- Joined
- Feb 8, 2024
He's the based kind of retard, I promise!
Kennel Club Book Club - The Megathread for all furry comic book, graphic novel and literature lunacy.
- Thread starter Roxanne Wolf
- Start date
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2022
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2018
I finished reading the human exterminators and I have to say, it was really really good. Better than Venlil foster program even. Honestly, Will and Rauln work so well toogether and their friendship feels quite genuine and two sided. I really wish there was more of them because I think SP struck gold on the third attempt of a human-venlil pair.
Though, after reading the extra stories and getting to know all the human-alien pairs (Will and Rauln, Dustin and Jimek, Tyler and Onso, and of course Marcel and Slanek) something started becoming increasingly obvious.
Marcel never saw Slanek as a fellow sentient being. He saw him as a really smart pet. Every single other relationship and the main and side stories seems to have mutual respect for the other party and boundaries they understood and abided by that they had to work toward from BOTH sides.
Marcel meanwhile never really respected Slanek or took him seriously, he always approached from a position of superiority and never humility.
Everytime slanek expressed disagreement about anything marcel would either ignore him (driving the ship into the arxur) force him to participate (drugging him into the paradrop) or shut him out (the helicopter).
He gets all indignant at Tyler saying that "He wants one", but his relationship with his alien is x10 times worse than tyler's because he actually treated his buddy like property/ a pet, incredibly condescendingly, always pretending he knew what's best and refusing to listen otherwise in literally any instance, because why would he? Its his pet, he obviously knows better.
Not to say slanek was perfect of course, Marcel was 80% responsible for all the bad shit, but Slanek was still for the remaining 20%, Marcel was a regular narcissist while Slanek was a covert one, which worked great for Marcel because it meant he had a doormat that couldn't fight back.
I'm convinced if Slanek was paired with Tyler he would have grown a lot more positively as a person as long as he got over Tyler's bluntness.
Fuck it not even Tyler. Dustin or Will would both have been better.
Though, after reading the extra stories and getting to know all the human-alien pairs (Will and Rauln, Dustin and Jimek, Tyler and Onso, and of course Marcel and Slanek) something started becoming increasingly obvious.
Marcel never saw Slanek as a fellow sentient being. He saw him as a really smart pet. Every single other relationship and the main and side stories seems to have mutual respect for the other party and boundaries they understood and abided by that they had to work toward from BOTH sides.
Marcel meanwhile never really respected Slanek or took him seriously, he always approached from a position of superiority and never humility.
Everytime slanek expressed disagreement about anything marcel would either ignore him (driving the ship into the arxur) force him to participate (drugging him into the paradrop) or shut him out (the helicopter).
He gets all indignant at Tyler saying that "He wants one", but his relationship with his alien is x10 times worse than tyler's because he actually treated his buddy like property/ a pet, incredibly condescendingly, always pretending he knew what's best and refusing to listen otherwise in literally any instance, because why would he? Its his pet, he obviously knows better.
Not to say slanek was perfect of course, Marcel was 80% responsible for all the bad shit, but Slanek was still for the remaining 20%, Marcel was a regular narcissist while Slanek was a covert one, which worked great for Marcel because it meant he had a doormat that couldn't fight back.
I'm convinced if Slanek was paired with Tyler he would have grown a lot more positively as a person as long as he got over Tyler's bluntness.
Fuck it not even Tyler. Dustin or Will would both have been better.
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2024
Tyler and Slanek make a better pairing, I agree. Tyler gets his own retard later, thankfully.
I do wonder how much of Marcel's dickishness comes down to him being intentionally written that way, and how much is SP being a janky writer. At least he seems to be leaning into it, if my perception of Nulia's words are correct.
I do wonder how much of Marcel's dickishness comes down to him being intentionally written that way, and how much is SP being a janky writer. At least he seems to be leaning into it, if my perception of Nulia's words are correct.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2018
The way Tyler says this sounds like a jab at Marcel and how he treats Slanek. Hell just to state the obvious, Tyler and Onso as actually good people. For example, when Tyler and Onso get back to the UN fleet after the attack at the Tilfish homeworld. Onso has a mental breakdown after seeing that dog Marcel brought planetside because it brought back the supressed memories of what the exterminators did to his Hensa.
Tyler didnt chastise him for breaking down over it. Nor did he tell him to go read Frankenstein (everytime I think about that I crack up) as a way to teach him a roundabout lesson in morality. He just comforted him, like a normal fucking person.
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2022
The virgin self righteous vegan mistreating his speep vs. The Chad Open Omnivore supporting his capyroo's TKD revenge (total kolshian death)
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2018
I'm imagining Marcel getting all indignant about Onso breaking down over the dog and shouting at him about how he's too bigoted for not liking dogs and going on a rant about how dogs aren't evil and how he needs to stop villifying predators while Onso is having flashbacks of his childhood puppy being burned alive in the background.
The more I think about it, the more this seems like the single biggest writing blunder in the entire book. Its so absurd it feels like a parody of itself.
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2019
FORGIVE ME FOR THE LONG WAIT REAL LIFE STUFF CAME UP AAAAAA
Kinda-Fanart courtesy of @Dialtone (if you want your fanart to be featured on the next post feel free to post it on my profile or DM me)
Kinda-Fanart courtesy of @Dialtone (if you want your fanart to be featured on the next post feel free to post it on my profile or DM me)
The Nature of Predators Part 13
Welcome back to the Nature of Predators review. Hopefully after 3 weeks in development it will have been worth the weight. On the plus side hopefully it gave the US Secretary-General Elias Meier stans some time to cool off from his death (RIP to a real nigga.) Without further ado, a few more chapters for you to enjoy.Sovlin is finally at Aafa and the human members of the crew depart on a shuttle so as to avoid being detected by the feds on the way in, leaving Sovlin and his crew of journalists to take care of the mission alone. Gunships intercept and Sovlin finds himself hailed by Chief Nikonus, the slimey, slippery bastard. Sovlin feeds him some bullshit about seeking asylum but Nik ain't buying it until the harchen journoscum show up to confirm his story. Luckily for Sovlin, Cilany is much better at spinning stories than he is. Being the little shit he's known to be, Sovlin uses the moment of distraction to start landing without permission. By the time Nikonus realizes what's going on it's too late to shoot him down without the ship's debris crushing a college underneath. They're allowed passage, begrudingly, but as soon as it lands a bunch of soldiers start searching the ship top to bottom.
Sovlin maintains his bravado and tries not to laugh as the soldiers search small cabinets and luggage in case there might be a human hiding inside, the thought of Carlos crammed into a drawer is simply too funny. Once they're satisfied, he and the journalists start making their way towards the meeting room of the building they're in, where some ambassadors are discussing current events. Oh hey, Jerulim is back. Hi Jerulim. Missed you. Sovlin crashes the party to make his case towards appeasement of humanity, and gets in a shouting match with the krakotl ambassador before Nikonus allows Sovlin to speak.
The angry little hedgehog starts explaining to everyone present how humanity had refused to attack any non combatants on the cradle, tells them of how the humans treat the refugees and doesn't take cattle, asserts that humanity's partnership with the arxur is because the arxur are spinning lies about first contact, and that the humans are so capable that they forced a ship full of arxur to surrender. A stunned silence washes over the room at the mention of that, and Sovlin brings forth an ultimatum: Appease the humans NOW or push them further into the arms of the arxur. After all, who wants two predators on the loose in the galaxy?
Sovlin maintains his bravado and tries not to laugh as the soldiers search small cabinets and luggage in case there might be a human hiding inside, the thought of Carlos crammed into a drawer is simply too funny. Once they're satisfied, he and the journalists start making their way towards the meeting room of the building they're in, where some ambassadors are discussing current events. Oh hey, Jerulim is back. Hi Jerulim. Missed you. Sovlin crashes the party to make his case towards appeasement of humanity, and gets in a shouting match with the krakotl ambassador before Nikonus allows Sovlin to speak.
The angry little hedgehog starts explaining to everyone present how humanity had refused to attack any non combatants on the cradle, tells them of how the humans treat the refugees and doesn't take cattle, asserts that humanity's partnership with the arxur is because the arxur are spinning lies about first contact, and that the humans are so capable that they forced a ship full of arxur to surrender. A stunned silence washes over the room at the mention of that, and Sovlin brings forth an ultimatum: Appease the humans NOW or push them further into the arms of the arxur. After all, who wants two predators on the loose in the galaxy?
With Sovlin's sidequest taken care of, he resumes the main story mission. Objective: Find evidence of Arxur first contact. Cilany, of course, begins to work her magic on that front. She guilts Nikonus into an interview in the hopes that he might be willing to give up said information when pressed. The harchen journo scums up on Nikonus at her first chance, starting off strong with accusing him of deliberately sabotaging the ships they gave Noah, Tarva, and the diplomats. He threatens to make her disappear too after that, but she hits him with the revelation that if she doesn't make it back from this trip, that story is going to be published as-is, so his only hope of beating the tyranny allegations are having a chat with her. Cilany doesn't fuck around.
Nikonis admits to the sabotage, and that it was an attempt to make it look like the humans had killed the diplomats, so that he wouldn't appear to be unfair to the humans. He simply couldn't allow human diplomacy attempts to succeed after what humanity had done to Venlil Prime (made people less afraid of predators, of course.) Cilany comes in for the kill and asks about how first contact with the Arxur REALLY went, as she has it on good authority that the arxur were attacked and starved, and to Sovlin's shock, Nikonus confirms it to be true, though not the whole truth.
The gojid's head is spinning. His whole life was built on a lie. His wife, his daughter, died to uphold that lie. He tortured an innocent human because of that lie. Without thinking Sovlin's out of his seat and pinning the leader of Aafa to his own by the throat. The disgraced captain wants answers, NOW. And Nikonus starts giving them.
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, Kolshian explorers stumbled upon sapient life in space, the Farsul. The doglike species was friendly, kind, and intelligent beyond compare, and the two hit it off like old chums. This peace was shaken up, however, when the kolshians and farsul discovered the aggressive Krakotl... and to their horror, the krakotl were carnivorous. Oh, not totally carnivorous, they're more scavengers than anything else. Alas, the concept of a meat eater exploring the galaxy was too much to bear for the noble kolshians and the clever farsul, and so they gave the krakotl an ultimatum, give up meat and be cured, or be destroyed. Obviously the krakotl chose to be cured of their carnivorous desires or they wouldn't be around today, but the cure couldn't just stop at making them allergic to meat. Those who did not obey were taken from their homes and re-educated, and a new religion cropped up overnight. The kolshians and farsul had planted fake archaeological discoveries revealing the existence of a new goddess, Inatala, who forbade eating meat and called for the deaths of all predators. If that sounds like a familiar story, it should, plenty of species have similar gods demanding the same things from their people. It's not hard to guess why that is now.
The story ends when Nikonus reveals that the krakotl were not the only race to receive this treatment, and then reveals that the gojid too were once meat-eating scavengers. Sovlin reels from the truth, his throat starts to burn, and a few moments later he's doubled over, vomiting as though he had just personally ate some meat himself. His newfound nerve escapes him as he realizes he's a predator just like the humans. He curls up into a little hedgehog ball and starts crying as he realizes himself and everyone he's ever loved are abominations unfit to live in the galaxy. Nikonus is all like "see that's why we keep this shit secret, it'd be cruel to tell people the truth." and Cilany is like "holy shit what the fuck is wrong with you"
The kolshian leader, however, assures the journalist present that she's got no proof any of what he said was true, but of course, Cilany has been livestreaming this shit to her reader base the entire time, so now he's kinda fucked. He threatens to have them shot for this but certainly executing the both of them before a live audience wouldn't be a good look, and it certainly won't take back the truth. Sovlin recovers from the shock just enough to realize that it's hopeless at this point, humanity and the arxur are destined to join forces, regardless of what he tries to tell the galaxy.
