Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Sniperwoof]

I hate that I know what this means, do they make cans of Whiskey and such?

I've seen canned cocktails, whiskey coke, vodka mule, old fashioned ect at gas stations but I live in Wisconsin which I'm fully aware has a weird culture that isn't representative of the U.S as a whole so no idea if that shit exists in Baldo land.

 

[Spergichu]

At least Ralph promised an entire season of sobriety. He didn't deliver of course, but still.

 

[indomitable snowman]

We should have a lolcow bet. Who will stick with their new year diet longer:
a. Jack Scalfani and his new Carnivore only diet
b. Nick Rekieta and his month of sobriety

 

[WelperHelper99]

I've seen canned cocktails, whiskey coke, vodka mule, old fashioned ect at gas stations but I live in Wisconsin which I'm fully aware has a weird culture that isn't representative of the U.S as a whole so no idea if that shit exists in Baldo land.

In Utah over here that sounds Haram. Nick should move to Utah. Hard Liquor is only sold at bars and State Liquor Stores. Hopefully his hate for government and the fact that money would directly go to the state would get him to stop drinking. Very optimistic, I know

 

[RotPockets]

i always thought the thing about providing for his wife and her "bearing him children." just such a gross way to describe someone you literally don't know.

 

[Seafarer]

What is it with cows and pills? Seriously? You're already drinking one of the hardest drugs on the planet that wont immediately kill you, which is what Alcohol is, now you want to slip in benzos and coke to roll that dice of death. I'm not surprised with Nick, it's just really, really stupid

Low-impulse control, and of course:

Spoiler

 

[Sewer Rat]

this whole "no drink january" is such bullshit, he's done it before. He will just get a glass and say it's orange juice and it will probably have some vodka mixed in with it, or have a non transparent cup and drink from there

 

[Harm]

Surely by planning it this far in advance, he'll have ample time to order a breathalyzer to use on-stream to own the haters by proving he's not drinking in secret. He can afford a waterproof phone for texting men after midnight in Minnesota motels, he can afford a functional breathalyzer. Instead of doing toasts with an alcoholic beverage for donations, he can do "toasts" and then blow into the breathalyzer for donations.

Even Ethan Ralph could obtain a breathalyzer while in his Mexican crack shack. The lawyer who buys $10k art on a whim can definitely locate a breathalyzer.

 

[miss ethanol]

I think the sobriety month is a lose-lose situation for Nick because if he actually tries, he will be angry, pissy and irritable that anything would set him off, imagine his fagginess going up to 11, he will become a time bomb and his family will likely be the victims, which might set off the divorce arc. If he keeps drinking then he will be a liar lying who lies, which won´t affect him because his fans are low IQ retards.

My real bet is that he will get drunk off stream or will use legal language to keep drinking and still be right, something like "I said I will be sober in January, but didn´t specify the year" and look all smug.

My shot in the dark bet is he will develop a piss drinking fetish because he will ask the bulls to drink alcohol and he will drink their piss just to get some of it in his system.

 

[Goofy Logic]

@mindlessobserver or whoever the moderation is, I think a poll on how long Nick would stay sober is in order

 

[PixarsTedKennedy]

He was brought into some sort of local religious social group not too long ago. His reaction was that it was impossible for those subhuman scandinavian prudes & "monsters" (his word) to relate to a famous youtuber like Nick or the life he leads. Nick generally fights against any effort to get him support by claiming that other people cannot possibly function at his level or relate to his life.

I went to church with a Microsoft millionaire for a while. He dressed like a painter who just got off work painting a house, and funded hundreds of mission trips for teens. Funny how someone who helped build Windows 95 could be so down to Earth and friendly yet a non-practicing lawyer who just drinks and tells boring ass stories is somehow untouchable.

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

BREAKING NEWS!

Edit: Is it just me, or is balldo doing more news / law topics?

 

[AnOminous]

If he is able to just get through some shows in January without obviously drinking on-camera, that would be quite an accomplishment. He could easily start drinking again at any time and pretend otherwise. But getting through several entire full-length show without drinking would be tough for him I think.

