The Julays Ninth Annual Lolcow Awards 2023 - Which lolcow will claim the throne?

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Who should become Lolcow of the Year?

  • Dylan James Mulvaney / Days of Girlhood

    Votes: 201 6.1%
  • Ethan Ralph / Gunt

    Votes: 89 2.7%
  • Patrick Sean Tomlinson / Stealthygeek

    Votes: 581 17.5%
  • Austin Curtis Peterson / Bossmanjack

    Votes: 621 18.7%
  • Nick Rekieta / Rekieta Law

    Votes: 1,142 34.4%
  • Liz Fong-Jones / Elliot William Fong

    Votes: 353 10.6%
  • Cyrax / Chance J.F. Wilkins

    Votes: 93 2.8%
  • Keffals / Lucas Roberts / Clara Sorrenti

    Votes: 238 7.2%

  • Total voters
    3,318
  • Poll closed .
I will admit that the best thing about Nick winning is that he's the only front runner that will acknowledge his win and generate content over it. Fatrick and BMJ would have most likely ignored it. Balldo will either sarcastically celebrate it or talk about how retarded the whole process is.
 
Dong-gone's so pathetic she got cucked by an alcoholic coomer after trying to use her version of political capital (which is essentially bitching at people) to get it's way.


Poetic.
 
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Bosskeida
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Rekieta earned LOTY in 2023. Yes, it didn't hurt that the man who had catfished Nick for years accidentally leaked his phone number on Christmas morning as a literal Christmas gift to the Rekieta thread, but Nick was already well on track to win anyway, and that was just the poetic icing on the cake to an insane year which proved he deserved the title.

For those who don't believe Rekieta earned Lolcow of the Year, I made a 12 minute supercut of Rekieta throughout the year to honor his massive election win.
NICHOLAS ROBERT REKIETA, Your Lolcow of The Year:
Nick's Year In Elissa's Clips (In Twelve Minutes)

(with apologies to Barry Manilow)

In honor of Rekieta storming to victory in the Lolcow of the Year voting, I put together this highlight reel of what 2023 was like in the Nick Rekieta thread.
(I tried to fit in as much as I could into 12 minutes, but missed a bunch of storylines, like his seethestreams where he blamed @Himedall All-seeing Waifu's passive, hands-off documenting on the thread of Nick's public chatroom on the website Locals for putting a stop to wine moms/men pretending to be hot women online posting lewds in the chat.)

(After posting that, it was reuploaded by @elb on her channel if the local copy is buffering.)

BTW:
Shane and Drexel got robbed in the Fresh Meat category. :(

I voted for Drexel mainly because of the detail in the OP, but Shane was hilarious in the first couple months he was around.
 
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I remember Nick Rekieta's first appearances on The Dick Show, where he presented himself as a wholesome paternal alternative to the purgatorial bachelor party atmosphere fostered by a balding pseudo-Mexican, who was shortly to adopt a rag-tag band of morbidly obese sexual degenerates and paedophiles as his posse. Rekieta may retroactively claim that he was never the pillar of the Christian community that he appeared to be, and that what we all witnessed was an optical illusion created by the light playing across Dick's receding hairline. In hindsight he is man who sheds his skin every year or so, where each instar is more regressive than that which preceded it. Watching him dismantle his present and his once bright future, one bottle-lick at a time, has been compelling because, despite his work effort in this area, he still has a long way to fall. It is entirely plausible that by the end of the year he could be sharing a cabana with Ethan Ralph.

As to his closest rivals, BossManJack, while promising, needs to develop into something more than an individual who wins and then loses large sums of money, and who has taken domestic violence to a new level by literally beating up his own room.

Fatrick, had he come out on top, would deny he had won and instruct you to enjoy prison. I think he would need to go to prison himself to win Lolcow of the Year.
 
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Congrats to the winner.

Personally I voted for Pat, I feel like most cows go through a year of sowing, then a year of reaping. This was Nick's year of sowing with the deteriorating professional relationships, complete audience shift, ego death and of course the building of a truly destructive drinking habit.

This isn't to say he hasn't provided some great content this year, It was just my view that the real stuff that would put rekeita into lolcow of the year status would probably come next year when all these things he has set the stage for this year come to fruition. Things like open marriage and family collapse, health issues, paypig leaks etc. You can see this sort of arc perfectly with ralph. Recall that there was one year when the drinking went really out of control, the faith tape dropped and he got abandoned by everyone, but it was the next year, the Chaggot stuff, the kingpin international, the Jim turn, weekly pillstreams, death scares and finally the double Portugal beatdown that he truly ascended to lolcow of the year status.

For me this was Patricks year of reaping, from the criminal record stuff, to the open robe police encounter, to swinging at the cop, finally to paying quasi. Years of sowing as a drunk twitter retard all reaped in real life content this year.

I of course don't mean to cast any feelings of sour grapes, its just to say that if you think this was rekeita's year, at his current trajectory I think people will look back and just see this as the ramp up to his real lolcow year. The Best is Yet to Come as they say.
 
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Just finished counting it. It was ONE VOTE apart in the end. Audrey "Aiden" Hale won with 86 to Fred L. "Bubba" Copeland's 85.
As a Bubba Bro, I'm sad to see it turn out this way. I nominated Ms. Hale for the dead category so it's a bit ironic. I'm also sad that both candidates were troons who did incalculable damage to their community, but at least Bubba didn't kill anyone but himself. A good, close race.

I am hoping this year I can finally vote for Steven Assanti for best dead cow.
 
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I'm just happy the goonclown thing didn't win tbh, that was horrific. Kinda surprised faggot-dream won though, I'd have thought cyrax getting his ass beaten was an easy first place.

if BMJ manages to not off himself, 2024 is his for the taking. Fatprick, as usual, has fumbled it. Then again if he'd won, he'd have denied it anyway. Enjoy prison voters.

edit; hate my life!!!! good night guys!!!
 
In my heart, it was the Year of Pat.

But Rackets getting catfished by a dude for over 10 years is a bit to rival Josiah Munoz. It would only have surpassed Apostlegate if Nick had had a similar freakout upon discovering it.

It was a 4th-quarter upset, but a fair and square one nonetheless. GG Balldosisters.
 
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For me this was Patricks year of reaping, from the criminal record stuff, to the open robe police encounter, to swinging at the cop, finally to paying quasi. Years of sowing as a drunk twitter retard all reaped in real life content this year.
I think he's going to have a worse 2024. I think there's going to be way more fallout from the Leslie Varney thing than he has any idea about.

He's really no better or no worse off than he was at the beginning of 2023, but the chickens come home to roost soon. He still had one (pathetic) con appearance in 2023 but if he has another it promises to be a real disaster.

I don't think he paid Quasi himself, because he's a broke dick motherfucker with no money. It was paid for him, so he hasn't felt the pain yet.

I wonder if they'll pay the second, better judgment too.
 
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