How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

@(((I am NOT a jew))) I don't think you're bitching, I think you're struggling in an insanely retarded culture.
That's true. But bitching about struggling in an insanely retarded culture is still just bitching about struggling in an insanely retarded culture.
I didn't think things would ever get this demoralizing. I understand why people are killing themselves. But just saying things suck isn't going to make things suck any less.
I just wish want a car sometimes. I should be able to get one relatively soon. I don't think I'd be nearly this down if I could just go the gym or get out of town or even just drive while listening to good music.

On the other end, I actually had my first good Thanksgiving in years and watched some Hong Kong action movies with a friend. Which was really goddamn nice. So things aren't all pointless.
I just need to get off my ass (or actually on my ass) and start writing or drawing. I don't see the point anymore if I can't compete with a fucking bot. But still I have stories to tell and big tiddies I'd like to draw at some point.
 
That's true. But bitching about struggling in an insanely retarded culture is still just bitching about struggling in an insanely retarded culture.
I didn't think things would ever get this demoralizing. I understand why people are killing themselves. But just saying things suck isn't going to make things suck any less.
I just wish want a car sometimes. I should be able to get one relatively soon. I don't think I'd be nearly this down if I could just go the gym or get out of town or even just drive while listening to good music.

On the other end, I actually had my first good Thanksgiving in years and watched some Hong Kong action movies with a friend. Which was really goddamn nice. So things aren't all pointless.
I just need to get off my ass (or actually on my ass) and start writing or drawing. I don't see the point anymore if I can't compete with a fucking bot. But still I have stories to tell and big tiddies I'd like to draw at some point.
No, but it's okay to vent and talk about it, because it really is horrible and there's little you can do about the world we live in. I would say, try to hang out with friends more. You should try writing or drawing more. It may help to exercise in the morning, or when you can, to get the hormones flowing. If you're living too sedentary a life, it will affect you.
 
But it's going to REALLY FUCKING SUCK if things magically turn around by the end of the decade and I'll have to show for it is years of bitching and fearing for the future.
exercise in the morning, or when you can, to get the hormones flowing. If you're living too sedentary a life, it will affect you.
This. Get some fuck you energy in you. It's amazing what a little exercise can do for you. I don't even mean running or dead lifting 300lbs, just fucking walking.
I'm restarting this myself, but when I was walking and doing some curls and other arm exercises, holy shit I felt fucking fantastic. Was I the fattest fuck in the room? Yeah, did I have retarded amounts of confidence because my forearms looked fucking sick? Yeah I did.


The world sucks, most of the people, especially the women, suck. Be stubborn. Get what you want even if it takes you years more than you expected. Fucking win.

Edit: I really recommend curls. I know there is a bunch of bs against them or it's popular to hate them, whatever, fuck you gay niggers. Curls are easy to start, easy to get into a routine with, and you see results QUICK. When you look down and see definition in your arms, at least I just get fucking mesmerized. Fuck yeah, I did that, they look good, and I'm going to keep doing them and get even better.
Walking is great for vitamind D and just getting outside. Plus it gives you time to think. Sure, half the time I think "maybe I should make sure the gun has a round in the chamber this time", but then I see I've lost 12 pounds this month from what? Walking my fat ass around and a bit of dieting.
Pump your hype game for yourself.

Also, draw some big ol tiddies.
 
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And I just want to say as gay as this sounds, I really do feel for everyone going through shit in here recently.
I'm not going to multi-quote everyone here but all this stuff about being trapped creatively, hating your coworkers, feeling pressure from the online world and ostracization, I'm all with you guys.
I'm not religious or spiritual, but I really think there is this weird "happening" that comes in waves where every week or month, I'll see a bunch of people talking about EERILY similar problems both in person and online. People either trying to give advice or vent about very specific states of the human condition, that everyone starts to feel all at once. I think this is a good thing because it's showing us we're not insane.
So I hope the very best happens to all of you and you're able to get some reprieve. I remind myself constantly now that as much as I feel down, most of my pain is coming from the years of wasted potential and heartache and not necessarily everything I'm experiencing in the now. Honestly, this has been the most productive year of my life. The fact that I've come this far while operating on 15% energy, having every slight possible and generally wanting to die every day is pretty impressive.

Also just a reminder for everyone here. Barring they actually discover or steal an immortal elixr in the next twenty years... all the people who put us in this position are going to die... relatively soon. They might have their buddies take their place but people are a little more apt than ever now to what they've been doing. So all these faggots are going to die and if we play our cards right, we can outlive them. And all at machiavelian 5d social-ladder bureaucratic snakey bullshit they've concocted to suit their needs over the last 60 years to benefit them will end with them being put in some fancy coffin, and that will be it. And currently a lot of their institutions are dying with them. I'm not saying we're going to live in some some utopia anytime soon. But if we fight for it, we'll live to see a day where these guys are in the ground. And that's a white pill if there ever was one.
 
