Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[dustnight]

This morning I learned from r/biggestproblem (yes, that's a thing) that the only reason why @elb does her clip channel is because she's an "Eric July devotee" and she is looking to assuage her white guilt.

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Also, it may interest you to know we're all Southern Baptists.

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How y'all doing today? PRAISE JESUS!

Honestly who of us hasn't driven the kids to school in a ford mustang midwinter while drunk?

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

Nick did a day LOCALS stream making breakfast:

- He opens the stream shirtless and mid-excuse for the show being short last night to make breakfast for his wife. He made bacon, scrambled egg, and toast. We learn about their egg preferences. Bagged eggs are gross

- We get a view of his counter. Looks like a lot of alcohol bottles.

- He showed his tattoo that is specifically n interpretation of Gadsen flag. He didn't want the traditional serpent becuase it looked weird. He might add splashes of yellow ro allude to the flag.

- Chat said he looked unhealthy. Nick said he is at his uni weight and 10% body fat.

- He had to keep an eye out for children and nanny to keep them off camera.

- He did something 'stupid' while in the Cities yesterday with his wife. He had 1 hour of sleep, so he took Provigil. But his wife has a family member heavily into MLM. He tried one of the energy pills that was 'basically cayenne pepper powder'. It triggered his allergy.

- The wet sounds of whisking below the camera as his hands moved was unintentionally hilarious.

- Nick thinks the Kardashians have formed the ideal for cosmetic surgery. It makes things easy for surgeons becaue they are aiming for the same look and less work. He does not like it, but people can do what they want. He doesn't think people know this, but he has noticed.

- Nick did a show last night because he hates cancelling. People/companies/algorithms also hate inconsistent shows. He likes the chaos.

- His current time slot was chosen when kids were young and he was homebound in the evenings. Now he and his wife have more freedom to go out on the spur of the moment and they are taking advantage of it. Someone aid he has more 'unexpected events' than anyone they know and his reaction was 'I know right!' with a seemingly straight face.

- He has plans to reduce night show and a 'consumate number of daytime shows' to fit his schedule better. (He meant 'commensurate')

- Nick thinks it wouls be funny for a competition where guys strap up with cameras and compete to get cat-called by women.

- Apparently he is going to do a collaboration with the neurotic RealDragonLady from LOCALS. This is the one who over-shared about their husband's ED and lack of sex life, asking for Nick's advice. She is conatantly messaging him and Nick is constantly promising tk get back to her

 

[Harm]

There's far more to health than weight. Nick is an alcoholic who almost never drinks any water. Damage from that will be reflected elsewhere besides your weight. Drinking your calories often puts you at a caloric deficit, hence the weight loss, but you're stripping your body of nutrients and failing to replace what's been lost day after day, month after month, year after year. Your heart, bones, brain, and the list goes on.

 

[Pomniman]

You drink isopropyl alcohol?

I've read about even dumber shit where old timey hobos and winos used to somehow drink sterno and call it "jungle juice". Listerine also seemed like the drink of choice for the truly indigent and fucked up in the 40s. This is the type of stuff only complete basket cases who can't afford or access real liquor do.

 

[Potatoherder]

- He has plans to reduce night show and a 'consumate number of daytime shows' to fit his schedule better. (He meant 'commensurate')

So he realized he is a 50 year old man and shouldn't be staying up until 4am talking about sucking off other dudes?


It's a shame i didn't catch his first morning stream to see if rumble had a better turnout compared to night hours. The views seems about the same which seems like total bs but that is just rumble.

 

[huckbeine]

Protip: Steam them in the Instant Pot. No boiling pot to watch and the shells peel off like Nick’s panties when MANdy enters the chat.

additionally, just steam them for 8-10 minutes. the yolk will be soft~medium creamy goodness

 

[John Andrews Stan]

There's far more to health than weight. Nick is an alcoholic who almost never drinks any water. Damage from that will be reflected elsewhere besides your weight. Drinking your calories often puts you at a caloric deficit, hence the weight loss, but you're stripping your body of nutrients and failing to replace what's been lost day after day, month after month, year after year. Your heart, bones, brain, and the list goes on.

Alcohol is also massively dehydrating. Your cells need hydration to function properly and when they don’t get it, all kinds of shit starts going haywire. That’s also why he looks like a cadaver. His body is parched. And that’s before you take into consideration that the closest he gets to eating fresh produce is his daily candy “meal.” Peanuts are a legume, therefore Snickers bars are salads!

