Containment What If?

Come to think of it, why the fuck hasn't Chris moved to Alaska?

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What if Chris was put in charge of planning Ruckersville's big halloween festive?
 
All costumes would be ill-fitting Salvation Army rags and MLP-themed.

What if South Park mentioned Chris in this cyber-bullying-themed new season?
He would post a video where he would try to "fix" the episode about making it about him, his "intellectual properties", and his "stress". But it ends up being very boring, and makes you want to throw up from both looking at it, and wondering what it smells like in his room.
 
Its probably already mentioned here but what if Chris died? No really.

I'd rather Chris didn't die, but we all will one day. What will happen to all the fans and trolls? I think we'd all be very sad and that his funural will be nothing short of a huge circus. Weens yelling Julay and memes, people cosplaying as classic Chris as well as Chris-tran. It will be a complete tardmageddon.
 
What if Chris read MaskedPony's fanfictions about My Little Pony characters in diapers out loud in public?
 
Bob would express deep disappointment in how Chris turned out after he died, and Chris would shit his pants & do nothing.

What if Chris was a vampire?
Chris would be too lazy to hunt, and with his literal mindedness, he would go to a blood donation bank asking for donations and be rejected.
After said rejection from blood bank, Chris would take to facebook/youtube beg for blood and then try to turn everyone against the blood donation bank that rejected him. Chris would then get desperate and drain settle for draining animal parts from the supermarket. (:_(
 
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