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Being a Tradwife Means Going Back to a Time When Women Had no Autonomy and Were Fully Dependent on their Husbands
Being a tradwife is honorable if you abide by the cultural conception of a traditional monogamous wife.
My aunt, Florence, is a perfect example of a tradwife and to this day I admire her strength, patience and humility throughout her married life.
Aunt Florence got married at twenty years old. Her academic qualification stopped at high school which was standard six in 1951. She got married to my uncle when he was a houseboy and they raised six prosperous men and women.
My aunt never worked a day in her life. She dedicated her life to serving her husband and children. And when I say serve, I mean down to cleaning her husband’s shoes and washing his clothes. My aunt did all the chores until they were able to afford a housemaid many years later.
My uncle never lifted a finger in doing any household chores. He strictly provided for his family and delegated every other duty to his wife. I never heard of utterances of physical abuse either.
When my uncle became rich, his attitude didn’t change. He wasn’t loyal. He had mistresses some of which my aunt was aware of, but she never confronted him about it. If she did, it must have been in the confines of their bedroom because no one ever heard them quarrel.
As much as respect goes, my uncles did respect my aunt enough to not rob his affairs in her face. My uncle paid his wife monthly allowances aside from daily expenses so my aunt didn’t have a reason to work or complain about money.
Even to date, my uncle speaks highly of his wife. My aunt was a happy and dutiful wife. She had friends and was generous in giving. She helped raise her husband’s nephews and nieces when their dad died in a plane crash. My uncle was well-connected politically and religiously.
My home town wouldn’t be as developed as it is now if not for the likes of my daddy and my uncle. The two brothers were alike in many ways except my uncle was far more richer than my daddy. Both didn’t go to school but were hell-bent on giving their children a degree.
The last time I heard of my uncle, he was sick and bedridden. His wife takes all his calls, baths and feeds him. While his sons manage his businesses. My aunt has remained loyal to her husband even now she’s aged.
Whenever I remember my aunty, I get envious. Her marriage is over 50 years old but her love for her husband remains evergreen.
In the 1940s tradwives were happy and glamourized their status publicly. Men fortunate to marry a tradwife provided security and comfort to their wives.
However, some modern women claim to be traditional wives but expect their husbands to contribute to doing the household chores. Modern men, on the other hand, are not providing their wives with security and comfort.
Men who want tradwives lack the relationship quality to secure a tradwife. They have low-paying jobs, have no education, and lack emotional maturity and communication skills. They have no assets and the majority of them still live with their parents.
When I look at these men, I see their painstaking toxic male privileges written all over their faces. They want a traditional wife because these women are hard-core loyalists. They are the ride-or-die chic men use as come-up women.
It seems housewives are replacing the true identity of tradwives with a glamourized mix of feminism and traditional roles. When we speak of traditional wives, we mean women who lacked physical, financial, and spiritual autonomy.
Tradwives were the ideal women of the 1950s. Those days, men brought home the bacon, while women stayed home full time. They wore pinup dresses and stilettos, feeding a toddler with one hand and basting a turkey with the other. Women were unemployed, illiterate and had no say in the family and in the society.
People were expected to marry relatively young, have children, and stay together for life. Divorce was considered shameful, and those who did divorce often faced social ostracism.
These traditional gender roles might have provided a sense of security for some couples, making them less inclined to seek a divorce even if they were unhappy or struggling in their marriage.
Moreover, women’s limited economic opportunities made it difficult to support themselves independently should they leave their husbands. This lack of financial freedom further reinforced the idea that staying married was the only viable option for many people during this period.
This is why I grin at modern tradwives. The illusion that they can be the same tradwives as the 50s shows how ridiculous their expectations are.
Our economy has tripled and most households cannot survive on a single income. Not to mention that modern tradwives take jobs on the side — as social media influencers, online coaches, or they earn money by monetizing their videos.
Most modern tradwives are graduates. Some hold qualifications higher than their husbands. They cook, clean, and raise children but don’t get paid any allowance from their husbands so they get a part-time job to substitute monthly expenses.
Modern tradwives want their husbands to contribute to the household chores and negotiate their sexual responsibilities. They get out at any sign of infidelity and get paid for divorcing their husbands.
Now let’s talk about wealth allocation. Tradwives in the ’40s were not entitled to their husband’s assets. The man’s wealth automatically goes to his sons when he dies. But today, women are entitled to a 50 percent equitable distribution of their husband’s assets, and the tradwives are not exempted from family law and marital benefits.