Nikonis admits to the sabotage, and that it was an attempt to make it look like the humans had killed the diplomats, so that he wouldn't appear to be unfair to the humans. He simply couldn't allow human diplomacy attempts to succeed after what humanity had done to Venlil Prime (made people less afraid of predators, of course.) Cilany comes in for the kill and asks about how first contact with the Arxur REALLY went, as she has it on good authority that the arxur were attacked and starved, and to Sovlin's shock, Nikonus confirms it to be true, though not the whole truth.
The gojid's head is spinning. His whole life was built on a lie. His wife, his daughter, died to uphold that lie. He tortured an innocent human because of that lie. Without thinking Sovlin's out of his seat and pinning the leader of Aafa to his own by the throat. The disgraced captain wants answers, NOW. And Nikonus starts giving them.
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, Kolshian explorers stumbled upon sapient life in space, the Farsul. The doglike species was friendly, kind, and intelligent beyond compare, and the two hit it off like old chums. This peace was shaken up, however, when the kolshians and farsul discovered the aggressive Krakotl... and to their horror, the krakotl were carnivorous. Oh, not totally carnivorous, they're more scavengers than anything else. Alas, the concept of a meat eater exploring the galaxy was too much to bear for the noble kolshians and the clever farsul, and so they gave the krakotl an ultimatum, give up meat and be cured, or be destroyed. Obviously the krakotl chose to be cured of their carnivorous desires or they wouldn't be around today, but the cure couldn't just stop at making them allergic to meat. Those who did not obey were taken from their homes and re-educated, and a new religion cropped up overnight. The kolshians and farsul had planted fake archaeological discoveries revealing the existence of a new goddess, Inatala, who forbade eating meat and called for the deaths of all predators. If that sounds like a familiar story, it should, plenty of species have similar gods demanding the same things from their people. It's not hard to guess why that is now.
The story ends when Nikonus reveals that the krakotl were not the only race to receive this treatment, and then reveals that the gojid too were once meat-eating scavengers. Sovlin reels from the truth, his throat starts to burn, and a few moments later he's doubled over, vomiting as though he had just personally ate some meat himself. His newfound nerve escapes him as he realizes he's a predator just like the humans. He curls up into a little hedgehog ball and starts crying as he realizes himself and everyone he's ever loved are abominations unfit to live in the galaxy. Nikonus is all like "see that's why we keep this shit secret, it'd be cruel to tell people the truth." and Cilany is like "holy shit what the fuck is wrong with you"
The kolshian leader, however, assures the journalist present that she's got no proof any of what he said was true, but of course, Cilany has been livestreaming this shit to her reader base the entire time, so now he's kinda fucked. He threatens to have them shot for this but certainly executing the both of them before a live audience wouldn't be a good look, and it certainly won't take back the truth. Sovlin recovers from the shock just enough to realize that it's hopeless at this point, humanity and the arxur are destined to join forces, regardless of what he tries to tell the galaxy.
Tarva awakens from a deep, groggy slumber and finds herself in a hospital room, being watched over by Sara. Sara gets her some water and breaks the bad news to Tarva, they had to amputate her tail. In venlil society, the tail is incredibly important, they emote with it, speak with it, show affection with it, so losing one is like losing your humanity. Venlility? Whatever. They're in contact with some of the best cybernetic developers in the world to get her a new robotail, but for the time being she's gonna have to go without, a cruel reminder that the galaxy isn't always kind.
Sara explains the fight part of fight-or-flight and understanding washes over Tarva as she realizes that acting out like this is more or less how the humans stampede. The humans really are just like them, easily frightened and irrational at times when under stress, even if they show it in different ways. The venlil asks where Noah is, and to her relief he's ok... Elias, on the other hand... Tarva pulls her blanket over her face and presses it tight to her eyes, trying to keep the tears from breaking free. They talk a bit more once she calms down and she recalls what he said to her. Sara has to hold her down in bed to stop the little wooly woman from getting up, demanding to be allowed to get up and speak to Isif, like Elias had asked her to.
Eventually the human relents and lets Tarva up, though putting her in a wheelchair first. Wheeling her off, they chat a bit about Sara's work on the way out.
Sara explains the fight part of fight-or-flight and understanding washes over Tarva as she realizes that acting out like this is more or less how the humans stampede. The humans really are just like them, easily frightened and irrational at times when under stress, even if they show it in different ways. The venlil asks where Noah is, and to her relief he's ok... Elias, on the other hand... Tarva pulls her blanket over her face and presses it tight to her eyes, trying to keep the tears from breaking free. They talk a bit more once she calms down and she recalls what he said to her. Sara has to hold her down in bed to stop the little wooly woman from getting up, demanding to be allowed to get up and speak to Isif, like Elias had asked her to.
Eventually the human relents and lets Tarva up, though putting her in a wheelchair first. Wheeling her off, they chat a bit about Sara's work on the way out.
It's the next day now and Tarva finds herself on Earth, where Isif has currently set up camp to continue rescue efforts. She finds herself wishing humans had tails when the soldiers around salute her respectfully. She doesn't quite understand what it means but she gets the picture more or less and asks if she's supposed to salute back. The soldiers, of course, tell her she can if she wants and she kinda awkwardly pushes at her ear with a paw before the soldier chuckles and offers a handshake instead. Tarva finds fear taking hold of her heart outside the door to Isif's encampment, realizing this is the first time she'll have to face the scary lizardbro without Elias to make her feel safe.
Tarva is shocked to see him with a gojid child in his mouth, and nearly dies of fright before she realizes... He's just kinda gently swinging her around by her scruff and making her laugh. He's not eating her, he's playing with her. Of course we know this girl to be Nulia, but Tarva has no fuckin clue who Nulia is. She's gleefully playing with uncle Siffy and calls him cute, causing Isif to demand the "leaf-licking demon" to take it back.
A brief aside to continue dunking on Marcel here but Isif says something interesting to Nulia at this moment:
Tarva and Isif begin to talk, and Isif agrees to stop calling her prey if she stops calling him gray. After all, her fur is gray and nobody calls her a gray. Fair enough, I suppose. Tarva thinks about Isif's yellow teeth and bony claws and realizes her heart is pounding up against her ribcage violently. She asks him what arxur society is like, if indeed they have one at all, and he produces a picture of a small village with arxur engaging in sports-like fights and younger arxur playing on wobbly pedestals of some kind. This is Wriss, Isif reveals to Tarva, a name that translates roughly to Rock. I suppose the arxur and humans really are alike in surprising ways. They briefly discuss cannibalism after Isif likens the arxur being forced to eat sapients to humans eating one another in desperate times (looking at YOU Haiti) and prion diseases, which apparently is not a thing Tarva nor the rest of the galaxy other than humanity and the arxur know about.
With the small talk out of the way however, it is time to negotiate. Isif comes in with one simple demand from the governor. Grow lab-grown meat on Venlil prime. Trade it to the arxur to satisfy the deal Elias made with him before, and he will release the captive venlil cattle. Also, Isif calls the venlil hunting-challenged, since he can't call them prey anymore, which is pretty funny. She doesn't like that idea one bit, manufacturing corpses she likens it to, but she agrees, if it means her people go free. 5 weeks until the exchange.
Tarva is shocked to see him with a gojid child in his mouth, and nearly dies of fright before she realizes... He's just kinda gently swinging her around by her scruff and making her laugh. He's not eating her, he's playing with her. Of course we know this girl to be Nulia, but Tarva has no fuckin clue who Nulia is. She's gleefully playing with uncle Siffy and calls him cute, causing Isif to demand the "leaf-licking demon" to take it back.
A brief aside to continue dunking on Marcel here but Isif says something interesting to Nulia at this moment:
Another point to the Marcel is a bad dad argument, I suppose. ANYWAY.
Tarva and Isif begin to talk, and Isif agrees to stop calling her prey if she stops calling him gray. After all, her fur is gray and nobody calls her a gray. Fair enough, I suppose. Tarva thinks about Isif's yellow teeth and bony claws and realizes her heart is pounding up against her ribcage violently. She asks him what arxur society is like, if indeed they have one at all, and he produces a picture of a small village with arxur engaging in sports-like fights and younger arxur playing on wobbly pedestals of some kind. This is Wriss, Isif reveals to Tarva, a name that translates roughly to Rock. I suppose the arxur and humans really are alike in surprising ways. They briefly discuss cannibalism after Isif likens the arxur being forced to eat sapients to humans eating one another in desperate times (looking at YOU Haiti) and prion diseases, which apparently is not a thing Tarva nor the rest of the galaxy other than humanity and the arxur know about.
With the small talk out of the way however, it is time to negotiate. Isif comes in with one simple demand from the governor. Grow lab-grown meat on Venlil prime. Trade it to the arxur to satisfy the deal Elias made with him before, and he will release the captive venlil cattle. Also, Isif calls the venlil hunting-challenged, since he can't call them prey anymore, which is pretty funny. She doesn't like that idea one bit, manufacturing corpses she likens it to, but she agrees, if it means her people go free. 5 weeks until the exchange.
October 27th. 5 weeks until the exchange (approx.)
There's pandemonium not just on Aafa but the galactic community as a whole. Good ol' Jerulim has barricaded himself in his quarters and ordered fucking airstrikes on his own planets. Obviously his remaining commanders refused, but the krakotl are in a real fuckin tizzy over being the first recorded meat eaters in the galaxy, especially after what Kalsim had done to humanity for the crime of also eating meat. It's become an implicit assumption that any species with a religion that outright forbids meat-eating may have once been meat eaters themselves, much like the krakotl and gojid. Those that were still aligned with the federation were bullied into staying by a kolshian coalition threatening to destroy anyone who left. The remaining neutrals began swaying back over to supporting humanity, the suleans and iftali have jointly decided to support Earth.
Currently Sovlin finds himself in a meeting with a few other diplomats aboard his ship (I think? It's not exactly clear where this exchange is taking place.) Present are the mazic's vice president, a Dossurian ambassador, a Harchen ambassador, and a Tilfish ambassador. The Mazic vice president has decided that her ambassador siding with humanity was the right choice, now that it's known that the federation had been harboring bloodthirsty carnivores all along.
I gotta give the mazic shoutouts in retrospect now, they don't play a huge role in the story but there's gotta be something to be said for them being the only species to completely distrust humanity yet be willing to give them a fair shake. They definitely should've played a bigger part in the story in hindsight.
Carlos and Samantha show up to the meeting as well, with the Takkan ambassador. Apparently while Sovlin was doing his stuff the UN guards were staging a jailbreak for the takkan ambassador, who is rather beat up. The harchen ambassador Raila is terrified by their presence and defensively holds out her pen like a knife while cowering in her seat, but the tilfish ambassador Dwirl instead throws himself at their feet. Now, if you don't recall, the tilfish are dog-sized ant/spiders and as such are fucking terrifying, despite being cowardly like any other. Carlos's fright would be amusing to Sovlin if he didn't nearly shoot the ambassador out of sheer shock.
The dossur apparently broke off ties with humanity after their diplomat died in the shuttle explosion, but are willing to reopen channels after Nikonus admitted to the assassination. Carlos is like, and forgive me for reusing a joke, but he and the dossur are like:
Meanwhile the tilf (tilfish i'd like to fuckingburnohmygodit'sterrifying) once again throws himself at Carlos's feet but further away this time, and apologizes profusely while offering unconditional surrender (the tilfish had been one of the species to aid the attack on Earth), begging humanity to spare him and his people. With the groveling taken care of, Carlos and Sam are here to ask if the mazic and dossur are willing to aid them, now that humanity intends to go on the offensive and bring the fight to the federation. The dossur won't be much help but the Mazic pledge their full support while the rescued takkan diplomat promises to smooth things over with his people and get them back on humanity's side.
