Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 196 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 790 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,389
The diet they never try? Eat less. Move more!
It's really too late for Jack. It's already hard to lose weight but if you've already crippled yourself with strokes and are now a morbidly obese blob in a chair it's hard to move more. Yeah there are special exercise regiments for people with limited mobility, but the odds of Jagoff bothering to do any of them are about zero.
 
Sure that's possible but it seems too... unsafe to me. And he'd be doing it with his non-dominant hand. I don't care if it's possible in that sense. To be able to do it with any kind of speed or efficiency that's something you probably have to practice. That's why I said it would be safer for him to use a revolver.
Jack Scalfani + firearm is an accident waiting to happen tbh.

US kitkats are a Hershey product, internationally they're a Nestle product. And of course Hershey is one of the worst chocolate brands on the planet as far as taste goes.

Long story short, Hershey chocolate has butyric acid in it, which tastes like vomit. Hershey doesn't add butyric acid to their chocolate, but it does come from milk going rancid(it's in other stuff too, various cheeses and things), so the general assumption is that Hershey does something to the milk they're adding to their chocolate, likely to aid in shelf stability(because butyric acid does that) but won't admit to(they don't have to) what their actual production process involves. because Hershey won't admit to how they process their milk or chocolate in general, there's all sorts of rumors/conspiracies/whatever about this, especially since most other decent chocolate brands don't have this issue. And that's before getting into the weird part about Hershey chocolate having a rubbery consistency at room temperature(also disgusting, and noticeable with a plain Hershey bar), so who knows what causes that since it isn't normal either. This would be why europeans tend to complain about american chocolate, because theirs doesn't have this shit in it.
Thanks for the information. I didn’t think about the manufacturer. I find some Hershey bars have this butyric acid problem and others don’t. Different production lots, maybe? If you grow up eating it you may not notice as much. It ceases to be noticeable if the product is cooked into anything else (like scones or cookies.)

My favorite is Cadbury fruit and nut though. It has a nice balance of flavors.

Guaranteed Jack's not going to make a change in his diet, except cutting out all those icky fruit and veggies. Still going to douse everything in BBQ sauce, still going to get burgers on Fat on the Go, still going to have his Scrooge Christmas or whatever the fuck gimmick this year's is where everything is soaked in booze and powdered sugar.

Then again, he meant he's only going to be 'leaning' carnivore.
I think Jack’s underestimated how much he will crave things off the diet if he takes this up. I’ve looked at similar “elimination diets” that basically say no starch, no legumes, no sugar, no dairy products, no booze, no cured meats like bacon, no “unhealthy fat” (which means trendy avocados and beef fat is OK but corn oil is not, which I just find confusing.) if I took that diet I’d basically be allowed to have green/non starchy veg, eggs, and meat, and I’m not even sure what oils I’d be allowed to cook them in.

If Jack is serious about this meat-only diet I think he would find himself cheating constantly because of carb cravings.

I’ll digress a little into why these diets “work” (or at least, why you don’t die from following them.) Sugar is the energy currency of the body, and the easiest way to get sugar is by breaking down carbs into their constituent sugars in the liver. But if you go on some crazy “elimination diet” that prevents you from eating anything containing carbs or sugars, then your body turns to fat and protein to make sugar in a process called gluconeogenesis. Basically your liver plays Lego with the fat and protein molecules to make them into sugar (with ketones as a byproduct of this provees, hence the name “keto diet.”) This process costs more energy than just dividing long chain carbs into shorter sugar molecules, so it burns energy to keep you alive. So theoretically, if your calorie intake stays about the same or slightly less than normal, you would be in a deficit because your body is obligated to use this pathway to get the sugar it needs to survive.

Unfortunately the whole thing can go pear-shaped if you slip up and have say, a cappuccino, because then your liver will stop the gluconeogenesis until it’s totally out of dietary carbs. And since I’m not sure Jack is good at distinguishing what has carbs and what doesn’t, he’s just going to be bingeing on high fat meat while still consuming enough carbs to prevent him from being on any kind of ketogenic state.

The guy would be better off getting on GLP-1 agonist like Ozempic, but I’m not a doctor, and I suspect he would have already been offered meds like that, and either he chooses not to take them (because they all cause GI side fx) or he’s terrible with adherence.
I meant hit with the gun. Last I checked here in AK, you're not allowed to keep your roadkill. If anything is salvageable, it gets given to families on a subsistance list. It's to help prevent poaching. Same if you have to kill a bear in self defense, you don't get to keep anything. You're supposed to call it in. Not that anything other than fear of johnny law makes you call it in, I suppose. I will say that I have had plenty of fine deer roadkill in my time when I was a wee lad in VA, though.
No needy family wants to eat some red neck’s roadkill, and no USDA plant is going to certify it. So afaik in this situation there’s no reason not to take it yourself, and just don’t invite the lawman over for your all-venison feast next week.
Ok disgusting TMI I know, but I tried eating my lunch like him by sticking out my tongue like some prehensile horror. I almost choked myself as bringing the tongue in brought the unchewed food to back of the throat. It also was too much food at one time.

I have no idea how someone could regularly eat by doing this.
His dysphagia makes eating like that more comfortable somehow than just eating normally.
 
