- Joined
- Mar 21, 2023
Maybe she thought when she attended she would be out back BBQ'ing with the boys for the real gender euphoria feels.
Megathread Trannies posting their L's Online - Heckin valid people posting their funny misfortunes on the internet
- Thread starter Meiwaku
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- Joined
- Oct 6, 2021
I mean, the guy is her fucking neighbor, if Pooners weren't so weird and anti social she could have introduced herself beforehand and got invited to Grill with the Boys.Maybe she thought when she attended she would be out back BBQ'ing with the boys for the real gender euphoria feels.
Maybe she did and turned up with a tray full of peppers or whatever the fuck that vegan Grill is supposed to be.
Jacques1194
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2023
Damn, i guess my mother and aunt are really men trapped inside women's bodies because they like to barbecue in the summer.Real talk though, i dont fucking understand how the trans community claims that the movement isn't about stereotypes and yet this woman's gender euphoria is being able to barbecue?I swear these people must be living under a rock.
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2023
Time to powerlevel and take my TMIs but I cook the shit out of a BBQ. Time to get a hysterectomy I guess?
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2022
Of course she is. I only watched her first "comedy" show on Netflix but it wasn't funny and it felt like an hour and a half of being hazed simply because of her own trauma, which shouldn't be screeched at people who are paying you to be funny but rather discussed with a therapist. Her trauma dumping info lines up with the whole "sexually abused lesbian troons out to survive" stereotype we see again and again.
No one enforces gender roles, gender stereotypes and the whole "binary" thing quite as much as trannies. It's ironic, really. I don't think it's much of a PL to say I'm not feminine at all and as a kid I followed my older brother around like a puppy, I looked up to him and tried to do things to impress him and we'd hang out and play games. Had I been born a zoomer to munchie parents, I would definitely have become a pooner or an "UwU soft boi" enby abomination, thanks to the way trannies have chalked up the lines of the gender binary.
You can't be a girl who climbs trees or likes guns, or a boy who prefers to bake cakes or have an interest in fashion, you must CLEARLY be an egg waiting to get cracked by the trannies.
Thank god for some semblance of sanity from the pooners. Also "Multirachael" is black, has bipolar and ADHD.
Soooo, a hairy woman? Look at her from below the neck, clearly a woman. And why do so many pooners have plugs or gauges.
Maybe it's because you aren't trans and the dysphoria you're experiencing is a symptom rather than a cause..
Third post from /u/Edamamecheesecake, she just keeps delivering. Which way, tranny. Do you want people to acknowledge you're trans or do you want to be like everyone else, where everyone has enough shit of their own to deal with to care about your shit.
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thelongforgettenbrother
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2023
You know what's funny a women pretended to be a man to write about what it was like later on she killed herself. these unholy things wish for acceptance yet fail to see the real depth and cling to tiny bullshit in order to gain some sympathy,
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2015
She killed herself because she was mentally ill, Jeaus Christ! How hard is that to understand?
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2021
Yeah I get it even as a man, but chances are they wouldn't look like that if they hadn't mutilated them by strapping them down though.
They do that shit but the boobs are still growing, but because of the stupid binders instead of growing normally they end up with the pendulous dugs of an African tribeswoman because they've had the life squeezed out of them.
Gunter Hatherer
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2022
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2022
plenty of girls have tuberous breasts, it's not a binding problem or a bra problem but a developmental problem with breast tissue. But clearly both of the pooners I posted have multiple things going on that cause tired tiddies like that, like you say with binding but also weight related issues.
If you're talking about Norah Vincent, who wrote Self-Made Man after going undercover as a man to experience "male privilege" and to bust that myth, she killed herself because she never recovered from the trauma of the male experience. She wasn't a troon, it was an experiment to kill off the myth of sex-based privilege.
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behindyourightnow
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 17, 2021
In the comments of a post whining about how pooners didn't get to experience "boyhood" (complete with creepy fixation on young children of the opposite sex usually only displayed by MtFs), this Reddit FtM declares that she is giving herself a "boyhood" as an adult woman.
Boyhood apparently consists of "dinosaurs and truck toys."
They only push the idea that trans involves gender noncomformity to outsiders. Once they are among themselves, they drop that facade and openly admit that they believe that boy = short hair and trucks and girl = long hair and pink.