There's pandemonium not just on Aafa but the galactic community as a whole. Good ol' Jerulim has barricaded himself in his quarters and ordered fucking airstrikes on his own planets. Obviously his remaining commanders refused, but the krakotl are in a real fuckin tizzy over being the first recorded meat eaters in the galaxy, especially after what Kalsim had done to humanity for the crime of also eating meat. It's become an implicit assumption that any species with a religion that outright forbids meat-eating may have once been meat eaters themselves, much like the krakotl and gojid. Those that were still aligned with the federation were bullied into staying by a kolshian coalition threatening to destroy anyone who left. The remaining neutrals began swaying back over to supporting humanity, the suleans and iftali have jointly decided to support Earth.
Currently Sovlin finds himself in a meeting with a few other diplomats aboard his ship (I think? It's not exactly clear where this exchange is taking place.) Present are the mazic's vice president, a Dossurian ambassador, a Harchen ambassador, and a Tilfish ambassador. The Mazic vice president has decided that her ambassador siding with humanity was the right choice, now that it's known that the federation had been harboring bloodthirsty carnivores all along.
I gotta give the mazic shoutouts in retrospect now, they don't play a huge role in the story but there's gotta be something to be said for them being the only species to completely distrust humanity yet be willing to give them a fair shake. They definitely should've played a bigger part in the story in hindsight.
Carlos and Samantha show up to the meeting as well, with the Takkan ambassador. Apparently while Sovlin was doing his stuff the UN guards were staging a jailbreak for the takkan ambassador, who is rather beat up. The harchen ambassador Raila is terrified by their presence and defensively holds out her pen like a knife while cowering in her seat, but the tilfish ambassador Dwirl instead throws himself at their feet. Now, if you don't recall, the tilfish are dog-sized ant/spiders and as such are fucking terrifying, despite being cowardly like any other. Carlos's fright would be amusing to Sovlin if he didn't nearly shoot the ambassador out of sheer shock.
The dossur apparently broke off ties with humanity after their diplomat died in the shuttle explosion, but are willing to reopen channels after Nikonus admitted to the assassination. Carlos is like, and forgive me for reusing a joke, but he and the dossur are like:
Meanwhile the tilf (tilfish i'd like to fuckingburnohmygodit'sterrifying) once again throws himself at Carlos's feet but further away this time, and apologizes profusely while offering unconditional surrender (the tilfish had been one of the species to aid the attack on Earth), begging humanity to spare him and his people. With the groveling taken care of, Carlos and Sam are here to ask if the mazic and dossur are willing to aid them, now that humanity intends to go on the offensive and bring the fight to the federation. The dossur won't be much help but the Mazic pledge their full support while the rescued takkan diplomat promises to smooth things over with his people and get them back on humanity's side.
November 27th, a whole month after Chapter 70. Perhaps it's just an uneventful time but if you ask me Space Paladin just wanted to get straight to the release of the venlil cattle. Fair enough, we didn't really miss a whole lot. Sovlin got himself an official plea deal, he's more or less been drafted into the human military. For the next 5 years, he is no longer Captain Sovlin of the Federation Fleet Command, but Captain Sovlin of the United Nations Fleet Command (and his title in the story is updated to reflect that. Just a fun detail.)
Currently, he and Captain Monahan (did I ever refer to her by name? I don't recall) are en route to the Mazic homeworld, where the federation coalition has come out to start steamrolling the traitorous elephant-things, along with a fleet of human and ex-federation ships to defend their own. Sam and Carlos are here too, having been brought along to more or less be Sovlin's fulltime tard wranglers. Also joining the crew is Tyler, Marcel's war buddy, alongside his own exchange program buddy, Onso, the Yotul (Ironic that people started discussing him in this thread while I'm typing this. Precognizant furries are my deepest fear.)
Apparently Tyler wouldn't even eat around Onso when they first met, after he accidentally made slanek vomit from snacking on his jerky rations he was a bit reserved, Of course, Onso doesn't mind being around meat eaters, unlike the venlil, yotuls don't seem to be instinctively afraid of them. Sovlin, however, starts having a mini freakout once he realizes Tyler is friends with Marcel and Slanek after the subject of his first time meeting a venlil comes up. Apparently Monahan requested Tyler join the crew because he's a fear-suppression program expert. He personally seems pleasantly surprised to hear them refer to him as an expert in anything, but his services are necessary thanks to the large amount of ex fed aliens joining the fleet who are utterly terrified both around humans and in combat situations.
Things start falling apart, of course, when Tyler asks the gojid his name. "Don't have one" is the best Sovlin can do to try to wriggle out of this situation before telling Tyler to shut the fuck up, mostly because he's nervous and trying to get out of this conversation as soon as possible. The friendliness drops in an instant and for a moment it seems like Tyler might kick Sovlin's ass, but the moment passes, for now anyway. They have a look at the sensor data, everything looks good so far. The skirmish is still ongoing and they should be on approach any moment now. Sovlin can't help but note the surprising ease the primitive yotul is having with using the ship's systems, surely Tyler must have brought him up to date. Sovlin thinks there's almost definitely recon ships around, and he leans over to Onso to ask him to run a check for it.
Onso, however, is a cheeky little cunt, and says "apologize to tyler first". Sovlin is like "you can't seriously be ignoring me over something that petty right" and Onso is like "I don't wanna work with you." Truthfully, Sovlin wholeheartedly wants to apologize to Tyler, but he's afraid what might happen if he gets too friendly with the adonis of a man. Pissing off a human is one thing, Tyler looks like he could wrestle an arxur and win. Luckily for Sovlin, Tyler tells Onso to just listen to him for now. Carlos, who has caught onto what's happening here, suggests Sovlin make up a fake name, like "Vinny". Sovlin's nose scrunches in distaste at the thought of referring to himself as Vinny and I can't tell if it's supposed to be a random dig at vinesauce or if Sovlin just really doesn't like how it sounds. Also there's the part where Tyler would be even angrier if he found out he was being lied to.
Onso interrupts the quiet conversation with a gleeful yip, he's spotted a recon ship and targets are locked. As soon as they're zeroed in a brilliant emerald streak (I think the guns shoot green? That's what I imagine they look like in my head anyway. Xcom and fallout spoiled me on green lasers.) shoots through the cosmos and decimates the tiny ship. Soon enough, they're in range for sensors to start tagging friendlies and hostiles. There's roughly 2000 hostile ships on Khoa, but Sovlin notices a discrepancy and accuses Onso of putting on filters, subspace trails indicate the presence of at LEAST 10,000 hostile ships. Tyler realizes what neither Onso or Sovlin do.
There are 8k unaccounted for ships lying in wait and the human fleet just waltzed right into their tentacles. Suffice to say this is N O T G R E A T .
Currently, he and Captain Monahan (did I ever refer to her by name? I don't recall) are en route to the Mazic homeworld, where the federation coalition has come out to start steamrolling the traitorous elephant-things, along with a fleet of human and ex-federation ships to defend their own. Sam and Carlos are here too, having been brought along to more or less be Sovlin's fulltime tard wranglers. Also joining the crew is Tyler, Marcel's war buddy, alongside his own exchange program buddy, Onso, the Yotul (Ironic that people started discussing him in this thread while I'm typing this. Precognizant furries are my deepest fear.)
Apparently Tyler wouldn't even eat around Onso when they first met, after he accidentally made slanek vomit from snacking on his jerky rations he was a bit reserved, Of course, Onso doesn't mind being around meat eaters, unlike the venlil, yotuls don't seem to be instinctively afraid of them. Sovlin, however, starts having a mini freakout once he realizes Tyler is friends with Marcel and Slanek after the subject of his first time meeting a venlil comes up. Apparently Monahan requested Tyler join the crew because he's a fear-suppression program expert. He personally seems pleasantly surprised to hear them refer to him as an expert in anything, but his services are necessary thanks to the large amount of ex fed aliens joining the fleet who are utterly terrified both around humans and in combat situations.
Things start falling apart, of course, when Tyler asks the gojid his name. "Don't have one" is the best Sovlin can do to try to wriggle out of this situation before telling Tyler to shut the fuck up, mostly because he's nervous and trying to get out of this conversation as soon as possible. The friendliness drops in an instant and for a moment it seems like Tyler might kick Sovlin's ass, but the moment passes, for now anyway. They have a look at the sensor data, everything looks good so far. The skirmish is still ongoing and they should be on approach any moment now. Sovlin can't help but note the surprising ease the primitive yotul is having with using the ship's systems, surely Tyler must have brought him up to date. Sovlin thinks there's almost definitely recon ships around, and he leans over to Onso to ask him to run a check for it.
Onso, however, is a cheeky little cunt, and says "apologize to tyler first". Sovlin is like "you can't seriously be ignoring me over something that petty right" and Onso is like "I don't wanna work with you." Truthfully, Sovlin wholeheartedly wants to apologize to Tyler, but he's afraid what might happen if he gets too friendly with the adonis of a man. Pissing off a human is one thing, Tyler looks like he could wrestle an arxur and win. Luckily for Sovlin, Tyler tells Onso to just listen to him for now. Carlos, who has caught onto what's happening here, suggests Sovlin make up a fake name, like "Vinny". Sovlin's nose scrunches in distaste at the thought of referring to himself as Vinny and I can't tell if it's supposed to be a random dig at vinesauce or if Sovlin just really doesn't like how it sounds. Also there's the part where Tyler would be even angrier if he found out he was being lied to.
Onso interrupts the quiet conversation with a gleeful yip, he's spotted a recon ship and targets are locked. As soon as they're zeroed in a brilliant emerald streak (I think the guns shoot green? That's what I imagine they look like in my head anyway. Xcom and fallout spoiled me on green lasers.) shoots through the cosmos and decimates the tiny ship. Soon enough, they're in range for sensors to start tagging friendlies and hostiles. There's roughly 2000 hostile ships on Khoa, but Sovlin notices a discrepancy and accuses Onso of putting on filters, subspace trails indicate the presence of at LEAST 10,000 hostile ships. Tyler realizes what neither Onso or Sovlin do.
There are 8k unaccounted for ships lying in wait and the human fleet just waltzed right into their tentacles. Suffice to say this is N O T G R E A T .
There's a calm among the human crew despite the fact that they're completely surrounded. They're significantly outnumbered, the fissan on comms is screaming, the venlil are sobbing hysterically, and Onso is... actually, Onso is fine. Again, yotuls are made of braver stuff than the other ex-feds. There's not a lot to describe here, it's a big action sequence. Humans have a few drones that can help turn the tide somewhat, like they used on Earth, though their stock is incredibly low compared to what they deployed in Earth's defense. Sovlin identifies some easy targets while the drones chip away at the shields of fed ships. Something happens that catches Sovlin off-guard, however. Some of the missiles humanity seems to like so much? They're dropping the feds' shields instantly, without any need for those slow-charging plasma cannons. Onso proudly proclaims that "those fuckers got scienced!" and oh Onso I love you but never say that ever again.
In short, humanity has developed EMP missiles that short out the shields on contact, leaving them sitting ducks for the humans' kinetic weapons. They might have the numbers advantage, but it seems that humanity has started crossing them in the field of technology. The feds are suffering catastrophic losses now, so if they're gonna leave a serious dent in them they'll have to hit hard and hit fast before the feds retreat. It's far from an easy task, but as long as everyone keeps a cool he-and Sovlin is having a freakout. I looked away, what happened. Ok apparently Tyler said some shit to him about how unfun he is and Sovlin had a fuckin breakdown about how nothing has been fun since hearing his daughter be eaten alive.