I'll never understand fad diets, they're basically "i gave it a try at least" situations because most people whiplash back into shitty practices immediately either because the diet itself is not sustainable (enjoy the constipation Jack) or they eat too much of it (knowing Jack he''ll consume 3-5k cals worth of Ham per day) then act dumbfounded that nothing has changed about their weight. All a diet needs is caloric limitations by going into a deficit of around 500-1000 calories from the average mean of your age/sex/height/weight and that will immediately show results per week in your weight and blood work. First few days are always a hurdle, but the stomach eventually shrinks back to a normal size and the hunger craves go away. Jack, much like many others, is too stubborn and dumb to understand this.

And knowing how stupid Jack is, he'll probably be including plenty of calorie beverages in this diet thinking it's not cheating.
 
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Thanks for the information. I didn’t think about the manufacturer. I find some Hershey bars have this butyric acid problem and others don’t. Different production lots, maybe? If you grow up eating it you may not notice as much. It ceases to be noticeable if the product is cooked into anything else (like scones or cookies.)

My favorite is Cadbury fruit and nut though. It has a nice balance of flavors.
Funny you should mention Cadbury, Hershey makes Cadbury for the US market. I have no idea if the chocolate is comparable to the UK version, they claim it's supposed to be but all I've seen UK people who look at it do is complain that the molds they use for the bars are different. But there's also some goofy shit about banning the import of some UK cadbury bars, but it's not an issue for some nestle products? It's a really weird mess.
 
The diet they never try? Eat less. Move more!
He doesn't even have to move or exercise to lose weight. Just limit his caloric intake and he could easily lose a kilo or more per week.
The scariest part is realizing that he's ruined his body to the point where there's really nothing left for him to gain by stopping his overeating. There's nothing left for him except suicide by hamburger.

Anyone younger and overweight should heed the cautionary tale of Jack Scalfani. Repent! Before it's too late and the only thing left in your life is meat and even more meat.
 
If I didn't know better (Jack being a slop gobbling retard) I'd think he was trying to Speedeat himself into the grave on purpose.

His gimp arm has always creeped me out, but I can hardly look at him now- he looks like a reanimated bloated corpse.

I don't wanna see what he he looks like at his funeral, even though I doubt he would look much different than he does now.
I'm not suggesting some freak will actually crash his wake &, "document," it, but I'm not naive enough to rule it out.

So here's an extremely charitable prediction of what open casket Jack will look like after his new diet bodies him.

Jack_in_the_Box.jpg
Jack in the Box
 

He went to a Loredos Tacos inside a 7/11. Fucker got gas station food 😭, and not just any gas station food, he got end of the day, dry, heat lamp warmed Mexican gas station food. Gross.

He STILL gave it a B- though.
And he misspelled the company name in the title. Despite having the correct name right there in the thumbnail with the company logo he copied from the internet, and for even more fun he's apparently done a Laredo vs. Loredo war in the past. Grate jorb.
 
The upcoming carnivore diet is a nothingburger. Not like he'll stay on it for long enough for it to do anything for him, if he actually starts it. First meal of the new year will be more meat candied in sweet barbecue sauce, as is typical for him. He couldn't even fully commit to keto, preferring to "lean" it. If he claims to still be on carnivore past January 1, this would be his angle after all the Facebook callouts.

Jack is like a deadite. Strokes keeps crippling and disfiguring him until he doesn't even look like a living, functioning human anymore. And yet, he keeps trucking on, presumably until Ash Williams figures out a way to stop him. The only reason that he should live after the inevitable sixth stroke is for doctors to see just how further fucked he gets after it. It's like he's being kept alive purely for scientific reasons. He's only alive now because of today's medicine. Jack's legacy should be being featured in a medical journal. I cannot think of any other person that's lived after as many major strokes as Jack has. He is a medical marvel for all the wrong reasons.
 

He went to a Loredos Tacos inside a 7/11. Fucker got gas station food 😭, and not just any gas station food, he got end of the day, dry, heat lamp warmed Mexican gas station food. Gross.

He STILL gave it a B- though.
jesus christ the volume of that intro song scares the shit out of me every time.
 

He went to a Loredos Tacos inside a 7/11. Fucker got gas station food 😭, and not just any gas station food, he got end of the day, dry, heat lamp warmed Mexican gas station food. Gross.

He STILL gave it a B- though.
Of all the times in the day to eat gas station food, of course he has to try it when it's been sitting out all damn day.
1:45 he admits the food looks like shit and showing up at 7pm was a bad idea. But claims you should show up earlier in the day... no you shouldn't show up at all like it's a fucking destination.
2:02 why the fuck does he had his leg up on a chair? This looks like those tables that can in theory seat four, but should only seat two max. Is he straddling the damn pole under the table? Claims that he's hit an all new low with this... LOL.
2:24 the shit looks dried out and crusty, the cheese on the nachos isn't even melted either.
Capture.JPG

3:10 doesn't use his tongue, still rams the taco/thing into his face.
3:25 Holy shit, he thinks the beans and rice pictured above are inedible. Fatty won't eat something. I'm amazed.

He gave it a B-, because Brianna reminded him that the letter B exists in the last fat on the go. Seasoning gud, sides inedible, was still able to consume meat gud but tough and dried out.
 
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