Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Falcon Sebben]

There's plenty to shit on the Scalfatties and their religion without lying - they're Pentacostal, not Mormons.

She's actually TamHam's latest lesbian lover. Her clit is more functional as a dick than Jack's has been in twenty years. And technically it's allowed in the church because it's neither sodomy nor sex.

Does that make her Jane Traynor?

 

[Fata v3]

Oh, it most certainly is. Aside from his shoutout in a recent vid to "all my kiwi friends on the deep dark web," there's this gem from the comments:
View attachment 5769081

With Rob it is always a bit ambiguous. It's obvious he shot the video there to show the kiwi as a backdrop, but he is also right in other ways about a deeper meaning as the kiwi has a koru as a tail - which symbolizes new life/beginnings and growth.

It's just another example or him being able to display plausible deniability

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

It's just another example or him being able to display plausible deniability

Eh, feels more like Serendipity that he ended up getting it, realized the connection later, and used it. Robs already the lucky break and fresh air in Jack's thread, he's got enough benefit of the doubt from me, and he doesn't seem the terminally online kind who'd immediate have the farms in mind seeing a wall hanger like that.

 

[ZipDisk]

Looking rashy, Jack.

The way he dumped those cookies is exactly how he navigates life.

I like how Guru Larry showed up to hasten Jack's death by encouraging him to eat more bakey.

 

[Skwisgaar Skwigelf]

The live stream was super boring but on the plus side we did learn that the title of Jacks new studio will be:

"Samsung Studios: The Kitchen"

 

[Adamska]

Funniest part of today's stream so far is when he said he doesn't like chicken breast because it's dry.

That isn't the breasts fault Jack, that's on you

It tends towards dry in comparison to other meats, but it's easily fixeable. One of the simplest tricks I've done to avoid it is quick pan fry or jacket cooking. The latter especially is excellent in keeping it tender and succulent.

Jack just wants fat. It's why he also refuses to cut fat caps.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

With Rob it is always a bit ambiguous. It's obvious he shot the video there to show the kiwi as a backdrop, but he is also right in other ways about a deeper meaning as the kiwi has a koru as a tail - which symbolizes new life/beginnings and growth.

It's just another example or him being able to display plausible deniability

Of course he's going to be able to deny it no matter what. It's why he had a boomerang under it. They went to Oz and Kiwiland. Oh the Kiwi is the symbol of some group on the dark web? Rob didn't know that!

But it's not like Fatty would be able to figure it out.

Eh, feels more like Serendipity that he ended up getting it, realized the connection later, and used it. Robs already the lucky break and fresh air in Jack's thread, he's got enough benefit of the doubt from me, and he doesn't seem the terminally online kind who'd immediate have the farms in mind seeing a wall hanger like that.

No he's not a guy who lurks on the site but he's aware of it and he's aware of Fatty's reputation on the web as a whole. As has been said previously he can't fly too close to the Sun or be too obvious. Even Fatty said in one of his comments, "you're starting to sound like you did near the beginning" meaning he tries to stay as below the radar as possible. Makes things funnier that way.

The live stream was super boring but on the plus side we did learn that the title of Jacks new studio will be:

"Samsung Studios: The Kitchen"

Oh yeah. I'm sure Samsung sent him all those things for his studio.

 

[Super Hans v2]

The live stream was super boring but on the plus side we did learn that the title of Jacks new studio will be:

"Samsung Studios: The Kitchen"

Can a mod add 'assassinated by South Korea' to the poll?

 

[AltisticRight]

Jack is bamboozled by that TikiToki Video where that lady brought the Cookies off the sheet after baking without any issues.
Oh and of course he uses pre-made Cookie Dough.

This fat worthless sack of lard has been making videos for what more than a decade?
He still can't balance the audio. The intro audio was so loud, I thought Hamas just had a late Chinese New Year fireworks celebration with Qassam rockets.
Fuck you fat fuck

GET YOU CHINESIUM COOKIE SHEETS

View attachment 5773149
"A group of moms"

View attachment 5773147

$33.99 for a set of gimmick cookie sheets made out of who knows what, will this video even make half that in AdSense? Of course he wanted the rose gold color ones, of course he did. Tammy's like nuh uh you ain't buying that faggot shit with my credit card.

Yeah, the description is total rubbish.
Funnily, unlike other white labelled rubbish, I can't find an identical product on any of the Chinese sites I've frequented. That stupid lattice texture will make this thing a pain to wash. Luckily for Jack, he'll only use it once.

Most youtube cooks say that as well and it just tells me they don't know what they're doing. Most people overcook it because they think it needs to hit 165F to be safe, but that's not true at all. Here are the USDA pasteurization guidelines for chicken:
View attachment 5774839
You've gotta play around a bit to see what works for you because the temperature you're cooking it at will affect how much carryover you get and how quickly the temp rises while resting. With sous vide I go 140 otherwise I try to shoot for around 150 final temp after resting.