Carlos pats him on the back. He told the guys at the UN that Sovlin needed a psych evaluation after what he's been through, but he got ignored. He thinks Sovlin shouldn't've been cleared for active duty, but Sovlin insists he's fine despite having just suffered a public outburst about how miserable he is. Tyler asks him to just find them the path of least resistance for their missiles and Sovlin obliges. A plasma beam shaves the underbelly of the ship and sends the whole thing reeling, and Sovlin only barely manages to register a target lock, crying out for the navs to bank hard now or they're all dead. Of course, nav systems are struggling after a hit like that, so it's no good. Monahan has them redirect all power to the engines and nav systems asap and they just BARELY manage to swooce on out of there right as a plasma beam soars on by.
After that, they clean up a few more ships before the fleet retreats. Now all that's left is to sweep up the bombers approaching Khoa.
In short, humanity has developed EMP missiles that short out the shields on contact, leaving them sitting ducks for the humans' kinetic weapons. They might have the numbers advantage, but it seems that humanity has started crossing them in the field of technology. The feds are suffering catastrophic losses now, so if they're gonna leave a serious dent in them they'll have to hit hard and hit fast before the feds retreat. It's far from an easy task, but as long as everyone keeps a cool he-and Sovlin is having a freakout. I looked away, what happened. Ok apparently Tyler said some shit to him about how unfun he is and Sovlin had a fuckin breakdown about how nothing has been fun since hearing his daughter be eaten alive.
Carlos pats him on the back. He told the guys at the UN that Sovlin needed a psych evaluation after what he's been through, but he got ignored. He thinks Sovlin shouldn't've been cleared for active duty, but Sovlin insists he's fine despite having just suffered a public outburst about how miserable he is. Tyler asks him to just find them the path of least resistance for their missiles and Sovlin obliges. A plasma beam shaves the underbelly of the ship and sends the whole thing reeling, and Sovlin only barely manages to register a target lock, crying out for the navs to bank hard now or they're all dead. Of course, nav systems are struggling after a hit like that, so it's no good. Monahan has them redirect all power to the engines and nav systems asap and they just BARELY manage to swooce on out of there right as a plasma beam soars on by.
After that, they clean up a few more ships before the fleet retreats. Now all that's left is to sweep up the bombers approaching Khoa.
Heyyyy it's Slanek again. What's he up to. Oh cool, he and Marcel are aboard a transport ship en route to the tilfish home planet. Slanek notes that all of the humans seem incredibly on edge when faced with the prospect of landing on a bug infested planet. I wonder how many of them have seen starship troopers. I'm almost certain Space Paladin has, I'm completely convinced the Tilfish were introduced in the story altogether specifically to set up and subvert the typical "space marines fighting back hordes of insect aliens" trope. Anyways, the pair of them discuss current events a while, They aren't a big fan of the whole "cure" thing the kolshians had cooked up for the galaxy, that's for sure.
The ship lands on a landing pad the tilfish had set up, and hey, cool, some more planet lore. This is Sillis, home planet of the Tilfish, known for constant stormy weather fueled by the panthalassa. Panthalassa? The fuck is a panthalassa?
Huh. So they don't actually explain what the panthalassa is but seeing as it's named after the pangea ocean thing I think it's a pretty safe assumption that the Tilfish live on a supercontinent surrounded by a massive, stormy ocean. Neat!
Awaiting the landing humans is a terrified looking tilfish whom the humans surround and point guns at as it offers them a basket of fruit, jams, and preserves. This is General Birla, the only tilfish who voted against the attack on Earth, sent specifically because Dwirl was hoping she was the least likely of all of them to be immediately gunned down. She starts leading them away and explaining the current sit-rep to the human soldiers.
Problem 1: Mass protests. People do not want to be occupied by humans, so that's not great.
Problem 2: The exterminators have partnered up with rogue generals and have put out a bounty for dead humans.
Problem 3: THE GOVERNMENT DOESN'T HAVE ANY GUNS OR SHIPS BECAUSE THE HUMANS TOOK THEM ALL UH OH.
So they're more or less powerless to stop the more violent dissidents. Humanity will likely have to impose martial law. Slanek and Marcel are being friendly again, I guess the issues they had last time have been more or less patched up in the month since new york's destruction. Another stampede lays out before them when they arrive at the city via supersonic train, seems the tilfish were terrified of the approaching humans, much like the gojid were. However a significant portion didn't run. Angry, terrified protestors mob the streets around the train. Luckily, the general had armored vehicles prepared for transport, she'd rather they didn't massacre her people just to get through.
Slanek notes that the tilfish vehicles are not self-driving. I guess Elon Musk finally got them working in this universe. Good for him?
OH GOD. We're getting to the Slanek fucking LOSES IT arc. He hears protestors outside the truck calling for all humans to burn and quietly starts opening the blinders... raises his gun... and... Marcel, eyes wide, grabs the gun from Slanek. No shooting civilians you little goofus. Instead, they deploy some anti riot tactics, using a speaker to assault the ears... err, antenna??? of the tilfish protestors, who start vomiting and clutching at their... hearing apparatuses. This is followed up by a volley of teargas, and the protestors finally retreat away from the vehicle. Marcel, over the speaker, asks them politely to "please disperse" and that a designated time will be set for airing grievances in a civilized manner. Thus, Festivus was founded.
The general asks what her planet will be like as a vassal of humanity and Marcel insists that they won't be forcing anyone to modify their lifestyle or beliefs.
The ship lands on a landing pad the tilfish had set up, and hey, cool, some more planet lore. This is Sillis, home planet of the Tilfish, known for constant stormy weather fueled by the panthalassa. Panthalassa? The fuck is a panthalassa?
Huh. So they don't actually explain what the panthalassa is but seeing as it's named after the pangea ocean thing I think it's a pretty safe assumption that the Tilfish live on a supercontinent surrounded by a massive, stormy ocean. Neat!
Awaiting the landing humans is a terrified looking tilfish whom the humans surround and point guns at as it offers them a basket of fruit, jams, and preserves. This is General Birla, the only tilfish who voted against the attack on Earth, sent specifically because Dwirl was hoping she was the least likely of all of them to be immediately gunned down. She starts leading them away and explaining the current sit-rep to the human soldiers.
Problem 1: Mass protests. People do not want to be occupied by humans, so that's not great.
Problem 2: The exterminators have partnered up with rogue generals and have put out a bounty for dead humans.
Problem 3: THE GOVERNMENT DOESN'T HAVE ANY GUNS OR SHIPS BECAUSE THE HUMANS TOOK THEM ALL UH OH.
So they're more or less powerless to stop the more violent dissidents. Humanity will likely have to impose martial law. Slanek and Marcel are being friendly again, I guess the issues they had last time have been more or less patched up in the month since new york's destruction. Another stampede lays out before them when they arrive at the city via supersonic train, seems the tilfish were terrified of the approaching humans, much like the gojid were. However a significant portion didn't run. Angry, terrified protestors mob the streets around the train. Luckily, the general had armored vehicles prepared for transport, she'd rather they didn't massacre her people just to get through.
Slanek notes that the tilfish vehicles are not self-driving. I guess Elon Musk finally got them working in this universe. Good for him?
OH GOD. We're getting to the Slanek fucking LOSES IT arc. He hears protestors outside the truck calling for all humans to burn and quietly starts opening the blinders... raises his gun... and... Marcel, eyes wide, grabs the gun from Slanek. No shooting civilians you little goofus. Instead, they deploy some anti riot tactics, using a speaker to assault the ears... err, antenna??? of the tilfish protestors, who start vomiting and clutching at their... hearing apparatuses. This is followed up by a volley of teargas, and the protestors finally retreat away from the vehicle. Marcel, over the speaker, asks them politely to "please disperse" and that a designated time will be set for airing grievances in a civilized manner. Thus, Festivus was founded.
The general asks what her planet will be like as a vassal of humanity and Marcel insists that they won't be forcing anyone to modify their lifestyle or beliefs.
Quotes that do not age well.
Lucky for Tarva they found a way to spin the labgrown-meat business without making herself look bad. Simply make the human refugees work the meat factories instead of the venlil, and humans will be able to take credit for feeding the arxur in exchange for freeing the venlil. But today is the day. General Kam went out to make the exchange, and they're waiting to hear back from him. The humans present are wearing full body suits to conceal their identities from the incoming venlil cattle. Instead, however, the person onscreen is Chief Hunter Isif. Turns out he figured out the venlil's encryption ages ago, but now he's using it for a more wholesome reason.
He wanted to call ahead to let Tarva know that he is genuinely thankful, despite their differences and the animosity between their people, he is grateful for what she has done. The deal went over smoothly and the cattle should be on their way now.
Isif, however, has another reason for his personal call. He wanted to relay a message to Noah in particular, since getting in contact with UN Secretary-General Zhao (The chinese general who used to work under Elias has taken his position. He never plays as big of a role but he's still fairly important to the story now that he's in charge.) is proving to be difficult, to say the least. See, humanity vassalizing the tilfish? That's not gonna fly. Sillis is NOT under Isif's control, an entirely different Chief Hunter handles that sector, and they are PISSED that humanity wants them to call off the attack on the tilfs. Isif will do what he can to try to convince the other Chief Hunter to cool it and let humanity take the harchen planet and Sillis, but he makes no promises.
After that, transport ships start docking at the hospital. It's a sorry sight that breaks Tarva's wooly little heart, when two dirty, mangy venlil are rolled into the room. Their eyes glassed over, their bodies unresponsive, their necks branded with arxur script. The woman of the pair starts screaming as soon as Noah and Sara start lifting her onto a bed, and they swaddle the pitiful, traumatized woman into the bed. The male of the pair maintains his composure somewhat, and when they ask his name he starts shakily listing off a number. They shut that down immediately and plea with him to try to remember his name. It takes him a minute but he thinks his name used to be Glim. Tarva starts attending to the female venlil, and she finally squeaks out that she recognizes Tarva.
This is Haysi, used to run the venlil museum of history, before she was captured by arxur. She used to spend all day asking Tarva for grants. Tarva assures her the museum would be glad to have her back, once she's better. The humans ask Glim what he used to do before he was cattle, and he reveals he used to be an extermination officer. That... is going to be a difficult one, when he realizes he's being nurtured by predators. When Haysi asks about the strange, suited-up creatures, Sara hits her with some half-truths to keep her from panicking. They're gaians, she explains, and for cultural reasons they wear the masks and suits. All technically true. Suffice to say, this is going to be a long journey to recovery.
He wanted to call ahead to let Tarva know that he is genuinely thankful, despite their differences and the animosity between their people, he is grateful for what she has done. The deal went over smoothly and the cattle should be on their way now.
Oh, look at that, it's quite possibly the most important exchange of dialogue in the entire series. This seems to be a recurring theme in the series, and one that Isif embodies all too well. He regrets his complicitness in the atrocities the arxur have committed, but it was kill or be killed for him. I don't know how you make someone who is effectively a cannibal sympathetic, but I'll give SpacePaladin props, he did it.
Isif, however, has another reason for his personal call. He wanted to relay a message to Noah in particular, since getting in contact with UN Secretary-General Zhao (The chinese general who used to work under Elias has taken his position. He never plays as big of a role but he's still fairly important to the story now that he's in charge.) is proving to be difficult, to say the least. See, humanity vassalizing the tilfish? That's not gonna fly. Sillis is NOT under Isif's control, an entirely different Chief Hunter handles that sector, and they are PISSED that humanity wants them to call off the attack on the tilfs. Isif will do what he can to try to convince the other Chief Hunter to cool it and let humanity take the harchen planet and Sillis, but he makes no promises.
After that, transport ships start docking at the hospital. It's a sorry sight that breaks Tarva's wooly little heart, when two dirty, mangy venlil are rolled into the room. Their eyes glassed over, their bodies unresponsive, their necks branded with arxur script. The woman of the pair starts screaming as soon as Noah and Sara start lifting her onto a bed, and they swaddle the pitiful, traumatized woman into the bed. The male of the pair maintains his composure somewhat, and when they ask his name he starts shakily listing off a number. They shut that down immediately and plea with him to try to remember his name. It takes him a minute but he thinks his name used to be Glim. Tarva starts attending to the female venlil, and she finally squeaks out that she recognizes Tarva.