Belegar
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2023
PetiteFeet
I dug in the reddit profile:
There is a follow up letter too also brutal:
Oh god, a follow-up from dad.
"Let me tell you of some people I used to know who committed suicide. One...I don't really remember them. They tended to worry about uncontrollable things in their lives. They worried way too much about what others thought about them. They never felt comfortable being alone...they never mastered the art of knowing how to make themselves happy. They never knew how to cut the societal strings to toxic people or places. One did it with a gun to the head...two others did it more slowly through alcohol (died in their young 40s)...with just less than ten years to retirement.
Another false sense in your thinking...you are in fact...handsome...but even were you not...men don't have near the need for looks as do women. You have a bright future with a good living wage potential...you are naturally gentle and considerate. Many young women are going to try to match with you in the future. Men's value to women don't even come to bear until they are in their mid thirties or so...once they have established their career. Once that happens...women will chase you...especially foreign women. Young women in their twenties love men in their thirties...at least the ones who have their act together and can make a good living.
You don't envy women...you envied their relatively care free and stress free life...that is until they hit the wall in their thirties...and are without mates. Young women are catered to in our society. Young men have to struggle for the first thirty years of their lives to be able to be of worth to women. Women all have the safety net of marriage. They don't have to have a high paying career...a man has no such safety net. You also envied the way they get attention so easily...how so many young men want to talk with them.
Your brain is still forming...and math is a masculine brain specialty. Partially reforming your brain with female hormones will rob you of your unique gift. Notice the women who excel in math. They have more masculine traits...more masculine brains. You will lose your edge in math. There is much more to learn and explore...although you won't forget what you already know...future logical connections won't come so intuitively. Yes, there have been many good female mathematicians, however...all of the truly great mathematicians and scientists and engineers have been male. That is why the stem fields are flooded with males...besides females preferring to deal with people...and men with things or abstract ideas. Almost all of the important innovations have come from males. There is a reason for that...males excel in being able to visualize and manipulate objects in their minds.
Again, okay...you have depression. It needs pharmaceuticals to get to the root of the neurochemical imbalance. What you are being hoodwinked into is a pseudo psychotherapeutic diagnosis...and a hormonal "therapy" which doesn't deal with the true problem. No...you are depressed due to a chemical imbalance. There are antidepressants that can work wonders. My mother lost all of her anxiety with a once a day pill...fluoxetine...prozac.
Concentrate on your future. Do you feel a loss of all energy and motivation?
You are not seeing reality. Each of us must find what makes us happy...and then engineer our life to get the most time getting that happiness. I am most happy being alone...or just with family. I dislike most people...because I can see behind their facades. Most people do not have kind and giving hearts. Most people generate a false belief to hide behind...and then when they are faced with losing that faith...they have nothing left...but their bitterness and anger. Most people are shallow...except those of whom had suffered in their lives...or had been directly involved with someone who has suffered. Most play make believe in life...pretending that they are special...that their god will spare them some of the ugly events in life...just because they profess a certain belief. Once they get older...so many get envious and bitter. To have the knowledge too late, that they have never had special powers looking out for them...that they had lived a lie...had not truly loved life...but had instead...sought out a way to cheat death out of fear...or merely had wanted a social group to be part of...is to have regrets once life starts to fall apart as we age. Death comes to us all...but most never truly live for fear of it.
Your ultimate goal is to live with a purpose, which in turn gives a deep satisfaction in life. Spend some time alone in nature...look out upon a sunset and just let your mind wander. Learn to say...f it. Other people don't matter. There must come a time in life that you realize that unless you can make yourself happy...nothing can...or will. You have to love the path you tread in life...of a bright future...of so many great things in store for you. That one woman who steals your heart...the child you have who makes life even more magical. The magic of retirement when you may spend all of your time doing what pleases you most...chasing your passions.
