with Fat Rick.
the most important part now: the mongoloids who published The Ark, an outfit known as 'Angry Robot'. they're still active and probably still signing all new Patrick S. Tomlinsons as we speak. what's interesting is that none of the people mentioned are still working with Angry Robot, and Marc Gascoigne is still listed as the CEO on google even though he sold the company in 2014, and in 2019 he started up another business called Aconyte Books. this is likely due to them all wanting to get as far away as possible from the all-consuming black hole colloquially known as Pork Squealer.
one Larry Rostant is mentioned for his "boundless enthusiasm" for the book and pitching the perfect cover art. you be the judge. i, for one, regard it as a boring, knock-off dustbin render (not even a real illustration) that conveys fucking nothing, which is the case with about 99% of book covers from my point of view. and Larry apparently provided cover art for GRRM's Song of Ice and Fire series, like The Rise of the Dragon, Fire and Blood, and A Dance with Dragons.
the cover art shown on Angry Robot's website is not the cover art that i have. the first image above is the original cover art, also shown in my e-reader. the second is what i found on the AR website. if i had to pick between these two, i'd choose the first, because at least there's a fucking attempt at hooking the audience on the front (which is actually a lie because we STILL haven't witnessed any killing, but nevermind) , and the second looks stretched and inorganic.
here's Patrick's page on their website, but be warned that you'll get a close-up shot of his gay ass twitter avatar. he seems to have done a number of interviews, which are linked there, but i don't know if i have the gunt capacity to listen to them.
the acknowledgements end with a disturbing implication that The Ark was written over the course of several years and if that's the case then traditional publishing should hurry up and die as soon as possible so that this mistake can never, ever be repeated again. i can't even begin to describe how bad that would be, if this was in the works for actual years and was released in the condition that i have been reading and relating.
lmao.
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- Joined
- May 31, 2021
It’s preference, but as a non burger, I find most middle American accents to be bland, not bad, just bland.
Many southern or approaching southern accents are shrill at worse or sound retarded at best.
Brooklyn, New Orleans/Louisiana or a proper broad Texan accent are my favorites. Mostly because they have more character and tend to have a quality to them.
I mean I can talk with my odd mish mash of RP, west Belfast and east faakin laaaaadin.
On the other hand Fatrick’s accent is oinky and fat.
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2021
Fatrick’s oinkcent