Here are estimates the calories of Evie's supposedly-typical day. This is obviously very rough, and it involves a lot of guesswork.
Jimmy Dean microwave sausage biscuit: 320 each (I chose Polissa's favorite brand); there is also a "snack size" that is 340 calories for 2 biscuits-- I don't know what she means by "those small ones you microwave"
8 oz orange juice: 120
Cinnamon raisin swirl bread, Pepperidge Farm: 90 calories/slice
Nutella: 80 calories for a 15 g serving (no idea how much Nutella goes on a sandwich, let alone how much Evie would use)
Banana: approximately 105 calories for a medium banana
Water: 0
Salad: 10 calories per cup of iceberg lettuce (Evie seems like an iceberg lettuce person), but she doesn't actually mention the salad size or the toppings and dressing that I'm quite sure she adds
Spaghetti and meatballs: estimates range from 220-850 calories (and, again there's no telling what she calls "a bowl" or what's actually in the spaghetti)
Coke Zero: 0
Klondike square bar: 250 calories for the standard bar
That's obviously far, far less than she actually eats, and there's a lot of information missing when you try to break it down. I do think she's lying intentionally about what she actually eats, but I wonder if she's also accidentally lowballing because she doesn't pay attention to what goes on the salad, a soup bowl vs a serving bowl, how much juice she's drinking, that kind of thing. She's not very bright, so it's probably some of both.
I know we all know she's lying and being wildly inaccurate in calculating what she eats, but it's still interesting to break it down. And now I've put far more time and thought into Evie's caloric intake than she ever has or ever will.
