Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Uber driver reviewer]

A kidney failure arc would be quite nice, even though it’d be completely predictable. We all know that Jack would treat dialysis as the sole measure needed to maintain himself, and would make zero changes anywhere else. He’d dutifully (though begrudgingly) go to the clinic 3-4 times a week, and then pig out just the same as he is now once he leaves.

What I’m wondering about is the degree to which his health would need to dramatically fail in order for him to lose the energy to continue posting on social media or YouTube. His rampant narcissism ensures that he’d walk waddle bitch at Tammy to wheel him over broken glass to get his fix. IIRC, once he was out of his coma after his last serious hospitalization, he posted a pic of hospital windows from a wheelchair. YouTube postings would almost surely be the first to run dry, owing to the extra effort needed. But he will definitely continue whining on Facebook as long as he’s able to use a smartphone- he would have to be comatose or in a state of sickness that precludes him from any activity outside of lying down in extreme pain in order for that to stop.

Jack would love dialysis treatments because he could then goad Tammy into taking him to Arby’s, Popeyes, etc

Jack is fucking haunting me. Can’t even watch science videos in peace. 10:37

Spoiler

Imagine living a long, full life, and then becoming a synonym for demented cooking because of a troll recipe you did as a joke to see if your glutton of a relative would eat literally anything as long as it has sugar and fat.

jack says that aunt Myrna “isnt doing so well”. Sad that Jack will outlive that ebullient old lady.

On the topic of tertiary Scalfani’s…apparently Jack’s younger brother Jim (pig nips) Scalfani is looking for a room to rent. He is ok with grandmas so maybe @Mersh can take him in…

 

[StoopidFookingHamsterFace]

Damn, catching back up with the old boy
Imagine searching youtube for diets that you could possibly try to get those extra pounds off after the holidays, and you stumble on these videos in the search results.

By default I think anyone would subconsciously be trying to justify veganism after looking at these. Never will change and godspeed into the great eternity beyond

"Any questions you got, look it up on the internet first" - Man who doesn't trust doctors after multiple strokes; still surviving on the bodies of dead things like a vampiric husk.

 

[AnOminous]

By default I think anyone would subconsciously be trying to justify veganism after looking at these. Never will change and godspeed into the great eternity beyond

Imagine looking at an ugly, morbidly obese faggot with so much brain damage from multiple strokes he can barely keep a single eye open and slurs like he's drunk off his ass from damage to his speech centers, and thinking this guy is someone to take diet advice from, when on top of it, the advice is eat nothing but fat, lard, grease and MOAR MEAT!

 

[lindsayfan]

Jack's hate-dom for Dunkin Donuts is the strangest thing.

it does seem bizarre and arbitrary. who gives a shit about dunkin donuts? it's a decent drive-through to get a massive iced coffee and a gross/yummy breakfast sandwich if you're a miserable commuter on your way to wageslave, but jack's not a lowly worker, he's an entrepreneur. anyway i thought jack's set were supposed to hate (union-busting, pro-zionist) Starbucks, for being 'woke.'

i'm kind of surprised he came across dunkin donuts, since he lived in california and then tennessee. according to their website they're nationwide at this point but i always thought of them as a northeastern chain. i agree krispy kreme would make more sense as a love-hate obsession. maybe there is or was a dunkin just down the street from him and he got fixated on it because of that.

 

[Pig Cups]

Ewwwww…

Based on the minimal information out there concerning Jim, I just figured he was a decent, hardworking man who happened to be gay, and whose asshole brother effectively and undeservedly shunned him for it.

Just once, it’d be nice to see an example of a gay dude who isn’t a degenerate faggot, but I guess that‘s damn near impossible. Nipple suction play? You know it doesn’t end there. I’d wager he’s also into gift giving/bugchasing, CBT, large insertion, PnP, cultivating his rosebud, etc.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

At least Jim is in good shape and looks way younger than his actual age, unlike his fat fuck brother

 

[GloriousRapeRabbit]

Oh ffs....Well not all scalfanis are gluttonous fatties, but holy shit the Scalfani family sure has some shit genes. Another trash Scalfani....how surpricing.

Hopefully Jr:s homosexuality prevents him from knocking Brianna up....that genome needs to be ridden of the world.

 

[Skwisgaar Skwigelf]

The year is 42069; humanity is but a shadow of its former self.

The few remaining tribes of humans are scattered far across the globe.

Many tribal beliefs curse the the ancient pillars of stone and steel; cracked monuments to the hubris of the Old Ones.

Still, there are those who search the rubble of the old world, despite the warnings of the tribal elders. Seeking scrap, ancient treasure, or forgotten knowledge.

Today, a strange and anchuent slate is discovered in the desert. It is imbued with tales and visions of the past.

With a sweep of his hand, the lone wanderer brushes the dust off of the ancient tome, and thus spoke the first words of a long dead civilization:

"HEY GUYS! JACK SCALFANI HERE AND YOU'RE COOKING WITH JACK!"

