[00:00.000 --> 00:03.000] Well, hello. What a long break that was.
[00:03.000 --> 00:07.000] I've been gone for half a day, I think.
[00:07.000 --> 00:12.000] Alright, so I'm going to talk about this whole situation
[00:12.000 --> 00:15.000] that obviously I don't even have to mention what it is.
[00:15.000 --> 00:19.000] So if there's one thing I regret the most,
[00:19.000 --> 00:23.000] it's impulsively coming on here and doing that livestream
[00:23.000 --> 00:26.000] talking about my private matters online.
[00:26.000 --> 00:29.000] I can assure you with regards to my marriage
[00:29.000 --> 00:32.000] that will never happen again.
[00:32.000 --> 00:35.000] The internet, especially when you are me
[00:35.000 --> 00:38.000] and you have dozens of vultures waiting for any scraps,
[00:38.000 --> 00:40.000] you throw their way.
[00:40.000 --> 00:43.000] The internet is not a place to open up
[00:43.000 --> 00:45.000] if you want a healthy relationship.
[00:45.000 --> 00:48.000] I learned that the hard way so many times.
[00:48.000 --> 00:51.000] Regardless, all would have come to light anyway,
[00:51.000 --> 00:55.000] but my reaction could have been to have handled it in private.
[00:55.000 --> 00:58.000] So, I had a decision to make.
[00:58.000 --> 01:00.000] I had a lot of thinking to do.
[01:00.000 --> 01:02.000] I've been unable to sleep,
[01:02.000 --> 01:05.000] only thinking about it when I try to fall asleep
[01:05.000 --> 01:08.000] and just feeling alone and far away.
[01:08.000 --> 01:10.000] So, I'll just come right out and say
[01:10.000 --> 01:12.000] I've decided to make my marriage work
[01:12.000 --> 01:15.000] and I will tell you why.
[01:15.000 --> 01:18.000] Number one reason, just plain and simple,
[01:18.000 --> 01:20.000] it's the fact that I love Salah.
[01:20.000 --> 01:23.000] I love him on a level which I have never loved anyone before
[01:23.000 --> 01:25.000] because of how he treats me.
[01:25.000 --> 01:27.000] Every single emotion,
[01:27.000 --> 01:30.000] no matter how corny it may have looked to some
[01:30.000 --> 01:32.000] in our couples' videos, they were real.
[01:32.000 --> 01:34.000] Edited, yes, but real.
[01:34.000 --> 01:37.000] This man opens doors for me,
[01:37.000 --> 01:39.000] the car door every time we go somewhere.
[01:39.000 --> 01:41.000] I've never had to open a car door.
[01:41.000 --> 01:44.000] We are together 24-7 when in Kuwait
[01:44.000 --> 01:47.000] and he treats me like a queen.
[01:47.000 --> 01:49.000] I've never felt safer.
[01:49.000 --> 01:52.000] I know you will all laugh at that, but I'll get to that.
[01:52.000 --> 01:55.000] And I've also never felt more provided for
[01:55.000 --> 02:00.000] and loved and cared about in this particular way,
[02:00.000 --> 02:02.000] which brings me to the treatment.
[02:02.000 --> 02:04.000] I mean, it's royal.
[02:04.000 --> 02:06.000] I am treated like a queen
[02:06.000 --> 02:09.000] and he has never once been abusive
[02:09.000 --> 02:11.000] or yelled at me or anything.
[02:11.000 --> 02:14.000] So, to say just because he has a fetish,
[02:14.000 --> 02:18.000] he is an evil man, is just not true
[02:18.000 --> 02:20.000] because the proof is in him treating me amazing
[02:20.000 --> 02:22.000] for over a year.
[02:22.000 --> 02:25.000] And I did know about some fetishes he liked,
[02:25.000 --> 02:27.000] but it didn't really go anywhere
[02:27.000 --> 02:30.000] and we just adopted our own intimacy style.
[02:30.000 --> 02:32.000] I don't judge him on those fetishes
[02:32.000 --> 02:35.000] because in his real everyday life, not fantasy,
[02:35.000 --> 02:38.000] he's an amazing man who would not hurt anyone.
[02:38.000 --> 02:42.000] Well, maybe he would kung fu a few dickheads, but yeah.
[02:42.000 --> 02:47.000] So, I mean, my next main reason is because in Kuwait,
[02:47.000 --> 02:50.000] I do feel like a princess because of how loving
[02:50.000 --> 02:52.000] and attentive my husband is.
[02:52.000 --> 02:57.000] The next thing, this is a one-time occurrence.
[02:57.000 --> 03:00.000] I'm not naive and will say for certain
[03:00.000 --> 03:02.000] it will never happen again.
