Discussion/Show Recommendations for Non-Pozzed Children's Shows: A Guide for Kiwi Parents

[Lottie J. Lapp]

Ours like one called Olobob Top - it's pretty good, no politics, just little characters getting in simple adventures. The episodes are about the same runtime as Bluey too which seems to hit the mark for a kids attention span.

Bluey is the gold standard for young kids cartoons at the moment but there's not much out there like it.

We've also had really good luck going back to the classics. Mr. Rogers, Sesame Street, etc. Lots of good messages and good lessons in there and our kids are loving them as much as we did when we were their age.

 

[Woodchipper]

I think if you want to minimize the negative impacts of media consumption one of the best things you could do is limit your son's choices by not giving him access to streaming platforms. Things like Netflix and YouTube are convenient if you're a low self agency sort of person but it's not hard to set up something like a Plex server.
Your kid's generation alpha and will likely be facing whatever monstrosity follows this Tik Tok spazz format that's wrecking the hell out of zoomer brains. Better to teach him not to change the channel every 30 seconds for hours on end which is a risk when there's such a huge catalog of things for him to pick from.

 

[Optantrix]

I think if you want to minimize the negative impacts of media consumption one of the best things you could do is limit your son's choices by not giving him access to streaming platforms. Things like Netflix and YouTube are convenient if you're a low self agency sort of person but it's not hard to set up something like a Plex server.
Your kid's generation alpha and will likely be facing whatever monstrosity follows this Tik Tok spazz format that's wrecking the hell out of zoomer brains. Better to teach him not to change the channel every 30 seconds for hours on end which is a risk when there's such a huge catalog of things for him to pick from.

That's really good advice! I love my Plex server I probably spent way too much time adding stuff to it haha.
I just had to add Over the Garden Wall since it got removed from Max.

 

[Woodchipper]

That's really good advice! I love my Plex server I probably spent way too much time adding stuff to it haha.
I just had to add Over the Garden Wall since it got removed from Max.

Oh damn, well I'm glad you've already got that end of things covered. Very based.
Well outside of preventing dopamine overload, the only other suggestion I have is not to trust any franchise too much, especially once you get outside of babby shows. Most companies are glad to trojan horse in a touch of poz after receiving enough donations from lobbyists. Just look at what they did to Arthur

Regardless, it seems like you're sensible and have more agency than most parents. You'll do fine

 

[Human Waiter]

I think Blue's Clues would be good for a two year old.

 

[brocktherock]

If you don't mind Britbong suggestions, anything from the CBBC before 2010 alongside their US equivalents. I noticed most of the suggestions so far are cartoons, doesn't anyone remember educational TV? Things like SMart and Art Attack for arts and crafts and non-fiction shows? Put them in front of an animal documentary, one meant for children if you think a full-sized one is too challenging (that's kind of bs imo). I bring it up because I recently watched one for the first time in a long while and the slower pacing of it was like a magical decompression session for my brain against all of the ADHD-inducing crap online.

 

[Back me up!]

I think Blue's Clues would be good for a two year old.

Make sure to download and the original Blue Clues. Once they got rid of original Steve they lost some magic.

On Amazon Prime:
Stinky and Dirty is pretty good for 4 years olds as it about trying to solve problems.
Grizzly and the lemmings is basically slapstick looney toons for young kids.

 

[Anonitolia]

(I have limited experience with modern-day children, but I do have younger siblings who watched some of this stuff when it was airing. Take my commentary with a grain of salt. Also, seconding the guy here who said to limit media and the one who advocated for Plex (ignore its weird attempts to be a streaming service, just use it to set up a home server). Not sure giving kids more than like 6 shows to follow at a time will be very good for their attention spans if my Alpha cousins are anything to go off of.)

Avatar The Last Airbender seems to bore kids nowadays and may be too much given the war themes.

It's best saved for when your kid is at least a teenager, yeah. Kids under 9 won't be able to follow the plot and kids under 13-14 likely won't be able to handle some stuff near the end (like Azula's mental breakdown or the general uptick in violence). The show's best experience when you can analyze how well it's made, anyways, so save it for teens.

Invader Zim is dark as shit, also bad fanbase.

Another thing for teens. It's a lot more brazenly edgy though, and that episode about Zim eating organs or some shit was really explicit. Absolutely 13+ if not higher. Primo shit for the angst-ridden, though. (Seconding that fanbase comment.)