This is Haysi, used to run the venlil museum of history, before she was captured by arxur. She used to spend all day asking Tarva for grants. Tarva assures her the museum would be glad to have her back, once she's better. The humans ask Glim what he used to do before he was cattle, and he reveals he used to be an extermination officer. That... is going to be a difficult one, when he realizes he's being nurtured by predators. When Haysi asks about the strange, suited-up creatures, Sara hits her with some half-truths to keep her from panicking. They're gaians, she explains, and for cultural reasons they wear the masks and suits. All technically true. Suffice to say, this is going to be a long journey to recovery.
Back to the defense of Khoa, Sovlin can't help but notice the unusual tactics the kolshians undertake. They don't fight like any federation prey species he's ever worked with, and he's worked with Kolshian officers extensively (Recel, for example.) As far as Onso can tell, the planet below is still unscathed. The mazic are safe, for now, but the battle to keep it that way is still well underway. During the downtime, the crew is discussing how much it reminds them of the battle for Earth. Sam, of course, can't help but fantasize about the captive krakotl committing suicide by three shots to the back of the head.
And then Tyler calls Sovlin by name. Looks like the cat's out of the bag. Tyler looks FUCKING PISSED, but tells him to just keep doing his job. For now. Onso asks how Tyler and Sovlin know eachother but Sovlin is shouted down by Tyler when he tries to respond. Some ships are en route to the planet below, bombers. No hope of intercepting them at this rate. Heavily armored farsul ships, much like the armored arxur bombers, hang back and watch dutifully for any opportunity to wreak havoc on the mazic. Currently, 5 of them seem keen on getting in the ship's way. Onso suggests ramming past them, they're currently stationary and seem to be on the slower side, so as long as they can safely blow past them it should be fine. Sovlin can't help but wonder if Onso has predator's disease, considering his seeming knack for violence. Perhaps the humans have their own Jala now.
They manage to crash through with only minor scrapes and Onso lets out a delighted howl, but to their surprise they find the bombers simply waiting, rather than immediately dropping their payload. A kolshian voice hails them over the comms, demanding the humans to stop their advance now, or bombs will be dropped. Monohan responds that they are halting their advance and asks to find a resolution that doesn't involve the wholesale slaughter of innocents. It seems the time to fight is over, now is the time to bargain.
And then Tyler calls Sovlin by name. Looks like the cat's out of the bag. Tyler looks FUCKING PISSED, but tells him to just keep doing his job. For now. Onso asks how Tyler and Sovlin know eachother but Sovlin is shouted down by Tyler when he tries to respond. Some ships are en route to the planet below, bombers. No hope of intercepting them at this rate. Heavily armored farsul ships, much like the armored arxur bombers, hang back and watch dutifully for any opportunity to wreak havoc on the mazic. Currently, 5 of them seem keen on getting in the ship's way. Onso suggests ramming past them, they're currently stationary and seem to be on the slower side, so as long as they can safely blow past them it should be fine. Sovlin can't help but wonder if Onso has predator's disease, considering his seeming knack for violence. Perhaps the humans have their own Jala now.
They manage to crash through with only minor scrapes and Onso lets out a delighted howl, but to their surprise they find the bombers simply waiting, rather than immediately dropping their payload. A kolshian voice hails them over the comms, demanding the humans to stop their advance now, or bombs will be dropped. Monohan responds that they are halting their advance and asks to find a resolution that doesn't involve the wholesale slaughter of innocents. It seems the time to fight is over, now is the time to bargain.
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2024
Let's do some more bonus chapters.
The next batch features Human Exterminators 2! It also has one of the first actually bad stories, and one that was almost, so very nearly amazing, but fumbled it.
It's Kalsim's trial, what the fuck do you want me to say? As fascinating as it would've been to get a full transcript of the entire thing, SP's not a lawyer and the more legal stuff he writes the more likely he is to make a glaring mistake. Using the powers of JCS and Matt Orchard, he instead wisely focuses on the important parts and keeps court procedure to a minimum. If there's any lawyers who write fanfiction out there, please please please write the full trial okay thank you. It starts with that piece of shit Kalsim arriving at the courtroom in chains. Out of all the characters in the story, it's absolutely him who's deepest in denial, to the point where he doesn't even seem to realise it. He interprets the fury of the human crowd, and an attempted attack by a particularly enraged person, as simply proof of their deep-rooted savagery, rather than, you know, anger at having their world exploded. Kalsim's got a venlil lawyer (how they found anyone to defend this asshole is a mystery) who absolutely hates his guts, which is always entertaining. Everyone knows that Kalsim is guilty - his lawyer is there to try and prevent an execution.
At every point, Kalsim assumes the worst of the human's legal system, considering it a tribalistic and ritualistic farce of summary executions and corruption (wow, SO true oomfie), and expects to be shot in the face at any moment. He also goes over his usual greater good cope and how bad he feels for the humans he glassed. The prosector rattles off all the charges against him and emphasises how the bird knew what he was doing was wrong and did it anyway, even with his own homeworld under attack. Thyon, his first officer, is mentioned as a witness, causing Kalsim to express shock that he wasn't killed and eaten. Incidentally I think Thyon might be the only notable male Farsul? One little detail which I find cute is that Kalsim was given a perch rather than a chair. What an adorable mental image.
Kalsim spends a lot of time (in his own head) disagreeing with many of the assertions about his thought process. He didn't abandon his homeworld to the arxur because his desire to murder humans was so high, it was because he was willing to sacrifice his homeworld to ensure the human disease didn't spread! He wasn't EAGER to sedate his child hostage, he was just protecting him from Zarn! The Intestine-Eater WAS a predator and saying it was a venlil is just nonsense! He mentally resists at every turn, even if he keeps his beak shut and allows proceedings to continue without interruption. In that regard, he's a model defendant. GG.
William Kane of all people shows up at one point, but his cameo is very brief as he outlines the Intestine-Eater case as proof that Kalsim had a motive against predators and humans (Kalsim was the initial investigator into that case, and displayed a fervour never seen before in tracking down the carnivore that did it). Kalsim falls deeper and deeper into despair as time goes on, but it's mostly due to not quite understanding what's actually happening - he sees it all as a farce, but his venlil lawyer is considerably more calculating than that, and has a plan to try and spare him from the death penalty, which we'll see a little later. Following the final prosecution witness, which is a familiar face, Kalsim all but gives up, and succumbs to his inevitable fate...
At every point, Kalsim assumes the worst of the human's legal system, considering it a tribalistic and ritualistic farce of summary executions and corruption (wow, SO true oomfie), and expects to be shot in the face at any moment. He also goes over his usual greater good cope and how bad he feels for the humans he glassed. The prosector rattles off all the charges against him and emphasises how the bird knew what he was doing was wrong and did it anyway, even with his own homeworld under attack. Thyon, his first officer, is mentioned as a witness, causing Kalsim to express shock that he wasn't killed and eaten. Incidentally I think Thyon might be the only notable male Farsul? One little detail which I find cute is that Kalsim was given a perch rather than a chair. What an adorable mental image.
Kalsim spends a lot of time (in his own head) disagreeing with many of the assertions about his thought process. He didn't abandon his homeworld to the arxur because his desire to murder humans was so high, it was because he was willing to sacrifice his homeworld to ensure the human disease didn't spread! He wasn't EAGER to sedate his child hostage, he was just protecting him from Zarn! The Intestine-Eater WAS a predator and saying it was a venlil is just nonsense! He mentally resists at every turn, even if he keeps his beak shut and allows proceedings to continue without interruption. In that regard, he's a model defendant. GG.
William Kane of all people shows up at one point, but his cameo is very brief as he outlines the Intestine-Eater case as proof that Kalsim had a motive against predators and humans (Kalsim was the initial investigator into that case, and displayed a fervour never seen before in tracking down the carnivore that did it). Kalsim falls deeper and deeper into despair as time goes on, but it's mostly due to not quite understanding what's actually happening - he sees it all as a farce, but his venlil lawyer is considerably more calculating than that, and has a plan to try and spare him from the death penalty, which we'll see a little later. Following the final prosecution witness, which is a familiar face, Kalsim all but gives up, and succumbs to his inevitable fate...
Which happens here. It begins with the leadup to the sentence, but veers off before then to the defence witnesses. There's only two, which is two more than I expected. One is glossed over, presumably because he had little to add, but one is given a whole section to himself. A xenogeneticist, who discusses the extent of the krakotl gene tampering. Kalsim doesn't see the point, and is outright offended that his species' omnivorous past is being dredged up, but his lawyer seems delighted.
So, what is Kalsim's sentence? If you don't know and don't care to find out by reading this bonus chapter - it's life in prison. Despite Kalsim's assumptions about it being from a weak-willed herbivore judge, it was actually a human judge that decided against the death penalty, as he didn't think Kalsim (with his Federation-fuckled upbringing, bought to his attention by the xenogeneticist) was mentally competent enough to deserve instant death, and instead deserves a slow death in a cell. Nice. His lawyer tells him to fuck off, and Kalsim is taken away in chains to face his fate.
Kalsim's trial is fanservice in its purest form. And it's very interesting. Like I said, I just wish it'd been longer. I know this is quite a brief analysis but it's the kind of story that speaks for itself. It's just kind of a shame that the arc of such an important character is bought to an end behind a damn paywall.
So, what is Kalsim's sentence? If you don't know and don't care to find out by reading this bonus chapter - it's life in prison. Despite Kalsim's assumptions about it being from a weak-willed herbivore judge, it was actually a human judge that decided against the death penalty, as he didn't think Kalsim (with his Federation-fuckled upbringing, bought to his attention by the xenogeneticist) was mentally competent enough to deserve instant death, and instead deserves a slow death in a cell. Nice. His lawyer tells him to fuck off, and Kalsim is taken away in chains to face his fate.
Kalsim's trial is fanservice in its purest form. And it's very interesting. Like I said, I just wish it'd been longer. I know this is quite a brief analysis but it's the kind of story that speaks for itself. It's just kind of a shame that the arc of such an important character is bought to an end behind a damn paywall.
I'm not quite sure how I feel about this one. It's very exciting, with the frequent action and twists, but there's something about the narrators that really gets up my nose. There's something really... twee about Bonsen, and Dr. Bahri makes me feel oddly uncomfortable. I think it's her dehumanisation of Bonsen despite her insistence otherwise. SP's trying another novel way of telling a story - two perspectives in one chapter. Also I drop a spoiler later so go read the story first if that bothers you.
It begins with Bonsen, a zurulian child, being 'treated' for predator disease. Predator disease is something that permeates Federation society. If your brain doesn't work properly, you have predator disease. If you're standoffish or a loner, you have predator disease. If you go against the grain, you have predator disease. This is what I meant by the barbarism of Feddie medicine - while their ability to work with physical injuries is astonishing, their mental health is incredibly primitive by comparison. It's theorised that it comes down to control from the Kolshians, who have diffused the notion of PD through Federation society to stop the other races from questioning the status quo. One might find it all unrealistic, but at one point, we humans didn't understand mental health either. And on some levels, we still don't.
Bonsen is being electroshocked with an old-fashioned brain basket for the simple crime of not wanting to be electroshocked. The level of electricity is enough to make her bleed from the mouth - something her human saviours are quick to condemn. Bonsen's lucky that today's the day the predator disease facilities are being examined by members of the UN - their immediate reaction to seeing her trussed up in an electroshock machine is to beat the shit out of every venlil in the room and break her free. Predictably, however, Bonsen is terrified of their binocular vision, and attempts to escape their nurturing grasp.