Loneliness started to creep in on me recently. Started having panic inducing nightmares with it as well. ( I can DM the story if you want me to, not anything NC-17 but interesting none the less. ) I understand my behavior is to blame about it and who I am makes me in the position to stay this way for the foreseeable future. I am the one who has the power to fix it and by and large i have done several orders of magnitude of introspective and self improvement to make things better but still fundamentally I am no one and nothing to start a relationship above platonic given current financial and living situations. The human condition may have taken longer for me to set in but it has when it comes to just simply being loved and appreciated by someone for nothing more than the merit of who I am alone. These thing's at-least on my end will all be sorted in good time as I am in the position and understanding to do so. How what when were and why they will finally go over unity is something left up to the sands of time to have happen but hey, I am along for the ride so embrace the insanity.
 
How do you even talk or connect with your average person today? It's all Spiderman this, socialism that, while nigger rap music plays in the background. Everyone is in eternal childhood. Gen Z can barely operate their own goddamn smartphones.
If it makes you feel better, I can talk about Spider-Man all day, but they all assume I'm some kind of sperg-boomer hybrid because I always end up talking about how much better it all used to be and how much they've fucked him up.
 
If it makes you feel better, I can talk about Spider-Man all day, but they all assume I'm some kind of sperg-boomer hybrid because I always end up talking about how much better it all used to be and how much they've fucked him up.
I don't mind these things in moderation of some sort, but our entire society is a mess of shitty juvenile pop-culture corporate IP horseshit.
 
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If it makes you feel better, I can talk about Spider-Man all day, but they all assume I'm some kind of sperg-boomer hybrid because I always end up talking about how much better it all used to be and how much they've fucked him up.
I grew up around the era of Toby McGuire, are those held in high regard or have they aged poorly? I saw them in theaters so its been over a decade.
 
I grew up around the era of Toby McGuire, are those held in high regard or have they aged poorly? I saw them in theaters so its been over a decade.
Extremely high regard by men of culture. So much so that it's basically the reason that 2021's Spider-Man No Way Home sold like gangbusters when superhero movies were starting to tank. It was among the first of the multiverse things, but its main focus was bringing together all 3 live-action Spider-Men, and Tobey Maguire basically carried that movie because everyone missed him so much.
 
Extremely high regard by men of culture. So much so that it's basically the reason that 2021's Spider-Man No Way Home sold like gangbusters when superhero movies were starting to tank. It was among the first of the multiverse things, but its main focus was bringing together all 3 live-action Spider-Men, and Tobey Maguire basically carried that movie because everyone missed him so much.
Sweet, I did grow up in the last best generation.
 
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I am blackpilled on friendship. Making friends, keeping friends, interacting with friends. Used to have em, they inexplicably all faded out on me around the covid times despite me trying to keep in touch. I'm firmly an Adult BTW and have been for a long time.

I cope mostly fine because I'm a bit of a loner anyway and can amuse myself. All my hobbies and interests are solo. However this means I'm not making new friends. I do try but I feel like I need to be kinda fake and like ☺️🤩☺️🤩☺️🤩 all the time because my natural personality is a bit quiet and surly. But it's tiring to keep up. People will be like JUST B URSELF 🌈 but then people stay away because they think I'm mean or an ass hole. I feel like most people want some level of ass kissing or someone constantly fun and funny to hang out with and I'm not that person. I've kinda resigned myself to being on my own for that reason. I also don't CONSOOM media at all really so I find it boring to watch TV with people. The more time I spend on my own the less I tolerate the shit other people want to do to socialise.

Hobby groups tend to just be people trying to flex on each other. I don't tolerate that very well. I accept that the problem is me but I'm happy being who I am and don't want to change. So I'm left without peers or allies. All other areas of my life are good. Anyone else ever feel this way?
 
Deleted last post, I was too happy drunk--but I really do love the farms. I just can't deal with the rest of the internet anymore. It fucking sucks. KF helps keep me sane because everything else I read on the internet infuriates me.

My sore throat and cough is getting really bad, and painful... but it's not covid. Anyone got any ideas for suppressing a terrible cough?
I am blackpilled on friendship. Making friends, keeping friends, interacting with friends. Used to have em, they inexplicably all faded out on me around the covid times despite me trying to keep in touch. I'm firmly an Adult BTW and have been for a long time.

I cope mostly fine because I'm a bit of a loner anyway and can amuse myself. All my hobbies and interests are solo. However this means I'm not making new friends. I do try but I feel like I need to be kinda fake and like ☺️🤩☺️🤩☺️🤩 all the time because my natural personality is a bit quiet and surly. But it's tiring to keep up. People will be like JUST B URSELF 🌈 but then people stay away because they think I'm mean or an ass hole. I feel like most people want some level of ass kissing or someone constantly fun and funny to hang out with and I'm not that person. I've kinda resigned myself to being on my own for that reason. I also don't CONSOOM media at all really so I find it boring to watch TV with people. The more time I spend on my own the less I tolerate the shit other people want to do to socialise.