You can be a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) without being a tradwife which is what modern tradwives are. However, if you are a married woman incorporating modern-day female rights, that includes, getting an education, having an income, receiving inheritance from your husband, and accepting divorce settlements then you are not a tradwife.
Stay-at-home moms who claim to be tradwives are deceiving younger women and portraying false identities which are incompatible with the modern world. Because most modern women won’t accept their husband’s infidelity as normal. And very few can allow their husbands to lord over them.
People argue that the divorce rate in the 40s, 50s and 60s was low because the tradwives honored their husbands, wishes and valued the marriage more. Whereas in hindsight, women couldn’t leave their marriages because they couldn’t afford the legal, religious and financial resources to leave.
Divorced women were shunned and accused of being the reason their marriage fell apart. They were treated like outcasts so to avoid the humiliation most married women stayed in bad marriages.
By all social standards tradwives relinquish their dignity as women if we are to judge them by the cultural expectations of an ideal woman.
I completely agree with Lori Alexander’s conception about traditional wives even though it’s triggering for me since I’m not an advocate of traditional marriages.
Lori expresses her knowledge about religion, culture and gender roles on her TikTok and Twitter accounts, “The Transformed Wife.” Lori encourages women to denounce feminism and be domestic, sexually appealing, and submissive to men.
She believes women exist for the sole purpose of pleasing their husbands and raising their children. She says it’s wrong to expect emotional support from your husbands because they’re too busy looking for money to fulfil their financial obligations.
Lori criticized married women working outside the home and said mothers shouldn’t send their children to school because it’s their job to educate their children themselves.
She doesn’t believe women should have voting rights because the right to vote is essentially the right to hold office, and women don’t belong in office. According to Lori, wives belong under their husbands’ thumbs.
I see why Lori’s persona of an ideal woman triggered most SAHMs. This is because they have been deceiving themselves with a false conception they cannot uphold.
Being a stay-at-home mom is entirely different from being a tradwife because you are contributing 50 percent of labour into raising your children as much as the man contributed financially.
But being a tradwife means going back to a time when women had no autonomy and were fully dependent on their husbands. Chasing such a dream is an illusion and deceit to oneself and the society at large.
Being a Tradwife Means Going Back to a Time When Women Had no Autonomy and Were Fully Dependent on their Husbands
Being a tradwife is honorable if you abide by the cultural conception of a traditional monogamous wife.
My aunt, Florence, is a perfect example of a tradwife and to this day I admire her strength, patience and humility throughout her married life.
Aunt Florence got married at twenty years old. Her academic qualification stopped at high school which was standard six in 1951. She got married to my uncle when he was a houseboy and they raised six prosperous men and women.
My aunt never worked a day in her life. She dedicated her life to serving her husband and children. And when I say serve, I mean down to cleaning her husband’s shoes and washing his clothes. My aunt did all the chores until they were able to afford a housemaid many years later.
My uncle never lifted a finger in doing any household chores. He strictly provided for his family and delegated every other duty to his wife. I never heard of utterances of physical abuse either.
When my uncle became rich, his attitude didn’t change. He wasn’t loyal. He had mistresses some of which my aunt was aware of, but she never confronted him about it. If she did, it must have been in the confines of their bedroom because no one ever heard them quarrel.
As much as respect goes, my uncles did respect my aunt enough to not rob his affairs in her face. My uncle paid his wife monthly allowances aside from daily expenses so my aunt didn’t have a reason to work or complain about money.
Even to date, my uncle speaks highly of his wife. My aunt was a happy and dutiful wife. She had friends and was generous in giving. She helped raise her husband’s nephews and nieces when their dad died in a plane crash. My uncle was well-connected politically and religiously.
My home town wouldn’t be as developed as it is now if not for the likes of my daddy and my uncle. The two brothers were alike in many ways except my uncle was far more richer than my daddy. Both didn’t go to school but were hell-bent on giving their children a degree.
The last time I heard of my uncle, he was sick and bedridden. His wife takes all his calls, baths and feeds him. While his sons manage his businesses. My aunt has remained loyal to her husband even now she’s aged.
Whenever I remember my aunty, I get envious. Her marriage is over 50 years old but her love for her husband remains evergreen.
In the 1940s tradwives were happy and glamourized their status publicly. Men fortunate to marry a tradwife provided security and comfort to their wives.
However, some modern women claim to be traditional wives but expect their husbands to contribute to doing the household chores. Modern men, on the other hand, are not providing their wives with security and comfort.