Jimmy Neutron is fairly good, cannot remember anything pozzed unless you count Jimmy and Cindy being in a romance.

It also had some weird mpreg shit in it, can't remember which episode. Probably on the same level as FoP.

Courage The Cowardly Dog is fine, but could scare a child.

Would absolutely scare a child. I think that's kind of the point in a lot of it.

• Samurai Jack is great, but might be boring.
• Teen Titans 2003 is great, tells interesting stories and deals with social issues, but in a proper way. Avoid the fanbase though.

Yeah, both are more for older kids. Probably pre-teens/young teens. Both have enough plot that they'd be confusing for younger kids and I think Teen Titans gets much heavier near the end (by which I mean there's less jokes, not more edge). Can't comment on Samurai Jack nearly as well.

Regular Show is fine, but does have cussing.

Regular Show is good for a kid, but it's great for an older teen. Cussing is also optional depending on where you live lol, I think the version that my siblings watched cut most of it out. Even that "pissed me off" scene was dubbed over with something else. Can't remember what, but it was more PG.

Steven Universe is fine for two seasons, though would recommend avoiding all-together.

It's not worth seeing the first 2 seasons. Just avoid it. It starts out pretty pozzed and the storytelling goes to shit after the first 2 seasons (but by the time those two are done you're already invested enough to want to watch further). Don't teach your kid what disappointment means through the medium of gay space rocks.
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As for recommendations... I remember Little Einstein and Blues Clues being a big thing with both my siblings but I'm not sure if that speaks to their quality. Avoid modern Blues Clues for sure- it's got shit like this in it-

-but Einstein is probably alright. I think there was a study done on it that proved it help develop the kid's brain or something.

Mr Rogers is a shoe-in. Great lessons taught in a timeless way that's more than worth showing to anyone, kid or not.

For older kids (preteen at the oldest, probably), Horrible Histories is an oldish British show that kind of focuses on gross-out humor and musical numbers but is also generally entertaining and covers stuff that doesn't usually get brought up in textbooks.
Avoid anything from 2015 onwards- they revived the series with an entirely new cast that isn't as good at the job and they made each episode more of a weird biopic (typically of a well-known figure) than a variety sketch show. Also there are a bunch of outdated references to internet memes and the series tends to try too hard.

If you want something sorta brainless for really young kids I know one of my cousins was obsessed with Pocoyo for a while. It's a pretty harmless Spanish TV show that has an English dub (in British English). Each episode is very short- only a few minutes each, I think?- and centers around very basic concepts like how to use an umbrella or an elephant and the titular child character having a race.
Supposedly it's getting a revival soon. Beware for obvious reasons, though I doubt they can do much harm. Apparently it was also revived in 2016, which I had no clue about because the aforementioned cousin only watched the older stuff. I can't comment on anything from 2016 onwards as a result.

Similarly, there's Octonauts. Definitely for kids older than Pocoyo, but not anyone older than like 8 years old. It's an educational series about a bunch of animals rescuing other animals underwater. I don't think there was anything pozzed in there save for some generic "save the environment" stuff. Apparently there's a new spin-off about them saving creatures above the ocean level too but I can't comment on that one. Was made in 2021 so I guess keep your guard up.
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Great idea for a thread OP, definitely a good first. Thanks for making.

 

[Basic Blond Boy]

It also had some weird mpreg shit in it, can't remember which episode. Probably on the same level as FoP.

It was the one with Carl getting an alien parasite in him, forgot about that. Also, should say that Carl does have the creepy obsession with Jimmy's mom, but at least she doesn't reciprocate his feelings.

Other than like 1-2 episodes, Jimmy and FOP are usually fine, unless someone else wants to list more issues with them.

Another thing for teens. It's a lot more brazenly edgy though, and that episode about Zim eating organs or some shit was really explicit. Absolutely 13+ if not higher. Primo shit for the angst-ridden, though. (Seconding that fanbase comment.)

I saw it at age 7 and was fine. My first exposure was one of the more horrid scenes too as it was the second episode where Zim rips the eyes out of a kid.