Anyone can make up excuses in life...to not try...to be a rabbit safe in his den. To live life running from anxiety is not truly living. When you get your regular paychecks while building a retirement is freedom. Right now you don't have that. Know it is yet to come. Also know that negative feelings don't last....unless you believe they will. The easiest thing in the world is to think negatively. There is no disappointment because they live in a perpetual rut already. Of course you feel stressed out. I told you about taking on all the extra duties outside of your studies. Those who excel master focus. Concentrate on your goal...then allow some time just for yourself each day. Do what truly makes you happy. Think of yourself as being the only one on the planet. Yet...you had anything you wished for. What would you do that would make you the most happy? I never succumbed to negative thoughts because I knew that we may change our environment, situation, and surroundings...given time and directed focus towards the future we wish to create. I was, for 23 years...surrounded by some of the worst in society. Many drank or took drugs to deal with the stress. Me?... I exercised and kept the dream of retirement alive. I lived for the future. And when your mom and I married...and then later had you...I loved life even more. F other people...f the world. I would achieve my dreams. I would be happy in life. Yes...there was stress in my job. Yes...people cause the most stressful events in life. I mastered the ability to detach myself in life...to live in the world I would create...my future world that I knew I could make...slowly but surely. I knew that the people around me at that time were only a blip in life. I would not allow them to alter my path...no matter how so many attempted to have me sabotage myself through their provocations. I love life. I know you can as well. Nothing in our lives are permanent...especially negative feelings.
Remember...depression is common among Aspies. You are a handsome young man...especially now that you lost weight. Look at some of your pictures. You had always had romantic feelings for girls. This proves you are not wanting to be a girl. You wish to have a girl love you. Again...a man doesn't get much female attention until he makes something of his life. Once that happens...it is you who will get the attention. And it will continue throughout the rest of your life...as many single women get desperate from about thirty and beyond.
Again...that, so called therapist, is a thinly disguised feminist who is looking to press the extreme feminist agenda. They hate males...it is called penis envy. A marriage counselor...even a certified one...needs very little education. On top of this...she is merely a counselor...and a trainee at that.
[deadname]...what you greatly lack in life is experience. There is great evil in this world. Most people do not care about others...so many are extremely selfish. So many carry hatred in their hearts...as having someone or something else in life to blame for their own failures is far easier on their psyche. We are responsible for our own happiness. Although gender dysphoria is possibly...a real condition...it is exceedingly rare...and their are specific conditions which manifest themselves from infant hood. You had displayed none of those traits. What your "therapist" had done was to ask very general questions and or leading questions to get you to say something which she could then say was her certain and pre chosen "diagnosis". It is what con men do all the time."
Will this ever end.
"Let me tell you of some people I used to know who committed suicide. One...I don't really remember them. They tended to worry about uncontrollable things in their lives. They worried way too much about what others thought about them. They never felt comfortable being alone...they never mastered the art of knowing how to make themselves happy. They never knew how to cut the societal strings to toxic people or places. One did it with a gun to the head...two others did it more slowly through alcohol (died in their young 40s)...with just less than ten years to retirement.
Another false sense in your thinking...you are in fact...handsome...but even were you not...men don't have near the need for looks as do women. You have a bright future with a good living wage potential...you are naturally gentle and considerate. Many young women are going to try to match with you in the future. Men's value to women don't even come to bear until they are in their mid thirties or so...once they have established their career. Once that happens...women will chase you...especially foreign women. Young women in their twenties love men in their thirties...at least the ones who have their act together and can make a good living.
You don't envy women...you envied their relatively care free and stress free life...that is until they hit the wall in their thirties...and are without mates. Young women are catered to in our society. Young men have to struggle for the first thirty years of their lives to be able to be of worth to women. Women all have the safety net of marriage. They don't have to have a high paying career...a man has no such safety net. You also envied the way they get attention so easily...how so many young men want to talk with them.
Your brain is still forming...and math is a masculine brain specialty. Partially reforming your brain with female hormones will rob you of your unique gift. Notice the women who excel in math. They have more masculine traits...more masculine brains. You will lose your edge in math. There is much more to learn and explore...although you won't forget what you already know...future logical connections won't come so intuitively. Yes, there have been many good female mathematicians, however...all of the truly great mathematicians and scientists and engineers have been male. That is why the stem fields are flooded with males...besides females preferring to deal with people...and men with things or abstract ideas. Almost all of the important innovations have come from males. There is a reason for that...males excel in being able to visualize and manipulate objects in their minds.
Again, okay...you have depression. It needs pharmaceuticals to get to the root of the neurochemical imbalance. What you are being hoodwinked into is a pseudo psychotherapeutic diagnosis...and a hormonal "therapy" which doesn't deal with the true problem. No...you are depressed due to a chemical imbalance. There are antidepressants that can work wonders. My mother lost all of her anxiety with a once a day pill...fluoxetine...prozac.
