Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[topshrek]

Jack's descent into his Q-anon boomerschizo arc is in full swing. Remember: The government doesn't want you to know that the cure for critically high-blood pressure is gobbling down absurd quantities of red meat and shredded cheese shaped into horrifying culinary chimeras

I wonder if he'll continue his flight from Orange County, CA Murfreesboro, TN the middle of nowhere, unincorporated rural Tennessee due to it becoming too libtarded by relocating Hammy & Co to Moscow, a city well known for its hatred of socialism and love of personal freedoms. I have to admit that it would be hilarious to see Jack driving his scootypuff around Red Square as bewildered Russians stare at this bizarre, orb-shaped American mutt like he's some sort of sideshow

 

[Bassomatic]

At first I thought yes even Jack got in on the trolling, nope he's that dumb he'll eat a triple bacon burger that's probably as tall as Warwick Davis (and weighs same) and think he's healthy.

Rob on the go is KINO, when he put his head back I was sitting on couch watching on my phone next to Mrs and yelled YOU DID NOT! Fucking perfect. Fuck movies rob needs an Emmy.

Sadly fatty is almost broken clock syndrome with this interview thing. It's almost like people forget what reporters do for a living... No one minded when Charles Manson got interviewed. Sadly Jack can't get the thought of it this deep and it's just retarded boomer sperging.

Have another bug her with extra cheese fatty. Anderson Cooper with a 8 year old dick in his mouth couldn't cope as hard as you do with poorly cooked meat.

 

[Blasterisk]

In the latest F as in Frank, Jack claims that humanity is approximately 2,000 years old.

This implies that Jesus was born 24 years before there was a mother to carry him to term, a twist on interpreting 1 Peter 1:20 that even the most astute Bible scholars never saw coming. Given that Jack also showed us that the book of Isaiah has prophecies in it (he learned this after the seventh time reading it) I think we should keep a close eye on him for other theological treatises, essays and revelations.

Otherwise, I think Charles is a Californian who is slowly learning to think for himself, and even if his fad diet is strange I can respect his goals of self-improvement.
Clearly the superior Scalfani by far.

 

[Point Emerging]

been looking forward to this one

I was so excited to come home to this, and my sides have never hurt more.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

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what happen to being fearful of the reds? the fuckin' 80's where full of anti-russian shit. remember when people like him use to hate the Russians? now 'tards like him sucking old Russian men off. christ, his generation is a compete joke.

 

[Bassomatic]

what happen to being fearful of the reds? the fuckin' 80's where full of anti-russian shit. remember when people like him use to hate the Russians? now 'tards like him sucking old Russian men off. christ, his generation is a compete joke.

Jack doesn't remember what he had for lunch DURING lunch. Do you think he remembers duck and cover drills or McCarthy era?

 

[Falcon Sebben]

been looking forward to this one

Rob is such a magnificent bastard. You can't help but love how he's trolling Fatty. Asking his wife what he just ordered, looking up and pondering how it is before saying, "Gud". And the bonus is Patti is in on the joke.

The only thing that was missing was he didn't tongue fuck the burger first. Beyond that, top marks.

what happen to being fearful of the reds? the fuckin' 80's where full of anti-russian shit. remember when people like him use to hate the Russians? now 'tards like him sucking old Russian men off. christ, his generation is a compete joke.

Ever since Trump got to be besties with Putin a lot of folk on the right have been saying good things about Russia.

 

[Super Hans v2]

In the latest F as in Frank, Jack claims that humanity is approximately 2,000 years old.
Your browser is not able to display this video.
This implies that Jesus was born 24 years before there was a mother to carry him to term, a twist on interpreting 1 Peter 1:20 that even the most astute Bible scholars never saw coming. Given that Jack also showed us that the book of Isaiah has prophecies in it (he learned this after the seventh time reading it) I think we should keep a close eye on him for other theological treatises, essays and revelations.

Otherwise, I think Charles is a Californian who is slowly learning to think for himself, and even if his fad diet is strange I can respect his goals of self-improvement.
Clearly the superior Scalfani by far.

Don't even the most hardline fundies say about 5000 years? Does Jack think that Adam all the way through Joseph are a Jewish conspiracy? Why am I trying to deduce the off-hand comments of a retard?

