Culture Woman Says 20-Year-Old Traditional Wives Become Single Moms At 40

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Woman Says 20-Year-Old Traditional Wives Become Single Moms At 40​

Choosing to become a "tradwife," or traditional wife, in your early 20s is a huge life decision. While most young adults are enjoying the freedom of independence for the first time, these wives have traded burgeoning careers and higher education for diapers and domestic responsibility.

The problem with this narrative is not that tradwives want to be homemakers, it's that these young moms end up sacrificing their own individual paths while their husbands grow in their careers. These moms may even find themselves single by the time they reach 40, having dedicated their lives to a man who may not have been the right match.

One woman shared her controversial opinion about young, traditional wives inevitably becoming single by their 40s.​

Anya Jovita posted a video on TikTok to discuss her opposition to young women making drastic decisions that will likely inhibit them from following their own individual paths.

Her argument centered around the idea that every woman is entitled to her own personal life choices, but women should be cognizant of the challenges they will face when they set their lives aside to be tradwives to a man they met in their 20s.

“The entire stability of your life cannot rely on a man that you marry in your 20s wanting you for the next 60 years,” Jovita emphasized.

Young love can be blinding, but how can a woman be so sure the man she is dedicating her life to will always be there no matter what? How can she be sure that he, or she, won’t eventually have a change of heart?

The decision to marry is not one to be taken lightly, and there are countless factors to consider and discuss before individuals should officially seal the deal. When young men and women choose to marry at the height of their emotions, they are neglecting the challenges and difficulties that are bound to happen later on.

“What happens when you’re ready to walk away, but you have no job experience, no bank account, nothing, because your entire future relied on this guy, this one human being, wanting you forever?” Jovita exclaimed.

When a woman chooses to depend on a man for support and security, she is giving up her autonomy.​

Young parenthood can be challenging, but it offers its own rewards that can be just as gratifying as any other experience. However, it’s important to note that young parenthood does not necessarily equate to the path of a traditional stay-at-home mom. There are many different options parents can explore.

When a young woman makes the decision to marry and rely solely on her husband, she loses the opportunity to have her own sense of freedom and independence. “Our grandmothers had to fight the U.S. government to get bank accounts, and barely even 50 years later, y’all are voluntarily giving them up,” Jovita expressed.

There's no guarantee that the man you fall for in your 20s will be the husband of your dreams for the rest of your lives together, no matter what he leads you to believe.

In fact, research suggests that 30% of white couples who plan "shotgun weddings" end up divorced later on in life. This is due to the impulsive decision to marry for the sake of their child, rather than for genuine, unconditional love for each other.

That being said, it seems irrational to base a lifelong decision on a fleeting moment of love, especially when that decision involves the sacrifice of your career.

With an emphasis on women's empowerment in today’s world, the prevalence of tradwives begs the question: Why are women still sacrificing their autonomy for men?​

Surely, there are rare occasions of finding genuine love early in life, and some women are lucky enough to find a man whom they can trust will take care of them. Yet, just because this stability is available to you does not mean you should willingly abandon your own purpose.

Regardless of a woman’s thought process behind the risky decisions she makes, Judge Judy’s advice from "The Ellen Show" continues to ring true today when it comes to ensuring individual freedom and independence in relationships.

“Once a woman gives up financial independence to a mate, it’s over. Because there's not an equality anymore,” Judge Judy explained. “You don't necessarily have to use your craft, use your career, but you have to be prepared, because if you're not prepared, you’re stuck, and more women have to accept lifestyles that are unpleasant because they are financially stuck.”
 
I'm not even being facetious. Every woman who has loved me, even the ones who are living traditionally, has advised me to ALWAYS be able to generate my own income for mine and my future children's safety.
But I'm not talking about "trad relationships." The possibility of that was destroyed when women went en masse into the workplace. Prices shifted to match the higher demand, and they won't shift back.

I'm just talking about having kids and when to have them. Biology is real, and waiting until you're late in your fertile years to have one kid with in vitro (using the money to made focusing on career instead of having kids when it would have been "free...") does not make any sense. Women who give other women that advice are not looking out for their best interests, even if they think they are.
 
