The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[JoeBidenSniffMe]

It’s a 36 acre ranch. It goes without saying that there’s large animals buried. Unless there’s a bunch of little white crosses with things like “Pepe” on them, no-one will ever know. RIP.

The only way to find out is to do a survey around the area and find out if there is a mass grave.

 

[Delamain]

I wonder how much of a kickback the realtor is getting from the multiple shamans that are required to calm down the land not to mention the alpaca ghosts

 

[namvata]

There needs to be a horror movie about someone who bought the tranch and gets haunted by the ghosts of dead alpacas

 

[Harambe]

You're quite optimistic to assume that anyone would buy that shitheap and insure it. Any given inspector worth their salt would reject and report every fire and health hazard.

I can't give you enough rainbows for that, just one has to do.

Maybe yr right but someone is gonna end up owning it, and someone is gonna end up torching the whole place out of madness and anger

 

[Thumb Butler]

The only good thing about this is the land will probably become someone's beautiful family home and hopefully it becomes the nicest ranch in Colorado.

It's more likely to turn into a real life The Shining. All play and no work makes Kevin a dull boy.

 

[Meat Target]

There needs to be a horror movie about someone who bought the tranch and gets haunted by the ghosts of dead alpacas

It's more likely to turn into a real life The Shining. All play and no work makes Kevin a dull boy.

Don't make out with the hot naked chick in the bathtub. "She" reveals herself to be Kevin after you do.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

There needs to be a horror movie about someone who bought the tranch and gets haunted by the ghosts of dead alpacas

The Trans Witch Project

 

[Procopius]

Paul awakens from his slumbers. Not sure why he bothered, really. But even glampers have the decency not to piss on the carpet.

https://nitter.net/EntrancingStars/status/1749432054708572269

The tranch has long ago entered the realms of urban legend.

https://nitter.net/confirmedterfs/status/1748374808319152469

Can something really be said to be dead if it lives on in so many hearts, minds and memes.

 

[Nate Higgers]

Electrical gore in the Zillow listing:
View attachment 5653142

NEC 110.12 isn’t just a fucking suggestion. I have no idea who did that but I guarantee that’s a massive fire hazard waiting to pop off.

Not only that but depending on the laws and codes for that area, they might not even be able to sell the property until someone goes in and either fixes or undoes that godawful hackjob. No inspector in their clear and sober mind would sign off on that.

 

[Buttercream]

Jesus fucking Christ the stains
View attachment 5653220

Filthy inhabitants aside, why in the name of Christ do people carpet their bathrooms?

 

[Diabeetus69]

Filthy inhabitants aside, why in the name of Christ do people carpet their bathrooms?

TBH, I think it has a lot to do with temperature and age.
I remember when I was growing up in the north, it was not uncommon for bathrooms furnished/built in the 70's and 80's to have carpeted bathrooms, especially if the inhabitants were old.
In the winter, the floors could get really cold and old people don't usually like that....so they'd carpet the bathrooms.
Now, it was incredibly nasty and needed to be cleaned and disinfected on a regular basis, which is why most people abandoned carpeting for rugs that can be picked up and thrown in the washing machine.
That's my theory at least.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Imagine creating a Kiwi Farms Stronghold on top of the Tranch.

There'd be a server barn with unlimited redundancies. The entrance will have a bronze statue of Null carrying a baby Alpaca. The larders will be stocked with Dill and Banana Peppers.

It'll be secured with machine gun nests.

A man can dream.

Gigantic dinosaur sniper nest!

 

[AngeloTheWizard]

Ive seen worse on Zillow listings, but this would be a prime candidate for JelloApocalypse on his Terrible Zillow Listing streams. "We got dead alpacas, a busted stove, a toilet with mystery carpet stains and the general sense that something terrible happened here, are you ready to buy?"

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

See also Hammer City and Freedom Acres Ranch.

I don’t know why Colorado attracts these types in particular. Sadly the state has been overrun.

There needs to be a horror movie about someone who bought the tranch and gets haunted by the ghosts of dead alpacas

I’d fully expect it to result in a ghost of a homicidal alpaca that eats human fingers.

 

[Ted Kaczynski]

I just put in a bid FYI. I’m going to turn the whole place into a Nazi gooning farm. That’ll show those trannies.

 

[️ronic]

I say buy the buy the property and convert it into the National Alpacacaust Museum. People will come from far and wide to learn about the atrocities committed by the Troozies on God's chosen pack animals. Admission will be $41.
Remember the 60!

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

I don’t know why Colorado attracts these types in particular. Sadly the state has been overrun.

I'd assume because it's cheap because of the weather?

 

[Rain Team Pepe]

*Slaps phone out of potential buyers hand*
Realtor: "Hey, it's a nice piece of land, no need to google it"

 

[Questionable Ceviche]

Jokes aside I would actually be worried about groundwater contamination there, not just from alpaca grave pits but also from the illegal dumping they did on the property. Lord knows what kind of household/agricultural chemicals, cleaning agents, and engine fluids they dumped in lieu of disposing of them properly.

 

[Archeopthryx]

Is the refrigerator part of the place? Old time refrigerators lasts forever.