Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[LaughJoke2.0]

It's hilarious to me that he mentioned TheWolfePit being on the carnivore diet. He's a lot like Jack. Fat dude with all sorts of health problems that claims to be on the carnivore diet but constantly puts out videos of carb loaded dishes. Here's his latest video:

Casserole my ass that's just loaded potatoes with cheap bologna instead of bacon.

 

[Goatchoker]

I just keep thinking about having BOTH Achilles tendons replaced and I’m horrified by the thought. *worst fucking fear*

I do hope this thread stays open, or we can shift the cooking knowledge to a different thread once he’s gone. I will give him to last arest of 23’ but a whole year from now we might be in a different era of scalfani fuckery.

 

[Android raptor]

He gonna die

 

[AskeDead]

Looks like we got featured, get ready for the thread to be shit for a couple days

 

[TV's Adam West]

Once more the Wendigo hungers.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

Neither saturated fat nor LDL-C cause CVD.

Yeah, that's an ancient and outdated myth, heart failure started going up after we switched from animal tallow to substitutes like Crisco and canola oil. The reason why we started the switch is because some guy blamed his own heart attack on cooking with animal fats.

The notion that animal tallow causes heart attacks is as outdated as "vitamins make you immortal" and "depression is caused by chemicals in the brain."

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

He talks about his upcoming carnivore diet, whatever.
He's going to Universal Florida with some special VIP 'meetup' package that includes food and 10 kinds of butterbeer. Where do they get the money?
He's excited to try the green eggs and ham at the Dr Suess land, because he is 10 years old and green food coloring makes food taste better.
His next video is 'deer balls' with that woman protege of his.

>Carnivore diet
>Deer Balls
>”Butterbeer”

Is this the fast track way on how to mix terminal diabetes with terminal cancer?

 

[The Feline Solution]

He talks about his upcoming carnivore diet, whatever.
He's going to Universal Florida with some special VIP 'meetup' package that includes food and 10 kinds of butterbeer. Where do they get the money?
He's excited to try the green eggs and ham at the Dr Suess land, because he is 10 years old and green food coloring makes food taste better.
His next video is 'deer balls' with that woman protege of his.

Topkek, Jack aiming for stroke #4, #5 and #6 to all hit at the same time in 2024. Kiss the other arm and any remaining brain functions, no matter how feeble they are already, good bye. Fucking mushbrain, at least there's finally hope for HOPE, don't think that Hammy wants to take care of her anymore when Jack finally becomes 100% bedridden disabled.

Edit:

This latest stroke was his fourth. You're forgetting the one he left the hospital untreated for because he didn't like the doctor or whatever and then bragged about not paying the bill.

Fuck's sake, he already had the fourth?! When did that happen? I'm not even going to comment on how absolutely mentally retarded a person must be for leaving the hospital untreated for a motherfucking stroke, it's Jack we talking about after all.

 

[Fortnite Bear]

Jack said he keeps getting strokes when he makes “healthy eating decisions.”

This, in turn, means that stroke #6 is nigh.

 

[Kankichi Ryotsu]

Given how he cooks his chicken, it probably won't take long to take him out.

 

[Seymour Duncan]

Looks like we got featured, get ready for the thread to be shit for a couple days

On the other hand, seeing fresh initiates get Party Cheese Salad'd and Bison Burgered is always funny as hell.

 

[No Batty Boys in Jamaica]

Meatmaxxing.

 

[BrunoMattei]

So he's just straight up trying to kill himself now, right?

Suicide via red meat sure isn't the quickest way to go, but it's probably the tastiest.

I dunno but there's a Simpsons meme that kind of explains it:

0:47

 

[Mr. Manchester]

He talks about his upcoming carnivore diet, whatever.
He's going to Universal Florida with some special VIP 'meetup' package that includes food and 10 kinds of butterbeer. Where do they get the money?
He's excited to try the green eggs and ham at the Dr Suess land, because he is 10 years old and green food coloring makes food taste better.
His next video is 'deer balls' with that woman protege of his.

"The worst that can happen... is that nothing will happen"

lmao

 

[Ponzo]

I will be shocked if he manages to reach ketosis even once, so whatever.

Ketosis isn't the goal of a carnivore diet, since you can drink milk or eat yoghurt both of which have plenty of carbs. You can eat a pretty learn carnivore diet and don't have to fatload like on keto.

 

[1962s Godzilla]

So we're gonna need to add Jack to the top of the deathfats now

 

[p1138]

Looks like we got featured, get ready for the thread to be shit for a couple days

Eh, there's enough fatstory in the past few pages that people can pick up on the context of Fatty pretty damn fast compared to some other threads where it's a challenge to figure out wtf people are even talking about sometimes.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

I see a lot of people in this thread who think that eating a pure meat diet is going to kill him faster because they believe in outdated medical science.

It would be ironic if he actually dropped weight and cured his diabetes by sticking to the carnivore diet, it would be hilarious actually. It would be proof positive that the carnivore diet actually works. But that means he'd have to eat no veggies, no breads, no carbs whatsoever, only eggs, meat, liver and he'd have to cook it all with animal fats. His toilet is going to cry, by which I mean overflow, repeatedly.

We'll see what he does. I hope he doesn't disappoint.

 

[Retink Retunk]

The wendigo demands juicy meats

Meat posting is back on the menu boys!

 

[indomitable snowman]

I do hope this thread stays open, or we can shift the cooking knowledge to a different thread once he’s gone. I will give him to last arest of 23’ but a whole year from now we might be in a different era of scalfani fuckery.

I think Jr might have some interesting stuff to follow along with in the future. There's potential in a few things like his coming out and divorce, there's his rap career and dead end job, and the chance to be a deathfat like his father.