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For real, most of the women who married men who can afford to keep them at home develope addiction problems when the kids become more independent. Often times, addiction stems from plain old boredom. A lot of SAHMs from back when I was a kid where on uppers, some sort of opiate and had a drinking problem. Tradwives of the 50s where all on uppers.
Then you have people like Lori Alexander, who are just miserable, self-righteous assholes.
 
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There's a reason SAHMs that know what they're doing all say you have to have a backup plan.
To be fair having a backup plan if you get hurt, if you're single, is still good advice.

I can't really think where it's bad advice to have some kind of plan if your finances get fucked out of nowhere by car accident, medical conditions, etc.
 
I'm just talking about having kids and when to have them. Biology is real, and waiting until you're late in your fertile years to have one kid with in vitro (using the money to made focusing on career instead of having kids when it would have been "free...") does not make any sense. Women who give other work that advice are not looking out for their best interests, even if they think they are.
Neither are women who encourage women to shit out a bunch of kids starting in their late teens with no regard for their health or ability to care for them all.
 
I sort of agree with her, but for different reasons.

A tradwife is at very significant risk of being dumped later in life for a younger model. It happened in the past, but there was far more social and religious consequences for doing so.

Today, even within conservative circles, it's relatively easy and there is little consequence in doing so.

Nothing wrong with being a tradwife, but not having a plan B or a marketable skill is deeply unwise. Not purely out of fear of being replaced, but what if the sole breadwinner dies?
I've worked in the finance sector for many years, and the number of times an elderly, recently widowed woman would come in without any clue how to do any sort of basic banking, how to pay bills, had never worked in her life, and was now just utterly lost in a basically foreign world since their husband passed...it's heartbreaking.

If women want to be a trad wife, that's their right, but I'm begging these young girls to at least have part time jobs now and then, take part in how the family finances work, etc. God willing they'll never need those skills but better to have them and not need them, then need them and not have them.
 
I've worked in the finance sector for many years, and the number of times an elderly, recently widowed woman would come in without any clue how to do any sort of basic banking, how to pay bills, had never worked in her life, and was now just utterly lost in a basically foreign world since their husband passed...it's heartbreaking.

If women want to be a trad wife, that's their right, but I'm begging these young girls to at least have part time jobs now and then, take part in how the family finances work, etc. God willing they'll never need those skills but better to have them and not need them, then need them and not have them.
Things my own mother, a "cherished homemaker" does not and cannot do:
- Has not used an ATM since 1993 (I was present at the last time)
- Has not had a credit or debit card since 1984 (I was there when they got cut up)
- Has not put petrol in her own car since 1995
- Has not been to any medical or dental appointment alone since 1976
- Has not opened any mail addressed to her, or arriving at her address, since 1995
- Cannot log on to the house PC
- Does not understand how to navigate internet
- Does not have an email address
- Has no bank account only in her own name
- Has not requested, collected or filled her own repeat prescription since 1992
- Has not answered the phone unless Caller ID shows it is a close family member since 2000
- Has not been willing or able to use a public toilet since 1999. NB she has no physical disability, and yes, she has chosen to wet herself on several occasions, ruining at least one front passenger seat
- Is unable to budget at all and is issued cash envelopes each week to help her budget the grocery money
- Does not know her own bra size
- Does not wash her hair unassisted since 1987 NB she has no physical disability
- Is unable to go to any supermarket other than her chosen one. NB She has a car, can drive, and there are more than thirty supermarkets within 30 minutes travel of her house
- Cannot trim own toenails NB she has no physical disability
- Did not manage sanitary protection/menstruation at all from 1992 until menopause NB She is fully mentally capable of understanding the need and use of such products; she is educationally normal
- Use microwave NB microwave has been in house since 1994 and she has never learned how to use it

I could actually go on; she is actually more fucking functionally useless than this.

My father has allowed this to happen. If she had been made to go to work, she would have had to demonstrate basic life skills such as hygiene and the ability to drive herself places. Allowing and indeed encouraging her to "let him take care of things" has reduced someone who should be normally functioning to a fucking potato and (she expects to be) a pure millstone around my neck once my father dies.

