🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Some Dumb Faggot]

“Ethan, your addiction has fueled the success of my website in the following ways. . .”

Some people say nobody would show up, but I disagree. Dick, Vito, Nick and Rekieta would gladly show up to make fun of Ralph for clout. Their speeches would probably be incredibly passive aggressive.

 

[break these cuffs]

Ralph's little comment about the child's name change seems to impart a fictitious reality where he thinks he his ever going to have anything to do with these kids ever again.

Ralph, they are gone. For all intents and purposes as gone as your dead mother. Those delusions you have of reconciliation are pure Science Fiction. You pretty much died in a car wreck will be the story they will be raised on.

You have been erased from their lives. You are being ERASED.

I doubt this will ever be the case for Xannie. The entire Vickers clan is obsessed with a-logging Ralph. It is literally a family affair with mother, father, daughter, and two sons that we know of. Young kids are interesting in you can quite easily trick them and then underestimate how perceptive they are. Pretty sure I've told this story before in relation to notion that Xander will never know about Ralph, but I'll say it again. The ex-wife of a good friend is a deadbeat mom. She abandoned him and their two year old son. For the for first year to year and a half after we didn't talk about her around the kid. I began seeing my buddy less and less as a busy single dad and the ex's crazy ramped up so eventually I began getting updates about her with his son around. It took maybe 6 months before he picked up that if we were talking negatively about a woman and the conversation involved drugs, jail, etc that we were talking about his mom. I distinctly remember getting on the road for a fishing trip and his son asking "Are you talking about my mom?".

We never said her name in our conversations, but I'm sure it did crop up with other friends or family despite my friend's efforts to shield his son from mom's bullshit. The kid wasn't even 4. At best Xander will grow up hearing vague references to his piece of shit dad and whatever else he will pick up when nobody thinks he can hear them. I think it most likely that will give way to unhinged rants from gramps and sit down talks about how his dad is hurting his mom regarding court and shit. Multiple people in the family are engaged in lolsuits with Ralph. Xander's grandparents do a weekly podcast about how much they hate his dad. A shirt with his dad's blood on it is framed and hung up in the house Xander is growing up in. The Vickers theme holiday decorations around Ralph.

People who don't think Xander is going to know about Ralph are delusional.

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

Pretty sure the name change purging from EOR was about Rozy.

 

[Not Even Twice]

Why does Ralph’s voice sound so squeaky and nasal now?

Man I was just thinking that voice is even squeakier than what I recall. It's been a long time since I heard Ralph speak (his voice is like nails on a chalkboard to me most of the time) so I wasn't sure if I simply made his voice sound deeper in my memory since no adult male should sound like that.

 

[Punished Puck]

Ralph being sober is like an angel losing its wings

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Pretty sure the name change purging from EOR was about Rozy.

Of course it is. Xander has always been a Vickers. Sadly May was still under some bizarre delusion about Gunt playing daddy when Rozy was born. Rozy she was saddled with the Ralph surname, even if May wasn’t. Ralph wanted show ownership by naming his daughter after his current streaming platform, his mom and Ronnie’s proud name. Then he proceeded to totally ignore her and let May do the 24/7 child care.

They need to correct the spelling of Rozanne to Roseanne, so they won’t have to explain her name was purposely misspelled because Gunt wanted to brown nose a gay Mexican catboy.

Get rid of Sandra as a middle name, because it’s awful. Roseanne Sandra sounds like a 1970’s SNL skit. Jolene is pretty cool name and Jolene will be the grandma that matters in her life, not a dead woman her deadbeat bio-dad wouldn’t even drive to dialysis. Whatever was Harry’s mom’s name could work too.

Obviously get rid of the Ralph surname.

Ralph tried to stamp his gunty trotters all over his daughters legal name. This is fine if one intends to actually be a father, but Ralph will just be some abusive sperm donor. Rozy will wonder why her name doesn’t tie her to her family, but is all related to some stranger.

