Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Sneedfully and Peacefully]

If Patrick were a humbler man he'd realize he's sitting on a gold mine. Just go on Cameo, child. The brothermen would pay Quasi for him, and we'd have an endless stream of Patisms.

I think even if he was humbler this is a tough ask. You'd effectively be turning your tough guy shtick into a business where before you were being sincere. It'd be humiliating that only the most reformed/redeemed of cool guys could do it. Like if Donga wrassle wrassle from the old IBS days came back and was completely normal I could see him being able to make a quick buck doing stupid fake wrestling call outs. Alas, they wouldn't be lolcows if they could change.

 

[I'mThePatMan!]

A call to all masochistic stalker children who thought Hellraiser didn't harp enough on the delicious concept of pain, and so decided to read one of Patso's books:

Which is the worst one?

I got all of them (sorry Quasi, Pat didn't get a dime here), and for some unknown reason, I'd like to try the very worst Pat has produced. Suggestions?

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Does he really believe that only 10 or so people are trolling him....

View attachment 5811955

He got confused. He said less than a dozen stalkers but he meant there were less than a dozen african americans currently being turned into pepperoni at the moment

 

[DumbDude43]

pat should go into eceleb boxing
if idubbz makes his shitty boxing event again, he should invite pat to fight one of the childs, maybe the one who visited hooligans or the one who was at his court hearing

 

[Kirtto]

Huh? He named 60 John Does in the initial defamation case. He had a spreadsheet with all their IPs next to what they said about his book on goodreads "not good".

Yes but that was before he became even more delusional and was convinced by Jack that Prongay Jr is the mastermind behind all his trolling

 

[Piggle Rick]

Has Piggy weighed in (very heavily, b/c he’s fat) yet on the Helldivers “controversy”?
Can’t wait to see his retarded take. His trotters are too fat to play the game.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Does he really believe that only 10 or so people are trolling him....

View attachment 5811955

He got the idea from the hit SNES game Cult of the Piig.

 

[Mussolini’s Merkin]

A call to all masochistic stalker children who thought Hellraiser didn't harp enough on the delicious concept of pain, and so decided to read one of Patso's books:

Which is the worst one?

I got all of them (sorry Quasi, Pat didn't get a dime here), and for some unknown reason, I'd like to try the very worst Pat has produced. Suggestions?

I think Starship Repo is generally thought to be the most insipid of them, but I'm not sure anyone has dug so deeply.

 

[Maude Snew]

I got all of them (sorry Quasi, Pat didn't get a dime here)

He wouldn't get paid anyway, there's no way that he out earned his advance with his sales numbers, which I don't have archived myself but I'm sure someone else can provide.

 

[Law]

There are many thousands of other voice recordings of him and while he always sounds like a faggot he never had that John-Waters-Camp-Gay voice again.

He's delusional and funny and odd enough to be a John Waters character, but I don't know if he's likable enough.
Maybe John Waters could make a Pat movie if all the other characters were Muppets, and Pat was the only human actor.

Tomlinsingularity

Adding this bon mot to the lore, thanks!

Just go on Cameo, child.

He would make millions from Kiwis alone.

pat should go into eceleb boxing

Is there a super-ultra-heavyweight division?

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

Maybe John Waters could make a Pat movie if all the other characters were Muppets, and Pat was the only human actor.

How about a Pat musical in the style of Avenue Q?

Motley Poo has already written a treasure trove of Pat ballads; they'd just have to he reworked a little bit.

 

[Neetorino]

How about a Pat musical in the style of Avenue Q?

Motley Poo has already written a treasure trove of Pat ballads; they'd just have to he reworked a little bit.

"The Internet is for Trolls"
"Stalker Child!"
I can see it now and it's beautiful.

 

[Maude Snew]

Is there a super-ultra-heavyweight division?

He could have one of them Star Wars he loves so much and actually fight a sun. Not ours, that one's tiny on a cosmic scale, way smaller than Fat Rick.

 

[Law]

How about a Pat musical in the style of Avenue Q?

I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today (security cam footage version)

 

[Kirtto]

I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today (security cam footage version)

Naked and Handcuffed by the Door: the musical

 

[FinnSven]

He wouldn't get paid anyway, there's no way that he out earned his advance with his sales numbers, which I don't have archived myself but I'm sure someone else can provide.

Terry Pratchett didn’t give up his day job until he was many books into Discworld.
Not only was that not actually his only series at the time, he had also topped bestseller lists a few times.

And this was when being a novelist was a reasonably well paying gig, even a sci fi author which has always been a bit more niche than say horror or romance.

Fatrick really is overconfident in his novel writing abilities to an absurd level.

 

[DumbDude43]

Is there a super-ultra-heavyweight division?

if boogie and wings could fight, fatrick can too

 

[Lana Del Hitler]

faggot

 

[Second Missing Primarch]

pat should go into eceleb boxing
if idubbz makes his shitty boxing event again, he should invite pat to fight one of the childs, maybe the one who visited hooligans or the one who was at his court hearing

I said a while back that I'd happily pay $20 to see Pat fight Uwe Boll. We'd just need to get Pat to criticize a few of Uwe's movies first and Uwe will go apeshit on him.

 

[Pierre D'Olnique]

I said a while back that I'd happily pay $20 to see Pat fight Uwe Boll. We'd just need to get Pat to criticize a few of Uwe's movies first and Uwe will go apeshit on him.

No child, I did not lose the fight. Sweet baby child, I am indeed NOT lying flat on my ass, unconscious, with a broken nose and jaw. Little infant, baby, stupid, child, I am NOT being now transported to the ICU with an oxygen mask on an a suspected brain hemorrhage. Enjoy prison.