This is not what "loving traditional relationships" look like. Do not trade in your basic autonomy and ability to manage your own life for "being cared for". Do not allow your ability to care for yourself to atrophy.
 
Funny because just in the people I know, the three couples who were school sweethearts and got married at 20 ish are all still together, and looking forward to being grandparents. The people who got married much later, as second marriages or their late thirties or early forties are mainly together as well. Maybe they were old enough to know what they wanted
There’s a phenomenon where in a social group one lot get married mid twenties and suddenly you’re attending 20 weddings a year. I think a lot of us have had that phase. Most of them are divorced
I don’t think just age of marriage is the issue.
The entire stability of your life cannot rely on a man that you marry in your 20s wanting you for the next 60 years,” Jovita emphasized.
Well it can, but you need a few things in place:
1. A society that values marriage
2. No access to easy divorce
3. A society that shuns men who walk out on their wife and kids/women who have affairs
The reason we have child support is precisely to look after women and children if the woman has never had the chance of a career and the bloke leaves. That’s the deal. She gives up the chance of a career and you look after her financially.
If you marry young and the wife has kept her side of the vows and you walk out, you’re a shithead and should be on the hook for alimony.
When you have easy no fault divorce everything falls apart. People marry and divorce to fast, and you get gold diggers and serial absent fathers. That’s only ever a negative for societ.
And before anyone yells at me about abusive marriages I mean no fault divorce - you should always be able to divorce for infidelity or abuse.
 
My father has allowed this to happen. If she had been made to go to work, she would have had to demonstrate basic life skills such as hygiene and the ability to drive herself places. Allowing and indeed encouraging her to "let him take care of things" has reduced someone who should be normally functioning to a fucking potato and (she expects to be) a pure millstone around my neck once my father dies.
Sounds like she's just a lazy retard. How is that anyone's fault but her own? "Made to go to work"? What the fuck dude that is not a prerequisite for being a functional adult.
 
Sounds like she's just a lazy retard. How is that anyone's fault but her own? "Made to go to work"? What the fuck dude that is not a prerequisite for being a functional adult.
He assumed responsibility for her. It was his responsibility to not facilitate her degenerating in this manner. She could not have sunk to this state if he had not enabled her to do so.

He married her; she is his problem as long as they are married. Instead he has allowed her to behave like this and chosen to bet on her predeceasing him. That was not the action of a responsible husband.
 
So are you saying that a woman is property of a man?
Ohhh she absolutely belongs to him, bro. One hundo percent. No one's coming along to rehome her
 
He assumed responsibility for her. It was his responsibility to not facilitate her degenerating in this manner. She could not have sunk to this state if he had not enabled her to do so.

He married her; she is his problem as long as they are married. Instead he has allowed her to behave like this and chosen to bet on her predeceasing him. That was not the action of a responsible husband.
But this is not the norm at all. If anything, the couples of my parents generation the women are the ones interacting with the world more than the man. It’s the women who are learning to use smartphones to keep in touch with grandkids etc.
it’s really not the norm to have just a dependent relationship, even if one is ‘just’ a housewife.
 
Ohhh she absolutely belongs to him, bro. One hundo percent. No one's coming along to rehome her
Why are you so defensive? I asked you an honest question.

Do you honestly believe a woman to be property of her husband? As it sounds like you do, even if you don't want to admit it.
 
But this is not the norm at all. If anything, the couples of my parents generation the women are the ones interacting with the world more than the man. It’s the women who are learning to use smartphones to keep in touch with grandkids etc.
it’s really not the norm to have just a dependent relationship, even if one is ‘just’ a housewife.
Typically speaking I'd imagine most men don't want to be in a relationship with a woman who's less capable of taking care of themselves than your average teenager. I sure as fuck wouldn't.
 
Why are you so defensive? I asked you an honest question.

Do you honestly believe a woman to be property of her husband? As it sounds like you do, even if you don't want to admit it.
No, only men believe that.
 
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