Dr. Bahri takes over, and details fleeing the facility with their liberated patient in hand. She's a psychologist, here with the two UN boys to have a simple tour of the facility to get an idea of what predator disease even is. Well, it's fucked is what it is. Makes Onso's brain pills seem wholesome by comparison. Their exfiltration is halted only by the desire to get food, but this proves to be a costly mistake in more ways than one - not just because it lets pissed off exterminators catch up with them, but it makes Bonsen think humans are herbivores, which just results in ~more trauma~ when this idea (which Bahri is only too happy to lean into) is inevitably torn apart. The gang flee the exterminators, only to run into a familiar face.
As much as I want to be coy about it, I have to drop a spoiler here - it's William, again. You'd better get used to seeing this guy, because he and his mates pop up all the fucking time. It's fine here, but it becomes egregious later. Either way, William and Luala send the other exterminators on a wild goose chase so he can take them to the UN, where they can be admonished by Noah (yes, he does exist in the bonus chapters!), before a plan is enacted (with Tarva's blessing) to replace predator disease superstition with real, actual medicine. William and Rauln are part of the team that arrest the operators of the facility, and William discovers his inner pigger as he proceeds to brutalise the administrator (who 'treated' Bonsen personally) in a way that's karmic, but was really done for the wrong reasons. William is a real sadist sometimes. The story continues into Bonsen adjusting to her new life in the improved facilities, while continuing to bond with Bahri. One of the UN guys (who's been through some serious shit) remains to help rebuild things, while the other soldier (whose unsavoury opinions he shares with William set up shenanigans in future stories) is sidelined.
Bahri consistently treats Bonsen like a puppy (she literally gets put in a damn dog basket at one point) and it's really off-putting considering her role as a voice of reason. Yeah, the little zurulian's cute, but Bahri isn't supposed to be that retard Lars, and her constantly calling Bonsen adorable and scritching her all over makes it seem like she doesn't see her as a TRUE sapient... I don't know if I'm just interpreting it the wrong way (to be fair, it's happened before) and maybe it's normal to see traumatised kids as such, but still, it's just rubbing me up the wrong way. I liked the parts with William and Luala, the strong continuity with upcoming stories, and the poignancy of Tarva being convinced to fix the medicine of Venlil Prime (it still hasn't been renamed!) was stark, yet simple. PD is great for setting up future stories - one of the big ones coming up takes a lot of setup from this - but I just can't get over Bahri's weird treatment of Bonsen. But that might just be me?
It begins with Bonsen, a zurulian child, being 'treated' for predator disease. Predator disease is something that permeates Federation society. If your brain doesn't work properly, you have predator disease. If you're standoffish or a loner, you have predator disease. If you go against the grain, you have predator disease. This is what I meant by the barbarism of Feddie medicine - while their ability to work with physical injuries is astonishing, their mental health is incredibly primitive by comparison. It's theorised that it comes down to control from the Kolshians, who have diffused the notion of PD through Federation society to stop the other races from questioning the status quo. One might find it all unrealistic, but at one point, we humans didn't understand mental health either. And on some levels, we still don't.
Bonsen is being electroshocked with an old-fashioned brain basket for the simple crime of not wanting to be electroshocked. The level of electricity is enough to make her bleed from the mouth - something her human saviours are quick to condemn. Bonsen's lucky that today's the day the predator disease facilities are being examined by members of the UN - their immediate reaction to seeing her trussed up in an electroshock machine is to beat the shit out of every venlil in the room and break her free. Predictably, however, Bonsen is terrified of their binocular vision, and attempts to escape their nurturing grasp.
Dr. Bahri takes over, and details fleeing the facility with their liberated patient in hand. She's a psychologist, here with the two UN boys to have a simple tour of the facility to get an idea of what predator disease even is. Well, it's fucked is what it is. Makes Onso's brain pills seem wholesome by comparison. Their exfiltration is halted only by the desire to get food, but this proves to be a costly mistake in more ways than one - not just because it lets pissed off exterminators catch up with them, but it makes Bonsen think humans are herbivores, which just results in ~more trauma~ when this idea (which Bahri is only too happy to lean into) is inevitably torn apart. The gang flee the exterminators, only to run into a familiar face.
As much as I want to be coy about it, I have to drop a spoiler here - it's William, again. You'd better get used to seeing this guy, because he and his mates pop up all the fucking time. It's fine here, but it becomes egregious later. Either way, William and Luala send the other exterminators on a wild goose chase so he can take them to the UN, where they can be admonished by Noah (yes, he does exist in the bonus chapters!), before a plan is enacted (with Tarva's blessing) to replace predator disease superstition with real, actual medicine. William and Rauln are part of the team that arrest the operators of the facility, and William discovers his inner pigger as he proceeds to brutalise the administrator (who 'treated' Bonsen personally) in a way that's karmic, but was really done for the wrong reasons. William is a real sadist sometimes. The story continues into Bonsen adjusting to her new life in the improved facilities, while continuing to bond with Bahri. One of the UN guys (who's been through some serious shit) remains to help rebuild things, while the other soldier (whose unsavoury opinions he shares with William set up shenanigans in future stories) is sidelined.
Bahri consistently treats Bonsen like a puppy (she literally gets put in a damn dog basket at one point) and it's really off-putting considering her role as a voice of reason. Yeah, the little zurulian's cute, but Bahri isn't supposed to be that retard Lars, and her constantly calling Bonsen adorable and scritching her all over makes it seem like she doesn't see her as a TRUE sapient... I don't know if I'm just interpreting it the wrong way (to be fair, it's happened before) and maybe it's normal to see traumatised kids as such, but still, it's just rubbing me up the wrong way. I liked the parts with William and Luala, the strong continuity with upcoming stories, and the poignancy of Tarva being convinced to fix the medicine of Venlil Prime (it still hasn't been renamed!) was stark, yet simple. PD is great for setting up future stories - one of the big ones coming up takes a lot of setup from this - but I just can't get over Bahri's weird treatment of Bonsen. But that might just be me?
After all the heavy shit in Kalsim's Trial and Predator Disease, we switch to a chillout chapter, although this one starts with some drama. Zhao and Cilany are enjoying a tasty dinner together as they discuss politics. However, Cilany nearly dies due to food contamination - some sort of animal product had touched her pasta and caused her to go into anaphylactic shock, and she gets whirled off to the hospital...
Which leads to nothing much, as the story abruptly changes to Cilany going on an adventure with based retard Lars. Uh, surprise. After her recovery, she starts poking around online to discover the 'real' humanity, without the UN restrictions governing their experiences. While some Humanity First goon calls her a gay retard niggerfaggot, other humans dogpile them and tell them to get the fuck out, in a moment eerily similar to the way Glim was thrown out of Callsi's bar. However, nobody told Cilany about stranger danger on the internet, as she's only too happy to start messaging some complete random on a whim! Said random turns out to be Lars, who is harmless, but who knows what sort of sick fuck might be on the other side of that username, Cilany! Have you never seen To Catch a Predator? It gets even more laughable when she agrees to go to Sweden and hang out with him! At least she looked at his social media first.
HOW the UN decided to allow Cilany (a person with a LOT of enemies right now) to go on a jaunt to Sweden to chill with a known loose cannon is a mystery that will never be solved. They do send a couple of guards to keep an eye on her, but still! After the amusing account of her struggles getting through security, Cilany encounters retard Lars in his retard car. Said retard car has to be seen to be believed. However, Lars isn't a complete retard, and tells the lizard that getting into the car of an Internet stranger is a stupid idea. Too late now though, he proceeds to beat her up and eat her- nah, they just drive off so they can partake in lots of fun human activities.
Lars has partially learned his lesson from last time he was showing ayys around - he chooses far less intense activities. He takes her to a theme park, which is ANOTHER violation of alien interaction, and while he tries to get her on a rollercoaster, the UN guards (who, despite Lars's assertions, probably know of his foolish behaviour before, and allowed him to drag Cilany to a restricted location, what the fuck is even happening) stop him from doing so, and he takes her to a ferris wheel instead. Over the course of the next few days, they go to a football (not a handegg) game (SP outs himself as an American, as he can't help but describe the game as monotonous), listen to some heavy metal, eat delicious vegetables, ride a horse, and discuss human television, all while they debate what Cilany should include in her report. Lars might be retarded, but he's probably the best choice for this topic, as he shows a sort of low IQ wisdom that allows him to articulate the duality of man in no uncertain terms, allowing the journalist to write a nice, beefy article, that will no doubt be another influential piece in the world of human-alien relations. She promises to see Lars again, which (along with the waist holding and side-leaning) some see as a ship tease and some don't. It's up to you.
This one's just weird. Cilany isn't really a great narrator because her professional distance results in her coming across as a bit... distant. Even when she says she's cutting loose and living in the present, it doesn't feel that way, because her cadence seems almost mechanical. While she's doing this for her article, the thing never really leaves her mind at any point - you can't say you're cutting loose when you immediately think about how to write it into your blog. It does make a nice constrast with the exuberant Lars, however. I also feel SP tries too hard to make Cilany the most ethical journalist in the world - while there's a chance Feddie journalists ARE like that, it just makes her hard to take seriously from a human perspective. But then again, she is an alien, so it's not exactly unexpected for her to not make perfect sense. Again, I wonder if it's just me, and I'm just reading her uncharitably. The actions of the UN also mystify me, as I really don't think this should be allowed? This is the last time we see Lars, although the likelihood of our other favourite retard popping up again is high. Maybe Virnt and Lars can combine like Voltron into the super mega mecha tard.
Which leads to nothing much, as the story abruptly changes to Cilany going on an adventure with based retard Lars. Uh, surprise. After her recovery, she starts poking around online to discover the 'real' humanity, without the UN restrictions governing their experiences. While some Humanity First goon calls her a gay retard niggerfaggot, other humans dogpile them and tell them to get the fuck out, in a moment eerily similar to the way Glim was thrown out of Callsi's bar. However, nobody told Cilany about stranger danger on the internet, as she's only too happy to start messaging some complete random on a whim! Said random turns out to be Lars, who is harmless, but who knows what sort of sick fuck might be on the other side of that username, Cilany! Have you never seen To Catch a Predator? It gets even more laughable when she agrees to go to Sweden and hang out with him! At least she looked at his social media first.
HOW the UN decided to allow Cilany (a person with a LOT of enemies right now) to go on a jaunt to Sweden to chill with a known loose cannon is a mystery that will never be solved. They do send a couple of guards to keep an eye on her, but still! After the amusing account of her struggles getting through security, Cilany encounters retard Lars in his retard car. Said retard car has to be seen to be believed. However, Lars isn't a complete retard, and tells the lizard that getting into the car of an Internet stranger is a stupid idea. Too late now though, he proceeds to beat her up and eat her- nah, they just drive off so they can partake in lots of fun human activities.
Lars has partially learned his lesson from last time he was showing ayys around - he chooses far less intense activities. He takes her to a theme park, which is ANOTHER violation of alien interaction, and while he tries to get her on a rollercoaster, the UN guards (who, despite Lars's assertions, probably know of his foolish behaviour before, and allowed him to drag Cilany to a restricted location, what the fuck is even happening) stop him from doing so, and he takes her to a ferris wheel instead. Over the course of the next few days, they go to a football (not a handegg) game (SP outs himself as an American, as he can't help but describe the game as monotonous), listen to some heavy metal, eat delicious vegetables, ride a horse, and discuss human television, all while they debate what Cilany should include in her report. Lars might be retarded, but he's probably the best choice for this topic, as he shows a sort of low IQ wisdom that allows him to articulate the duality of man in no uncertain terms, allowing the journalist to write a nice, beefy article, that will no doubt be another influential piece in the world of human-alien relations. She promises to see Lars again, which (along with the waist holding and side-leaning) some see as a ship tease and some don't. It's up to you.