No, I want more of the red-noseed guy whose nose keeps growing and growing while he keeps crying and crying like an absolute pussy about his First World Problems. I want to see him slurring his words while practically falling out of his chair, with his eyes bugging out and him eating a single Dorito (why is that so iconic) and staring at the camera and not realizing he's just a pathetic circus geek.

Edit: Is it just me, or is balldo doing more news / law topics?

Too late, faggot, too late. You're now an object of fun, not a source of information.

 

[Mordecai "3 Finger" Brown]

What's the consensus for why this Sober January announcement came about?

He had a sloppy drunk stream the day before the announcement. But nothing particularly noteworthy took place.

He talked shit about Eric July with EVS for two hours the other day after the settlement, so there's no contrition about the 7-hour cope stream. Similarly, there's no contrition with Sean's struggle session or Null.

So what changed?
- Rumble contract renewal?
- Kayla asked him to stop? Threatened divorce?
- recent local intervention?
- Rekieta parents saying something?
- new health scare?
- DUI?
- fellow Lawtuber intervening - Branca ? Camelot?
- Dick bending Nick's ear?

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

What's the consensus for why this Sober January announcement came about?

He had a sloppy drunk stream the day before the announcement. But nothing particularly noteworthy took place.

He talked shit about Eric July with EVS for two hours the other day after the settlement, so there's no contrition about the 7-hour cope stream. Similarly, there's no contrition with Sean's struggle session or Null.

So what changed?
- Rumble contract renewal?
- Kayla asked him to stop? Threatened divorce?
- recent local intervention?
- Rekieta parents saying something?
- new health scare?
- DUI?
- fellow Lawtuber intervening - Branca ? Camelot?
- Dick bending Nick's ear?

A particularly bad hangover. This dude no longer has higher brain functions, it's just fire bad.

 

[AnOminous]

Even Ethan Ralph could obtain a breathalyzer while in his Mexican crack shack. The lawyer who buys $10k art on a whim can definitely locate a breathalyzer.

Doesn't he pay as much as $30K on Velvet Elvis level shit? Didn't he actually boast about that?

 

[Null]

There was a video he put out about how there's no way to fight accusations he's an addict, then goes off on a huge list of reasons why.

It was conspicuous to me that he did not mention going sober for a while to prove he could. In private, I speculated it was him being afraid mentioning it would get people on board with the idea, and get simply didn't want to invite the problem.

I think that this rant raised the same thoughts in his audience, and they challenged him in to do it in discord or something.

 

[Agent of Misinformation]

What's stopping Nick from looking like this?

View attachment 5593379

View attachment 5593380

View attachment 5593385

https://twitter.com/thevivafrei/status/1739677420305678383

His ego. Rekieta then would have to take accountability about his physical and mental health. He wouldn't like admitting to his audience he's at a low point in his life.

 

[Sewer Rat]

View attachment 5597179
BREAKING NEWS!

Edit: Is it just me, or is balldo doing more news / law topics?

probably related to the rumble contract renegotiation, he probably got a positive response, with the condition of actually do law related content (remember that when the whole Trump trials started he openly said that he hated it and was extremely boring for him to cover Trump news, and now he is suddenly ok with it?)

 

[Chibitzen]

There was a video he put out about how there's no way to fight accusations he's an addict, then goes off on a huge list of reasons why.

It was conspicuous to me that he did not mention going sober for a while to prove he could. In private, I speculated it was him being afraid mentioning it would get people on board with the idea, and get simply didn't want to invite the problem.

I think that this rant raised the same thoughts in his audience, and they challenged him in to do it in discord or something.

But remember, you're the one who was supposed to be influenced by your audience.

So what changed?
- Rumble contract renewal?
- Kayla asked him to stop? Threatened divorce?
- recent local intervention?
- Rekieta parents saying something?
- new health scare?
- DUI?
- fellow Lawtuber intervening - Branca ? Camelot?
- Dick bending Nick's ear?

Most of these?

View attachment 5597179
BREAKING NEWS!

Edit: Is it just me, or is balldo doing more news / law topics?

I just assumed these descriptions were being written to advertise himself better to Locals/Rumble decision-makers for renewal time.