Roseanne Jo Morris is fine name, trad even, not a curse like Rozeanne Sandra Ralph

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

Ralph tried to stamp his gunty trotters all over his daughters legal name. Roseanne Jo Morris is fine name, trad even, not a curse like Rozeanne Sandra Ralph

You have to admit though, Cozy Rozy Sandra Ralph is a far better name than Mikitusu-Chan Ichiii-San Senpai Japan Morris, or whatever Amanda would've named her.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

It's so fucking funny Ralph had kids out of spite to own Null because he has a legacy now and Null is childless but none of Ralphs kids will grow up with the Ralph name or knowing him at all. If anything all they will know was he was an obese drunk who abandoned them to go live in Mexico. Whatever legacy Ralph could have had with his kids it totally gone. They might genetically be his but they will never love or care about him. He's basically a sperm donor.

 

[Um...]

4 tweets/retweets dissing Mr. Feets favourite football team on piggys twitter now. Very weak, but what can you expect from bpd pig?

He’s been seething ever since Harry publicly humiliated him (again) by posting his pathetic ‘I-I think I have BPD!’ groveling on Twitter but he doesn’t dare attack Harry back (much as he wants to) because he’s scurred, so all he can do is gloat about Harry’s team losing.

Pathetic fat little manlet.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Ralph being sober is like an angel losing its wings

How would we know? He’s never sobered up.

 

[Pelican Bones]

1. Roseanne Sandra Ralph -> Adrienne Faith Augustine
2. Ralph stuffs himself into a giant cannon and fires himself into the Gulf of Mexico
3. I laugh

 

[alan thicke]

Roseanne Jo Morris is fine name, trad even, not a curse like Rozeanne Sandra Ralph

It would be funny if that was already her legal name from the jump. Ralph wasn't there for the birth, fuck does he know about what's written on the birth certificate.

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

He’s been seething ever since Harry publicly humiliated him (again) by posting his pathetic ‘I-I think I have BPD!’ groveling on Twitter but he doesn’t dare attack Harry back (much as he wants to) because he’s scurred, so all he can do is gloat about Harry’s team losing.

Pathetic fat little manlet.

Don’t forget the weak AF ”Harry got sleep apnea!” reveal. Which is probably all EOR got on him.

 

[Obscura539]

It's so fucking funny Ralph had kids out of spite to own Null because he has a legacy now and Null is childless but none of Ralphs kids will grow up with the Ralph name or knowing him at all. If anything all they will know was he was an obese drunk who abandoned them to go live in Mexico. Whatever legacy Ralph could have had with his kids it totally gone. They might genetically be his but they will never love or care about him. He's basically a sperm donor.

I would argue he is far worse than any sperm donor. The likelihood of Ralph living to see what sort of people his children become is abysmal. The legacy he leaves them is a horrific epic that the internet had chosen to preserve. All the photos and videos showing his bizarre physique, his hilariously small penis, his drunken rants, his bitchy little messages.

He is the worst thing that can happen to child. They would consider never remembering him to be a blessing.

 

[MadStan]

It's so fucking funny Ralph had kids out of spite to own Null because he has a legacy now and Null is childless but none of Ralphs kids will grow up with the Ralph name or knowing him at all. If anything all they will know was he was an obese drunk who abandoned them to go live in Mexico. Whatever legacy Ralph could have had with his kids it totally gone. They might genetically be his but they will never love or care about him. He's basically a sperm donor.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I would argue he is far worse than any sperm donor. The likelihood of Ralph living to see what sort of people his children become is abysmal. The legacy he leaves them is a horrific epic that the internet had chosen to preserve. All the photos and videos showing his bizarre physique, his hilariously small penis, his drunken rants, his bitchy little messages.

He is the worst thing that can happen to child. They would consider never remembering him to be a blessing.

An anonymous sperm donor would be x10 superior to knowing Ralph was your sperm donor and, even worse, your mother willingly had sex with him.