[03:02.000 --> 03:07.000] But if it does, I'm prepared to deal with the consequences.
[03:07.000 --> 03:09.000] I want to give another chance.
[03:09.000 --> 03:11.000] Nothing has happened like this before
[03:11.000 --> 03:13.000] because, well, I just have my ways of knowing,
[03:13.000 --> 03:15.000] which I won't go into,
[03:15.000 --> 03:18.000] but even the screenshots that were revealed
[03:18.000 --> 03:22.000] between him and the skank show Salah saying,
[03:22.000 --> 03:25.000] he has never talked to any other woman, et cetera, et cetera.
[03:25.000 --> 03:28.000] So, he was being open at that moment,
[03:28.000 --> 03:30.000] so I believe he was being honest.
[03:30.000 --> 03:32.000] So, when I weigh the good versus bad,
[03:32.000 --> 03:35.000] which is this one incident,
[03:35.000 --> 03:39.000] I think our love and marriage is worth saving.
[03:39.000 --> 03:42.000] He is very sorry and is willing to make it up to me
[03:42.000 --> 03:44.000] in every way possible for as long as it takes.
[03:44.000 --> 03:47.000] I don't want to break up our family over this.
[03:47.000 --> 03:50.000] This incident has revealed that we need to communicate better
[03:50.000 --> 03:53.000] our intimate wants and needs and feelings.
[03:53.000 --> 03:56.000] We will work on our personal marriage privately.
[03:56.000 --> 03:59.000] Now, the amount of hate I've been getting
[03:59.000 --> 04:01.000] over taking back my husband
[04:01.000 --> 04:04.000] is just ridiculous and insane, if I'm being honest.
[04:04.000 --> 04:08.000] So, the key term I want to focus on is my marriage.
[04:08.000 --> 04:13.000] M-Y space M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E.
[04:13.000 --> 04:16.000] Not the internet's marriage.
[04:16.000 --> 04:19.000] Not the haters' marriage, my marriage.
[04:19.000 --> 04:21.000] Which means, other than this mishap,
[04:21.000 --> 04:24.000] no one knows much about my marriage at all.
[04:24.000 --> 04:26.000] Heck, a lot of you are still speculating
[04:26.000 --> 04:29.000] on whether we are even married at all or not.
[04:29.000 --> 04:32.000] So, it's safe to say that behind closed doors,
[04:32.000 --> 04:35.000] no one really knows the dynamic and how we treat each other.
[04:35.000 --> 04:37.000] Period. But I do, though.
[04:37.000 --> 04:39.000] And I live my life.
[04:39.000 --> 04:41.000] I share it, but in the end, I live it,
[04:41.000 --> 04:43.000] and the only right you have is your opinion,
[04:43.000 --> 04:45.000] which, without the experience of living my life,
[04:45.000 --> 04:47.000] is not very credible.
[04:47.000 --> 04:49.000] I appreciate all your support, I really do,
[04:49.000 --> 04:51.000] but when it comes to life,
[04:51.000 --> 04:54.000] I have a right to make decisions that are fully my own.
[04:54.000 --> 04:58.000] Salah is an amazing man, but he is also human,
[04:58.000 --> 05:00.000] just like every one of you.
[05:00.000 --> 05:03.000] Though some, I'm not sure anymore, are actually human.
[05:03.000 --> 05:05.000] I'm talking about gore world.
[05:05.000 --> 05:07.000] But anyway, he's not perfect.
[05:07.000 --> 05:09.000] YouTubers are not perfect, far from it,
[05:09.000 --> 05:11.000] and that's why you're even watching me.
[05:11.000 --> 05:14.000] But I will tell you, if you're watching for a train wreck,
[05:14.000 --> 05:16.000] you will be watching for a long time,
[05:16.000 --> 05:18.000] because this train just keeps going.
[05:18.000 --> 05:20.000] It hasn't stopped yet.
[05:20.000 --> 05:22.000] I know you're hoping for a crash,
[05:22.000 --> 05:24.000] but you know why it never happens?
[05:24.000 --> 05:26.000] I have safety features, my friends.
[05:26.000 --> 05:28.000] It's called God.
[05:28.000 --> 05:30.000] And praying and giving my stresses to him
[05:30.000 --> 05:32.000] and appreciating bad moments
[05:32.000 --> 05:34.000] and only thinking how I can grow from them.
[05:34.000 --> 05:36.000] So, all in all, the good in our marriage
[05:36.000 --> 05:38.000] greatly outweighs the bad.
[05:38.000 --> 05:41.000] We have built a nice little life together as a pet family,
[05:41.000 --> 05:43.000] and it's cozy and loving,
[05:43.000 --> 05:46.000] but nothing and no one is perfect.