The episode you are thinking of is Dark Harvest. Zim needs to pass a medical exam so he starts stealing organs and replacing them with objects. Gaz had like a kidney taken and replaced with her gameboy and Dib his vocal trac with a cow toy. The episode was said to have inspired a serial killer, hence its infamy.

Speaking on the fanbase, at this point it is mostly just gay shippers for Dib x Zim.

Would absolutely scare a child. I think that's kind of the point in a lot of it.

Would also say Billy & Mandy might scare a child. I remember having some fear over some Spider episode where Mandy turns into one.

 

[Generic Anime Girl]

I'd say kids stuff up to like the mid 2010's is fine. Nemo was the shit as a kid, used to watch that on a loop And for girls, there's tons of hello kitty shows and webisodes for them. JUST DON'T PUT YOUR CHILD ON THE INTERNET FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Stuff like Planet Earth can be a little adult so I wouldn't recommend that specifically, but how about animal shows or documentaries for kids?
If someone handed me a wayward child I had to entertain my first thought would be to give them some blocks/legos and turn on something about animals. Maybe penguins.


In fact, if you're looking to avoid pozzed garbage, look up past programming on PBS kids, (PBS is the public broadcasting station in the US): there was actually an incident in the 2000s where a show was forced to remove a lesbian couple from their program because their public funding was threatened if they put that shit in there, that's how hardline things were.

They had a lot of good, non-cartoon programming for kids, like Wishbone: a live action show where a little dog would dress up in outfits and act out old literature, (it's got a 92% audience rating, I swear it's less lame than it sounds).
Plus, at the end of the show he'd spend a minute or two talking about how the episode itself was made behind the scenes (stunts etc.) to give some insight into the production process.

No offense to other posters (although yes a little offense) but shit like Jimmy Nutron or Ed Edd N' Eddy are straight up brainrot garbage. They're crude and deliberately stupid, don't encourage kids to watch that stuff unless you want them to not turn out right.

 

[Snuckening2]

For young kids (say 7 and under)

-The Big Knights

-Roobarb and Custard (i forgot how incredibly great the opening music is. wild)

For older/any age

-Monkey Magic
(can't find full eps on YT, but heres some clips)

And, I already had a buttload of old movies like Marx bros, Laurel & Hardy, 3 Stooges, old Disney live action movies like Treasure Island, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (plus all the 'golden age' cartoon features), some 80s kids movies like Never-ending Story, Labyrinth, Dark Crystal, etc. There was some more recent kid-friendly stuff; Wall-E, one or two of the CGI Dr Suess movies. Pixar-style stuff like Incredibles and Despicable Me. But 95% is pre-2000. I also had a big stash of cartoon shorts from the 30's to 60s that I'd torrented- Classic WB, Disney shorts, Tom & Jerry, Betty Boop, Popeye, the first Fleischer seeries of Superman shorts, etc- So for years, my kids basically just watched that stuff, with essentially no awareness that stuff like Netflix or Youtube Kids even existed.

That was only possible, coz I already had a few terabytes of old movies on hard drives, so it takes some effort. But IMO it's way better than just trusting whatever YT kids, or Netflix or whatever feeds them. I 100% agree with other posters, saying don't give kids access to streaming.

Especially if introduced young, kids love old comedies like Marx bros or 3 Stooges, with lots of dumb slapstick. And I really feel like that stuff helps give them a kind of pre-woke mindset, where you can just laugh at stuff, and not everything is some hand-wringing social message. Personally, I think immersing kids in old media like that goes a long way.

(I could probably write down the maybe 300 or 400 old movies from the 30s to 00's, from the "kid friendly" collection I sectioned off, if anyone's interested? Not for a 2yo, obviously, but for older kids, say 5 and up)

 

[Bloitzhole]

The Animals of Farthing Wood catalogues the journey of a band of woodland creatures forced to move because of human expansion into their territory.
Along the way they face real peril and death. It's light hearted at times, but does not sugarcoat the reality of how harsh nature can be. Characters are shot, run over, impaled, die of old age or fall prey to predators. There is dealing with grief and real adversity, with villains who have logical motivations rather than being caricatures or evil for the sake of it as is often the case. It is about the struggle for territory and safety in an uncertain world. It does not offer easy answers to genuine moral quanderies. It is sort of watership down "light" if you will.

