Powerleveling here a bit but I’m frustrated and want to rant.
I have no clue if it has to do with me having a more passive personality, or whether my personal issues are more obvious than I think they are and men seeing and taking advantage of them, or if I’m just a magnet for the most deranged people in general, but I swear males take their emotions out on women in a way that they don't do with other men. Does it have anything to do with them being socialised to not talk about/show emotions (assuming they even have them in the first place lol) otherwise they'd be considered a faggot by other men? I swear nearly all my interactions with men have been negative, it’s either some pest with a Madonna-whore complex using me as a sexual punching bag, one of my gay "friends" using me as an emotional punching bag after a while of knowing them and I don't know how to tell them to fuck off properly without them causing even bigger problems for me (especially the fags)
I don't know the answer to your conundrum, but I'm going to hard-encourage you to take the information you have - about your tendencies and what kind of people enter your life and exploit it - and to take control of yourself and your life. That means self-reflection, therapy, changing
you so that you are no longer a mark and/or don't allow exploitative or unhealthy people to be in your life, nor are you confused about setting the right boundaries.
Take it or leave it, but if that's a pattern you have already picked up on, you'll be far better served figuring out your own piece of it, the sooner the better.
Maybe with MtF, but not with FtM. When I was a kid in the 2000's there were FtM people in my class. At the time, it was more about rejecting gender norms because the idea of the wage gap, pink tax, and having to be in a straight relationship sucked. None of them wanted to be girls because being a woman in society at that time was like biting onto the muzzle of shotgun. You were expected to grow up to be the loser's little wifey, become basically your husband's new mother, get beat after football games, and have sex with a man regardless of your consent. For FtMs abandoning femininity was a kind of freedom, it's tragic that it's freedom from a system made by men to become men, though.
None of that explains "then I'm just not a girl," though. I was a kid in the 70s and 80s; "women's lib"/human rights/feminism as a mass movement had been around for decades by the time I was in high school, but it was miles and miles from basic assumptions of today (today's mode being both more positive while also, in some corners, more regressive and reactionary-to-demented). But the institutional issues - wage gap, pink tax, rape and sexual assault, getting "little missie" 'd by bosses and colleagues, being excluded or underestimated because girl, snide comments about when you're quitting work now that you're pregnant, all that shit - were much worse than today.
And yet none of that made girls in my "kid" days announce they aren't girls (at least not past the age of
.
Eschew femininity, maybe. But virtually no one actually said "I AM A BOY." Much less then required everyone to pretend they had witnessed a gender-based, real-life Pinocchio story. So, I have to disagree that any of this really has to do with discrimination against women, the supposed terror girls feel when developing physically into young women, or the orientation of the world to diminish women as a class or individually.
The current mode is extreme and hysterical. "Stereotypes don't fit me perfectly, so instead of living my life as I see fit I'd better give up altogether, require you to join me in my disorder, and also yeah, now I've changed my molecular structure!" is pure lunacy.
The truth is, other than the toxicity and bitter anger of some voices on the internet, the barriers to a productive life are no worse than they've ever been, and better in many regards. There are fewer institutional barriers (though they absolutely persist, in some very entrenched and disappointing /damaging ways),
but and the greatest
problem distraction now is societal - the confluence of fragility/lack of resilience and independence; hyper-awareness of what everyone else is doing; and seeming inability to stiff-upper-lip anything is a very corroding combination. Not to mention social media making every idiot think that every half-baked flight of undereducated fancy deserves to be broadcast to the entire world...and people take that shit seriously!
Current thought needs a lead-weight dose of stoicism and independence, along with a simultaneous de-escalation in extreme and violent-imaged rhetoric either believed sincerely or used to make cheap political points.
can’t just drink white wine he’s gotta have Sancerre.
I didn't read the rest of this because I don't and have never read romance novels or the tripe that EL James or the others you mentioned write, but
Sancerre is the GOAT* and you should appreciate it.
*and there's a very foodie-nerdy joke/association to be made about GOAT because goat cheese, which is a bfd in the Sancerre region, specifically crottins de chavignol, which despite the awful name are God's gift and I could go on but won't
