Off-Topic Troon sightings in the wild

[Die Oberste Direktive]

I don’t doubt it was, but a 6’5” troon in clown make up at Walmart? He must be getting gawked at all day and worse. With how sensitive the average troon is no idea how he hasn’t quit that job or even roped. Maybe he’s very new?

Hopefully not too much of a powerlevel but I live in rural Minnesota and the Walmart in question was in not-rural Minnesota. I have many troon sightings/interactions on a regular basis but this one was just funny to me and I felt like sharing.

 

[thejackal2]

There's this troon at my gym, total fucking AGP. He has moobs from the horse piss but in every other way is a stereotypical gym bro with the AGP. He works out in purple or pink trainers, thigh highs with tight ass shorts that don't fit him, a sports bra and has his greasy disgusting troon hair pulled back in a pony tail with the brightest colored hair ties he can find.

You can almost feel the deviance throughout the gym when he's in there.

 

[Fapcop]

Oh boy, I’m glad this thread exists because I haven’t been able to share this yet. And I think it’s worthy of (some) publicity.

For quick context without doxxing myself or acting like a retard, I WFH in SaaS as a manager of a specialist team. We usually hire in house due to the specialized nature of the software, which means we get a whole variety of retards thinking they’re fit for the job when they’ve failed every KPI to their name.

Well I’m conducting interviews on Monday this week and HR puts a “Denise” on my schedule. No problem, I just want this to be over after the 10th interview of the day. So I join the video call, and behold, a fuckin troon with makeup, shaved sides of his head, and a fucking trans flag badge on his T-Shirt (yes not a pin, a badge. like you’d get in 2nd grade. And yes, a fuckin t-shirt for an interview). I knew instantly that little shit wasn’t getting the job since their kind is notorious for internal pot-stirring and I ain’t getting fired because of some wrong pronoun BS.

I hurried up through the questions, 20 mins before the end of the interview, and open the floor to him. He proceeds to ask me if our team is “inclusive”, if we have any allies on the team currently, and what the pay is if he needs to use his short term disability (I shit you not). Absolutely zero questions normal people ask, like about the job, responsibilities, pay, etc.

So while not that great of a story compared to most of y’all’s, I still felt someone of sane mind could get a kick out of it.

Very based! Thank you for your service and gatekeeping!

Troons, whether pooners or AGP freaks are all narcs and users.

Just a casual look on somewhere like Reddit tells you that they’re constantly and exclusively looking out for number 1: Always talking about getting jobs at specific companies to pay for their surgeries, how to scam the insurance company or employer best and get the most paid time off because of their bullshit.

Or even worse: Talking/planning about cutting off their parents and family, but having to wait because they pay for their college.

Literally nothing good can come from hiring a troon. Unless you’re running a dynamite testing company or something.

 

[neverendingmidi]

There's two I've encountered in the wild... both working in grocery stores. Same brand, different stores.

One is a skinny twig of a twink with the falsetto voice and some ridiculously "feminine" name. Old enough to work in the liquor store part of the whole place. I once saw a woman and her friend (we're talking 60+) pointing and giggling at this guy.

The other is a goddamn mountain of a hon. Probably 6'4", built like a fat fridge. Keeps his rapidly thinning hair colored dangerhair colors. Last time I saw him he was wearing a cardigan in the trans colors with trans symbols all over it (the ones that combine the male and female greek symbols). If he ever tries to do a "feminine" voice, he fails hilariously at it. He sounds like an autist whenever he does speak.

They probably both think they pass because people don't automatically point and shout "Look! A tranny!"

 

[Squirrel Nutkin]

I sometimes deal with the public in a front facing position in a field traditionally associated with women's health, primarily because it deals with body parts that only women have. So yesterday at the end of a longish shift this disgraceful troon rocks up and asks for information and handouts. I could feel it in my bones that he was hoping I would tell him to get lost, and his buddy was even hanging back with his cell phone out and ready. I played it completely straight and I could tell he was bummed he didn't get to put up a video or get me fired.

 

[glass_houses]

I sometimes deal with the public in a front facing position in a field traditionally associated with women's health, primarily because it deals with body parts that only women have. So yesterday at the end of a longish shift this disgraceful troon rocks up and asks for information and handouts. I could feel it in my bones that he was hoping I would tell him to get lost, and his buddy was even hanging back with his cell phone out and ready. I played it completely straight and I could tell he was bummed he didn't get to put up a video or get me fired.

I tried to count how many levels of vile this anecdote is on with my fingers, and decided to stop when I realised that I was going to have to get my toes involved.

