Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Kuritan Deplorable]

Latest update is Jr working nights at a gas station as a night manager. Basically he cleans shitters and doesn't actually managing anything. Medium Tammy was going to college for something, but no doubt that's changed since a couple living off a single $9/hour job isn't feasible.

The whole brain issues mighta dropped her out too. Night shift at the gas probably isn't the worst decision for Jr - already married but no kids, so the weird schedule is less destructive to life path, and even the shittiest places usually have a night shift bonus. Probably no more than a couple dollars an hour, but when you're already making so little, that's a big jump. Considering Jr's complete lack of ambition and enjoyment of being a big gym bro, I'm surprised he hasn't looked into becoming night security. Good pay to basically drive around or sit and watch a screen while listening to podcasts. Dead end, but it'd probably be enough to help put your wife through college.

 

[Tiresome]

Don't have a MuskHugboX.com account anymore so can't see Jack rage over that hilarious poll response, but the fucked-up algo did bring this absolute gem of a reminder that Junior (or apparently II, so possibly not a second Jack Russell) followed the gold standard for white trash by wearing the classiest outfit for his public proposal.

 

[GloriousRapeRabbit]

Don't have a MuskHugboX.com account anymore so can't see Jack rage over that hilarious poll response, but the fucked-up algo did bring this absolute gem of a reminder that Junior (or apparently II, so possibly not a second Jack Russell) followed the gold standard for white trash by wearing the classiest outfit for his public proposal.

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Dear heavens. That poor stupid girl.
I have been out of the Jackverse for a while and have not followed it vvery closely.
Have we found out if she is legitimately retarded? I just feel sorry for the girl, i cant wrap my head around why she got stuck with this scumbag and his scumbag family. She is kinda cutesy....not a 10/10 by any means but she looks like a nice girl. She should have been able to find a decent man....unless there is some something very wrong with her head (wich at this point i am assuming since she does not bail). But EVEN THEN she ought to be able to do better. Dumb girls can be nice too and there is plenty of dumb but nice dudes out there aswell so what the fuck is her problem?

 

[Tiresome]

Have we found out if she is legitimately retarded?

I think giving her the title of Tammy Jr. might be closest. She's just bright enough to pursue a college degree or professional qualifications, but she has literally no foresight or wisdom enough to pick anyone better than an extremely low-class chud with zero work ethic. She will get older and fatter and continue to enable her manchild and grow ever more hidebound, irritable and unkind and in far too few years we'll have exactly a second-generation Jack and Tam, but with Junior sating his own need for attention by surrounding himself with nubile boys and recording idiotic Jesus screeds and bottom-tier raps instead of laughable cooking videos.

 

[Sexy Peach Emoji]

I think giving her the title of Tammy Jr. might be closest. She's just bright enough to pursue a college degree or professional qualifications, but she has literally no foresight or wisdom enough to pick anyone better than an extremely low-class chud with zero work ethic. She will get older and fatter and continue to enable her manchild and grow ever more hidebound, irritable and unkind and in far too few years we'll have exactly a second-generation Jack and Tam, but with Junior sating his own need for attention by surrounding himself with nubile boys and recording idiotic Jesus screeds and bottom-tier raps instead of laughable cooking videos.

Hopefully they will not breed and thus break the cycle. I come from two long lines of "poor white trash" and while the Kentucky side may be strung out opiate addicts, they are nowhere near anything like the Scalfanis. My Virginia side would refuse to associate with them. You can be low class and still have dignity.

 

[Tiresome]

You can be low class and still have dignity.

Someone can transcend their income, region and standard of living just through personality alone. If you ran into a family in the most backwoods of backwoods Appalachia or the most ghetto of ghetto Detroit, but they had a clean and comfortable home, fine and dignified manners and well-disciplined children, they automatically would be higher class than the Scalfanis and their ilk.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Hopefully they will not breed and thus break the cycle. I come from two long lines of "poor white trash" and while the Kentucky side may be strung out opiate addicts, they are nowhere near anything like the Scalfanis. My Virginia side would refuse to associate with them. You can be low class and still have dignity.

I'm surprised they haven't already as that was one of the reasons why they got married so young. Jr wanted "endless sleepovers" as he couldn't get frisky with Hammy Jr when his parents weren't around. Jagoff actually set up security cameras once when he and Hammy went somewhere so the two young 'uns couldn't give in to their carnal urges.

So either they're using protection, Jr is shooting blanks or he really is into young boys and just can't get it up when faced with a woman.

 

[Ihatejackscalfani]

The money shot folks. This is fucking grim.

This is more depressing then me trying to upload and crop this on an Android phone.

 

[Tiresome]

The money shot folks. This is fucking grim.

This is more depressing then me trying to upload and crop this on an Android phone.

Is this the first of three or four pre-Thanksgivings the Orange County Boulders have planned? Love how "STARBUCKS IS SUGARRRRR" Jack just can't wait to get his teeth into those rolls, yams, stuffing, mash and cake. What the hell are carbs?

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Holy fucking shit. At 3:57, the range on the thermometer is 500 - 600 feet. Jack says he is in the furthest room from the oven and HE MAY BE TOO FAR, "I may be more than 5 to 6 hundred feet". Jack thinks his house is 500 - 600 feet long. I can't believe this, this is one of the stupidest things he's ever said, and that's a long list.

