Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Weird Ages]

View attachment 5302115
Imagine being this predictable.

"No stalker. We didn't. It was my mother-in-law's money"

 

[Null]

Pat retweeted Fat Jackie announcing her plans to personally harass the individual board members of an SMS provider for letting people send texts to a public phone number. Glad to see they have their priorities in order and have learned exactly nothing. You can lead Jackie to the toilet but you can't make her shit.

"Hey X, I am going to do Y until you Z."
This is textbook extortion.

 

[poopshoes]

For whatever reason today I had been feeling happier than usual and when I saw the news I knew I had found out why. I think I actually could sense a sort of divine justice in the air. God is real and pat is fat, child.

 

[King Of The Kiwis]

>No stalker child I will not pay 27,000 dollars to the terrorists instead I will pay 32,000 dollars. Maybe if you weren’t so busy being a stalker you could go to school child

 

[Seething Troon Collector]

Apparently while seething about having to pay Quasi for getting them caught up in some bullshit lawsuit, Fatty Tomlinson tried to put out a fatwa on OnAForums by appealing to CuckFlare:

Sorry pepperoni-man, they only care about protecting those heckin valid womxn from criticism when they/them try to groom children on the internet. So unless you're going to start wearing dresses and pop titty skittles like candy, they're not going to care.

Hope it was all worth $32,000+, child.

 

[Pork Packer]

"Hey X, I am going to do Y until you Z."
This is textbook extortion.

A rancid smelling pajeet committing phone based criminal activity, what a fucking shock

 

[Procrastinhater]

I can't wait to see how he copes over this to the Patposters.
Has he made a statement yet?

 

[Second Missing Primarch]

HOLD ON WAIT A MINUTE

damn it no wonder he says child a lot!

He also describes said prostitute as being a perfect little geisha doll who smells like apple blossoms even though she's part of an unsanctioned community that lives in the poorly maintained bowels of a 200-year-old generation ship, because he was definitely writing that part of the book with one hand and didn't stop to think about how a marginalized outcast living on the fringes of a spaceborne society would actually look.

Spoiler: What Pat was jerking off to when he wrote that part

Spoiler: What that girl would actually look like

Except, you know, she'd look like an underfed, probably semi-feral child and not 2009 Antje Traue.

 

[CharlesBarkley]

“Hello? Board of directors? I got a text message saying a dude farted in my vagina. I need you to - Hello? Hello?”

 

[TheAmbiguousLurker]

Another chapter wasted.

Spoiler: Book Sperging

--E1: After a truly terrible outing in the Ark's sublevel, Benson's returning to the station to find out who killed Edmond Laraby, courtesy of Dr. Jeanine Russell's inspection/autopsy. The part in Red here kind of annoyed me but I'm not able to articulate why. Anyone who has followed along a few chapters will probably understand.

Because with how inconsistently the book has treated what Benson does and does not know, having him wondering if he really knows anything about the ship he's been patrolling for ten years really feels like a middle finger?

Or they know attacking you in a public setting would be dumb and tip everyone else off to the attack definitely being connected to the murder.

What is this petulant bullshit? Theresa asks him about his sleeping habits, he shrugs it off and she gets ready to storm off and leave him to the murder mystery because he's a bit grumbly.

Funny how NONE of this bullshit explanation has ever been so much as hinted at through this entire story, Benson never tries to relate to Laraby or being indignant about the matter. In fact, Benson and story treat Laraby like a throw away character despite the fact that he's the center of this entire story, talking jack shit about who he was outside of 'He was a dude who did good work and liked to be clean.'. Benson was basically apathetic to the case until it involved people he wanted to see get fucked over.

God, I wonder why they're suddenly talking up Laraby and pretending he means anything...

So, again, what's the point of all the pretend cover-up over comms bullshit when, if your plants are being monitored by conspirators, they're going to see all this shit anyway?

And no, the fucking paints established jack shit. Once again, the painting Laraby had wasn't one of the stolen paintings, it had nothing to do with the heist that Feng's father took part in, it had nothing linking it to Feng unless we had prior confirmation that Feng had possessed that painting. It's like the second Phoenix Wright case where one of the characters gives his priceless painting to the villain due to black mail, but instead of Phoenix noticing that Grossburg's prized painting that he saw prior was missing, he just assumes Red White's painting is Grossburg's because they both look expensive.

Mahama's dialogue is starting to make me physically ill.

Benson asks Feng if he murdered Edmond Laraby - Feng, vehemently, answers No, and the lie detector determined, that he's telling the Truth.
Benson asks Feng if he conspired to murder Edmond Laraby - Feng answers No, and the lie detector determined, that he's telling the Truth.
Benson asks Feng if he hired someone to murder Edmond Laraby - Feng answers No, and the lie detector determined, that he's telling the Truth.

