The Julays Ninth Annual Lolcow Awards 2023 - Which lolcow will claim the throne?

[Meat Target]

No child, Fatrick is Lolcow of the Year. The tranny catfish was a Russian hacker. Enjoy prison.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Patrick really can't win at anything

well he is the fattest and the dumbest and the crappiest writer and he's far and away the best at paying Quasi

not even mentioning his culinary expertise

 

[WEEKEND]

My boy Bossman was robbed! Ain't no way some shyster hooknose homo beat him. How much is my homie gonna lose? I demand a recount.

 

[A Man on Fire]

Nicky’s going to Disneyland!

 

[Sicko Hunter]

Rekieta is a boring drunk and he absolutely did not deserve lolcow of the year.

 

[Love Is Blue]

FUCKING RIGGED SHIT DUDE
NULL PULLED THE SWITCH

 

[RL Steinbeck]

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I AM NOT GOING TO WEAR THE FUCKING BALLDO
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Not a huge BMJ watcher, but that AI video was fucking wild and hilarious.

Question: was he actually that fat at one point?

Edit: Also, have the full results been posted yet, or am I just retarded and missing it?

 

[TheDarknessGrows]

You did it, Nick!!

You really did it.

 

[The Second Numidium]

Rekieta has the special distinction of being the first lolcow I followed before I knew he was a lolcow. Watching the Rittenhouse and Depp trials, I enjoyed seeing a principled family man with a platform give his reasonable takes on the proceedings.

Then I saw a whiskey bottle clenched between his pasty butt cheeks and I never watched him stream again.

 

[Londo]

RATS IN THIS CHAT. JUICE ME BRO.

OCCUPY THE FARMS!

 

[2ndBest]

Damn I wanted Tomlinson to win. What does Nick get as an award?

 

[Pie]

Well done Nick, have a shot and celebrate you drunken bin bag of a human being!

 

[The Bovinian Derivative]

FUCKING RIGGED SHIT DUDE
NULL PULLED THE SWITCH

Null didn't reply to Nick's messages because he was too busy bringing in unregistered forum users to rig the vote. #StopTheSteal

 

[HatredOfScissors]

Am I the only person that finds Rekieta incredibly fucking boring? He's a fallen off drunk who occasionally does weird sexual degenerate stuff which is funny but not nearly extreme or frequent enough compared to other lolcows.

I actually find law stuff interesting but even so I always skip his segment on MATI.

In my heart bossmanjack is the true LOTY

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Damn I wanted Tomlinson to win. What does Nick get as an award?

A solid gold balldo and he gets to watch Big Man Tyrone creampie all Lady Rackets's holes

 

[Baked Al-Aqsa]

To me, Nick is a great winner because of the cautionary tale that comes with him. Nobody is immune to becoming a lolcow. You don't have to be born a retard. Sometimes, you can be beloved and respected and due to poor choices devolve into a lolcow.

In the meantime, enjoy prison stalker children.

 

[trash cat]

 

[Bruno Powroznik]

So, what building do we to have to stand infront of to protest the results and subsequently get thrown into the pee pee poo poo rape dungeon for the next 10 years.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Voted for our boy LossmanJack bc personally I got the most constant entertainment from him but after the catfish reveal it was clear that Rekieta would win.

Imagine getting catfished by some weirdo who is doing it for how long now? 16 gorillion years or so? And imagine doing a victory lap after the "narrative of le evil Kiwi Farms" get destroyed just to be proofen wrong by these Kiwi Farms rascals.

Also I completely missed the whole balldo story until one friendly farmer explained it to me. That alone is LOTY worthy. Rekieta, what a fucking retard.

But he only deserves 1/3 of the award. 1/3 goes to MANdy and 1/3 goes to incredible autistic Kiwi Illuminaughty which uncovered the catfish. Great job!

 

[Morrowind: GOTY Edition]

Bossman was robbed man. Nick is just so goddamn boring to follow. A drunken retard who streams himself sloshing around in the hot tub occasionally is nowhere near as funny to me as a crack-addicted gambling addict that can go from 6k up to broke in 4 minutes.