Concentrate on your future. Do you feel a loss of all energy and motivation?
You are not seeing reality. Each of us must find what makes us happy...and then engineer our life to get the most time getting that happiness. I am most happy being alone...or just with family. I dislike most people...because I can see behind their facades. Most people do not have kind and giving hearts. Most people generate a false belief to hide behind...and then when they are faced with losing that faith...they have nothing left...but their bitterness and anger. Most people are shallow...except those of whom had suffered in their lives...or had been directly involved with someone who has suffered. Most play make believe in life...pretending that they are special...that their god will spare them some of the ugly events in life...just because they profess a certain belief. Once they get older...so many get envious and bitter. To have the knowledge too late, that they have never had special powers looking out for them...that they had lived a lie...had not truly loved life...but had instead...sought out a way to cheat death out of fear...or merely had wanted a social group to be part of...is to have regrets once life starts to fall apart as we age. Death comes to us all...but most never truly live for fear of it.
Your ultimate goal is to live with a purpose, which in turn gives a deep satisfaction in life. Spend some time alone in nature...look out upon a sunset and just let your mind wander. Learn to say...f it. Other people don't matter. There must come a time in life that you realize that unless you can make yourself happy...nothing can...or will. You have to love the path you tread in life...of a bright future...of so many great things in store for you. That one woman who steals your heart...the child you have who makes life even more magical. The magic of retirement when you may spend all of your time doing what pleases you most...chasing your passions.
Anyone can make up excuses in life...to not try...to be a rabbit safe in his den. To live life running from anxiety is not truly living. When you get your regular paychecks while building a retirement is freedom. Right now you don't have that. Know it is yet to come. Also know that negative feelings don't last....unless you believe they will. The easiest thing in the world is to think negatively. There is no disappointment because they live in a perpetual rut already. Of course you feel stressed out. I told you about taking on all the extra duties outside of your studies. Those who excel master focus. Concentrate on your goal...then allow some time just for yourself each day. Do what truly makes you happy. Think of yourself as being the only one on the planet. Yet...you had anything you wished for. What would you do that would make you the most happy? I never succumbed to negative thoughts because I knew that we may change our environment, situation, and surroundings...given time and directed focus towards the future we wish to create. I was, for 23 years...surrounded by some of the worst in society. Many drank or took drugs to deal with the stress. Me?... I exercised and kept the dream of retirement alive. I lived for the future. And when your mom and I married...and then later had you...I loved life even more. F other people...f the world. I would achieve my dreams. I would be happy in life. Yes...there was stress in my job. Yes...people cause the most stressful events in life. I mastered the ability to detach myself in life...to live in the world I would create...my future world that I knew I could make...slowly but surely. I knew that the people around me at that time were only a blip in life. I would not allow them to alter my path...no matter how so many attempted to have me sabotage myself through their provocations. I love life. I know you can as well. Nothing in our lives are permanent...especially negative feelings.
Remember...depression is common among Aspies. You are a handsome young man...especially now that you lost weight. Look at some of your pictures. You had always had romantic feelings for girls. This proves you are not wanting to be a girl. You wish to have a girl love you. Again...a man doesn't get much female attention until he makes something of his life. Once that happens...it is you who will get the attention. And it will continue throughout the rest of your life...as many single women get desperate from about thirty and beyond.
Again...that, so called therapist, is a thinly disguised feminist who is looking to press the extreme feminist agenda. They hate males...it is called penis envy. A marriage counselor...even a certified one...needs very little education. On top of this...she is merely a counselor...and a trainee at that.
[deadname]...what you greatly lack in life is experience. There is great evil in this world. Most people do not care about others...so many are extremely selfish. So many carry hatred in their hearts...as having someone or something else in life to blame for their own failures is far easier on their psyche. We are responsible for our own happiness. Although gender dysphoria is possibly...a real condition...it is exceedingly rare...and their are specific conditions which manifest themselves from infant hood. You had displayed none of those traits. What your "therapist" had done was to ask very general questions and or leading questions to get you to say something which she could then say was her certain and pre chosen "diagnosis". It is what con men do all the time."