 

[huckbeine]

Imagine being stepped on by a bunch of mid 5s that think they are 7s /8s.

weebs though will rate any women that interact with them a 10 though.

 

[Pippa's Greasy KB]

- He has plans to reduce night show and a 'consumate number of daytime shows' to fit his schedule better. (He meant 'commensurate')

This nigger streams 3 night a week. What the fuck is he gonna reduce? Might as well do a complete switch. Go muscle in on legal vices turf. See if they're still buddy buddy for long.

- He did something 'stupid' while in the Cities yesterday with his wife. He had 1 hour of sleep, so he took Provigil. But his wife has a family member heavily into MLM. He tried one of the energy pills that was 'basically cayenne pepper powder'. It triggered his allergy.

A new allergy?

- Apparently he is going to do a collaboration with the neurotic RealDragonLady from LOCALS. This is the one who over-shared about their husband's ED and lack of sex life, asking for Nick's advice. She is conatantly messaging him and Nick is constantly promising tk get back to her

Ass up in bottle days are back on the menu boys!

 

[AncientPhosphur]

- Nick did a show last night because he hates cancelling. People/companies/algorithms also hate inconsistent shows. He likes the chaos.

I think he just hates shows and want you to give him money for his comedy and intelligence right after he gets done talking about all the sex and freaky shit he did in college

 

[feral cat #6385]

Protip: Steam them in the Instant Pot. No boiling pot to watch and the shells peel off like Nick’s panties when MANdy enters the chat.

additionally, just steam them for 8-10 minutes. the yolk will be soft~medium creamy goodness

There's about a million ways you can make hard boiled eggs. In a pinch you can "hard boil" them in a toaster oven. My preferred method is to insert them in a pot of boiling water and vinegar. Leave in boiling water for 8-10 minutes. Works just as good as steaming and the vinegar breaks down the shell making them easy to peel.

- We get a view of his counter. Looks like a lot of alcohol bottles.

THOSE DAM KIDS LEAVING THEIR BOOZE BOTTLES ALL OVER!

- Nick did a show last night because he hates cancelling

The only thing he is good at is blowing off shows.

His current time slot was chosen when kids were young and he was homebound in the evenings. Now he and his wife have more freedom to go out on the spur of the moment and they are taking advantage of it.

I'm sure there's loads to do in Spicer Minnesota after midnight. This guy is so immature it's unreal. I don't get the whole acting like a teenager when you are pushing 50 thing.

he has more 'unexpected events'

Sounds like consent accidents with his children.

He has plans to reduce night show and a 'consumate number of daytime shows' to fit his schedule better. (He meant 'commensurate')

Too late. Other LawTubers have eaten his lunch on trial streams and any serious legal discussion. He is nothing more than a clown.

Apparently he is going to do a collaboration with the neurotic RealDragonLady from LOCALS.

Sounds like something no one is asking for.

Shinji has adorned the Living Room cage in which Donye lies with some notes. The yellow ones (ニスインパリス) read "Niggas in Paris" and the two white ones (ゲイ) mean "Gay."

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Taken from the Fishtank thread. These would be perfect for Nick's next tattoo.

 

[Captain Manning]

While Nick implodes further Legal Vices is currently interviewing Maya Kowalski's lawyer.

That's actually a pretty good catch on LV's part. Hopefully it went well. I might actually give it a listen when I get a chance.

If Nick were doing it, he'd show up late and drunk, and then think it's funny to ask how absorbent Maya's diapers were. Followed by, of course, him incoherently trying to explain how much the entire case reminds him of the 1999 Academy Award™ winning film, American Beauty.

 

[Mike Stoklasas Spock Ears]

Nick said he is at his uni weight and 10% body fat.

There is no way.

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

talking about all the sex and freaky shit he didn't do in college

FTFY

 

[miss ethanol]

He showed his tattoo that is specifically n interpretation of Gadsen flag. He didn't want the traditional serpent becuase it looked weird. He might add splashes of yellow ro allude to the flag.

His shitty tatoo looks worse than anything that Anisa has, and that is a really high bar to clear.