A general rule for tender chicken is to always go a bit lower than 160-165, because the thing will continue to cook after it's been taken out of the oven/fryer etc.
Or if you want to be Jack, just eat it raw.

 

[fag0rz]

This fat worthless sack of lard has been making videos for what more than a decade?
He still can't balance the audio. The intro audio was so loud, I thought Hamas just had a late Chinese New Year fireworks celebration with Qassam rockets.
Fuck you fat fuck

A serious brain injury will often change someone's personality and behavior. Not Jack, though. He's still the same greedy, gluttonous, venal, lying, whiny, abrasive, pig-ignorant sack of shit that he was 30 years ago. His missions in life are to shove as much industrial slop down his gullet as possible and post fictional narratives about his righteousness on Boomerbook. What a waste of carbon.

 

[Dead Air]

Figures it would be Samsung stuff. They make the cheapest and most garbage appliances out there. Particularly their fridgerators and stoves.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

One of the rules that Jack cites as compliant with carnivore is that he doesn't count "anything that comes out of a shaker". So according to his LAWGIC, he could just be dumping a shaker full of raw sugar over his meat and still consider himself as complying with carnivore. When you look at the nutrition labels of his sugary ass BBQ seasonings that he coats his steaks with, its no wonder that his SHURGUR levels have barely budged since he began his "diet" three months ago

Hilarious fat faggot has had his own 'cooking' channel for 15(!) years and loves steak, but still has no clue that a nice chef's salt/course, fresh ground pepper mix applied liberally - but EVENLY - is considered the gold standard on a nice steak. What an idiot

 

[PlasticOwls]

A serious brain injury will often change someone's personality and behavior. Not Jack, though. He's still the same greedy, gluttonous, venal, lying, whiny, abrasive, pig-ignorant sack of shit that he was 30 years ago. His missions in life are to shove as much industrial slop down his gullet as possible and post fictional narratives about his righteousness on Boomerbook. What a waste of carbon.

I say this in the nicest way possible, but there is not a single redeeming quality to Jack I can think of, and I can think of one for just about every cow here.

Jack has yet to show a single, genuine, act of kindness that hasn't been motivated by self-interest, narcissism, or a saccarrine sense of sanctimony. He even puts his own interests over those of his children and Tammy.

The only contribution he'll give anyone is a fat life insurance check for his bloated corpse. He is a soulless, selfish, uncurious, entitled, boring waste of air, and he doesn't have much time left on Earth to turn that around.

Whoever has to write Jack's eulogy is going to have a hell of a time saying anything of genuine substance.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Whoever has to write Jack's eulogy is going to have a hell of a time saying anything of genuine substance.

"Lady and gentleman, the two of you that bothered to show up to Jack's funeral, Jack's smiling looking up at us today. Jack's flaws were entirely flawless, by that I mean there were nothing but flaws. He was a bad father, a bad husband, a bad cook and a bad Christian. He's surely burning in hell, making his outside charred but leaving his insides raw like every meat he's ever cooked. It took until the end for Jack to finally do something good, which was dying. I rate Jack Scalfani's life a D-. Congratulations. Come on in close and spit in his open casket."

 

[biggacracka]

"Lady and gentleman, the two of you that bothered to show up to Jack's funeral, Jack's smiling looking up at us today. Jack's flaws were entirely flawless, by that I mean there were nothing but flaws. He was a bad father, a bad husband, a bad cook and a bad Christian. He's surely burning in hell, making his outside charred but leaving his insides raw like every meat he's ever cooked. It took until the end for Jack to finally do something good, which was dying. I rate Jack Scalfani's life a D-. Congratulations. Come on in close and spit in his open casket."

I would like for his casket to be put sideways like how he molests eats his burgers

 

[Gulls on Film]

I say this in the nicest way possible, but there is not a single redeeming quality to Jack I can think of, and I can think of one for just about every cow here.

Jack has yet to show a single, genuine, act of kindness that hasn't been motivated by self-interest, narcissism, or a saccarrine sense of sanctimony. He even puts his own interests over those of his children and Tammy.

The only contribution he'll give anyone is a fat life insurance check for his bloated corpse. He is a soulless, selfish, uncurious, entitled, boring waste of air, and he doesn't have much time left on Earth to turn that around.

Whoever has to write Jack's eulogy is going to have a hell of a time saying anything of genuine substance.

Jack always has easy good deeds lay out in front of him and he still actively goes out of his way to avoid doing a good act.

Church mission trip to Mexico to build a church? Just stands around filming the entire time, getting in the way of the people actually working, and insulting the locals and their cuisine.