Will this ever end.
What I didn't see from theearlier posts was that the whole thing was started by him writing a letter to his dad:
Here's the letter! (Spoilered.) Fingers crossed... 
Hi Dad, I have to tell you something that's really important and life-changing, and that's been building up inside of me for years and years, ever since middle school or even really before that, subconsciously and then getting worse and worse, more and more obvious, until I just couldn't take it anymore. I need to tell you this, and do something about it, in order to live the rest of my life at all, let alone a happy and successful one.
Remember how I mentioned that I was really depressed starting the last couple of months? What I'm going to tell you is the reason for that, but I want to go back to my middle school times first.
Back then, I remember having some thoughts that I was just...different from everyone else. I didn't know why or how, but it was already starting to get to me. Like I didn't belong, like I was being excluded, like no one ever noticed me or cared about me or even knew I was there. Do you remember that winter math camp in Las Vegas we went to that one time? When there were a bunch of kids there doing some physics activity, I went into the corner and cried. Not just because I didn't understand any physics like they did, but really because I felt alone, like I was almost some alien or someone who didn't "deserve" to be there because I was stupid or not worthy.
This included thinking about the world differently from how boys or guys seemed to think of it, and how they seemed to talk and behave, and the interests they seemed to share. I just...didn't feel like I fit in with them, or that I was one of them.
I just thought I was an introvert, like an extreme introvert, a hermit, and I thought nothing of it. I always just told myself that was who I was, that was my personality type, and I was maybe socially awkward, but I could work on it later and at least get better at dealing with my surroundings. I got better in later high school, and college, to where I could at least interact with people and make friends and deal with social situations. But I'll get back to this.
Around puberty, around when I started high school, I started getting a bit of a better idea of what this was, but of course I still didn't REALLY know the truth. I started getting more and more attracted to girls, and of course, we all just thought that was me becoming a teenager and falling in love with them, and having crushes that everyone has at that age. I never thought to put the two together, or that anything was even really wrong. And then when I looked at myself in the mirror, it started feeling less and less...right. Less like me. More like some stranger in the mirror, and I didn't want to believe it was me or my body. I felt like, and I still feel like, even more, that I'm ugly and "how can anyone even stand to LOOK at me or LISTEN to the sound of my voice? How can my parents even call me CUTE with a straight face?! That's so obviously not true!" That's the reason I hated being in any pictures, and I DEFINITELY didn't take any selfies of myself whatsoever. Now, again, I'm getting back to this later.
When I started at Berkeley, SOMETHING still didn't feel right. I thought graduating high school and finally starting to see myself grow up was going to end my confusion. I thought maybe I just looked like an awkward teenager and that I'd grow out of it. Well, I was wrong. If anything, I didn't seem to change physically AT ALL after around 14 or 15. Even now, I still look 14 or 15, and no one around me really disagrees with me. But at my orientation, I gave up on it after the first day (out of four) because I couldn't stand the exclusion and not fitting in with anybody, and I almost cried while tossing my milk cup in the trash. It was getting too much for me, but I didn't know what it was, even at 18, and I thought I just had to deal with it by escaping through my studies.
Well, escape I tried to do, at least until COVID hit. And then I was stuck with myself, nowhere to go and not even being able to enjoy a trip or a vacation or relax. The schoolwork was getting harder, and research was the toughest school-related thing I've ever had to do. Nothing I did ever felt like it was enough and I felt like I was trying to do the impossible. Every little thing would get nitpicked and I felt like there was no hope for me.
SOMETHING was making all of this much, much, much harder than it ever needed to be. But I was still in the dark. Totally clueless. WHAT was this thing that was killing me inside so much?? All I knew was, it was getting worse and worse and my classes were magically getting harder and harder, until the last semester when, that, whatever it is, plus grad apps, were just making it so hard to get through that I literally had to count down the days until the semester was over and I could graduate.
But FINALLY, all the worst was over. I graduated from one of the top schools in the world, and finally it was just time to sit back and relax...right?
Wrong. The thing, whatever it was, hadn't even started with me.
This year, the feelings kept building up, more and more and more, until they just...burst. And then I told my mom, and we've been trying to work on it, together, for the past six months.