He did something 'stupid' while in the Cities yesterday with his wife. He had 1 hour of sleep, so he took Provigil. But his wife has a family member heavily into MLM. He tried one of the energy pills that was 'basically cayenne pepper powder'. It triggered his allergy.

This fag can go on a hot tub for a full stream and not trigger his allergy, but a fucking MLM snake oil pill does.

Nick did a show last night because he hates cancelling. People/companies/algorithms also hate inconsistent shows. He likes the chaos.

He is a lying liar who lies. Also I hope he thinks the same about chaos after Monty fucks him in court.

His current time slot was chosen when kids were young and he was homebound in the evenings. Now he and his wife have more freedom to go out on the spur of the moment and they are taking advantage of it. Someone aid he has more 'unexpected events' than anyone they know and his reaction was 'I know right!' with a seemingly straight face.

All I got from this is that it confirmed (again) that Nick has never taken seriosly any job becuase he can just not go to work (or stream) and he will be ok, because he is a trust fund child.

 

[Chibitzen]

How y'all doing today? PRAISE JESUS!

REPENT, sinner!

- He did something 'stupid' while in the Cities yesterday with his wife. He had 1 hour of sleep, so he took Provigil. But his wife has a family member heavily into MLM. He tried one of the energy pills that was 'basically cayenne pepper powder'. It triggered his allergy.

This man isn't an addict but he sure does rely on substances to solve all his problems. What the fuck is an "energy pill"? Is he retarded? Take a known supplement if you have to rather than putting random trash into your body, faggot.

- Chat said he looked unhealthy. Nick said he is at his uni weight and 10% body fat.

More like 10% humility.

- Nick thinks the Kardashians have formed the ideal for cosmetic surgery.

What an odd thing for a man to say.

- He has plans to reduce night show and a 'consumate number of daytime shows' to fit his schedule better. (He meant 'commensurate')

He must've gotten his Provigil reupped then.

 

[Balldo's Gate]

This is an interesting observation. It will be interesting to see if the pattern continues. He might take his holiday and decide to 'start fresh' on new plans for the channel (forgetting all the plans he had before). It is like bi-annual New Years' resolution breaking.

This has happened before, the cycle lasts about 6 months from peak to trough, the previous "troughs" in terms of Rekieta Law being a serious channel being the post-Gay 90s Discord lockout stream in late December 2022, the Mandy stream in late May, and then the stream a month ago where he was totally wasted, and the peaks being in January 2023 with the Murdaugh trial, June 2023 when he was going to drink less and start a in-depth interview series and do tons of stuff for Locals like the theology streams and "how to be a streamer" streams, and then now where he's pretending to be serious again for Rumble.

The last two times, he has struggled to keep the act up for more than a month or two.

The big question mark is the Rumble contract. It seems pretty obvious that his concern about the Rumble contract is influencing this specific pull-up. Nick actually following through on a morning makeup stream is basically unprecedented for him.

- He did something 'stupid' while in the Cities yesterday with his wife. He had 1 hour of sleep, so he took Provigil. But his wife has a family member heavily into MLM. He tried one of the energy pills that was 'basically cayenne pepper powder'. It triggered his allergy.

@elb?

 

[Pomniman]

What an odd thing for a man to say.

This along with the anorexia he keeps advocating and whimpering from bright lights Elissa posted today makes it feel like it's impossible for him to not be the biggest queer to ever queef.

 

[AltisticRight]

This morning I learned from r/biggestproblem (yes, that's a thing) that the only reason why @elb does her clip channel is because she's an "Eric July devotee" and she is looking to assuage her white guilt.

It's not because Eric July delivered all his campaign promises and more, and it's not because his detractors are a bunch of unfunny faggot queers trying to fuck with his business for no reason at all, none of it.

Because something White girl Black penis whatever, fucking mutts.

Also, it may interest you to know we're all Southern Baptists.

So sobriety is a Christian concept now, guess I should convert.
I hope God turns every Redditor into a salt pillar.

 

[Hyacinth Bucket (Bouquet)]

Re: The new Elissa clip.

I don't know why, but the "so hard to stream" whine just fucking kills me. Does he honestly think that most people with five children work LESS? They work more, because the little bastards are always eating or outgrowing their shoes. And it's normal for the children of trial lawyers to not see a lot of their lawyer parent for a few weeks at a time. So what? People go to war, Nick. People go to sea.