DSP Plays Balding Gate 3

[Fapcop]

here we go boys, new post because im too lazy to edit the other one and jannies exist for this reason

Primo recaps dood!

Big thanks from all of us mouth drooling MORAHNS who can only tolerate limited exposure to DSP.

 

[Corpun]

I feel like we should have a poll for how long the TIHYDP will be once he drops the game. Already feels like it will be 5 hours minimum with how much idiocy and handholding he has done.

 

[LiquidCancer]

Imagine a counter for each time he glances at chat

 

[myone]

I feel like we should have a poll for how long the TIHYDP will be once he drops the game. Already feels like it will be 5 hours minimum with how much idiocy and handholding he has done.

length depends a whole lot on whether the TIHYDP also references all the lunatic "owning da trolls" rants from the pre-stream... for khantext.

 

[Corpun]

Imagine a counter for each time he glances at chat

Counter for "Let me make a save"
Counter for "Chat what do I do?"
Counter for "That's bullshit that should have hit!"
Counter for "I died???!?!!!!?!!??"

Also I hear there are moments you can lose companions in this game permanently. Can't wait for him to kill Karlach or Lay-Zel or some other tank.

 

[JimiHendrix]

Can't wait for him to kill Karlach or Lay-Zel or some other tank.

don't see this happening. he'd need to side with the goblins to lose karlach or just completely ignore lay-zel to lose her. MIGHT lose shadowheart, but I mean, if he never uses her, who cares?

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

I feel like we should have a poll for how long the TIHYDP will be once he drops the game. Already feels like it will be 5 hours minimum with how much idiocy and handholding he has done.

He's got a dent whose agreed to ensure he hits $100 each stream, it won't be shelved before that stops.

 

[clothes in my closet]

"How is everyone coming by to talk about my years of content today? Weird!"

 

[Wasabi Panda]

this is fascinating, he can't retain information. He keeps forgetting Halsin, has no idea whats going on but then acts like cause he did something in the game everyone else screwed up.
like the shadow druids, if you didn't do the shadow druids then you screwed up and they took over the grove...yeah I mean if you ignore the whole grove/goblin conflict, you know the entire conflict of act 1.

or he had healing gloves sends them to SH, then says "I had gloves, where did they go" then "Oh yeah I game them to LA'Zel, they aren't there, then remembers he game them to SH.

Moves on to something else for like a thought then "where'd the gloves go I gave them to LA'Zel where oh I gave them to SH"

even better is the completely fake, like American sitcom writer's take on a videogame streamer amount of faking it hits at least the vest goal and then he's start whining and bitching about the game like NPCs talk to the closest party member is a "bullshit mechanic"

drink responsibly kiddos

don't see this happening. he'd need to side with the goblins to lose karlach or just completely ignore lay-zel to lose her. MIGHT lose shadowheart, but I mean, if he never uses her, who cares?

it depends if it's clownmode tough guy phil who gets off on shit talking lines of code programmed to play pre-recorded lines of dialogue or fake engagement syde phil. Tough guy syde phil will kill LAY-ZEL when she puts a knife to his neck or he might lose either LAY-ZEL or SH when they fight in camp cause he's an idiot who don't know how humans, even lines of code for NPCs in a game interact.

side note...
mother fucker thinks a reflection and shadow are the same thing and was talking like vampires are real and not fictional with rules that needs a little suspension of disbelief.

 

[JimiHendrix]

Spoiler: bald gate ramblings

"i was thinking lore wise, but if wyll is tied to that demon, i already forgot her name, wouldn't it make sense if he died?

wouldn't she have prevented him from dying? because she needs him? so if he dies she would probably revive him."

demons aren't gods, withers can revive as a gameplay mechanic.

phil tried to pause the cutscene so he could ramble, only to discover you can not pause cutscenes in this game. he was displeased.

phil has some how completely misconstrued Gale's storyline? i have no idea how he did this. Gale's story is he fell in love with Mystra
he wanted to be with her completely and on her level, so he tried to use pure magic to prove himself to her, it backfired and fucked him up.
Phil has SOME HOW taken this and come out with "Gale was lying to Mystra and manipulating her to steal her power and failed,
so she put a blackhole in him as punishment."

this is beyond media illiteracy. this is advanced retardation

"you get no experience from lock picking? that's lame. you should totally level up."

"how the hell does a creature not have a reflection just because of a mutation?"

it's a magical fictional thing?

"there we go, we got out of it without having to go too crazy, although it was still stupid."

phil really doesn't like talking to Astarion.

he is now just struggling with the quest log. it's very boring and i nearly blacked out.

"so just like everything, there's good and evil. so the druids also have good and evil"

amazing insight, phil.

he's now fighting the Shadow Druids with Kagha, it's really just a bunch of sperging about missing his attacks, but he outnumbers his enemies
by like, a lot, it's literally like 8 v 3, so i doubt anything funny is gonna happen.

"a miss with 88% chance, a nice miss, i love it."

phil sees a child being menaced and decides to stand by and do nothing, this resulted in the child being backhanded across the face.
phil was very amused by this, i wonder why.

"alright, we difussed it"

no you didn't. you stood by and let the situation escalate and literally got an orphan slapped. that was a horrible way to handle that situation.
I handled it by actually talking to the NPCs and the guy didn't slap the child, he actually felt sorrow for the kid and allowed them to keep the pendant.

after 30 hours phil has encountered goblins.