Everything from the past suddenly made so much more sense, when I looked at it this way. My feelings about feeling and thinking and seeing the world "differently" from everyone else, especially boys or guys, my feelings toward girls, which were closer to envying them and wanting to BE them, than just a simple romantic attraction...
It all makes sense now. It turns out that I'm actually transgender.
What that means is, even though I was born as a boy, my brain has the uncontrollable urge to be and live as a woman, and not being able to present as one is giving me a life-threatening medical condition known as gender dysphoria.
I mentioned I was seeing a therapist for my depression (since March). I just got an official diagnosis from her for gender dysphoria a few days ago, and I put the letter here for you to read.
Basically, it's a neurochemical mismatch between what my brain expects (maybe caused by hormone levels and certain types of hormones flowing into the brain during pregnancy, but no one really knows for sure), what it's wired to expect, and how I actually look. This means that being trans wasn't a choice. It just happened, and it's who I was born as beyond my control.
It means that the way society treats me, from seeing me as a man, is entirely wrong to me, and trying to live with it has caused me so much accumulated stress and trauma and even mental instability that it's starting to ruin my life.
But when I even do something as simple as apply some makeup, or change my clothing to women's clothing, or imagine being called "she" instead of "he," suddenly some of the dark clouds are lifted. Not all, but some, enough to temporarily escape into a heavenly world. In those few moments, I never want to go back, and I feel (halfway) like the person I've always been on the inside. It feels right, it feels true and authentic to who I am and have always been, and I'm 100% sure that it's something that would be right for me.
Here's a link that helps a lot of people understand what gender dysphoria is and why it's such a big deal. [link to the GD Bible]
Part 2:
I know this is...such a big thing that's going to change my life forever. But the truth is, despite all the risks and challenges, it's either this, or...nothing. Either I do my best to transition according to the medical need of my brain wired that way from birth, or...it's possible I might literally be dead by suicide in two or three years, or even one year.
Without transitioning, I literally can't function. What dysphoria's doing to me now was unthinkable even a few months ago. My emotions (especially positive ones) are almost non-existent, since they're either just a blinding rage or complete numbness, I can barely get up to do things, I can't get any serious work done, my levels of self-hatred are at an all-time high and my self-esteem at an all-time low, I have panic attacks and full-blown mental breakdowns every 4-5 days, I can't even accidentally glimpse at any women in public without going through intense gender envy and feelings of hopelessness, coping techniques are getting harder and harder (even exercise, which used to work okay as a distraction, is starting to get less and less effective, and same with listening to music I used to love but now feel nothing when listening to), and my relationship with Mom is very, very complicated, because I've gotten in such a low and nasty mood that it's souring things between us. If it keeps up this way, there's a very high chance I would flunk out of grad school, because I can't focus or study or do anything, and ruin my entire future anyway, and that would only push me onto the edge of considering self-harm or suicide.
I know I need to avoid this, so transitioning is really my only option. I'm still taking time to adjust, myself.
I'm still attracted only to women, and not men at all, which is another thing that could put obstacles in my way, but again, to me, it's either this, or no future at all, and in the worst-case scenario, death.
I hope you can understand, and I would really love to have your love and support, like you've always given me, even if it does take a long time. Please feel free to let [relatives] know too.
I understand, and I get it. It can't be an easy thing to swallow. I'll give you all the time and space you need to think about and process all of this.
But you're my Dad, and I love you.
Hi Dad, I have to tell you something that's really important and life-changing, and that's been building up inside of me for years and years, ever since middle school or even really before that, subconsciously and then getting worse and worse, more and more obvious, until I just couldn't take it anymore. I need to tell you this, and do something about it, in order to live the rest of my life at all, let alone a happy and successful one.
Remember how I mentioned that I was really depressed starting the last couple of months? What I'm going to tell you is the reason for that, but I want to go back to my middle school times first.
Back then, I remember having some thoughts that I was just...different from everyone else. I didn't know why or how, but it was already starting to get to me. Like I didn't belong, like I was being excluded, like no one ever noticed me or cared about me or even knew I was there. Do you remember that winter math camp in Las Vegas we went to that one time? When there were a bunch of kids there doing some physics activity, I went into the corner and cried. Not just because I didn't understand any physics like they did, but really because I felt alone, like I was almost some alien or someone who didn't "deserve" to be there because I was stupid or not worthy.