 

[SimpScoat]

I think I'm turning Jackanese.

 

[ZipDisk]

So... Jack is such an unpleasant fuck he has supplanted the Jr household.

That's really sad. They thought they were getting out of apartment life, which cost them their oversized dogs, and now they realize the leash never ends.

I mean Tammy is the one actually paying for it, but if I had the hollering fat fuck that is Jack Senior in my dwelling, I'd sleep in my fucking car.

I have a feeling TamJr was raised churchy based on the fact she wasn't a landwhale but did have the shit frizzy hair mild churchies have.

You can spot it out in public if you look for it.

Also, the second they get out from under Patriarch thumbs, they balloon up into landwhales.
Source: Churchy relatives.

Of course, Jack would want double Thanksgiving.

ONE FOR THE CHANNER, ONE FOR THE FAMBLY!

TEMP SPIKE PARTNERSHIP

How long until they file a C&D?

THE GOURDS ARE BACK IN TOWN, THE GOURDS ARE BACK IN TOWN.

I feel like even if Jack could still taste, he would not like ribs without massive amounts of fat and shurgur added.

Once again, the actual food prep takes a backseat to Jack fucking around.

That poor dog just wants to be left alone. When Jack jammed his dead foot into the shot, I honestly wondered if he was going to kick the dog on video.

ALRIGHT GUYS, RIBS FOR MAMMON!

Tammy struggling so hard, and this fat fuck can't even taste it. Why the fuck didn't she just take half a bottle of kraft bbq sauce, A few squirts of yellow mustard, stuff the rest with butter, and microwave it in a bowl for Jack? Maybe throw in some meaty dog treats for texture.

Jack says it was so easy when he didn't do Jack Shit.

 

[Guntanator]

I'm pretty sure he's left Tammy instructions on what to do with his body after he dies and it looks something like what she did with the meat. Laying down on a bed of butter with sauce sounds like the exact place jack would want to spend eternity.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Is this the first of three or four pre-Thanksgivings the Orange County Boulders have planned? Love how "STARBUCKS IS SUGARRRRR" Jack just can't wait to get his teeth into those rolls, yams, stuffing, mash and cake. What the hell are carbs?

Carbs only matter to him when he can bitch about them. Every other time, like when the camera isn't on him, he eats them.

Holy fucking shit. At 3:57, the range on the thermometer is 500 - 600 feet. Jack says he is in the furthest room from the oven and HE MAY BE TOO FAR, "I may be more than 5 to 6 hundred feet". Jack thinks his house is 500 - 600 feet long. I can't believe this, this is one of the stupidest things he's ever said, and that's a long list.

To be fair to Jagoff he has no concept of things like proper portion sizes so measuring things can't be easy for him.

 

[RL Steinbeck]

....unless there is some something very wrong with her head

That tumor must have been pressing on the judgement/decision-making center of her brain. Poor girl never stood a chance...

 

[Doctor of Autism]

 

[Fortnite Bear]

Holy fucking shit. At 3:57, the range on the thermometer is 500 - 600 feet. Jack says he is in the furthest room from the oven and HE MAY BE TOO FAR, "I may be more than 5 to 6 hundred feet". Jack thinks his house is 500 - 600 feet long.

All this talk about sliding this device into ‘his meat’ makes me think he’s planning on using it for something else. It’s magnetic, too! pleasecomeoutofthecloset

Also, Jack Scalfani is 500-600 feet long last time I checked. Maybe he just walked outside.

 

[a terminal posture]

View attachment 5466871

Literally a few hours later he is shilling his sugar rolls to make SUGAR stuffing.

 

[p1138]

View attachment 5467243
Literally a few hours later he is shilling his sugar rolls to make SUGAR dressing.

It truly is amazing how he can have a pile of sugar on his table, brag about eating more sugar, but bitch about dunkin donuts coffee... where you can just order your damn coffee without sugar. It's been said dozens of times now, but the lack of self awareness is astounding.

Is Jack even sentient at this point? He seems to have no sense of self preservation, has the memory of a goldfish, is incapable of locomotion or manipulating his environment without others doing it for him, he can barely communicate above a level of those studies where gorillas learn sign language and shit... but they have use of their limbs. At this point I'm sure of a turing test actually existed, he'd manage to fail it. The average chat AI these days can maintain a more coherent conversation than he can.

Nevermind the fact that he just fucked up a recipe by using sweetened vanilla yogurt instead of plain, so he needs more sweetness in his stuffing? Yeah I've seen people toss raisins and shit in there(not my thing), but not just replacing the damn croutons with sugar rolls. Literally everything on his table for that "amazing aldi's spread" was sugar except for the fucking turkey... and he probably coated THAT in sugar too hence looking fucking burnt.

It is just so damned easy to hate this man...

 

[Your Favorite New Friend]

I'm pretty sure he's left Tammy instructions on what to do with his body after he dies and it looks something like what she did with the meat. Laying down on a bed of butter with sauce sounds like the exact place jack would want to spend eternity.

And cooked to perfection before burial: outsides charred to a crisp, insides poultry pink.