Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

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He was responding with this to comments that had nothing to do with his response for an hour yesterday.
I think that's due to nitter, I noticed what happens is that in linking directly to pat's "no stalker wrong again" tweet the original tweet he's replying too is hidden but if you go to the patposter's profile and click his "tweets/replies" you can find the original comment with pat's response. The initial view makes it look like Pat is replying to a tweet above and not a patposter.

This mostly applies to patposter replying to non-patposters/trolls that Patrick doesn't know in order to spread his criminal past into the awareness of the non-patposter. Its pretty funny as it can lead to the interactions with patrick turning the non-patposter into a fellow patposter.
 
"Enjoy prison, stalker" really is his reflex response when he's seething and can't think of anything to say. You know when you've stuck the pig when you get this response:
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Look at him, he's flailing lmao:
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But remember, Pat needs Twitter/X for his book sales! Because attacking fellow authors and publishing houses is definitely what an author should do.
 
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— from “Starship Repo”
God-damn. That could, conceivably, have actually been a decent joke if the prose painfully manoeuvring it into position didn't resemble a railroad switcher heaving heavy freight cars around a yard. Pat has admitted that he's trying to sound like Douglas Adams, but Pat's problem (well, let's face it, one of Pat's many, many problems) is that the story he's trying to tell is too serious for the kind of Pythonesque/Terry Gilliam tone that a joke like that needs to sit in. Pat's sci-fi is too "hard" and it's trying to tell a serious space story as well as being dumb, rather than something like HTGTTG which is a wacky adventure story whose only real purpose is to form a framework to attach jokes to.

That's not the only way he hasn't paid enough attention to Douglas Adams. That joke either needs to be told by the narrator or be nested in much snappier dialogue that's not so fucking wordy. I'm no Douglas Adams (no-one is), but how about:

---

"Name?" asked Pelax. Her shoulders slumped with the weight of bureaucratic inevitability.
"Firstname Lastname" she mumbled, staring at the floor.
The creature raised three of its eyebrows.
"Firstname," it sighed, "Lastname?"
"Data entry error," she quietly informed the linoleum. She had been assured back on Porklinson Station that it would be corrected in due course. That really was a long time ago, though. And the way that assurance had been delivered between peals of laughter wasn't even all that encouraging at the time.
The creature paused, then passed her documents into the authenticator.
"I see. Well you're the only human here so nobody is likely to get confused." Pelax peered over his office balcony at the milling throng below. "No more confused than normal, at any rate."
 
Presented without comment:
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I will say though- "pretend to be something you aren't" really belies how Pat views that sacred blue checkmark. He seems to think current owners of it don't "deserve" it (it was essentially a title of nobility for scumbags like Pat who think they are elites, bestowed upon them by King Twitter).
He is fucking seething about Twitter and how much it has changed and how he lost his special little badge. It's all about how others see him, which is weird that he regularly makes a fool of himself online.
 
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I think that's due to nitter, I noticed what happens is that in linking directly to pat's "no stalker wrong again" tweet the original tweet he's replying too is hidden but if you go to the patposter's profile and click his "tweets/replies" you can find the original comment with pat's response. The initial view makes it look like Pat is replying to a tweet above and not a patposter.

This mostly applies to patposter replying to non-patposters/trolls that Patrick doesn't know in order to spread his criminal past into the awareness of the non-patposter. Its pretty funny as it can lead to the interactions with patrick turning the non-patposter into a fellow patposter.
Perhaps Fat gets a dollar every time someone hates him?
 
"Enjoy prison, stalker" really is his reflex response when he's seething and can't think of anything to say. You know when you've stuck the pig when you get this response:
View attachment 5331770

Look at him, he's flailing lmao:
View attachment 5331780
View attachment 5331792
But remember, Pat needs Twitter/X for his book sales! Because attacking fellow authors and publishing houses is definitely what an author should do.
"Zarbon Zomlinson" is such a rib-shatterer. My favourite atalker nick, next to "Toiletson". Honourable mention to Bert Bertlinson and Nig Niggerson.
 
Nearly every time I see Pat trying to interact with actual people, his behavior reminds me of something; unfortunately, it always stood tantalizingly at the tip of my tongue, but never any further than that. Today, thanks to a Wikipedia rabbit hole I fell into, it got the final push into the light: except for the positive/redeeming traits, Pat is a male, fat, somehow less masculine Peggy Hill.
 
thanks to Prison Enjoyer for sharing some of the best patrickisms from behind bars.

probably the most interesting one here is where he says his brother will be there for the stalker child's trial and sentencing. is that the first time he's acknowledged he has a brother?