Hobby groups tend to just be people trying to flex on each other. I don't tolerate that very well. I accept that the problem is me but I'm happy being who I am and don't want to change. So I'm left without peers or allies. All other areas of my life are good. Anyone else ever feel this way?
As you get older people just keep drifting away until you only know a few people.

I feel like the modern world is designed for people who aren't at all self-sufficient and for people stuck in childhood. It's hard for men in particular, we don't have "male" spaces anymore.
 
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I love my family and spending time with them, but I quickly reach my limit of the constant yammering assault of pro sports, the discussion of pro sports, and the relentless propaganda of television ads. Every time I can control the remote the latter is getting muted and worse, everyone fights me on it. Ads are great! I like ads! Mmm, the numbing sensation of advertisements is my comfort blanket. I don't like blaming all the world's ills on boomers but good God, just shoot me for how much they love to consooooome.

Anyway, I guess the home cooking is worth it.
 
My sore throat and cough is getting really bad, and painful... but it's not covid. Anyone got any ideas for suppressing a terrible cough?
A nurse I was dating gave me their go to for anything cold / flu / w/e related. Get the mucinexD / the knock off; the one you have to go to the pharmacist for. Also get Delsym 12 hour.
Those are my go to now. I also suggest super dosing vitamin C. 2-3kmg. Yeah, most of it is wasted. But it has worked in my family and there have been studies showing super-dosing vitamin C is beneficial.

I feel like the modern world is designed for people who aren't at all self-sufficient and for people stuck in childhood. It's hard for men in particular, we don't have "male" spaces anymore.

Even the "male" spaces you may find, you'll find the men aren't really men. They act like women. It seems like the days of male friendship, comradery, are gone. You'll be blessed to find pockets of it, but you may not.
 
I am in many ways just looking at the odd moral grandstanding i saw on one of the boards and I wondered why someone would go to the bother of a sperg out.
 
Putting my dog down soon. She’s suffering, but it’s one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever had to make, and I have to reconvince myself often in the brief peaceful moments that she has, where I think “maybe she can last a little longer”. It’s surreal to be making this decision, and to think I’m going to wake up in a couple of days without my best friend of 15 years. Feeling volatile emotionally, all in varying shades of shitty: guilt, regrets, lamenting mortality and the passage of time, etc. This sucks (:_(
 
Putting my dog down soon. She’s suffering, but it’s one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever had to make, and I have to reconvince myself often in the brief peaceful moments that she has, where I think “maybe she can last a little longer”. It’s surreal to be making this decision, and to think I’m going to wake up in a couple of days without my best friend of 15 years. Feeling volatile emotionally, all in varying shades of shitty: guilt, regrets, lamenting mortality and the passage of time, etc. This sucks (:_(
I had to go through this very recently. I keep her ashes next to me. There just isn't an easy way through it.
 
Putting my dog down soon. She’s suffering, but it’s one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever had to make, and I have to reconvince myself often in the brief peaceful moments that she has, where I think “maybe she can last a little longer”. It’s surreal to be making this decision, and to think I’m going to wake up in a couple of days without my best friend of 15 years. Feeling volatile emotionally, all in varying shades of shitty: guilt, regrets, lamenting mortality and the passage of time, etc. This sucks (:_(
Had to do it for my old lady years ago. Almost every day, sometimes multiple times a day, she would have seizures and weird heart episodes where she's collapse and breathe really hard until she was able to move again. She had some neurological issue as well that caused her to walk in circles endlessly if you let her.

It breaks your heart but sometimes their suffering is just too much, too constant, to let it continue. You know the only alternative is more daily suffering and a more painful death.
I feel you, mate.

edit: I should note we adopted her already old, and blind, and going deaf. We knew as soon as we saw her that no one would ever adopt her. We gave her a loving home for her last several years, but we always knew how it was gonna end.
It's painful knowing that, but I think if I'm ever in a situation where I can have a pet again (which may be soonish), I'll go for a senior again, it's hard for them to find a home, and they deserve the love.
Or a rescued greyhound, there's an organization around here that works with those as well. They're usually not that old when they're rescued (unless they're puppies from a breeder), but they tend to have had difficult lives, and while I know some people get them for the trend, my logic is the same as with the seniors.
 
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Today is one of the worst days I've had in a long time. I got in a car accident this afternoon while I was on my way to getting a medical issue taken care of, and despite that I managed to make it, but I've been waiting for over an hour and not gotten what I need. While waiting I've found out that someone close to me is having a serious crisis which demands my attention, but I'll be totally fucked if I quit waiting here and go to help out. By the time my own problem is resolved, the other crisis will probably have gotten worse, and all I can do is sit here and post on a gossip forum. Sorry to vaguepost about it all.
 
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