[05:46.000 --> 05:48.000] And I am willing to look past this,
[05:48.000 --> 05:50.000] provided it does not happen again.
[05:50.000 --> 05:52.000] And like I said, if it ever did,
[05:52.000 --> 05:54.000] I'm prepared to deal with the consequences.
[05:54.000 --> 05:57.000] So, going forward, I will mostly be doing content
[05:57.000 --> 05:59.000] that involves close to no personal life stuff.
[05:59.000 --> 06:02.000] I want to do videos on cooking, healthy travel and vlogs,
[06:02.000 --> 06:04.000] and shopping hauls,
[06:04.000 --> 06:07.000] and really becoming obsessed with being a new me.
[06:07.000 --> 06:09.000] You know, boring stuff, I guess.
[06:09.000 --> 06:11.000] Anyways, thanks for listening.
[06:11.000 --> 06:13.000] I know most will not understand this decision,
[06:13.000 --> 06:15.000] but you don't have to.
[06:15.000 --> 06:17.000] For those who do and continue to support me,
[06:17.000 --> 06:19.000] I thank you.
[06:19.000 --> 06:21.000] I have seen comments of people saying
[06:21.000 --> 06:23.000] they will stop watching me if I choose to save my marriage.
[06:23.000 --> 06:25.000] Well, you are free to do as you wish,
[06:25.000 --> 06:27.000] and so am I.
[06:27.000 --> 06:29.000] Now, I want to touch on something important, actually.
[06:29.000 --> 06:33.000] I know some people will think I'm weak for forgiving him.
[06:33.000 --> 06:35.000] I gave this a lot of thought
[06:35.000 --> 06:37.000] and realized that
[06:37.000 --> 06:39.000] it actually takes a lot,
[06:39.000 --> 06:41.000] and I mean a lot of strength,
[06:41.000 --> 06:43.000] to go through the motions of forgiveness
[06:43.000 --> 06:45.000] for something like this.
[06:45.000 --> 06:47.000] It takes inner strength to control your emotions
[06:47.000 --> 06:49.000] enough to think rationally
[06:49.000 --> 06:51.000] about the situation
[06:51.000 --> 06:53.000] and evaluate our relationship
[06:53.000 --> 06:55.000] and its worth as a whole.
[06:55.000 --> 06:57.000] It takes strength to forgive someone for wronging you.
[06:57.000 --> 06:59.000] It takes strength
[06:59.000 --> 07:01.000] to hold it together
[07:01.000 --> 07:03.000] when everything is falling apart.
[07:03.000 --> 07:05.000] Oh, and the big question here
[07:05.000 --> 07:07.000] is,
[07:07.000 --> 07:09.000] once a cheater, always a cheater?
[07:09.000 --> 07:11.000] I don't believe so,
[07:11.000 --> 07:13.000] because this is a term that has
[07:13.000 --> 07:15.000] actually been debunked.
[07:15.000 --> 07:17.000] But also, men can grow
[07:17.000 --> 07:19.000] and change, and I'm hoping this is
[07:19.000 --> 07:21.000] the case here. And if not,
[07:21.000 --> 07:23.000] I'll deal, like always.
[07:23.000 --> 07:25.000] Guess I'll find out eventually if my choices were a good thing.
[07:25.000 --> 07:27.000] Actually, here are some facts
[07:27.000 --> 07:29.000] that may shed
[07:29.000 --> 07:31.000] some light on this situation.
[07:31.000 --> 07:33.000] Infidelity affects one
[07:33.000 --> 07:35.000] in every 2.7 couples, and
[07:35.000 --> 07:37.000] most, 65%
[07:37.000 --> 07:39.000] to 70% stay together after.
[07:39.000 --> 07:41.000] Most
[07:41.000 --> 07:43.000] partners engaged in infidelity
[07:43.000 --> 07:45.000] actually want to stay in their
[07:45.000 --> 07:47.000] relationships.
[07:47.000 --> 07:49.000] So it's not, again, a situation that's
[07:49.000 --> 07:51.000] black and white, and
[07:51.000 --> 07:53.000] unless you're living it and you are in
[07:53.000 --> 07:55.000] this relationship,
[07:55.000 --> 07:57.000] you don't really have a right to tell me what to do with my own life.
[07:57.000 --> 07:59.000] Or even get personally
[07:59.000 --> 08:01.000] affected by my decisions.
[08:01.000 --> 08:03.000] We're not tight like that, okay?
[08:03.000 --> 08:05.000] Anyway, I just really
[08:05.000 --> 08:07.000] miss the Middle East and my family
[08:07.000 --> 08:09.000] there, and I wish
[08:09.000 --> 08:11.000] you all a happy new year,
[08:11.000 --> 08:13.000] and see you in the next one.