Men who want tradwives lack the relationship quality to secure a tradwife. They have low-paying jobs, have no education, and lack emotional maturity and communication skills. They have no assets and the majority of them still live with their parents.
When I look at these men, I see their painstaking toxic male privileges written all over their faces. They want a traditional wife because these women are hard-core loyalists. They are the ride-or-die chic men use as come-up women.
The Deceit Around Modern Tradwives
There have been too many misconceptions about feminism and how much it has ruined modern women’s lives. Now some women have begun the tradwife trend that has taken social media by storm.It seems housewives are replacing the true identity of tradwives with a glamourized mix of feminism and traditional roles. When we speak of traditional wives, we mean women who lacked physical, financial, and spiritual autonomy.
Tradwives were the ideal women of the 1950s. Those days, men brought home the bacon, while women stayed home full time. They wore pinup dresses and stilettos, feeding a toddler with one hand and basting a turkey with the other. Women were unemployed, illiterate and had no say in the family and in the society.
People were expected to marry relatively young, have children, and stay together for life. Divorce was considered shameful, and those who did divorce often faced social ostracism.
These traditional gender roles might have provided a sense of security for some couples, making them less inclined to seek a divorce even if they were unhappy or struggling in their marriage.
Moreover, women’s limited economic opportunities made it difficult to support themselves independently should they leave their husbands. This lack of financial freedom further reinforced the idea that staying married was the only viable option for many people during this period.
This is why I grin at modern tradwives. The illusion that they can be the same tradwives as the 50s shows how ridiculous their expectations are.
Our economy has tripled and most households cannot survive on a single income. Not to mention that modern tradwives take jobs on the side — as social media influencers, online coaches, or they earn money by monetizing their videos.
Most modern tradwives are graduates. Some hold qualifications higher than their husbands. They cook, clean, and raise children but don’t get paid any allowance from their husbands so they get a part-time job to substitute monthly expenses.
Modern tradwives want their husbands to contribute to the household chores and negotiate their sexual responsibilities. They get out at any sign of infidelity and get paid for divorcing their husbands.
Now let’s talk about wealth allocation. Tradwives in the ’40s were not entitled to their husband’s assets. The man’s wealth automatically goes to his sons when he dies. But today, women are entitled to a 50 percent equitable distribution of their husband’s assets, and the tradwives are not exempted from family law and marital benefits.
You can be a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) without being a tradwife which is what modern tradwives are. However, if you are a married woman incorporating modern-day female rights, that includes, getting an education, having an income, receiving inheritance from your husband, and accepting divorce settlements then you are not a tradwife.
Stay-at-home moms who claim to be tradwives are deceiving younger women and portraying false identities which are incompatible with the modern world. Because most modern women won’t accept their husband’s infidelity as normal. And very few can allow their husbands to lord over them.
People argue that the divorce rate in the 40s, 50s and 60s was low because the tradwives honored their husbands, wishes and valued the marriage more. Whereas in hindsight, women couldn’t leave their marriages because they couldn’t afford the legal, religious and financial resources to leave.
Divorced women were shunned and accused of being the reason their marriage fell apart. They were treated like outcasts so to avoid the humiliation most married women stayed in bad marriages.
By all social standards tradwives relinquish their dignity as women if we are to judge them by the cultural expectations of an ideal woman.
I completely agree with Lori Alexander’s conception about traditional wives even though it’s triggering for me since I’m not an advocate of traditional marriages.
Lori expresses her knowledge about religion, culture and gender roles on her TikTok and Twitter accounts, “The Transformed Wife.” Lori encourages women to denounce feminism and be domestic, sexually appealing, and submissive to men.
She believes women exist for the sole purpose of pleasing their husbands and raising their children. She says it’s wrong to expect emotional support from your husbands because they’re too busy looking for money to fulfil their financial obligations.
Lori criticized married women working outside the home and said mothers shouldn’t send their children to school because it’s their job to educate their children themselves.
She doesn’t believe women should have voting rights because the right to vote is essentially the right to hold office, and women don’t belong in office. According to Lori, wives belong under their husbands’ thumbs.
I see why Lori’s persona of an ideal woman triggered most SAHMs. This is because they have been deceiving themselves with a false conception they cannot uphold.
Being a stay-at-home mom is entirely different from being a tradwife because you are contributing 50 percent of labour into raising your children as much as the man contributed financially.
But being a tradwife means going back to a time when women had no autonomy and were fully dependent on their husbands. Chasing such a dream is an illusion and deceit to oneself and the society at large.
