Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[LGHDR+]

He did pound the absolute shit out of a boy in the year above us.
This kid was banging said friends 12 year old sister.

I no longer care about his misuse of the phrase. God damn hero!

 

[I'mThePatMan!]

He did pound the absolute shit out of a boy in the year above us.
This kid was banging said friends 12 year old sister.

Does your friend know he beat a future Grandmaster at SFWA or what?

---

Reconstruction: POV of FinnSven's friend beating the shit into* the pedo

(artists rendition)
*I don't care about the logistics of it. God works in mysterious ways.

 

[Meat Target]

It gives the impression that this fat faggot literally carries a spoon around with him, because he has desperately desired the fantasy scenario where he somehow, despite being obviously incredibly fat and weak, knocks out someone's teeth. And then takes out his spoon, gathers up the teeth, and then forces his aggravated assault victim to eat them.

He probably does carry around a spoon. But that's because he's a fat gluttonous pigman who needs to eat 24/7.

 

[HodgePodgeRogerDodger]

This is the gayest shit I've heard, and I heard Josiah 5.

It boils down to basically everyone for years mocking Andy Richter for being the worst sidekick in late night (talking over the bit, doing unfunny shit, and basically only serving to be the butt of jokes). At some point someone realized that Andy comes off as a massive faggot so they start doing gay jokes. Then Andy basically has a psychotic breakdown because his father was a closeted fag who left his mother and Andy has been buck broken by the Entertainment industry not allowing him to have a misgivings against fags.

So Norm basically stops until he realizes that Andy is a swarmy douche and basically everyone decides to fuck with him this way because they all realize him crying about his faggot dad and faggot son is an excuse for Andy to act like a douche without people calling him out or fucking with him.
Then basically everyone just goes on and Norm does bait and switches.

Richter also is friends with Tim Heidecker and went on his podcast when Norm was getting canceled to shit on him. He’s also gone on unhinged twitter tirades wishing random teenagers get raped and die of birth complications because she had different beliefs on abortion then him he really is just a more successful Patrick.

 

[LGHDR+]

It boils down to basically everyone for years mocking Andy Richter for being the worst sidekick in late night (talking over the bit, doing unfunny shit, and basically only serving to be the butt of jokes). At some point someone realized that Andy comes off as a massive faggot so they start doing gay jokes. Then Andy basically has a psychotic breakdown because his father was a closeted fag who left his mother and Andy has been buck broken by the Entertainment industry not allowing him to have a misgivings against fags.

So Norm basically stops until he realizes that Andy is a swarmy douche and basically everyone decides to fuck with him this way because they all realize him crying about his faggot dad and faggot son is an excuse for Andy to act like a douche without people calling him out or fucking with him.
Then basically everyone just goes on and Norm does bait and switches.

Richter also is friends with Tim Heidecker and went on his podcast when Norm was getting canceled to shit on him. He’s also gone on unhinged twitter tirades wishing random teenagers get raped and die of birth complications because she had different beliefs on abortion then him he really is just a more successful Patrick.

Does he have a thread? Sounds like he needs one.

 

[Post Reply]

That was before two accidents listed on the Carfax or whatever. It's worth $5K maybe. Fatty is a complete fucking loser boasting about this piece of shit.

Carmax gettin stiffed out here.
EDIT: Updated with his zip code and more current milage, estimate fell another $500.

 

[HodgePodgeRogerDodger]

Does he have a thread? Sounds like he needs one.

I think there was an articles and happening thread when he wished a teenager would get gang raped and die of birth complications.

My dislike of Richter comes from watching Conan and loathing him. Him forever being a sidekick and failing is karma. He’s one of those faggots who tries to slide into that affable nice guy nerd shit as a personality and that’s all he will be.

 

[Maldron the Assassin]

If we get a transcript we can probably AI generate the audio.

In Josh's voice.

 

[BaskingBarracuda]

Update:
View attachment 5279806
Judge Sosnay, your Honor, I'm officially asking you to postpone Patrick's sentence for at least a couple months. He'll have a loT of correcTing to do. Jail will have to wait, just a bit. Thank you.

‘Blocking is the only thing that makes this site tolerable’ says the man whose inability to use the Block button is part of the reason he’s in the mess he’s in right now.

 

[Migraine Box]

It gives the impression that this fat faggot literally carries a spoon around with him, because he has desperately desired the fantasy scenario where he somehow, despite being obviously incredibly fat and weak, knocks out someone's teeth. And then takes out his spoon, gathers up the teeth, and then forces his aggravated assault victim to eat them.