 

[Screamer_2]

I am honestly surprised by how often I see them now. Part of me wonders if I am just thinking unfortunate men are trans when they're just unfortunate. I don't see or don't notice trans men. I assume it's just a defence mechanism in my brain being targeted more to trans women.

A few days ago I was in the grocery store, I was walking in the path of a guy pushing a cart. I stopped to let them pass. As a result, I was looking at them. Just a nerdy guy with long hair. Then I notice they have breasts. They were thin, but there were clearly breasts. Not big but definitely breasts. They had no make up, bad skin. Wearing an ugly t-shirt. Nothing screamed female. It was a brief moment but confusing, it doesn't add up. As they walk past, the tranny hunched shoulders. A really dramatic example of it.

Can someone remind me what causes the tranny hunch?

 

[Jewish Sex Criminal]

I am honestly surprised by how often I see them now. Part of me wonders if I am just thinking unfortunate men are trans when they're just unfortunate. I don't see or don't notice trans men. I assume it's just a defence mechanism in my brain being targeted more to trans women.

A few days ago I was in the grocery store, I was walking in the path of a guy pushing a cart. I stopped to let them pass. As a result, I was looking at them. Just a nerdy guy with long hair. Then I notice they have breasts. They were thin, but there were clearly breasts. Not big but definitely breasts. They had no make up, bad skin. Wearing an ugly t-shirt. Nothing screamed female. It was a brief moment but confusing, it doesn't add up. As they walk past, the tranny hunched shoulders. A really dramatic example of it.

Can someone remind me what causes the tranny hunch?

Lack of testosterone from castration affects bone density, leading to osteoporosis and the iconic hunch.

 

[neverendingmidi]

Oh, I did see a pooner at the local waterpark last summer. The thick scars under where their breasts used to be and the patchy pube beard were a giveaway.

Kind of sad, 15 years ago they just would've been an unremarkable lesbian.

 

[Cougar Pump]

Saw some kind of MtF in a furniture store yesterday. They seemed to be having a freakout, facing away from everyone against a wall and changing out of womens clothes into mens clothes they had stashed in their bag. I assume they were experimenting with going out in public dressed as their fetish and bottled it when people started glaring at the freak.

The real world isn't like your internet porn and anime, my dude.

 

[Terffals]

Last night I remembered one of the first times I ever met a pooner, this was at a job I had around 2013-14. She was going by some androgynous name and looked like a tomboy, but I didn’t know she was trying to be trans or anything. I was really into Homestuck at the time and I saw on her bag she had some keychain or some sort related to it.

I went up to her and whispered, “I know what you are,” and her face just went pale and sweaty.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she replied, and I said, “You know, a Homestuck! I saw your keychain.” And then I probably made some cringy reference, idk. But she wouldn’t talk to me for the rest of her time there. (She quit after a few weeks)

MUCH LATER, I learned she was trans. I laugh thinking about how I was just awkwardly trying to make a friend and this bitch thought I was aggressively outing her. Thus began my storied career of unintentional misgendering.

 

[Super Dilator Duel 3D]

I'll precede this by disclaiming that the story I am about to describe to you is so hilariously stereotypical you are immediately going to assume it was made up for Kiwi street cred. I can assure you that these events really happened the way I'm telling them.

One night ago, I went to a local used/retro games store to buy a peripheral for a console I recently acquired. It's important to know that this game store, while having a massive and varied selection of games and systems, also fucking stinks. It has the constant overwhelming odor of body odor. It's foul and makes spending any significant amount of time in there genuinely unpleasant. This is actually the case for every used game store in the area, but I digress. The cashier was a pudgy, greasy troon. Short, clear hunchback, scraggly unkempt beard, long unnaturally dyed hair, the works. They timidly greet me as I walk in and I retch, but through many months of close interaction with trannies on the Internet I was able to push through. I grab my peripheral, check out, and leave. They were obviously new, in training and very socially awkward. No eye contact, shaky and quiet voice, had to constantly be directed around by the other non-troon neckbeard cashier, etc. Anyways, I get home and the item I bought doesn't work. Great, it's defective and I'm going to have to return it. The next day, I make my way back to the store, receipt and item in hand. The first thing I notice is that not only is the troon cashier working again, but they're also wearing the exact same outfit down to the dirty block stockings and skirt. I'm disgusted, but I want my exchange. After I return my item, I go to pick out another of equal value to exchange it for. As I'm browsing the massive shelves of games, looking for something to pick out, a nigger and his spic friend walk in. The nigger, dreadlocks swinging wildly as he steps into the store, immediately yells out MAN IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT IN HERE! the troon does not greet him like he did every other customer. The store is filled with a deafening silence as everyone else agrees with the coloured man's assertions but is sadly too melanin-deficient to voice their approval. He then backpeddles with a quieter (but still very loud) ...nah im just playin bro hahaha after which everyone goes back to what they were doing.