Alfred J. Kwak is the tale of a young duckling whose entire family is run over by a car in the very first episode. The orphaned Duckling is raised by his adoptive uncle, a Mole named Hank and has to overcome his grief and learn to live on his own. The show incorporates recent history into its narrative and transposes issues of fx South African Apartheid into the animal kingdom. It also has a very solid intro

Both of these shows can be watched by children 6 - 8, but ideally with a parent imo. They are good enough to where I think it won't be a chore to sit through them and it makes kids ask fundamental questions that a parent should be there to work through with them.

 

[Coolio55]

For younger kids (around 3-6) I'd recommend:
Bear in the Big Blue House - Good (technically *post*) Jim Henson show. Treelo is a little bit annoying and Shadow is creepy as fuck though.
The Moomins (1977) (This one can be considered all ages) - Good stop motion shit but I can't recommend anything Moomin-y anymore because the author is an oldschool SJW.
Basically anything Smallfilms (Bagpuss, The Clangers etc.)
Blue's Clues (note: DO *NOT* confuse this with the new CGI one. They massacred my girl...)
(Pre-Reboot) Postman Pat and Fireman Sam

For older kids (and neckbearded 30 somethings) you have basically the entire 1990-2010 runs of Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network at your disposal.
Spongebob gets bad after the movie (Season 4 is where the rot starts)
Fairly Odd Parents also has seasonal rot although I'm not personally aware of *when* it occurs. There's also a lot of suspicious fetishy moments in the good seasons but I can't tell if it's because the internet's ruined my mind.

 

[Anonitolia]

Fairly Odd Parents also has seasonal rot although I'm not personally aware of *when* it occurs.

It's the baby. It started at the baby.
Poof was okay for like half a season and then got old. Then they made him talk, then they got a dog, then they got Timmy but female...

 

[Lithuophile]

Mate, exposing your kids to the telly is just as bad as exposing them to the internet. Get them on books and sports.

 

[Weed Eater]

I'm surprised nobody brought up "Oswald" or "Little Bear" yet, these two were very comforting shows. What I appreciated about these two shows the most was the calm energy.

 

[Gunty King]

My parents had me watch nothing but Christian shows when I was a kid. tbh most of them sucked, but when you had literally zero exposure to the other stuff kids are watching you don't realize how bad it is. As long as you don't let them watch anything with a budget they won't know any better and will probably enjoy it.

Donut Man and Davey and Goliath were pretty neat Veggietales is unironically fantastic and should be shown to your kid if you're at all religious, however the show I enjoyed the most was one called The Story Keepers. It had it all, action, characters in epic lifethreatening scenarios, Tim Curry, heroes and villains, and Bible stories (yeah sure the animation is bad especially early on, but again if you've never seen a Cartoon Network show, let alone a Disney animated movie it looked cool). Keep in mind, most of the competition for other Christian shows was live action of some dude reading from the Bible, so it's easy to see why it stuck out.

No idea if your kid will like them, but I watched them and ended up here instead of some tranny discord server so it's got to have something going for them. They're also pretty much guaranteed not to have anything more pozzed than a black character.

Oh yeah, and Bibleman is amazing too, not because the show itself is any good, but because it gave birth to this video.

 

[Catgirl Tyranid]

Oh yeah, and Bibleman is amazing too

Bibleman now has an animated series. I've seen every episode 10 times over and the theme song is embedded in my skull. It's fine, but when you already know each episode by heart it gets tiring.

This is why I introduced my son to Batman.

 

[Pokemon Conquistador]

If you're teaching your young kids the Bible, I'd recommend the anime version of Superbook. You can find the entire series here.

It's extremely accessible and kid-friendly, especially when you consider the sometimes dark themes in the source material.

Someone also posted a large Rankin Bass non-holiday collection, which is pretty wholesome overall. The Rankin Bass Hobbit is the best introduction to Tolkien in my opinion- far superior to the bloated live action version that came later. You can't say the same about Rankin Bass' Return of the King , but I watched it as a kid and I found it wonderfully dark, and it spurred my interest in the books when I got older. This fantasy cartoon from the 1980s has a very Tolkienesque vibe, and it was another of my favorites as a kid. I just wish I could find a non-potato version.

When the kids get a little older, introduce them to Jim Henson's The Storyteller. Classic tales as seen through a Dark Crystal Filter. Great stuff.