This has to be the dumbest and most ridiculous and gayest scenario of any violence fantasist. And this fat faggot thinks this is something to use as a taunt.

Fatrick is 100% the kind of retard who would carry around one of these

 

[Troon_Patrol]

That was before two accidents listed on the Carfax or whatever. It's worth $5K maybe. Fatty is a complete fucking loser boasting about this piece of shit.

Also Chigurh-posting I legit busted a gut.

I don't know what's funnier, the Chigurh-post or this mental retard denying he lost a lolsuit despite it being a matter of public record. He literally has worms in his brain.

Two on record accidents? Yes that would diminish the value of a "collectors car" quite a bit. I would agree it's closer to 5K at best via private party, a dealership would probably offer him somewhere around 2-3K for it, purchase or trade-in value.

I stay the fuck off Twitter, I'm really ignorant of how it works but, Twitter is really no longer allowing people to block people who say mean things to them? Fatty won't be able to say something and then immediately block people so he can get the last word it? Oh my, he's really going to lose his shit. For someone who obsessively spends all day and night on Twitter, that service has really fucked him in the ass wihtout lube. They took $5,000 of his money and didn't even give him the blue check mark IIRC, now he's not going to be able to "yell insults, and run away"? Someone please tell me if I have this correct.

 

[I'mThePatMan!]

Redoing this post because I'm a retarded and accidentally deleted it the first time. Fuck.

---

The Brothermen may hate everyone on KF, but how am I supposed to not archive this? It's the kind of shit that's just too retarded, too funny, and too fat to happen to anyone else but Pat. Thanks brotherman Jenna for the rib damage.






Brotherman FrickleFrackle chimes in, reminding us of one of Pat's Xeets about the gym:


Now, is it true? I can't say for sure, but I can say I remember Piggy telling a certain journalist he is "into things". And I also remember Pat said in a tweet that the used the sauna every single day he went to the gym. But alas, I guess we'll never know...

...Nah, screw that, this theory answers too many mysteries. I'm this close to elevating it to confirmed canon, all we need now is some professional opinion:


Good enough. It's settled then.

 

[Piggle Rick]

Two on record accidents? Yes that would diminish the value of a "collectors car" quite a bit. I would agree it's closer to 5K at best via private party, a dealership would probably offer him somewhere around 2-3K for it, purchase or trade-in value.

I stay the fuck off Twitter, I'm really ignorant of how it works but, Twitter is really no longer allowing people to block people who say mean things to them? Fatty won't be able to say something and then immediately block people so he can get the last word it? Oh my, he's really going to lose his shit. For someone who obsessively spends all day and night on Twitter, that service has really fucked him in the ass wihtout lube. They took $5,000 of his money and didn't even give him the blue check mark IIRC, now he's not going to be able to "yell insults, and run away"? Someone please tell me if I have this correct.

Pretty sure it was $10,000. Paid $5,000 for the first reinstatement then another $5,000 for the second, where he lost the check mark.

 

[I'mThePatMan!]

It boils down to basically everyone for years mocking Andy Richter for being the worst sidekick in late night

My dislike of Richter comes from watching Conan and loathing him.

I know most people love Conan, so I feel like I'm about to Patrick my way into my own personal Norm/11, but as a non-american, I gotta ask... Why does anyone watch that show? I swear I've tried to, but both Conan and Richter put me off big time. Conan looks and sounds like a complete arrogant douchebag who needs to get that stupid hair punched off his scalp, and Richter looks like a pathetic dog (either just sitting there doing nothing but leaving fleas on the couch, or obnoxiously begging for his master's attention).

Maybe my opinion comes just from me not "getting" american humor, because people always told me these two were hillarious. But when you have Norm there, stealing the show... In in my humble opinion the difference between a real comedian and those two is just too great.

 

[HodgePodgeRogerDodger]

I know most people love Conan, so I feel like I'm about to Patrick my way into my own personal Norm/11, but as a non-american, I gotta ask... Why does anyone watch that show? I swear I've tried to, but both Conan and Richter put me off big time. Conan looks and sounds like a complete arrogant douchebag who needs to get that stupid hair punched off his scalp, and Richter looks like a pathetic dog (either just sitting there doing nothing but leaving fleas on the couch, or obnoxiously begging for his master's attention).