"uh, how about you go fuck yourself? i'm not going to put shit on my face, you fucking asshole."

honestly thought phil would be more enthusiastic about this.

phil threw shit in the goblins face and now must fight the goblin outpost.

phil has hit save limit again, third time in the past 10 hours, so now we're deleting files on stream. looking at his save file times, he saves
literally almost every 3-6 minutes. i would upload a pic for you guys to see, but i can't access kiwifarms, so.

after 31 hours phil has arrived at the goblin camp.

he got to the goblin camp and aside from some sperging over dice rolls nothing happened. no fights.

in four hours he confronted Kagha and the Shadow Druids and made it to the Goblin camp after 34 hours. that's it.

 

[Balr0g]

Wait are you talking about that tiefling child in the Druid cove? Isn't that like 3-4 hours in the game (if you go straight to the Druid cove)? I had that scene and I convinced Kragha (i think that was her name) to let her go with a speech check against Nature lore or something like that. And I just played like 4 hours or so

 

[Whaler]

mother fucker thinks a reflection and shadow are the same thing and was talking like vampires are real and not fictional with rules that needs a little suspension of disbelief.

He did the same thing with Elden Ring when he tried to explain how casting and launching magic attacks work in the real world and not in vidya gaemz.

 

[Corpun]

He did the same thing with Elden Ring when he tried to explain how casting and launching magic attacks work in the real world and not in vidya gaemz.

He does this with attacks in the game too. Phil thinks every attack when you face someone should be a guaranteed hit because that's how it works in real life. His "That wouldn't work in real life" excuse is the most retarded excuse he has.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

He does this with attacks in the game too. Phil thinks every attack when you face someone should be a guaranteed hit because that's how it works in real life. His "That wouldn't work in real life" excuse is the most retarded excuse he has.

Given that people with low IQs don't understand abstract concepts it's no surprise that he doesn't understand that the to-hit percentages in games like this are only abstractions. Another funny "muh realism" cope I remember is from CoD when he got killed by someone who ran at him with a shotgun and Phil said that in real life the "idiot" who would run and fire a shotgun would "fall flat on his ayuss" which makes me think that Phail's knowledge of guns comes from Bugs Bunny vs Elmer Fudd cartoons.

 

[Derich 2nd of coomland]

Aside from that one time he shot and killed T with a .38 revolver, Phil has no fucking clue about guns. And I think that his successful kill was more down to sheer luck that any real skill.

During CoD he was also spazzing about being killed close range by a guy with a sniper rifle, he got really pissy about it. Something about sniperrifles can't be used at short range or some such retardation

 

[Battlefield2142EU]

this is fascinating, he can't retain information. He keeps forgetting Halsin, has no idea whats going on but then acts like cause he did something in the game everyone else screwed up.

You know what’s really sad? He probably not even the worst at playing BG3. Especially the gamer girl thots on twitch. If DSP was a girl. DSP would be a millionaire and fatter.

 

[Love Is Blue]

If DSP was a girl

PHILIPPA WHY DIDN'T YOU LIKE MY TWEET
PHILIPPA IT IS PRONOUNCED DARE RICH
NOT DEREK
PHILIPPA WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?
DID YOU KNOW THAT SUPER MARIO 2 IS CALLED DOKI DOKI PANIC

 

[Keith the Horse Fucker]

Given that people with low IQs don't understand abstract concepts it's no surprise that he doesn't understand that the to-hit percentages in games like this are only abstractions. Another funny "muh realism" cope I remember is from CoD when he got killed by someone who ran at him with a shotgun and Phil said that in real life the "idiot" who would run and fire a shotgun would "fall flat on his ayuss" which makes me think that Phail's knowledge of guns comes from Bugs Bunny vs Elmer Fudd cartoons.

Phil uses a hand cart for groceries. The idea that someone can carry something that weighs over 5 pounds and run is impossible to him.

 

[Impossible Brutality]

Phil uses a hand cart for groceries. The idea that someone can carry something that weighs over 5 pounds and run is impossible to him.

The fat retard is out of breath coming back from the bathroom. ANY physical movement or effort is momentous to him. Hopefully next BalDENT Gate stream, the game rejects pigroach luck and fucks him.

 

[Wasabi Panda]

he's such a narcissist that he doesn't want to side with the goblins not cause innocent tieflings would be slaughtered but because of all the work HE did to save the druids would be undone and tells "olsin/holsin/hailsin" to stay behind cause HE wants to do it on his own

Also, his acting is best of the worst teir, "OH...my...gosh it is a bear who could the bear be. Look gais, it's a bear, who is it" which is fascinating he knows things like this, there's a way to recuit minth without siding with her but forgets you see Voldo when y ou get to the goblin camp saying the map spoiled it with the map marker for the quest to save Voldo!?

HOLD UP...

when asked who his waifu is he had a super defensive meltdown rant

When he gets to the part where Abdirack, a servant of the Maiden of pain, who likes to whip people in a pleasurable way. Phil even thinks the man is a "goddess", he's all giddy and excited.


riiiiiiiiiiight

I don;t think he's teh geh, I think he's just that sexually ignorant...though calling getting a guy off by letting him whip you is "silly things" romancing karlach/minth/Lae'zel/SH he's too good for something so silly only losers with no life or spouse do that.