...Aren't those two basically the same question? Hiring someone to kill someone is conspiracy to murder.

Oh, so that's why Laraby was suddenly getting respect.

I love the reaction here, Benson goes from still not being able to understand the concept of cheating on your wife to affirming that he's totally cool with gay people guys. Which is even funnier considering how long it took him to figure out 'Wait, wait, don't fuck the child prostitute, Benson' two chapters ago.

Wait, this makes my Ace Attorney comparison even funnier: in that game, you can make Phoenix accuse Grossburg and Red White of being lovers too!

That explanation for being in the closet sounds so petty. Dude isn't even facing hate crimes or fearing the reaction of possibly intolerant loved ones, he just doesn't want to publicly admit that he and his gay lover probably won't get children.

Gotta love how Mahama never actually asked for Benson's new evidence, she just went straight to firing up the perfect lie detector that would have been insanely useful earlier in the investigation.

Unless it's gonna turn out that Laraby was murdered by the wife who found out about the affair, this entire plotline with the paintings and getting evidence on Feng is absolutely fucking pointless and this mystery has gone nowhere. Our mystery, two chapters away from the end, is: An important man was killed by someone who had the credentials to alter security logs. How fucking pathetic.

 

[Preacher ✝]

Now the only thing that isnt fat is his wallet.

 

[FamicomGorby]

I can't wait to see how he copes over this to the Patposters.
Has he made a statement yet?

He's still on Twitter childing anyone who says he paid Quasi as people continously post the screenshot that says he paid Quasi.

 

[SomethingFishi]

Brothers and Sisters in Patdom, today is a wonderful day. Rejoice!

 

[Procrastinhater]

View attachment 5302115
Imagine being this predictable.

From now on any time he tries to deny it just post the reciept at him and a pic of Norm laughing.
It'll drive him fucking nuts.

 

[Tiny Chinaman]

Congrats

 

[Uncle Buck]

I love the reaction here, Benson goes from still not being able to understand the concept of cheating on your wife to affirming that he's totally cool with gay people guys. Which is even funnier considering how long it took him to figure out 'Wait, wait, don't fuck the child prostitute, Benson' two chapters ago.

That explanation for being in the closet sounds so petty. Dude isn't even facing hate crimes or fearing the reaction of possibly intolerant loved ones, he just doesn't want to publicly admit that he and his gay lover probably won't get children.

Gotta love how Mahama never actually asked for Benson's new evidence, she just went straight to firing up the perfect lie detector that would have been insanely useful earlier in the investigation.

Unless it's gonna turn out that Laraby was murdered by the wife who found out about the affair, this entire plotline with the paintings and getting evidence on Feng is absolutely fucking pointless and this mystery has gone nowhere. Our mystery, two chapters away from the end, is: An important man was killed by someone who had the credentials to alter security logs. How fucking pathetic.

I can't be completely sure, so don't quote me, but this whole thing stinks of being conceived in the mind of a very ashamed, deeply in the closet, self-hating homosexual suffering from the cognitive dissonance of knowing that homosexuality is, let's be honest, more grotesque than almost anything but who truly honestly believes he's a bad person for thinking that way.

He may also be portly. Big through the hips; roomy. Fat, in other words.

 

[2ndBest]

The pork squealer is hollering all the way to the loan brokers, if he keeps this up he’ll lose his kneecaps to them as well.

 

[Yak-130 Mitten]

There will be a lot of drunken posts on twitter tonight

 

[Pork Packer]

Ya know I think I just realised the unique appeal and....dare I say.....allure of Porkman Pat

He is a surprisingly rare example of a high functioning autist capable of passing as normal to the majority of normies not paying attention right up until the point he starts talking or tweeting for any significant amount of time, at which point the true depth of his tism and narcisism become grotesquely apparent.

And what makes it rarer is the majority of such examples of high functioning passable-as-normie autists atleast have the basic intelligence and self preservation to not make themselves targets IRL or the internet, but Porkman Pat is such an idiot he went out of his way to do so and then inflicted this whole fucking clownshow upon himself over the course of several years due entirely to being so utterly fucking autistic, so utterly fucking narcissistic, and so utterly fucking stupid

Also now I have named him Porkman Pat I am going to have to spend the evening fighting the urge to rework the Postman Pat theme song to suit the Pat Mythos or create scuffed fanart of fatrick as Postman Pat.

 

[2ndBest]

There will be a lot of drunken posts on twitter tonight

“NO, STALKER CHILD, I WILL BE PERUSING LEGAL CHARGES AGAINST QUASI FOR STEALING MY 32K!”