 

[TheMovieGuy]

Don't even the most hardline fundies say about 5000 years? Does Jack think that Adam all the way through Joseph are a Jewish conspiracy? Why am I trying to deduce the off-hand comments of a retard?

Creationists say approximately 6000 years.
Probably, his brain is melted.
Maybe your brain is melted too. Maybe mine is. Maybe all our brains are.

 

[Pig Cups]

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!ATTENTION ALL HADURS AND GODLESS DETRACTORS OF THIS THREAD!​

!YOU HAVE BEEN OWNED!
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As you can see from image above: Jack is now, in fact, back. He's totally normal and has 100% recovered from all strokes and will now be returning for many more years of Cooking with Jack.

So, Jack, now that you've totally recovered what are you going to make next on the show?
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Fuck

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So he basically made the autistic, bastard relative of KFC’s Double Down, but it manages to be eons shittier?


Also, it looks like he’s living in a garbage pile. Utterly depressing.

Fuck, I wouldn't even let a pig eat that thing.

Years ago, I briefly worked in a residential facility for severely developmentally disabled folks. The leftovers from dining service were placed into buckets to be given to the pigs at a neighboring farm. Most of those pig bucket leftovers looked pretty gnarly, but are unexcelled haute cuisine when compared to that pile of afterbirth Jack assembled.

I've never understood his desire to eat cold cheese on a cheeseburger. The texture is just weird. This is why everywhere you go they take the cheese and melt it on the patty before sticking it on the bun.

It’s like the McDLT. Putting the cheese on the cold side was one of the Golden Arches’ dumbest conceptual failures. Not hard to see why this thing was short-lived.


Jack’s fucked creation actually makes the McDLT (with its yucky L and T) look marginally healthier. I’m actually shocked. What the everloving fuck is wrong with him?

 

[This Post Is Satire]

Just in case anyone shares my particular type of Geoguessr autism, he bought the burger from the Circular Quay Hungry Jacks, then took a walk down Macquarie Place to the Jessie Street Gardens to dissect his lunch.

All considered, a strange choice because if he walked in the opposite direction he could have had lunch with a view of the Opera House and Harbour Bridge instead.

But then again, a sub-optimal decision is pretty on brand for Jack so maybe its just a chefs kiss piece of satire.

 

[AnOminous]

It’s like the McDLT. Putting the cheese on the cold side was one of the Golden Arches’ dumbest conceptual failures. Not hard to see why this thing was short-lived.

The concept was you were supposed to assemble the sandwich later. So it was more like an actual BLT. Turns out people who eat at McDonald's want to eat MEAT GUD now, not assemble shit. It wasn't actually that bad but leaving the cheese out would have been better. I don't want to eat hot lettuce but I also don't want to eat cold clammy cheese with lettuce water on it. They have a bad record of bringing out dishes that flop because they need some weird packaging.

 

[p1138]

But then again, a sub-optimal decision is pretty on brand for Jack so maybe its just a chefs kiss piece of satire.

Considering he went out of his way to eat part of a fucking whopper from BK on his international vacation of all things, just to fuck with Fatty, I'm going to assume it was intentional to avoid showing doing or looking at anything potentially interesting. Going somewhere and sticking to the local mall seems about on par for what we might expect out of Fatty. The background noise, the random people, it's just like how Fatty would do it.

The concept was you were supposed to assemble the sandwich later. So it was more like an actual BLT. Turns out people who eat at McDonald's want to eat MEAT GUD now, not assemble shit. It wasn't actually that bad but leaving the cheese out would have been better. I don't want to eat hot lettuce but I also don't want to eat cold clammy cheese with lettuce water on it. They have a bad record of bringing out dishes that flop because they need some weird packaging.

I assumed it flopped because it was just too damn absurd. It's a waste of packaging, needed a bigger bag, and yeah the lack of melted cheese is just... weird. That said, I have seen weirdos who like that cold clammy slice of cheese on a burger. This idiot even mentions it as if it's some sort of bonus

I understand what american cheese is, and there are some things it works on because of how it's processed, like melting over a burger patty. Cold american cheese is fucking disgusting.