Of course I’m being very optimistic that Faith and May turn into semi-normal, respectable moms. If not then discovering Ralph will just be realizing their dad was just the very bottom of the dick dirt pile mom has been digging in for years.

 

[UCantCCPMe]

Of course it is. Xander has always been a Vickers. Sadly May was still under some bizarre delusion about Gunt playing daddy when Rozy was born. Rozy she was saddled with the Ralph surname, even if May wasn’t. Ralph wanted show ownership by naming his daughter after his current streaming platform, his mom and Ronnie’s proud name. Then he proceeded to totally ignore her and let May do the 24/7 child care.

They need to correct the spelling of Rozanne to Roseanne, so they won’t have to explain her name was purposely misspelled because Gunt wanted to brown nose a gay Mexican catboy.

Get rid of Sandra as a middle name, because it’s awful. Roseanne Sandra sounds like a 1970’s SNL skit. Jolene is pretty cool name and Jolene will be the grandma that matters in her life, not a dead woman her deadbeat bio-dad wouldn’t even drive to dialysis. Whatever was Harry’s mom’s name could work too.

Obviously get rid of the Ralph surname.

Ralph tried to stamp his gunty trotters all over his daughters legal name. This is fine if one intends to actually be a father, but Ralph will just be some abusive sperm donor. Rozy will wonder why her name doesn’t tie her to her family, but is all related to some stranger.

Roseanne Jo Morris is fine name, trad even, not a curse like Rozeanne Sandra Ralph

In other words, you want Pantsu to change the name that her daddy gave her.

That would be a nice bit of sand in Ralph's taint. For his words to once again boomerang back around and hit him right in his piggy ass.

 

[MadStan]

All you go to do is keep Ralph out of the kids life for the first 10 years, Ralph will be dead by then. Probably sooner.

To Ralph, the subject of kids is of course, all too real because it occupies his mind often - there are R.O.s, court matters and child support. I'm sure every day he spends a great deal of time thinking about them. But he is confused as to where he really stands.

What Ralph has to come to terms with is back in the homes where his children are, they are being raised by other adults, enjoying life, forming bonds with the grandparents and will frankly, have closer ties with babysitters or the neighbors than they ever will with Ralph. Ralph is not even a memory in the children's minds to be replayed. He is a nobody. In Ralph's demented, TV packed, white trash mind he envisions some day himself as a new man rolling up to a house and a little child comes running up to him, with embraces and a "Daddy I love you!!!". Ralphs hopes are gossamer threads. That will never happen. Ever.

He isn't discussed, he isn't seen, and moreover, he isn't thought about at all except by the guardians of the poor mothers and their children who ensure the barrier is up so he can't filth their lives. As a parent you are truly dead to your kids when you don't even cross their minds, and they never think of Ralph. Blippy on the iPad is more real to them, gets a smile from them and arguably, a better father. Certainly Blippy's videos are OK for kids, can you imagine watching a rage pig on the killstream and say "Thats your daddy, isn't he a nice guy?".

They are very real to Ralph, but to them, he doesn't even exist. If he ever does get to see them, it is so brief it is more akin to visiting a mental patient in a Sanitarium where the kid has to see this weirdo who is unusually nice, all the while being watched like a hawk because he is a danger and must be supervised.

"I saw a fat dwarf today that gave me a toy" is about as much as he will ever amount to in terms of a memory, on par with a gift from a freak at the circus. There are kids out there with daddy's in prison that have better family dynamics than Ralph. The only "Daddy I love you" he is going to hear is from the Gimp in Mexico he pays - Or Nick Fuentes.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Blippy on the iPad is more real to them, gets a smile from them and arguably, a better father

Goddamn, this is one of the most hilariously cruel posts I’ve ever read on this site.

And yet you’re still going pretty easy on him!

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

Those two kids would be better off with Harambe in an enclosure than a supervised visit with The Gunt.