This included thinking about the world differently from how boys or guys seemed to think of it, and how they seemed to talk and behave, and the interests they seemed to share. I just...didn't feel like I fit in with them, or that I was one of them.
I just thought I was an introvert, like an extreme introvert, a hermit, and I thought nothing of it. I always just told myself that was who I was, that was my personality type, and I was maybe socially awkward, but I could work on it later and at least get better at dealing with my surroundings. I got better in later high school, and college, to where I could at least interact with people and make friends and deal with social situations. But I'll get back to this.
Around puberty, around when I started high school, I started getting a bit of a better idea of what this was, but of course I still didn't REALLY know the truth. I started getting more and more attracted to girls, and of course, we all just thought that was me becoming a teenager and falling in love with them, and having crushes that everyone has at that age. I never thought to put the two together, or that anything was even really wrong. And then when I looked at myself in the mirror, it started feeling less and less...right. Less like me. More like some stranger in the mirror, and I didn't want to believe it was me or my body. I felt like, and I still feel like, even more, that I'm ugly and "how can anyone even stand to LOOK at me or LISTEN to the sound of my voice? How can my parents even call me CUTE with a straight face?! That's so obviously not true!" That's the reason I hated being in any pictures, and I DEFINITELY didn't take any selfies of myself whatsoever. Now, again, I'm getting back to this later.
When I started at Berkeley, SOMETHING still didn't feel right. I thought graduating high school and finally starting to see myself grow up was going to end my confusion. I thought maybe I just looked like an awkward teenager and that I'd grow out of it. Well, I was wrong. If anything, I didn't seem to change physically AT ALL after around 14 or 15. Even now, I still look 14 or 15, and no one around me really disagrees with me. But at my orientation, I gave up on it after the first day (out of four) because I couldn't stand the exclusion and not fitting in with anybody, and I almost cried while tossing my milk cup in the trash. It was getting too much for me, but I didn't know what it was, even at 18, and I thought I just had to deal with it by escaping through my studies.
Well, escape I tried to do, at least until COVID hit. And then I was stuck with myself, nowhere to go and not even being able to enjoy a trip or a vacation or relax. The schoolwork was getting harder, and research was the toughest school-related thing I've ever had to do. Nothing I did ever felt like it was enough and I felt like I was trying to do the impossible. Every little thing would get nitpicked and I felt like there was no hope for me.
SOMETHING was making all of this much, much, much harder than it ever needed to be. But I was still in the dark. Totally clueless. WHAT was this thing that was killing me inside so much?? All I knew was, it was getting worse and worse and my classes were magically getting harder and harder, until the last semester when, that, whatever it is, plus grad apps, were just making it so hard to get through that I literally had to count down the days until the semester was over and I could graduate.
But FINALLY, all the worst was over. I graduated from one of the top schools in the world, and finally it was just time to sit back and relax...right?
Wrong. The thing, whatever it was, hadn't even started with me.
This year, the feelings kept building up, more and more and more, until they just...burst. And then I told my mom, and we've been trying to work on it, together, for the past six months.
Everything from the past suddenly made so much more sense, when I looked at it this way. My feelings about feeling and thinking and seeing the world "differently" from everyone else, especially boys or guys, my feelings toward girls, which were closer to envying them and wanting to BE them, than just a simple romantic attraction...
It all makes sense now. It turns out that I'm actually transgender.
What that means is, even though I was born as a boy, my brain has the uncontrollable urge to be and live as a woman, and not being able to present as one is giving me a life-threatening medical condition known as gender dysphoria.
I mentioned I was seeing a therapist for my depression (since March). I just got an official diagnosis from her for gender dysphoria a few days ago, and I put the letter here for you to read.
Basically, it's a neurochemical mismatch between what my brain expects (maybe caused by hormone levels and certain types of hormones flowing into the brain during pregnancy, but no one really knows for sure), what it's wired to expect, and how I actually look. This means that being trans wasn't a choice. It just happened, and it's who I was born as beyond my control.
It means that the way society treats me, from seeing me as a man, is entirely wrong to me, and trying to live with it has caused me so much accumulated stress and trauma and even mental instability that it's starting to ruin my life.