 

[AnOminous]

I assumed it flopped because it was just too damn absurd. It's a waste of packaging, needed a bigger bag, and yeah the lack of melted cheese is just... weird. That said, I have seen weirdos who like that cold clammy slice of cheese on a burger. This idiot even mentions it as if it's some sort of bonus

And you'll note it's also styrofoam. Just at exactly the point people started chimping out about styrofoam.

 

[p1138]

Hmm, out of curiosity let's see what the fat on the go like:dislikes and views appear to be right now with Rob's video being up almost a day.
Rob 104:8 1.1k views
Barrel House 55:216 1.7k views
Zoolumination 18:117 1.1k views
Strikeout Wingz 57:168 3.5k views(gee, I wonder why this one got so much attention)
Bob Marley 43:221 2k views
Cowfish 55:281 2.5k views
Vivo Italian 46:98 2.4k views
Raise the Roost 55:135 2.7k views

I don't know how Fatty could wake up and see this, and not have a fucking aneurism while maybe mentioning how much "love" everyone has given Rob on a livestream as if he's done Rob a favor.

 

[Gulls on Film]

Hmm, out of curiosity let's see what the fat on the go like:dislikes and views appear to be right now with Rob's video being up almost a day.
Rob 104:8 1.1k views
Barrel House 55:216 1.7k views
Zoolumination 18:117 1.1k views
Strikeout Wingz 57:168 3.5k views(gee, I wonder why this one got so much attention)
Bob Marley 43:221 2k views
Cowfish 55:281 2.5k views
Vivo Italian 46:98 2.4k views
Raise the Roost 55:135 2.7k views

I don't know how Fatty could wake up and see this, and not have a fucking aneurism while maybe mentioning how much "love" everyone has given Rob on a livestream as if he's done Rob a favor.

If Jack had the ability to analyze numbers, he would have stopped making videos a long time ago and also he would have realized that eating processed meat and cheese as a diet does not work.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

 

[p1138]

If Jack had the ability to analyze numbers, he would have stopped making videos a long time ago and also he would have realized that eating processed meat and cheese as a diet does not work.

If it were purely for business, sure. But we know it's just an excuse for him to be a glutton(and likely some tax fraud).

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

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Jack's descent into his Q-anon boomerschizo arc is in full swing. Remember: The government doesn't want you to know that the cure for critically high-blood pressure is gobbling down absurd quantities of red meat and shredded cheese shaped into horrifying culinary chimeras

I wonder if he'll continue his flight from Orange County, CA Murfreesboro, TN the middle of nowhere, unincorporated rural Tennessee due to it becoming too libtarded by relocating Hammy & Co to Moscow, a city well known for its hatred of socialism and love of personal freedoms. I have to admit that it would be hilarious to see Jack driving his scootypuff around Red Square as bewildered Russians stare at this bizarre, orb-shaped American mutt like he's some sort of sideshow

Lol of course fatty loves Tucker Carlson and Vladimir Putin.

what happen to being fearful of the reds? the fuckin' 80's where full of anti-russian shit. remember when people like him use to hate the Russians? now 'tards like him sucking old Russian men off. christ, his generation is a compete joke.

Trump loves Putin and Russia, so retarded Republicans who worship Trump like a god now love Russia and Putin, too. Putin's intelligence agencies figured out that Trumpers were really gullible and retarded so thus they could make Trump like him and do his bidding while having Trumpers love him. Jack is a retard so it fits perfectly. "America First" means "Russia First"

"This is my buddy Rob. Please, show him some love, be nice." Jack, like CWC, thinks trolls just happen, like people staring when you're half blind, half-crippled and stuffing MEET down your throat. Jack baby, Rob is in no danger of being trolled.

Lol fatty still doesn't get that we like Rob because he's a likeable and nice person and seems like a solid cook. Jack is a horrible, shitty person who can't cook for shit

 

[topshrek]

Creationists say approximately 6000 years.
Probably, his brain is melted.
Maybe your brain is melted too. Maybe mine is. Maybe all our brains are.

Jack invalidating the entirety of the Old Testament with his galaxy-brained Young Earth creationism just reaffirms my belief that he's never actually read the Bible before. He just wears his surface-level Christianity like a fashion accessory and used it to marry Hammy

This shouldn't exactly be surprising when you consider how much he struggles to read even one sentence-long superchats. He's functionally illiterate, trying to get him to read Goodnight Moon to completion would be expecting too much of him.