This one's just weird. Cilany isn't really a great narrator because her professional distance results in her coming across as a bit... distant. Even when she says she's cutting loose and living in the present, it doesn't feel that way, because her cadence seems almost mechanical. While she's doing this for her article, the thing never really leaves her mind at any point - you can't say you're cutting loose when you immediately think about how to write it into your blog. It does make a nice constrast with the exuberant Lars, however. I also feel SP tries too hard to make Cilany the most ethical journalist in the world - while there's a chance Feddie journalists ARE like that, it just makes her hard to take seriously from a human perspective. But then again, she is an alien, so it's not exactly unexpected for her to not make perfect sense. Again, I wonder if it's just me, and I'm just reading her uncharitably. The actions of the UN also mystify me, as I really don't think this should be allowed? This is the last time we see Lars, although the likelihood of our other favourite retard popping up again is high. Maybe Virnt and Lars can combine like Voltron into the super mega mecha tard.
It's a loredump. You want ayylium lore? Definitely read this. Don't care about all that? Don't bother, although I question why you're reading bonus chapters to begin with in that case. It doesn't exactly give a deep dive into the anatomy or history of each race - rather, it's an account (from a human perspective) of how each of the listed aliens reacted to their invitations to the summit that resulted in the Sapient Coalition, as well as some Farsul comments on what the original species were like, and what they felt the need to 'cure'. There's not too much to say, but it's quite interesting. My favourite entries are the Thafki and Duerten. Fans of Virnt will also want to see him being a spastic again. I enjoy seeing the ways the Farsul tweaked each species, whether it was drastic (krakotl) or minor (zurulian). This one's short, but it's another one that speaks for itself.
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2019
Can't reply for some reason but it's interesting to hear that Thyon did actually survive the events of NoP. During my first readthrough I think I skimmed over the part where he was on life support and assumed he had just died, but to hear he recovered enough to testify in a court of law is surprising. I'll have to read it myself and see how that went.
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2018
Glim I think is the most intresting side character bar none. I loved all his chapters and its a pitty he only has like 4-5 of them to his name total and no side stories. After 140 it would have been nice if he ascended to the new main perspective for venlil characters to replace slanek. Plus it would have been nice if the anti human voices got a representative for the story to show us more of what the average Venlil thinks.
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2024
I know right? Even Haysi gets her own bonus chapter. But nothing for Glim? It's a damn shame. Still, there's plenty of bonuses to go, and it's confirmed Glim's still alive, so he may well crop up before we know it.
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2022
Have I ever told you the tragedy of the Thafki the space otters? It is not a story the feds would tell you.
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2019
His ass didn't even get invited to the wedding. For a good reason but still. It's hard to blame him for how he acts.
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2018
Having Will show up out of the blue kinda irks me. I mean I love him as a character but it seems like he is just everywhere.
Sp15 really did him dirty after he was gifted that bottle of everclear. Him escaping from the hospital, eavesdropping on those UN guards, Callsi kicking him out of the bar, and him and Noah going to see his elderly mother were all amazing. But it's really all that was written for him. Well aside from him not supporting Tarva in her re-election. But that just felt tacked on.
If anybody needs a side story it's Glim.
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2018
I'm reading the "Becoming a predator" side story and there's a part in it where a krakotl accidentally discovers and subsequently becomes traumatized by furry porn while browsing the human internet when he searched for "Human desire for Venlil flesh" trying to find evidence of cannibalism/bloodlust.
Just felt like sharing because its too funny, I saw the joke coming a mile away and I still laughed.
Rebuffed in my attempts to document the worst Terran impulses, I was back to the drawing board. A lightbulb flashed in my head, punching in, “Human desire for Venlil flesh.” This would be the perfect way to at least find predators discussing those unforgivable feelings, and then figure out what triggered the brutish side of them that I knew was in there. Once I had that information in wing, I might be able to elicit the correct responses from myself. My face lit up in an involuntary happy snarl, showing my teeth reflexively. There was one repulsive instinct to document, but I had bigger fruits to pluck.
There was a disclaimer at the top of the search, stating that safety parameters were being applied to the results. That explained the articles I’d read earlier, which must be fake publications trying to pretend beasts could be nurturers. I laughed at myself, almost falling for such a basic trick due to a few chemicals I couldn’t understand. They were clever beasts, concealing the truth from any prey who got access to their internet, but they had miscalculated thinking we couldn’t disable it. I clicked on the settings icon to remove the filters, then refreshed the page. This would show exactly what intentions humanity really had for the Ven…
“WHAT THE FUCK?!” I screamed, nearly falling out of my chair. I scrambled to close the tab with a mortified expression, though it was too late to unsee the traumatizing images. “That is what they really want from them?! By Inatala, I’m never doing…research again.”
There was a disclaimer at the top of the search, stating that safety parameters were being applied to the results. That explained the articles I’d read earlier, which must be fake publications trying to pretend beasts could be nurturers. I laughed at myself, almost falling for such a basic trick due to a few chemicals I couldn’t understand. They were clever beasts, concealing the truth from any prey who got access to their internet, but they had miscalculated thinking we couldn’t disable it. I clicked on the settings icon to remove the filters, then refreshed the page. This would show exactly what intentions humanity really had for the Ven…
“WHAT THE FUCK?!” I screamed, nearly falling out of my chair. I scrambled to close the tab with a mortified expression, though it was too late to unsee the traumatizing images. “That is what they really want from them?! By Inatala, I’m never doing…research again.”
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2024
Interesting news from SP - Star-Crossed (which is shaping up fairly decently, all things considered) will be 11 pages long, and the next bonus story is going to be an examination of Gress's past as a hostage negotiator. Since he's willing to acknowledge that some of his previous writing hasn't been the best, and he's been working hard to actually address people's complaints about the story (hey look, they bought up the ecological collapse in the main story!), I'm hopeful it'll be a banger. NoP2 has come a long way since its really shit opening chapters, so good on him.
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2018
I think a main issue is that paladin has been apparently writing NoP since he was like 14 years old, started publishing while it was incomplete, the patreonbux started coming in and he was forced to write the story week by week nonstop ever since with no breaks.
You could be the best writer in the history of ever but if you're forced to write on a pulp scedule you'll end producting pulp sooner or later, regardless of other issues that may hinder your writing.
I honestly think SP should just take a break to recollect himself and his ideas to refine them a bit before continuing to write.
He has a lot of good ideas but they need some time in the oven to get filered and polished.
tl;dr It doesn't matter how fit you are, you can only jerk off so many times in a row before you start to spew dust.
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2019
UwU
The Nature of Redditors Part 14
Welcome back once more to yet another part of my The Nature of Predators review. Now I gotta say beforehand that Space Paladin really jumped the shark with these chapters. I won't spoil what happens so let's just jump right into it so you can see for yourself. We move back in with Sovlin for this one, moments after negotiations for the mazic homeworld had begun. Now this is an interesting thing Sovlin notes, the crew on the opposing ship is all Kolshian, and the captain in particular doesn't seem the least bit frightened of humans. It's very out of character for a prey species to be unafraid of predators unless they're hyper aggressive like the Krakotl or backwards like the Yotul. It seems neither side is really sure where to start, they never really wanted to kill the Mazic, they wanted to kill the humans using Mazic as bait, but now they really have to do it, if they intend to scare the humans into surrender. However, the second they do actually threaten bombings, Captain Monahan promises to glass just as many cities on Aafa as they do on the mazic planet. After that, she gives them a counter offer: Surrender and face justice under the geneva conventions, or fight and face justice under sustained weapons fire.
There's a bit of back and forth prattle between the captains, mostly hurling insults until the kolshians lose their nerve and agree, on the condition that only 100 or so ships are actually captured, and the rest are free to flee. The humans agree to it, if only because willing to negotiate might make the feds equally willing to negotiate with leniency in the future should things ever go sour. Samantha scoffs at the idea though, clearly the federation only wants them dead. Onso chimes in that he thinks the feds don't really care about anyone but themselves, and tacks on that during the uplift they "offered" to destroy all the yotul's steamboats and railroads (A source of pride for their society once, if Onso is to be believed, but he's somewhat of an engineering autist, so it's entirely possible he just liked trains, as all autists do.)
Sovlin chastises Onso for caring about relics of the past, but Onso shoots back that the yotul actually liked the things they had built for themselves. Carlos smacks Sovlin on the neck (this, I think, is a minor continuity error, because his neck should be covered in spines and Carlos should have a hand full of them now, but it's such a tiny thing I feel autistic for even noticing it.) and reminds him that the erasure of culture is just as much a form of genocide as rendering a species entirely extinct. Anyways for some reason or another the whole surrender thing is forgotten in favor of allowing all the Kolshians to leave peacefully as long as no mazic are harmed. Actually that might be why, in all honesty, but still. The humans begin to celebrate uproariously, cheering and clapping. Sovlin is used to it by now but the fissan on comms as well as the venlil crew are all very much startled. Onso, on the other hand, is bouncing and yipping right alongside the humans, which Sovlin notes, is because of his "primitive sensibilities".
With that taken care of, Monahan hails the planet's diplomatic channels or whatever. Cupo answers (Hey, he survived the bombing, good on him.), and to her shock he isn't his usual distrusting self. After saving his planet with no casualties, he's instead all weepy and proclaiming that the mazic were wrong and humanity truly are kind souls and that their good deeds will never be forgotten. They can even have their pick of the mazic's abandoned worlds for colony building if they so choose. Now that the fighting is over, Sovlin decides to slink away to talk to Tyler about the whole torturing-his-best-friend thing.
The old gojid begins by apologizing for his behavior when he insulted Tyler earlier, he was just panicking.
Tyler decks him in the fucking schnoz.
While Sovlin is still reeling from the hit, Tyler gets him in a fucking headlock and jams his knee into Sovlin's stomach so hard it knocks the wind out of him.
The punishment finally ends after Tyler chokes him out for a bit, then when he starts to fade into unconsciousness, he yeets the fucking hedgehog into a cabinet and calls him out for beating Marcel like that for nearly a whole week. Sovlin concedes that he deserves it, and he's more or less just been waiting to die, for a very long time now. He admits most of his bravery are failed suicide attempts that happen to not kill him, and Tyler is like "Dude, you should see a fuckin therapist" after suggesting Sovlin may have PTSD and Sovlin being confused by the term. And that's how the chapter ends. A beatdown followed by recommending a therapist. Pretty funny, honestly.
There's a bit of back and forth prattle between the captains, mostly hurling insults until the kolshians lose their nerve and agree, on the condition that only 100 or so ships are actually captured, and the rest are free to flee. The humans agree to it, if only because willing to negotiate might make the feds equally willing to negotiate with leniency in the future should things ever go sour. Samantha scoffs at the idea though, clearly the federation only wants them dead. Onso chimes in that he thinks the feds don't really care about anyone but themselves, and tacks on that during the uplift they "offered" to destroy all the yotul's steamboats and railroads (A source of pride for their society once, if Onso is to be believed, but he's somewhat of an engineering autist, so it's entirely possible he just liked trains, as all autists do.)
Sovlin chastises Onso for caring about relics of the past, but Onso shoots back that the yotul actually liked the things they had built for themselves. Carlos smacks Sovlin on the neck (this, I think, is a minor continuity error, because his neck should be covered in spines and Carlos should have a hand full of them now, but it's such a tiny thing I feel autistic for even noticing it.) and reminds him that the erasure of culture is just as much a form of genocide as rendering a species entirely extinct. Anyways for some reason or another the whole surrender thing is forgotten in favor of allowing all the Kolshians to leave peacefully as long as no mazic are harmed. Actually that might be why, in all honesty, but still. The humans begin to celebrate uproariously, cheering and clapping. Sovlin is used to it by now but the fissan on comms as well as the venlil crew are all very much startled. Onso, on the other hand, is bouncing and yipping right alongside the humans, which Sovlin notes, is because of his "primitive sensibilities".