Maybe my opinion comes just from me not "getting" american humor, because people always told me these two were hillarious. But when you have Norm there, stealing the show... In in my humble opinion the difference between a real comedian and those two is just too great.

Conan is very much someone who’s older stuff is better, but it’s like watching Seinfeld when you watched Friends first or old television that was heavily bound by Practices and Standards. Oddly enough a lot of his writers (Louis CK, Dino Stamatopoulos, and a few others) would go on Opie and Anthony in the 90’s.

I think a good amount of his best shit is also DMCA’d because it’s owned by FOX or MSN.

Norm is one of the best because he has a great delivery and he can do that sort of Andy Kaufman get the audience in on a joke. He was unpretentious while Conan is very pretentious, Conan was a Harvard/ National Lampoon alumni.

 

[AnOminous]

My dislike of Richter comes from watching Conan and loathing him. Him forever being a sidekick and failing is karma. He’s one of those faggots who tries to slide into that affable nice guy nerd shit as a personality and that’s all he will be.

He was like Hank on the Larry Sanders show except Hank was actually funny as a bitter, jealous sidekick.

Maybe my opinion comes just from me not "getting" american humor, because people always told me these two were hillarious. But when you have Norm there, stealing the show... In in my humble opinion the difference between a real comedian and those two is just too great.

That's sort of why it is funny, though. When they have someone funnier on, they let him be funny and don't interrupt.

 

[Uncle Buck]

I know most people love Conan...

Conan was fantastic as a follow-up to Leno the way Letterman was great following Carson... All of them were funny in their own way, but Conan simply didn't do well in the 11:30 time-slot and Dave, though CBS stuck with him, consistently lost to Leno in the ratings over much of their head-to-head run.

The problem with both Letterman and Conan is that neither was content being the follow-up guy but neither was truly outstanding in the lead-off position. And Conan, for me, lost a lot of likability with the way he responded to his failure to launch at 11:30. The real villains were the NBC execs for trying to keep Leno and Conan and screwing with both of their acts, but Conan - with the help of Dave, Howeird Stern and eternal faggot Kimmel - made a bit out of blaming Leno as the big bad [and promptly, along with the rest of them, ran it into the ground]. And Leno still went on to do better than Letterman until his real retirement. Kimmel continued to eat shit on GayBC and Stern completed his transition to Hamptons Howie and a significantly less funny version of Imus the Golden Years.

And, let's be honest, Dave became a tremendous shitlib douchebag as he moved from the late 2000s through retirement, only to be followed by Colbert who is just awful in every possible way.

 

[Ira the Weatherman]

I seem to remember the pests discovering that she had already declared bankruptcy before she married the amorphous blob of fat, some time in the 2010s. And even if I'm wrong don't you think she's somehow a responsible member of society with good credit? Somehow I just doubt either of them could get credit for a pack of gum without the parents cosigning either way.

I think it was earlier than that, mid-2000s when she was in her early twenties.

Nice life, stupid.

 

[I'mThePatMan!]

Norm is one of the best because he has a great delivery and he can do that sort of Andy Kaufman get the audience in on a joke. He was unpretentious which Conan is, Conan was a Harvard/ National Lampoon alumni.

I promise this is my last time derailing the thread today. The fact that Conan went to Harvard and Norm (as far as I know) almost/actually didn't graduate from HS tells us how much intelligence doesn't equal academic achievements (Pat notwithstanding).

I discovered Norm as a child watching an old Adam Sandler movie where he played one of Sandler's retarded friends. I remember I thought "ha, what a weird guy, he talks in a funny way, I like him". Even though I was just a stupid kid, his "dumb weird way" of acting was enough to make me pay attention to him. It took me years to watch him again (no one knows who Norm is in my asscrack of the world, so his stuff never came up).

Only as an adult you can really appreciate how smart that man was, and how that "dumb" way of his was exactly how he fooled you (just look how easily he manipulated that crowd and snatched the reigns from Conan). I've yet to see another person playing the part so well. I don't know Andy Kauffman's stuff as much as I should, but from the little I've seen, he was quite similar to Norm in that way, wasn't he?

Harvard my ass, you can't buy your way into brilliance.

 

[Piggle Rick]

Colbert who is just awful in every possible way.

I am loving that the writers strike is keeping unfunny TDS hacks like him off the air during this time of Trump potentially going to jail. I hope if bad things happen to Trump, that the strike lasts forever and that Pat is also in jail and unable to xeet about it.