So I'm 3 weeks post-op today. Yipee.
Ok, but seriously, before we get into the negativity, I want to say that I'm feeling mentally and physically a lot better! Pain is at a 0 most of the time, going up to a maximum a 2 or 3 when my open wounds get irritated for whatever reason. I'm not on any meds anymore, haven't needed pain killers in over a week. Bleeding comes and goes from the open part of the wound, but it's always a very small amount.
Also, after weeks of icing for ten minutes every hour at my surgeon's recommendation, I finally stopped icing entirely a couple days ago after seeing the response to my last post on this sub. And I actually feel a lot better and less irritated! Not icing hasn't effected the swelling one way or another either, which is good. Hoping I didn't do too much damage from my days upon days of icing, because I was definitely wayyyy over doing it from what people were saying. I'm kinda terrified now of necrosis and other complications I could've avoided by not icing/icing less from the start. Though I don't actually know what necrosis looks like; what should I look out for?
Ok, now negativity time! I'm still stuck in bed 90% of the day because everything is so fragile. I can't sit up straight, can't maneuver very well while standing, can't leave the house at all, etc etc, and it feels like even a semblance of the normality I'm so desperate for is still so so far away. The worst part is that I'm pretty sure that I'd be mostly back to normal by now if it wasn't for the wound dehiscence on my right labia majora. Which was also probably totally preventable (see older posts)

. But I can't change the past, and right now that shit is peeled wide open and the whole area is swollen as hell with no sign of changing. Meanwhile, the left side of my vulva is like sunshine and daisies, a little swollen but otherwise no issues whatsoever (knock on wood


).
At this point, I don't know how the right side will ever even close. Will the exposed area eventually harden over and grow normal skin on top, or does the existing top layer of skin have to stretch and eventually close over it? If it's the latter, I don't think that's even possible, the gap is wayyyy too big at the bottom there. So yeah, I have no idea how long this wound closure is gonna take, no clue how long this stupid wound dehiscence pushed back my recovery. But I'm staying delulu and saying it's probably not a big deal at all and I'll totally be completely healed and normal by at most 8 weeks. I can't handle believing anything different right now tbh.
Also, final kinda silly note, but my bulge is literally way bigger than it was pre-op because of all the swelling lmao. Of course, I know it'll go down eventually, but at the same time, my swelling hasn't changed in the slightest throughout my recovery which is making me

. Considering half the reason I wanted bottom surgery was so I could wear any clothes I want without the constant paranoid anxiety that people will realize there's a dick under my pants, this swollen lump of a vulva is not really inspiring confidence :/