The nog walks up to the troon cashier and I, now thoroughly entertained and invested in how the interaction unfolds, find a nearby shelf and stand behind it, listening in. The nigger speaks exactly like you'd expect; he barrels his way through the troon's quiet, nasally mumbles while asking yall got them adapters for my hexbox series ecks? i need one of those adapters for the hard drive or some shit (I have no fucking clue what he was referring to, by the way)

After this, despite my sides exiting the Milky Way, the stench of unwashed neckbeard troon ass finally breaks me down to the point I just have to grab something and leave. On the way out I noticed that they had multiple signs mentioning they were hiring. One of the benefits of hiring was "being around awesome, nerdy people!" If in this case, 'awesome nerdy people' refers to autistis, hormone-addled troons, while stewing in a room of mildew and body odor and being assaulted with nonsensical, retarded tech questions by niggers, then it makes perfect sense why they're in such dire need of applicants.

 

[Kumquat]

Found another mega hon at the gas station today. I took a photo, but I'm not sure of the legality of sharing images, so I'll refrain. Needless to say, it was noteworthy enough for me to want to take a photo. Had to be at least 6 feet tall, with badly-dyed orange-pink hair tied up in a bun. Denim jacket with a skirt hugging tightly around his thick, male waist. His legs were the most obvious giveaway; big, stocky, hairy man legs covered in acne, poorly covered with long, striped programmer socks, and a pair of what looked like work boots, but of course covered in sparkles with frilly pink laces on them. Weird fucking earrings that looked like he stuck earthworms through his ear lobes.

I've been seeing more and more of these freaks out in public lately. I don't live in some fag-happy place like San Fran, but I do live in a pretty moderate swing-state, in one of the most highly-populated cities in said state, so there's bound to be more than a few trannies here.

 

[SIMIΔN]

For quick context without doxxing myself or acting like a retard, I WFH in SaaS as a manager of a specialist team. We usually hire in house due to the specialized nature of the software, which means we get a whole variety of retards thinking they’re fit for the job when they’ve failed every KPI to their name.

Well I’m conducting interviews on Monday this week and HR puts a “Denise” on my schedule. No problem, I just want this to be over after the 10th interview of the day. So I join the video call, and behold, a fuckin troon with makeup, shaved sides of his head, and a fucking trans flag badge on his T-Shirt (yes not a pin, a badge. like you’d get in 2nd grade. And yes, a fuckin t-shirt for an interview). I knew instantly that little shit wasn’t getting the job since their kind is notorious for internal pot-stirring and I ain’t getting fired because of some wrong pronoun BS.

I hurried up through the questions, 20 mins before the end of the interview, and open the floor to him. He proceeds to ask me if our team is “inclusive”, if we have any allies on the team currently, and what the pay is if he needs to use his short term disability (I shit you not). Absolutely zero questions normal people ask, like about the job, responsibilities, pay, etc.

Well, don't leave us in suspense, did you give her the job?
You are so lucky, she's a three-for-one diversity jackpot, LGBT, Disabled and a women? Have you considered investing in skin dye for her so she can count as African American too?.

 

[keytar]

Recently I went in a cafe and the barista was a pooner who looked like a less fat version of PPP. I felt kinda bad laughing because she was really nice but I still laughed a little bit when she was out of earshot

 

[glass_houses]

A week or so ago I went to a local supermarket, one of those endangered beasts with real humans at the registers.

The checkout chick was a standard pooner. Horrendous acne, voice like a fourteen year old boy. She actually wore a mullet. Her name badge said:

"Dante"

Japan should be nuked. Again.

 

[The Gunt Whisperer]

There’s someone new in the neighbourhood…

For reference, I live in the gaybourhood of Canada’s largest city. The demographic skews very heavily towards gay men. Straight couples and lesbians, and a lot of retirees round out the residents. There are some trans women I know - mostly the HSTS variety, who have been trans for years or decades. They dress like average people, they look and act completely normal. There’s nothing noteworthy about them. (Except the one that has the 2 most adorable little dogs ever. But I digress.)

Last month I spotted someone new. From a block away, across an intersection.

The costume was unmistakable. Spinny short skirt, gamer socks, ratty, greasy hair. And as I got closer, the 5 o’clock shadow, rainbow glasses and adorned with a smattering of pins.

