- Joined
- Aug 21, 2022
@Clown Baby, @Xenomorph, @caffeinated_pirate: Thank you very much. That was really bugging me. I wonder what Amber's big lie was?
Plot summary with commentary - why? I have no idea. I'm sure this is all just going to be clickbait and nontent bullshit. Well, let's get this done. Engage!
TL;DR: ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT. Ambo pretends she and Jade had sex the night before. Amber talks about the whole moving process, without providing any details of ANY value. Amber claims to now be 524.8lbs, down 18 lbs in 10 days. Twinkie and Rarity sighting. Amber's off her psych meds again, and has been for about 2 months now.
Since Ambo liked Trump's mugshot so much and found it so cute, I found her one that she'll find even MORE cute!
[Edited to fix the formatting]
Plot summary with commentary - why? I have no idea. I'm sure this is all just going to be clickbait and nontent bullshit. Well, let's get this done. Engage!
Amber's stressed from trying to hire a moving company. She needs to hire one, as no one will drive a U-Haul for her. I wonder if she can pay extra for them to wrap her in a moving blanket, roll her into the rig, and haul her to her new mystery location along with her trash?
Amber doesn't like the idea of the moving company packing for her. Nobody's touching her stuff but her. Amber claims it's part of her "OCPD-Thing". Amber tries to convince her audience that she doesn't even let JADE help pack for Amber. I guess she's forgotten how she vlogged herself sitting on her ass in 2020 while methmom and the thumb butler packed for her.
Amber keeps checking the viewfinder due to her camera continuously going out of focus... because she has blimped out beyond what her camera is programmed to recognize as a face. It has nothing to do with her vanity.
PLOT TWIST IN AMBO'S LIFE!!! Jade and Ambo hooked up last night - it just happened! And she woke up with no regrets, but they aren't getting back together. BULLSHIT!! First, nothing 'just happens' when you're over 500 lbs. I mean, the amount of effort to even waddle 3 steps puts her out of breath and at risk for her dangleeng an ankle.
Oh yeah: and second, and this is a total lie and it never happened.
Amber admits she overshares but doesn't know how to stop.
Amber talks a lot about moving, while making sure to scrub ALL details that would this even the slightest bit interesting or informative.
Amber pretends a fruit fly is buzzing around her.
JUMPCUT!! It's "the next day" from.... whenever. Tomorrow Amber has a virtual tour of the apartment she's going to be moving into.
Amber thinks she might be allergic to crabmeat. Her nose itches when she eats it. Good, it can go with your self-proclaimed AAAYG and shrimp allergy (she mentioned the shrimp thing on her old facebook account loooonnnnnng ago - before the aaayg nonsense).
JUMPCUT!! Makeup, and talking with the disembodied voice about Trump. Rarity!! 1 of 3 pets accounted for. Amber brushes rarity on camera for content. Amber pretends that she brushes Rarity multiple times per day, and Wasabi daily.
JUMPCUT!!! Amber and Twinkie walking outside. 2 of 3 pets accounted for. Amber's necklace is so tight, the charm is practically jutting out at a 90 degree angle. Amber pretends that she walks Twonk 3 times per day.
JUMPCUT!! Amber's back to laughing at Trump's mugshot. Yaknow, he's selling bumper stickers if you're interested. Also, she's put Jade in her phone as 'Baby Daddy'. Didn't she have Becky named 'Craig' or something like that?
JUMPCUT!! Virtual apartment tour update: The tour looked different than the pictures she saw. It was even better and she now likes the apartment even more. I hope so: according to your last vlog, you said that you've already committed to it. Amber said that she ALWAYS makes it work, as this isn't her first rodeo.
BITCH, PLEASE! This is Amber's history of finding apartments:
She's more anxious about this move as opposed to the others because of the distance she's moving. BULLSHIT!! All of her other moves have been far:
California -> Oklahoma -> Arizona -> Virginia -> Florida -> Kentucky.
The only difference is that this time she might have to do it on her own.
Amber responds to Sabine Davis that No, Amber is NOT taking any diuretics to lose weight.
Amber says that she audience has voted for daily weigh ins instead of weekly, so:
"Yesterday" (Aug 23) - 527.4lbs.
"Today" (Aug 24) - 524.8lbs.
18 lbs lost in 10 days. Amber pretends that things are SO MUCH EASIER NOW that she's gotten down to 5 lbs heavier than she was during Vlogmas. (Expect Amber to 'forget' her audience's request for weigh ins within a couple of weeks).
Amber has been OFF of her psych meds for 2 months now, and now feels so much better. Remember just 4 months ago, Amber was saying she felt SO MUCH BETTER since she was taking her meds as precribed, and it was her NOT TAKING THEM that was making her mentulz so bad? It's almost as if she doesn't NEED her meds, because she DOESN'T HAVE THE DISORDERS SHE CLAIMS TO HAVE. SO WEIRD!
Byee!
