UK It’s official: The UK is the second-most miserable nation in the world - Britain has been placed at the foot of a mental wellbeing index, but there are bright spots amid the gloom


Well, there’s always someone else worse off, right? Here’s looking at you Uzbekistan, the only nation to rank lower than the UK in a global mental wellbeing index. Yup, we’re more miserable than Moldova. Bluer than Belarus. Even Yemen and Ukraine are in better spirits, apparently. First world problems just got real.

Measuring mental wellbeing is a tricky business. But the US non-profit, Sapien Labs, has had a go with its Mental State of the World report, the latest edition of which has just landed. Using data from 500,000 respondents in 71 countries, it measures how people’s “inner state impacts their ability to function within their life context”. In other words, mental wellbeing relative to the setting.

The results suggest that despite living through an unfolding humanitarian disaster, Yemenis are functioning better in relative terms than not only Brits, but the Aussies and Irish, too.

Right. Forgive us for not relocating to downtown Sana’a just yet. Rich Western nations performed poorly overall, with researchers noting: “Greater wealth and economic development do not necessarily lead to greater mental wellbeing.”

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Are things really that bad in Blighty? Is our stiff upper lip truly all a-quiver? The similarly dubious but slightly woollier World Happiness Report doesn’t think so. It ranks the UK 19th in its cheeriest nations index, between the Czech Republic and Lithuania. Still, you’d require weapons-grade patriotism to survey our land and conclude that all is well. The Office for National Statistics recorded an overall decline in personal wellbeing across the UK in 2023. Meanwhile, the charity Mind warns of an unfolding mental health crisis, particularly among men and young people.

Little wonder, then, that wellness retreats are booming. I went on one last year in Cornwall, run by the ex-rugby pro Anthony Mullally. Mullally’s not your archetypal wellness guru. He doesn’t drink kale or hug you for too long. In fact, he’s 6ft 5, with a Scouse twang, bulging biceps, long ginger hair and the look of a man whose ancestors arrived in England on a longboat.

His retreats aim to equip the kind of men who are congenitally suspicious of kale with the techniques they need to “stay steady in a chaotic world”. I must say, it’s kept me calmer.

But stresses abound. Money is tight. The health system is creaking. The sea is full of poo. Our Hogarthian town centres, with their boarded-up shops and rough sleepers, are yet further signs of a struggling nation.

“We have to find a new identity,” one Ilkeston resident told me recently in the down-at-heel Derbyshire town. It was once an engine room of the Industrial Revolution but is now best known for its cash point – currently the top-rated attraction on TripAdvisor. “Typical of Ilkeston humour,” another local told me. I suppose it’s reassuring that Britain’s sense of mischief limps on.

Where, you might ask, did it go wrong? Pick your villain. Covid. Putin. Brexit. The wokerati. Austerity. Bojo. Ulez. The lettuce prime minister. The anti-growth coalition. Blair. The internet. Hmmm. The internet.

Adding to a growing body of evidence, Sapien Labs identifies a link – not just in the UK, but globally – between poor mental wellbeing and the pervasiveness of smartphones and online comms. That young people are noted to have suffered the biggest drop in mental wellbeing appears to add heft to their argument. Ditto the fact that lower-tech countries, such as Sri Lanka and Tanzania, are among those recording better wellbeing scores. Stronger family ties in those nations were also linked to better mental health.

The internet has a lot to answer for, then. It has, of course, facilitated the home-working phenomenon that hushed our cities post-Covid. It sent dating and retail online, fanned the culture wars, and distracted us, research shows, from having sex. No wonder we’re glum. Has it also robbed us of a soundtrack for these weird times? In the moribund early nineties, there was at least a musical movement to lift the nation. Scant chance of a unifying Britpop 2.0 in the streaming age, with its fragmented, fickle audiences. No wonder we’re in the midst of misty-eyed 1990s nostalgia – when mullets are back, you know you’re in trouble.

“Everything’s online now, the shops have closed.” It’s a lament I’ve heard repeatedly on my travels across the land for this newspaper. Our sense of place, it seems, has gone. We are adrift in the digital ether. Lost and lonely in our screens. Barraged by bad news.

Perhaps that’s too convenient a narrative. Like the Mental State of the World report, it tells only part of the story. Another narrative is of resilient communities across the UK, which, like Ilkeston, have stepped up to start newspapers where theirs have folded, grow food in communal spaces, and even take over post offices.