I’ve since seen this person 3 more times. (Most recently wearing a yellow plaid skirt - think Cher in Clueless - with combat boots and a pvc shirt.

More notably, one of my neighbours told me about an event they witnessed… they described this same person in the Muslim-owned convenience store on the corner, screaming your usual “it’s ma’am!” Tantrum. (Neighbor is also kiwi-minded, so we talk about this stuff.)

We are in for some entertainment I think. The old-school gays in my building do not have the patience or inclination to deal with this bullshit, and will absolutely destroy him.

 

[Special spoonie]

Have seen several times a 60ish year old tranny who likes to wear thigh highs and fishnets out and about during the day.
Looks like exactly what youd think. An awful bobbed wig to hide the balding, glasses and some short skirts and heavy makeup that settles into his wrinkles. One day I’ll take a covert picture.

 

[Party Cheese]

Back with another, though it's not a Troon Sighting as much as it is a Troon Close Encounter... can you blame me for not wanting to get any closer to a violent degenerate than I have to?

For the sake of context, my hubby runs a business, in a field that doesn't attract many women since it's hard labor, outdoors, in all weather. That was the first red flag when I took a phone call from "Miss Chantrelle" who sounded like your average nogette on the phone, voice on the husky side but not anything immediately clockable. Fortunately, since I'm on Kiwifarms, my troon-tennae are more finely calibrated than most. "Chantrelle" told me that she heard from "DeMarkus", a dependable and long-time employee, that we were hiring capable hands, and "she" had experience. It sounded plausible so I gently pried for more information, so as not to alert her that I had a bit of AG(P)enda.

I asked Miss Chantrelle for her full legal name. The hesitation hung thick on the airwaves between us until I airily explained that it's just to check and make sure the candidate has a state drivers license in good standing, merely a technicality for the insurance company, since access to a work truck is part of the job! We weren't going to do a background check or anything, heavens no! If she preferred, she could snap me a picture of her drivers license and send it via text, and then I wouldn't even need to search it in the database! And that was when Chantrelle revealed that "her" legal name was very, very male.

Turns out, "Chantrelle" actually did have a clean driving record, which might be why he had the balls to give me a full legal name that, upon a two-second Google search, led me to a blotter report which revealed a felony charge for "Entering in the nighttime a dwelling with intent to violate Protective Order, Assault, Destruction of Property, Trespassing, Disorderly Conduct" and a search of LastName, MiddleName to several variations in spelling of FirstName, as well as one "Miss FirstNamelle LastName", which frankly cracked me up since it was so low-effort. These aliases linked to several more misdemeanor larceny and disorderly conduct arrests. Of course they did. Even better, it gave me a mugshot, which unfortunately I cannot post here without revealing my county of powerlevel. Picture a smug gorilla with ears implied only by giant gold hoop earrings being attached to SOMETHING, and the skin texture of a meteorite. In a makeup maneuver that only a tranny would make, he chose to smear gold highlighter all over that painted moonscape, which really made the pits and peaks pop. Shiny Potato head melding seamlessly into Linebacker shoulders, discernible only because of the five o'clock shadow in-between, its modern art, "Ritratto di Troonerie".

Barely containing my mirth, I showed Dear Hubby the mugshot, and he immediately responded, "Yeah, no... fuck no. Pass." before I could even get to the juicy arrest record.

The best part is, when I saw DeMarkus this morning, I asked him what was up with his buddy Chantrelle, and his response was a long quiet side eye before responding, "That ain't no friend of mine" so I'm not sure why Chanty thought a deadass shot in the dark with an outright lie attached would get him a job. Maybe he's stupid enough to think a name change and different sex would be enough to cover up his past misdeeds? Sadly, this is where Miss Chantrelle's story ends, because I am not touching that follow-up with a ten-foot estrogen needle.

 

[macrodegenerate]

This is kind of the first sighting for me. I didn't think these people were real. I was at FNM, and they were wearing a mask. I joked about why they're not wearing a respirator or a clean air exchange unit. Expected a chuckle or a dismissive fuck off. Called me out publicly over it during the draft. Got to the last game of the night. They were my opponent I said "let's goooooooo buddy!" like I do to everyone.

"Are you doing that to demean me?".
"Just trying to have fun".
"Nah you can have the pack. I don't like your attitude."
"You sure? Looks like your deck is sweet from your draft picks"
"Nah, I'm going to go eat".

They stayed a solid 30 minutes in the shop afterwards at the counter. I had a deck full of garbage. I'm not entirely sure what they wanted to accomplish. You'd think if you didn't like a person you'd want to beat them fair and square as their opponent.