Amber doesn't like the idea of the moving company packing for her. Nobody's touching her stuff but her. Amber claims it's part of her "OCPD-Thing". Amber tries to convince her audience that she doesn't even let JADE help pack for Amber. I guess she's forgotten how she vlogged herself sitting on her ass in 2020 while methmom and the thumb butler packed for her.
Amber keeps checking the viewfinder due to her camera continuously going out of focus... because she has blimped out beyond what her camera is programmed to recognize as a face. It has nothing to do with her vanity.
PLOT TWIST IN AMBO'S LIFE!!! Jade and Ambo hooked up last night - it just happened! And she woke up with no regrets, but they aren't getting back together. BULLSHIT!! First, nothing 'just happens' when you're over 500 lbs. I mean, the amount of effort to even waddle 3 steps puts her out of breath and at risk for her dangleeng an ankle.
Oh yeah: and second, and this is a total lie and it never happened.
Amber admits she overshares but doesn't know how to stop.
Amber talks a lot about moving, while making sure to scrub ALL details that would this even the slightest bit interesting or informative.
Amber pretends a fruit fly is buzzing around her.
JUMPCUT!! It's "the next day" from.... whenever. Tomorrow Amber has a virtual tour of the apartment she's going to be moving into.
Amber thinks she might be allergic to crabmeat. Her nose itches when she eats it. Good, it can go with your self-proclaimed AAAYG and shrimp allergy (she mentioned the shrimp thing on her old facebook account loooonnnnnng ago - before the aaayg nonsense).
JUMPCUT!! Makeup, and talking with the disembodied voice about Trump. Rarity!! 1 of 3 pets accounted for. Amber brushes rarity on camera for content. Amber pretends that she brushes Rarity multiple times per day, and Wasabi daily.
JUMPCUT!!! Amber and Twinkie walking outside. 2 of 3 pets accounted for. Amber's necklace is so tight, the charm is practically jutting out at a 90 degree angle. Amber pretends that she walks Twonk 3 times per day.
JUMPCUT!! Amber's back to laughing at Trump's mugshot. Yaknow, he's selling bumper stickers if you're interested. Also, she's put Jade in her phone as 'Baby Daddy'. Didn't she have Becky named 'Craig' or something like that?
JUMPCUT!! Virtual apartment tour update: The tour looked different than the pictures she saw. It was even better and she now likes the apartment even more. I hope so: according to your last vlog, you said that you've already committed to it. Amber said that she ALWAYS makes it work, as this isn't her first rodeo.
BITCH, PLEASE! This is Amber's history of finding apartments:
- Amber was invited to move in with her maternal family in Oklahoma.
- After getting booted, she 'visited' Casey's family - then surprised them with the info that she was homeless and had nowhere to go.
- After alienating Casey's family, she suckered Krystle's family and moved in with them.
- After Krystle dumped her, she moved in with Destiny.
- She and Destiny moved around a bit, living with Destiny's family and later renting a townhouse.
- After Destiny dumped her, Amber's landlord wouldn't let Amber renew the contract, so Amber bullied Becky into getting into a relationship and letting her move into the gaycare.
- Becky helped Amber find the current apartment and moved Amber's shit while Amber prepared for surgery.
- This current move (where she needed Jade to tell her about apartments.com and 'take over' the search).
She's more anxious about this move as opposed to the others because of the distance she's moving. BULLSHIT!! All of her other moves have been far:
California -> Oklahoma -> Arizona -> Virginia -> Florida -> Kentucky.
The only difference is that this time she might have to do it on her own.
Amber responds to Sabine Davis that No, Amber is NOT taking any diuretics to lose weight.
Amber says that she audience has voted for daily weigh ins instead of weekly, so:
"Yesterday" (Aug 23) - 527.4lbs.
"Today" (Aug 24) - 524.8lbs.
18 lbs lost in 10 days. Amber pretends that things are SO MUCH EASIER NOW that she's gotten down to 5 lbs heavier than she was during Vlogmas. (Expect Amber to 'forget' her audience's request for weigh ins within a couple of weeks).
Amber has been OFF of her psych meds for 2 months now, and now feels so much better. Remember just 4 months ago, Amber was saying she felt SO MUCH BETTER since she was taking her meds as precribed, and it was her NOT TAKING THEM that was making her mentulz so bad? It's almost as if she doesn't NEED her meds, because she DOESN'T HAVE THE DISORDERS SHE CLAIMS TO HAVE. SO WEIRD!
Byee!
TL;DR: ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT. Ambo pretends she and Jade had sex the night before. Amber talks about the whole moving process, without providing any details of ANY value. Amber claims to now be 524.8lbs, down 18 lbs in 10 days. Twinkie and Rarity sighting. Amber's off her psych meds again, and has been for about 2 months now.
Since Ambo liked Trump's mugshot so much and found it so cute, I found her one that she'll find even MORE cute!
[Edited to fix the formatting]
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