They have united, too, to save our cherished pubs, bringing these community hubs into the hands of the people who use them. The UK has lost six per cent of its pubs in the last six years – reason enough to be glum – according to the British Beer & Pub Association. In that same period the number of community-owned pubs has soared by 63 per cent. My local, the Ivy House in Nunhead, a lynchpin of our neighbourhood, was London’s first, but not its last. Even Britain’s most remote village, Inverie, has dug deep enough to save its local, The Old Forge, which is reached only by hiking 17 miles or taking a ferry.
 
If you think England’s bad, you should try Scotland.

It is. Absolutely mental .

I actually don’t mind this. I like the British climate. I like cool weather. It’s fine

This is the problem. Our rulers hate us.
It's too fucking warm in the summer now too. IT'S OVER.
 
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It's interesting how people in poorer countries like Tanzania or the Dominican Republic are happier, but people in more developed countries are miserable. I'm surprised the US is towards the top, considering how much we complain about politics and money.
 
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t's too fucking warm in the summer now too. IT'S OVER.
It has been as warm as this in the past. I remember it well enough.

"Its not MY party, its the OTHER party"
Said man currently being fucked by every party available in the ballot
And people ask my why I don't vote. Until I can vote with a rope, I am not going to participate in the charade.
 
My uneducated guess is that cuisine plays a big role in these stats. Also probably some kind feeling of cultural/religious unity.
 
The worst part is we're being made to look bad by the french too.

The only people doing any reasonable protesting for issues right now are Palestinian protesters. Nobody protests anything that's actually happening in this country. Nothing about legal migration being WAY higher than the country can reasonably sustain, speech laws, police abuse (anyone remember the "lesbian nana" incident?), cost-of-living crisis.

Compare that to the farmers protests in France where they turn up with a manure-filled van and proceed to spray pressurized shit all over their governmental buildings.

We're being cucked by the French.
It's a good thing I'm half French....
🇫🇷>🇬🇧
 
IMO Britian has always seemed like a dystopia to me. I think it is following right along with Karl Marx's prediction. Socialism the way he described is occurring in England first. If EVERYTHING and everyone is under some kind of check and monitor from the government they slowly start to become a part of it.
I am sure there are places in the countryside that are fine, but we see their urban areas of cultural export the most, and all of those seem to be soulless cosmopolitan socialist nightmares.
Salute to you elderly Englishman still living in london trying to live the life that they took from you! We mourn your passing and hope this terrible fate may be reversed.
 

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You really have got to reflect when you find yourself bitching more than every war-torn, poor, hungering country that exists
 
Imagine being rated as having worse mental wellbeing than a country that's been an active warzone for 2 years.

Cringe.

This isn't surprising when you realize that this is the country that gave Mr. Blobby a theme park.
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Just when I thought I couldn't hate the Brits any more, they have to make a gay barney with chickenpox.
 
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Daily reminder that their very best king wanted almost nothing to do with England, barely spoke any English (couldn't be bothered to learn such a mongrel language) and he ruled for some odd 9 months in total. He was more comfy in Aquitaine and marching with his army to reclaim the Holy Land.

Think about this deeply.
didn't the english monarch go through a long period of
"I AM KING OF FRANCE! I AM KING OF FRANCE! I AM KING OF FRANCE!"
Though, to be fair, a lot of people had titles without actually being those things.
 
didn't the english monarch go through a long period of
"I AM KING OF FRANCE! I AM KING OF FRANCE! I AM KING OF FRANCE!"
Though, to be fair, a lot of people had titles without actually being those things.
France has grapes, have you ever been to France? Their people may suck in the metropolitan areas, but their grapes are fucking banger.

If I was a king hundreds of years ago, I'd wish I could have an export like France's grapes and grape accessories.
 
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This is the end result of a secret 1980s Argentine intelligence plot to destabilize the UK. Now return us the islands you sad limey fucks, we want more penguins.
It's interesting how people in poorer countries like Tanzania or the Dominican Republic are happier, but people in more developed countries are miserable. I'm surprised the US is towards the top, considering how much we complain about politics and money.
Countries that underwent recent regime changes too.
 
I bet everyone asked was from London.
I wouldn’t put much stock in any of the 3rd world countries on the list either. When the nonprofit organization shows up in Somalia do you think they’re going around to a vast majority of the country or only staying the the stable, safe locations? Obviously you’re going to be more comfortable walking around all of Britain to get input from all the sad lonely losers. Probably not going to do the same in Sudan.
 
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