 

[Rod Dangerous]

Just once, it’d be nice to see an example of a gay dude who isn’t a degenerate faggot, but I guess that‘s damn near impossible. Nipple suction play? You know it doesn’t end there. I’d wager he’s also into gift giving/bugchasing, CBT, large insertion, PnP, cultivating his rosebud, etc.

Let’s ask @Baby Yoda.

 

[semitooth]

check out those nips holy fuck

 

[lindsayfan]

check out those nips holy fuck

they're definitely troubling and i'm very angry that i've been indirectly prompted to contemplate what jack's nipples look like

...but holy fucking shit is that dude actually 54 years old? are those recent pics? what is the story with that torso?
("it's simple. if it's cum, you eat it. if it's not, you don't")

 

[boxybum]

Jim has a very good body for 54. I'm honestly impressed he managed to power through the shitty Scalfani genes and take care of himself.

 

[Dead Air]

Jim has a very good body for 54. I'm honestly impressed he managed to power through the shitty Scalfani genes and take care of himself.

He didn't get away unscathed.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

On the topic of tertiary Scalfani’s…apparently Jack’s younger brother Jim (pig nips) Scalfani is looking for a room to rent. He is ok with grandmas so maybe @Mersh can take him

The fact that he needed to show an almost nude picture of himself means he's not just looking for a room but it's an advertisement for all the gay boys out there.

By default I think anyone would subconsciously be trying to justify veganism after looking at these.

Veganism might be a little extreme. But one good way to lose weight reasonably quickly is to go vegetarian. Jagoff would be much better off if he did this instead of eating MOAR MEAT every day.

Jim has a very good body for 54. I'm honestly impressed he managed to power through the shitty Scalfani genes and take care of himself.

It's like Charles is thin so my guess is that Fatty is the only one in the family that has really shit genes and it's because he has a different dad than his brothers.

 

[You're MDNWU]

On the topic of tertiary Scalfani’s…apparently Jack’s younger brother Jim (pig nips) Scalfani is looking for a room to rent. He is ok with grandmas so maybe @Mersh can take him in…

He honestly looks like your typical trashier old gay guy from California.

Wonder if he wears diapers or takes medication.

 

[Pig Cups]

check out those nips holy fuck

That’s the result of specialized nipple suction devices designed to stimulate and engorge the tissue. Some people take it a step further by applying suction to the whole breast, like Pig Norman Summerton does.

To be fair, nipples are an erogenous zone for both sexes, and both sexes (gay or straight) can derive great pleasure from nipple play. Nothing wrong with that, but as mentioned earlier, Jim’s willingness to broadcast something like that publicly is indicative of him ascribing to a lifestyle of perversion that runs far deeper.

Jim has a very good body for 54. I'm honestly impressed he managed to power through the shitty Scalfani genes and take care of himself.

Could just be the Magic Johnson Diet…

Wonder if he wears diapers or takes medication.

I would be very surprised if Jim is unacquainted with protease inhibitors and the diligence required to maintain an undetectable viral load. Most of the older gays who still fuck like they’re 20 (to the point of posting ads like Jimbo) tend to be pozzed.

 

[Mundane Ralph]

WING WARS

 

[p1138]

WING WARS

Ok, so we've got Fat on the Go and it doesn't say it's from before his carnivore diet. Where does he go? A wing joint...

2 people, 12 wings and a catfish plate for Tammy. It's just Fatty and Tammy. Oh, and of course fried okra with the wings.
Bitches about not knowing why the TV is blaring. Probably because the place looked dead and people were trying to watch it before Fatty scooted in.
1:10 That is one of the saddest looking side salads I've ever seen in my life. Iceberg lettuce, a fistfull of shreddy cheese, and a sprinkling of diced tomato is not a salad. Has 2 tubs of blue cheese dressing to dump on it. Then shows some fried catfish. Also, that looks like a soda cup visible on Fatty's side of the table... HMMMMM
1:20 Fatty tries to skip over his breaded and fried okra, but fails.
2:10 holds a blurry wing up to the camera "reel gud, no red, the bone isn't cracked", shoves wings back into camera after taking a bite, still can't focus for shit.
2:20 already in the car. They spent what, 60 seconds showing the food? jfc...
2:30 Tammy mentions the Okra even though it was on Fatty's plate. Sure she probably had some, but come on, we know Fatty ate it.
2:45 B+. He really likes this new letter "B" he learned about after Brianna rated a place a B. Flavor was A, wings were small, not enough GUD MEAT.
3:36 editing fuckup showing food again for half a second?

 

[rubytintedchix]

View attachment 5640380

This sounds an awful lot like someone cheated.

WING WARS

Further proving my point above here’s a screenshot of the receipt from the recent FOTG:


Taken on 1/4 @ 6:30ish PM.

What part of the animal does the fried okra come from, Jack? Also, to jog your memory we didn’t get any numbers on 1/4. Interesting. Wonder why.

 

[Eternal Gopnik]

What part of the animal does the fried okra come from, Jack?

Maybe he mixed up okra and orca?