Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Falcon Sebben]

Exactly. Jack CANNOT hide being angy any more than he can hide the slightest physical exertion. He lies freely and readily for asspats. We've seen the video of him openly waddling at that cookout years ago, his mobility is absolutely much worse now.

That was so funny because he had been trying for the longest time to hide his lack of mobility.

 

[Tiresome]

He has Returned.

 

[rubytintedchix]

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Did Jack mini-stroke again? His left half seems like it was moving less in the intro.

Is this the same recorded intro from the beginning of last week’s JOTG? It seems to be.

I’m wondering if we’re going to get these pre-recorded intros on JOTG’s for the next few weeks similar to the opening to the Atlanta burger wars (I think) tour where he pre-recorded the thank you to Jumbo & Delicious and played it at the beginning of each video in the series. I’m sure there’s a reason for him doing this, but I’m not sure what. ::stroke brain::

Selling merch before Christmas? Promoting JCC Designs (probably another tax dodge invented by Tammy)? I really do not know.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

He has Returned.

I'm proudly part of the Rob Mob. The intro music is very soothing unlike that jarring, childish horseshit from Jack.

 

[ZipDisk]

The water is a massive flex.
Rob describing all the flavors and textures is another massive contrast. Kind of ironic Jack went to the sandwich shop with a burning throat, and Rob went to burger king for a burning experience.

"I hope you're having a good day" is a much better sign off than "Welcome to costco, I love you".

 

[bile demon]

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Good to see all those hours spent in the gym being finally put to good use.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

There's really nothing like a well-stocked bodega with a great beer selection and a decent deli, but this place ain't it. Anyway Jack is sketched out because he thinks this kind of place caters too much to minorities.

I love how Tammy is so fed up with Jack's nonsense that she hauls ass out of the store hoping to leave Jack behind.

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(Don't look at the fat crippled guy filming us...)

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(Make yourself busy, don't look at the fat guy...)

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(OH SHIT!)

 

[Sonic T]

Calm down fatty, the doctor only said that because he doesn't know what else to do for you.

 

[Whaler]

Good to see all those hours spent in the gym being finally put to good use.

Dude needs to start brushing his beard so it doesn't look a mound of pubes were stuck to his face.

 

[Tiresome]

Only conjecture, since I haven't watched the surely dozens of YouTube reviews of the ghost pepper chicken fries, but I wonder if Rob has actually watched John Jurasek's video since his seemed to be dry and hard like Rob mentioned of the review he saw. That would be a nice intersection of two low-key icons.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Calm down fatty, the doctor only said that because he doesn't know what else to do for you.

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So that, and a cheeseburger, is all it takes for Jagoff to be happy.

 

[DontEatThat_2.0]

Calm down fatty, the doctor only said that because he doesn't know what else to do for you.

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What really happened:

Jacks doctor tells him his diet is slowly pulling him to an early grave as his vitals look like shit and his bloodwork is full of fats. As he gives him his dire warning of making some attempt to better his life before its too late, Jack nudges Tammy with his last functional limb as she wheels him out to a celebratory Arbys meal. As Jack garbles on about meat gud, the doctor lets out a deep sigh and mutters:

"God what a mess."

Jack, being a man whos sense have been muted to appease his inhuman appetite mishears the doctors quote of pity as one of a cheerful "God bless." He hurples to his side to attempt to make a physical movement to acknowledge the phrase said so he could thank him as his wife begrudgingly pushes him into the horizon, the final stroke.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Calm down fatty, the doctor only said that because he doesn't know what else to do for you.

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Jack really soyed out when the doctor said “god” huh, guess he’ll pray away all his pain.

 

[The Early 2000s]

Jackino just dropped

Watch the ending. I won't spoil it, but I am in tears laughing.

Edit: have a confused Scalfani, on the house

 

[Judas Connor Moon]

Jackino just dropped

Watch the ending. I won't spoil it, but I am in tears laughing.

Unironically, Jack has pissed me off. 'Queso Chicken Rolls' or what the normal people call Enchiladas or Taquitos. The greek yogurt, cottage cheese, cream cheese and adding canned enchilada sauce combination is fucking vile. Baked chicken, seasoned to your liking, with some lime is understandable. Pico de gallo, okay. This man admits he hates cottage cheese however he continues to cook with it..... What the fuck. Unless, you're boiling real chilis to make your enchilada sauce, a blender isn't really needed. Next, adding all the cooked chicken, cheese/sauce concoction blended and the fucking pico de gallo all together making this dry, orange, gelatinous mess in a bowl.



