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- Sep 14, 2015
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I can't help but notice the women and men all seem to be carbon copies of each other... it's very strangeI had some long periods of involuntary boredom today and spent time reading Nick and Angie's Facebooks. They fascinate me. I am descended from "sons of the soil" but I've never quite seen a group of people this grotesque.
Angie and Nick are complete shit shows but they're just two small cogs in a white trash machine. I'd see an astounding comment on one of their status updates and I'd check out the commenter's Facebook and engaged in some sociological rubber necking. Here are some findings and when I'm able to use my computer tomorrow I may upload pictures to illustrate my results:
--This group of yokels have more missing teeth per head than a Victorian Cockney prostitute. These days you don't see too many people in their 20s and 30s with teeth just outright missing.
--Almost all the women have some sort of "I'm sick of the drama, leave me out of it, I swear I hate drama and will not hesitate to beat your ass or fill your comments with hyper-aggressive and histrionic bullshit if you start something" statement somewhere in their FB, often as a static statement in their about me section.
--Almost everyone is obese. A couple of the women are so comically fat, with enormous beach-ball shaped torsos and stomachs, with skinny toothpick limbs sticking out, that they reminded me of Veruca Salt after she expanded into a blueberry. Angie is well on her way to having this particular shape.
--They are all incoherent and borderline illiterate to a degree that even with context and decoding some of their routine spelling errors I simply could not piece together what they were typing. Yet, with only a few exceptions, they are all able to understand each other. It's like we've discovered the white trash version of AAVE.
--Almost all of them look ten to twenty years older than they are.
--They are all obsessed with crime, especially crimes against children. They tend to post lots of news articles about sex offenders and child murders.
--At least two weddings occurred where the bride wore a white gown and the groom wore street clothes that might have been suitable for a night out bowling.
--None of them can let anything go without some sort of threat of violence.
--The women all post glurge memes about how their man treats them like princesses and they continually thank those men for standing by them through thick and thin. Such posts often come after less than a few months (or weeks) of dating.
This group of individuals has been a salt mine next to a dairy farm.
Violet. Violet was the blueberry.I had some long periods of involuntary boredom today and spent time reading Nick and Angie's Facebooks. They fascinate me. I am descended from "sons of the soil" but I've never quite seen a group of people this grotesque.
Angie and Nick are complete shit shows but they're just two small cogs in a white trash machine. I'd see an astounding comment on one of their status updates and I'd check out the commenter's Facebook and engaged in some sociological rubber necking. Here are some findings and when I'm able to use my computer tomorrow I may upload pictures to illustrate my results:
--This group of yokels have more missing teeth per head than a Victorian Cockney prostitute. These days you don't see too many people in their 20s and 30s with teeth just outright missing.
--Almost all the women have some sort of "I'm sick of the drama, leave me out of it, I swear I hate drama and will not hesitate to beat your ass or fill your comments with hyper-aggressive and histrionic bullshit if you start something" statement somewhere in their FB, often as a static statement in their about me section.
--Almost everyone is obese. A couple of the women are so comically fat, with enormous beach-ball shaped torsos and stomachs, with skinny toothpick limbs sticking out, that they reminded me of Veruca Salt after she expanded into a blueberry. Angie is well on her way to having this particular shape.
--They are all incoherent and borderline illiterate to a degree that even with context and decoding some of their routine spelling errors I simply could not piece together what they were typing. Yet, with only a few exceptions, they are all able to understand each other. It's like we've discovered the white trash version of AAVE.
--Almost all of them look ten to twenty years older than they are.
--They are all obsessed with crime, especially crimes against children. They tend to post lots of news articles about sex offenders and child murders.
--At least two weddings occurred where the bride wore a white gown and the groom wore street clothes that might have been suitable for a night out bowling.
--None of them can let anything go without some sort of threat of violence.
--The women all post glurge memes about how their man treats them like princesses and they continually thank those men for standing by them through thick and thin. Such posts often come after less than a few months (or weeks) of dating.
This group of individuals has been a salt mine next to a dairy farm.
Ok. Well you may be from here, and this may be considered power leveling, but I am from a rural area of a state close to where these gloriously exceptional individuals are located, and the teeth thing. Well, it was bad here twenty years ago, because the dentist is not very high on the list of spending for southern poor people. Pulling the offending tooth/teeth is the answer. Considering meth has arrived on the scene in the last decades in poor rural areas you'd be better off to count the ppl who have their teeth, than not. And, yes they are in their twenties and thirties. While Macon isn't as rural as the armpit I live in, I can't imagine poor people there feel any different about pulling vs paying a dentist for teeth upkeep. And I'm pretty sure they have meth.I had some long periods of involuntary boredom today and spent time reading Nick and Angie's Facebooks. They fascinate me. I am descended from "sons of the soil" but I've never quite seen a group of people this
--This group of yokels have more missing teeth per head than a Victorian Cockney prostitute. These days you don't see too many people in their 20s and 30s with teeth just outright missing.
[/SPOILER]
They live in the state of New York as of now and originally come from there.Ok. Well you may be from here, and this may be considered power leveling, but I am from a rural area of a state close to where these gloriously exceptional individuals are located, and the teeth thing. Well, it was bad here twenty years ago, because the dentist is not very high on the list of spending for southern poor people. Pulling the offending tooth/teeth is the answer. Considering meth has arrived on the scene in the last decades in poor rural areas you'd be better off to count the ppl who have their teeth, than not. And, yes they are in their twenties and thirties. While Macon isn't as rural as the armpit I live in, I can't imagine poor people there feel any different about pulling vs paying a dentist for teeth upkeep. And I'm pretty sure they have meth.
Also, the south is chocked full of fat people because we fry everything. So toothless and fat is a given, considering we are talking about the white trash of the southern US.
damn. I thought they were from Georgia. Nevermind. I'm getting my cows confused or something.They live in the state of New York as of now and originally come from there.
No, they did live in Georgia for a spin so you're all good. They just moved back to their hometown.damn. I thought they were from Georgia. Nevermind. I'm getting my cows confused or something.
Yeah, they spent some time in Florida and in Macon, Georgia. Which if course reminded me of the bikers in Bob's Burgers:damn. I thought they were from Georgia. Nevermind. I'm getting my cows confused or something.
"The azaleas are beautiful in Macon. Second only to their crank. That sweet Macon crank."
"What's crank?"
"Like meth's dirty cousin."
iirc she's not the first cow to (attempt to) sell these gross plastic rubberband bracelets for money. Honey, not even cute kids manage to sell those to their parents...
Seeing "for sell" used instead of "for sale" will never fail to drive me up a goddamn wall.
....wait so "Bryant" is a lesbian? These people are so hard to understand