But when I even do something as simple as apply some makeup, or change my clothing to women's clothing, or imagine being called "she" instead of "he," suddenly some of the dark clouds are lifted. Not all, but some, enough to temporarily escape into a heavenly world. In those few moments, I never want to go back, and I feel (halfway) like the person I've always been on the inside. It feels right, it feels true and authentic to who I am and have always been, and I'm 100% sure that it's something that would be right for me.
Here's a link that helps a lot of people understand what gender dysphoria is and why it's such a big deal. [link to the GD Bible]
Part 2:
I know this is...such a big thing that's going to change my life forever. But the truth is, despite all the risks and challenges, it's either this, or...nothing. Either I do my best to transition according to the medical need of my brain wired that way from birth, or...it's possible I might literally be dead by suicide in two or three years, or even one year.
Without transitioning, I literally can't function. What dysphoria's doing to me now was unthinkable even a few months ago. My emotions (especially positive ones) are almost non-existent, since they're either just a blinding rage or complete numbness, I can barely get up to do things, I can't get any serious work done, my levels of self-hatred are at an all-time high and my self-esteem at an all-time low, I have panic attacks and full-blown mental breakdowns every 4-5 days, I can't even accidentally glimpse at any women in public without going through intense gender envy and feelings of hopelessness, coping techniques are getting harder and harder (even exercise, which used to work okay as a distraction, is starting to get less and less effective, and same with listening to music I used to love but now feel nothing when listening to), and my relationship with Mom is very, very complicated, because I've gotten in such a low and nasty mood that it's souring things between us. If it keeps up this way, there's a very high chance I would flunk out of grad school, because I can't focus or study or do anything, and ruin my entire future anyway, and that would only push me onto the edge of considering self-harm or suicide.
I know I need to avoid this, so transitioning is really my only option. I'm still taking time to adjust, myself.
I'm still attracted only to women, and not men at all, which is another thing that could put obstacles in my way, but again, to me, it's either this, or no future at all, and in the worst-case scenario, death.
I hope you can understand, and I would really love to have your love and support, like you've always given me, even if it does take a long time. Please feel free to let [relatives] know too.
I understand, and I get it. It can't be an easy thing to swallow. I'll give you all the time and space you need to think about and process all of this.
But you're my Dad, and I love you.
From what I can get from the reddit profile it seems like mum and dad are asian, separated and that mom and son live together on dad's income as alimony. The mom knew of his transition and was fine with it until dad told her that trannies kill themselves:
Which is then at the point psycho in the post told his mom yeah but im gonna offmyself if I don't get HRT anyway soo..
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2023
I was always under the impression that she went into it as a radical feminist that wanted to confirm her bias that men "have it easier".
If my understanding of it was incorrect, I may have made the assumption because butch dykes are often of that man-hating persuasion. Regardless, she will always have my respect for being completely honest about the male experience.
CEO of Posting
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2020
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2023
That little voice inside you is your conscious / guardian angel / God trying to save your stupid ass from acting a fool
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2018
I never believe a troon's version of events at first glance. But pooners especially love writing fan fiction about their lives, much like they do about their media obsessions. They at the very least love exaggerating every detail to make every situation as dramatic and victimising as possible.
I don't think I've fully believed a random troon story since the girl who went to a gay orgy as a pre-everything and ended up crying in the bathroom for an hour because, surprise, they weren't there too fuck women.
- Joined
- Apr 6, 2022
Troon is mad that mother won't let it rape her daughter
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2018
Was this the one who was basically being groomed and the mother found out some weirdo tranny was trying to get nudes of her online?
FAT&HARAM
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2023
I also think this pooner overexaggerated her version or this is plain fantasy from someone looking to pass (they totally thought I was a man, you guys). But even if the "massive guy" really reacted that way, they entered his house without being invited, and I do not believe for a second the story of his friends "pushing them in". People have every right of not wanting gross trannies in their homes.
I don't know a single man who wants to have a pooner in their group when hanging out. They talk like an AI trying to mimic men from Reddit stereotypes and they are, in general, joyless retards.
I also found amusing the mention of muscle growth. None of them would ever grow enough muscle to be able to withstand an actual fight no matter how much T they pump into their body.
TLDR: she will never be a man.
TERF now is anyone who prevents trannies from grooming children?
These people deserve all the hate they get.
Edit: making it more readable (English is hard)
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2022