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"Trlurn yourself it, now."
That's a good one.
 
thanks to Prison Enjoyer for sharing some of the best patrickisms from behind bars.

probably the most interesting one here is where he says his brother will be there for the stalker child's trial and sentencing. is that the first time he's acknowledged he has a brother?



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Great collection.
Just try and quote to someone, without context, "You are not me, stalker. Enjoy prison." , or "You are not a toilet, stalker." and see what they make of it.

Those statements are like schizoid rants of the crackhead hobo that hangs around outside the train station.
 
I think it's important on this day to leave the last word on Rick to the big man himself.

View attachment 5331619
How I wish Norm was still around. Imagine what he'd say about Fatty's rage-oinking up to this point. Fuck, how many ribs would be destroyed if by some magic we could get Norm and Patrice O'Neal on a podcast talking about Patricia?
God-damn. That could, conceivably, have actually been a decent joke if the prose painfully manoeuvring it into position didn't resemble a railroad switcher heaving heavy freight cars around a yard. Pat has admitted that he's trying to sound like Douglas Adams, but Pat's problem (well, let's face it, one of Pat's many, many problems) is that the story he's trying to tell is too serious for the kind of Pythonesque/Terry Gilliam tone that a joke like that needs to sit in. Pat's sci-fi is too "hard" and it's trying to tell a serious space story as well as being dumb, rather than something like HTGTTG which is a wacky adventure story whose only real purpose is to form a framework to attach jokes to.

That's not the only way he hasn't paid enough attention to Douglas Adams. That joke either needs to be told by the narrator or be nested in much snappier dialogue that's not so fucking wordy. I'm no Douglas Adams (no-one is), but how about:

---

"Name?" asked Pelax. Her shoulders slumped with the weight of bureaucratic inevitability.
"Firstname Lastname" she mumbled, staring at the floor.
The creature raised three of its eyebrows.
"Firstname," it sighed, "Lastname?"
"Data entry error," she quietly informed the linoleum. She had been assured back on Porklinson Station that it would be corrected in due course. That really was a long time ago, though. And the way that assurance had been delivered between peals of laughter wasn't even all that encouraging at the time.
The creature paused, then passed her documents into the authenticator.
"I see. Well you're the only human here so nobody is likely to get confused." Pelax peered over his office balcony at the milling throng below. "No more confused than normal, at any rate."
I thought mine was more tonally appropriate, but yours is superior in all other ways. Guess I'll be reporting to prison now :(
thanks to Prison Enjoyer for sharing some of the best patrickisms from behind bars.

probably the most interesting one here is where he says his brother will be there for the stalker child's trial and sentencing. is that the first time he's acknowledged he has a brother?



View attachment 5331993View attachment 5331994View attachment 5331995View attachment 5331996View attachment 5331997View attachment 5331998View attachment 5331999
You can tell when xeets start to get under his pigskin because he starts to fat-trotter more and more words.
 
God-damn. That could, conceivably, have actually been a decent joke if the prose painfully manoeuvring it into position didn't resemble a railroad switcher heaving heavy freight cars around a yard. Pat has admitted that he's trying to sound like Douglas Adams, but Pat's problem (well, let's face it, one of Pat's many, many problems) is that the story he's trying to tell is too serious for the kind of Pythonesque/Terry Gilliam tone that a joke like that needs to sit in. Pat's sci-fi is too "hard" and it's trying to tell a serious space story as well as being dumb, rather than something like HTGTTG which is a wacky adventure story whose only real purpose is to form a framework to attach jokes to.

That's not the only way he hasn't paid enough attention to Douglas Adams. That joke either needs to be told by the narrator or be nested in much snappier dialogue that's not so fucking wordy. I'm no Douglas Adams (no-one is), but how about:

---

"Name?" asked Pelax. Her shoulders slumped with the weight of bureaucratic inevitability.
"Firstname Lastname" she mumbled, staring at the floor.
The creature raised three of its eyebrows.
"Firstname," it sighed, "Lastname?"
"Data entry error," she quietly informed the linoleum. She had been assured back on Porklinson Station that it would be corrected in due course. That really was a long time ago, though. And the way that assurance had been delivered between peals of laughter wasn't even all that encouraging at the time.
The creature paused, then passed her documents into the authenticator.
"I see. Well you're the only human here so nobody is likely to get confused." Pelax peered over his office balcony at the milling throng below. "No more confused than normal, at any rate."
Having been an Adams fan for a long time, this isn't a bad styling. I suspect Adams would gleefully seize on the absurdity of it (he often made reference to obstructive or incompetent bureaucracies in his books).
 
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