Make a chili for a church potluck? Complain that he got cheated out of winning a for fun chili competition (and tried to poison the entire church with spoiled meat)

Volunteer for an adopt-a-parolee program? Film her for content and a tax write-off, and loudly complain that she wanted to go to a restaurant downtown because that meant he had to pay for parking and deal with crowds.

 

[p1138]

Jack always has easy good deeds lay out in front of him and he still actively goes out of his way to avoid doing a good act.

Church mission trip to Mexico to build a church? Just stands around filming the entire time, getting in the way of the people actually working, and insulting the locals and their cuisine.

Make a chili for a church potluck? Complain that he got cheated out of winning a for fun chili competition (and tried to poison the entire church with spoiled meat)

Volunteer for an adopt-a-parolee program? Film her for content and a tax write-off, and loudly complain that she wanted to go to a restaurant downtown because that meant he had to pay for parking and deal with crowds.

He actively goes out of his way to be an asshole even when he could have just chosen to keep his mouth shut.
He constantly bitches about other people using the handicap parking spaces on FB... as if he's the only fucking cripple in the area.
He bitched about a blind person at a fucking amusement park... when his own fat ass can't even get on the rides.
He complains about other people using the handicap stalls in public restrooms... when he could just wait until they're done like any other normal human being would.

It's more effort for him to complain in videos on youtube and posts on FB, than not, and it's shit no one else would be complaining about anyway. And that's before getting into some of the even simpler shit normal people just do but he can't without getting something out of it for himself.

Talked about getting candy bars for trick or treaters, then says he has so many to hand out but leaves the box in picture showing his diabetic ass still kept almost 1/4 of it.

Made cookies for retards at church, only so he could eat cookies.

Supposedly donates dozens of pounds of PULPORK to catered megachurch events, so he can keep most(probably all) of it for himself at home.

Is too lazy to scoot around the block with his dogs on leashes, because it would cut into his time watching kids cartoons in the middle of the day.

Made his son and daughter in law a pile of garbage cake for their trashy wedding, just so he could get content out of it.

Only met up with his friend he hadn't seen in a decade from southern california, purely for content. Similar how he turned meeting his estranged half sister who happened to live in NY while he was there... into content.

Went on national TV to show off his cooking skills at a BBQ, made an elderly man do all of the work and then had the audacity to cry later.

This man has never done one selfless, or even just honest thing in his fucking life.

 

[._.]

He still can't balance the audio. The intro audio was so loud, I thought Hamas just had a late Chinese New Year fireworks celebration with Qassam rockets.
Fuck you fat fuck

idk whats wrong with your speakers, I could barely hear it. I think it should be louder.

Spoiler: Loudter = funny

People have occasionalliy trolled him that they couldnt hear the opening and to turn it up and f this is one thing where Jack is trolling back and being passive aggressive Im fine with it because I think its kinda funny to a) pretend hes not and b) I hope he ends up with just like one fucked up video where the audio is peaking and its all distorted and fucked up and screeching and crackling and bass boosted. Normally 'lol its so loud' isnt funny to me but the idea that Jack isnt in on the joke and is genuinely confused and just doesnt quality check, hes got a cut at the beginning of the timeline of like Premiere or whatever and the waveform is just s solid white bar, and the rest is all peaks and valleys.

The only time Ill ever hint at credit for him is that I think this is the one time hes being passive aggressive and directly fucking with the people trolling him because the Cooking With Jack robot voice is a little lower than the regular audio too so its more jarring. Even though its probably him being a catty bitch.

 

[Crispy Jakes]

I like how Guru Larry showed up to hasten Jack's death by encouraging him to eat more bakey.

I'd be shocked if Larry hasn't been posting with an alias across hundreds of threads here since the early CWCki forum days. Definitely our guy (although he needs to stop mentioning to anyone who'll listen that he was once on satellite TV. That was over 20 years ago Larry and nobody under the age of 40 cares about TV. Move on.)

 

[She Brings The Rain]

"Lady and gentleman, the two of you that bothered to show up to Jack's funeral, Jack's smiling looking up at us today. Jack's flaws were entirely flawless, by that I mean there were nothing but flaws. He was a bad father, a bad husband, a bad cook and a bad Christian. He's surely burning in hell, making his outside charred but leaving his insides raw like every meat he's ever cooked. It took until the end for Jack to finally do something good, which was dying. I rate Jack Scalfani's life a D-. Congratulations. Come on in close and spit in his open casket."

His tombstone will also have "come on in close," and the unlucky bastard that does not read the wendigo warning will know only a few seconds of fear as the Claw surges from the earth, still red and bloated after years of decay, and drags them down to the pits of hell. Jack's circle of hell allows him to think he's going to get all the raw meet and gud fud he can eat, but, tragically, hellfire cooks everything to a perfect temperature. The wendigo suffers.