Tamham proceeds to roll all this TikTok bullshit into a flour tortilla. Flour tortillas are vile to put into the oven. KingCobraJFS, another regarded individual, also loves putting flour tortillas in the oven. They can bake well but the contents of said tortilla has to be already warm/warmed. The longer you leave that tortilla in the oven, the harder it will get. Especially dry. Making it almost inedible.



Surprise, SURPRISE!!! A bunch of retards. Corn tortillas, lightly cooked and/or warmed-up are better option because once warm/cooked you can use the sauce base and it will congeal to the corn tortilla. Giving it flavor while providing it a base so it won't get dried out. The extra sauce may be poured over with Jack's favorite extra cheese topping for taste, aesthetic, or what the case may be. This end product though, looks like something a sibling would make, not an 15 year, 500k subscriber Youtuber that considers this their "job". It's just pathetic.



Jack Scalfani being a stroked-out, mushed brained, MEEAAATTTTT-lover approaches that dried-out tortilla like a hawk swooping in on a fleeing field mouse and dips Queso Roller into his Dollar General™ Pace Salsa® and gives the same face that Christian Weston Chandler did right before he shit his pants. He tasting it, pondering if or when should he say anything and right before you THINK you are going to get a "review".



This. THIS. The 'nicest guy on the Internet' and self-proclaimed food reviewer can't even provide a fucking review of something that not only he made but the instead we get a black still stating the following, "DO NOT MAKE THIS RECIPE IT'S AWFUL!!" Yeah, no shit. Tell me something I don't know. Tamham and Jack made it and anything they make, I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. Maybe, I don't know the cottage cheese and lack of extra chicken must've really got his panties into a twist. "TASTES LIKE DOG VOMIT IF I COULD IMAGINE WHAT DOG VOMIT TASTES LIKE THIS IS IT. JUST BEING HONEST. SORRY" I have a strange suspension that Jack has eaten Hope's vomit before. I, personally find this end frame avant grad. The Sopranos Black frame can't compare to Jack's black frame of dog vomit. I vote for @AnOminous or any other Kiwi with editing ability or just utter disdain for Jack to re-edit all his cooking videos and add this Black frame of dog vomit at the end of every video because just like Jack stated you're just being honest. Sorry.

 

[Guntanator]

The face you make as you watch your 5th stroke approach at train derailment speed.

 

[Aunt Carol]

This. THIS. The 'nicest guy on the Internet' and self-proclaimed food reviewer can't even provide a fucking review of something that not only he made but the instead we get a black still stating the following, "DO NOT MAKE THIS RECIPE IT'S AWFUL!!" Yeah, no shit. Tell me something I don't know. Tamham and Jack made it and anything they make, I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. Maybe, I don't know the cottage cheese and lack of extra chicken must've really got his panties into a twist. "TASTES LIKE DOG VOMIT IF I COULD IMAGINE WHAT DOG VOMIT TASTES LIKE THIS IS IT. JUST BEING HONEST. SORRY"

If Jack really wants to move shirts, this should be the next design.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

Calm down fatty, the doctor only said that because he doesn't know what else to do for you.

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This is peak Jack. Someone pays the most basic lip service to religiosity possible and he shits himself with glee. Nothing about values or the performance of the doctor, he just said "God Gud" and Jack is enthused.

God bless is also a fairly vague sentiment. Theoretically the doctor could've been a Muslim, but I'm sure Jack has never thought that deeply about anything. Inshallah Jack.

 

[Tiresome]

Someone pays the most basic lip service to religiosity possible and he shits himself with glee

This is nothing specific to Jack, this is the exact kind of deeply-fragile evangelical boomerist identity politics he hews to, the kind where failing to print "Merry Christmas" on a Starbucks cup leaves the follower an emotional hairsbreadth away from reaching for their ArmaLite.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Jackino just dropped

Watch the ending. I won't spoil it, but I am in tears laughing.

Edit: have a confused Scalfani, on the house
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The ending isn't hard to explain, he choked on the enchilada and by the time they vacuumed the food out of his throat he didn't feel like filming the rest of the video.