With that taken care of, Monahan hails the planet's diplomatic channels or whatever. Cupo answers (Hey, he survived the bombing, good on him.), and to her shock he isn't his usual distrusting self. After saving his planet with no casualties, he's instead all weepy and proclaiming that the mazic were wrong and humanity truly are kind souls and that their good deeds will never be forgotten. They can even have their pick of the mazic's abandoned worlds for colony building if they so choose. Now that the fighting is over, Sovlin decides to slink away to talk to Tyler about the whole torturing-his-best-friend thing.
The old gojid begins by apologizing for his behavior when he insulted Tyler earlier, he was just panicking.
Tyler decks him in the fucking schnoz.
While Sovlin is still reeling from the hit, Tyler gets him in a fucking headlock and jams his knee into Sovlin's stomach so hard it knocks the wind out of him.
The punishment finally ends after Tyler chokes him out for a bit, then when he starts to fade into unconsciousness, he yeets the fucking hedgehog into a cabinet and calls him out for beating Marcel like that for nearly a whole week. Sovlin concedes that he deserves it, and he's more or less just been waiting to die, for a very long time now. He admits most of his bravery are failed suicide attempts that happen to not kill him, and Tyler is like "Dude, you should see a fuckin therapist" after suggesting Sovlin may have PTSD and Sovlin being confused by the term. And that's how the chapter ends. A beatdown followed by recommending a therapist. Pretty funny, honestly.
Back to Slanek and co, they're currently moving in on a group of extermination officers who have taken a small town hostage. With civilians in the AO, bombing is out of the question. Unfortunately for Slanek, they've brought a military canine unit along with them, and despite his best efforts he's still not over how terrifying they are. He catches its soulless eyes staring him down and the venlil nearly faints. I guess he isn't completely over his fear just yet. Still, he tries to get over his fear by slowly approaching the dog in order to try to pet it. After a whole lot of colorful adjectives depicting the dog as malicious if not outright villainous, Slanek's paw finally makes contact with the dog, making it bark quietly and scaring the shit out of him.
Of course, despite what Slanek thinks, the dog grabs a stick from nearby and drops it at his feet to try to get him to play fetch. Not super important but the dog's name is Dino and Marcel calls it a pupper. Marcel can burn in hell. Once they're done dicking around with Dino, Slanek finds several of his fellow soldiers smiling at him because it was adorable, apparently. He tries his best to mimic a smile back which gets several of the men present to crack up at the awkward sight. It's nice to get the occasional moment of levity between the really tense moments, and we're about to get some really tense moments.
They make their way out to the town's extermination office, where the hostiles are currently holed up, more or less. The dog sniffs out some primitive powder bombs and they take care of those before moving forward. As they deploy surveillance drones to scope the area out a trio of tilfish exterminators come out and open fire. Slanek focuses, squeezes the trigger, and blows the brains out of one of the insectoid aliens' carapaces. Two men get shot in the exchange but the trio go down before any serious injuries are sustained (At least I think so, SP doesn't go into detail about how bad they're hit, so I assume it went off the armor.)
Slanek laments briefly on the fact that he just killed a man for the first time (Apparently he didn't do a whole lot of shooting on the cradle, but to be fair he spent most of that time drugged and cowering didn't he.) Marcel reassures him that it's normal to be affected by killing someone, and that he will feel like he's changed, because he has changed. I'm not quite sure what that's supposed to mean, but hey, at least he's trying. They start making their way through the office and stop to briefly admire the tasteful anti human propaganda, a poster of a tweeked out human with accurately drawn forks towering over a plate with a krakotl. Slanek can't help but admire the accuracy with which they drew the silverware. There's a few others, gojids in a pen cowering under a human hand, humans dropping on the cradle with the text "coming to a city near YOU", etc.
And then Marcel ends the chapter with a your mom joke. I wish I was joking, but Slanek pokes fun at Marcel for looking like the man in the first poster and he retorts "it looks more like your mother."
Of course, despite what Slanek thinks, the dog grabs a stick from nearby and drops it at his feet to try to get him to play fetch. Not super important but the dog's name is Dino and Marcel calls it a pupper. Marcel can burn in hell. Once they're done dicking around with Dino, Slanek finds several of his fellow soldiers smiling at him because it was adorable, apparently. He tries his best to mimic a smile back which gets several of the men present to crack up at the awkward sight. It's nice to get the occasional moment of levity between the really tense moments, and we're about to get some really tense moments.
They make their way out to the town's extermination office, where the hostiles are currently holed up, more or less. The dog sniffs out some primitive powder bombs and they take care of those before moving forward. As they deploy surveillance drones to scope the area out a trio of tilfish exterminators come out and open fire. Slanek focuses, squeezes the trigger, and blows the brains out of one of the insectoid aliens' carapaces. Two men get shot in the exchange but the trio go down before any serious injuries are sustained (At least I think so, SP doesn't go into detail about how bad they're hit, so I assume it went off the armor.)
Slanek laments briefly on the fact that he just killed a man for the first time (Apparently he didn't do a whole lot of shooting on the cradle, but to be fair he spent most of that time drugged and cowering didn't he.) Marcel reassures him that it's normal to be affected by killing someone, and that he will feel like he's changed, because he has changed. I'm not quite sure what that's supposed to mean, but hey, at least he's trying. They start making their way through the office and stop to briefly admire the tasteful anti human propaganda, a poster of a tweeked out human with accurately drawn forks towering over a plate with a krakotl. Slanek can't help but admire the accuracy with which they drew the silverware. There's a few others, gojids in a pen cowering under a human hand, humans dropping on the cradle with the text "coming to a city near YOU", etc.
And then Marcel ends the chapter with a your mom joke. I wish I was joking, but Slanek pokes fun at Marcel for looking like the man in the first poster and he retorts "it looks more like your mother."
The sweep of the offices continues. Two tilfish fake surrender, claiming to be IT workers, but Slanek spots a gun on them and lunges towards them. He takes one to the ground while the other gets gunned down in the confusion. Marcel asks why the fuck he didn't just shoot them, and Slanek honestly doesn't know. When his instincts start telling him it is time to panic, Slanek simply thinks about how these tilfish DESERVED to die, how the exterminators had been the biggest group to advocate for the extermination of humanity. That just can't stand for the little soldier speep.
Life signatures indicate that they're all holed up on the top floor, potentially with hostages. The roof seems to be booby trapped as well, so the only way to get at them is to charge through the chokepoint they have set up. Marcel drops one of the tilfish exterminators on the way up the stairs and Slanek and the rest of the squad follow suit, charging up after them. Two more humans go down in the charge, one of whom is almost certainly dead, but the stairs up are clear now. They head into a breakroom and take cover as a few more insectoids start firing down at them. When the windows shatter, Slanek can't help but wish he had shoes on like the humans did. It really is weird that they don't wear clothes, actually, and I'm not a fan of how it's literally never addressed beyond "oh we have fur it seems a bit redundant doesn't it".
A few more humans go down but some strong throwing arms and a handful of grenades send the bugs reeling long enough for the humans (and Slanek) to mop them up. The next room they find themselves in is the biohazardous room where prey remains are kept, and it reeks of gasoline. A favorite tactic of the exterminators, as you're aware by now. Seems they intended to go out in a blaze of glory, taking out the humans with them. Marcel simply lights the gasoline and closes the door. Humans surround the exits of the room, ready to gun down any bug evacuating that isn't surrendering. Slanek can only think about how much Dino's continued presence is pissing him off as the tilfish burn in the next room over.
Life signatures indicate that they're all holed up on the top floor, potentially with hostages. The roof seems to be booby trapped as well, so the only way to get at them is to charge through the chokepoint they have set up. Marcel drops one of the tilfish exterminators on the way up the stairs and Slanek and the rest of the squad follow suit, charging up after them. Two more humans go down in the charge, one of whom is almost certainly dead, but the stairs up are clear now. They head into a breakroom and take cover as a few more insectoids start firing down at them. When the windows shatter, Slanek can't help but wish he had shoes on like the humans did. It really is weird that they don't wear clothes, actually, and I'm not a fan of how it's literally never addressed beyond "oh we have fur it seems a bit redundant doesn't it".
A few more humans go down but some strong throwing arms and a handful of grenades send the bugs reeling long enough for the humans (and Slanek) to mop them up. The next room they find themselves in is the biohazardous room where prey remains are kept, and it reeks of gasoline. A favorite tactic of the exterminators, as you're aware by now. Seems they intended to go out in a blaze of glory, taking out the humans with them. Marcel simply lights the gasoline and closes the door. Humans surround the exits of the room, ready to gun down any bug evacuating that isn't surrendering. Slanek can only think about how much Dino's continued presence is pissing him off as the tilfish burn in the next room over.
So we get a new perspective in this part and I gotta say I don't know what the fuck Space Paladin was thinking when he wrote this shit, easily the worst part of the entire series in my opinion and I don't know why no one ever talks about it. This guy is in like these two chapters and unless I'm misremembering is never mentioned ever again. Anyways, meet Tekeu, a tilfish civilian who fled from Silis sometime after humanity began their vassalization of the planet to bunk with humans until the rioting stops.
Tekeu finds himself at the home of Bernardo, a human with wealthy parents who wanted the prestige of hosting an exotic refugee (fuckin racist but whatever lul). They've actually been living together for a few weeks now, and Bernardo, the useless piece of shit stoner he is, has decided now is the time to offer the skittish insect some of his weed. Apparently he asked the UN if that's fine and they were like "yeah don't worry it's harmless." (?????). They lie in the grass a while and stare at the sun as the high hits them. On the bright side, the weed has relaxed Tekeu enough to relax and finally have a little heart to heart with his human roomie.
Apparently Tekeu isn't on speaking terms with his parents, on account of being gay. Space Paladin had managed to leave all the weird lgbt stuff out of his story until now, I don't know why he felt the need to change the pacing of the story and create a whole character who's thing is that he's gay but it really fuckin pisses me off. I'd take a whole Nulia chapter over this shit. I guess redditors can't resist the urge to shove gays into everything. Oh well. They continue talking a while, about Silis and how he misses his home planet, though he'd rather not dwell on it right now. He just wants to live in the moment maaaan.
Bernardo shuts his eyes for a moment just to find Tekeu looming over him when he opens them. Tekeu has a confession, he wants to stay on Earth and be with Bernardo. We are literally just meeting these characters and they're already trying to push a romance plot into this shit. I'm starting to see why Space Paladin stopped mentioning them after like 2 fuckin chapters. Bernardo's blushing and he's all like "nah man you should go to venlil prime instead, way better for you there maaaan." Eventually Bernardo gets the message though, when Tekeu sort of drapes himself over the doped up stoner.
Now this, my friends, is where it starts going to shit. You thought all that was bad? Nah that ain't shit. Tekeu is making fuckin pheromones and now they're both getting horny. Yeah, you heard me right. Horny. Tekeu asks Bernardo to touch him and this shit starts getting gayer at an exponential rate, until Bernardo seemingly comes to his senses and asks what the fuck's going on. Tekeu starts to freak out before Bernardo clarifies that he "has a huge, horrible, PAINFUL boner"
I'm fucking dying, please forgive me, but this would be painful to read through if it weren't so horrifyingly, bafflingly funny. Anyways, Tekeu looks down at Bernardo's crotch and finds he's got a HUMONGOUS BULGE. "This is a predator's cock" he thinks as he feels up the human. I think I'm gonna be sick. Tekeu is like "but a bug and a human can never fall in love, you must think I'm ugly" and Bernardo is like "no you gay little ant spider, you are beautiful."
And then they fuckin kiss.
Tekeu finds himself at the home of Bernardo, a human with wealthy parents who wanted the prestige of hosting an exotic refugee (fuckin racist but whatever lul). They've actually been living together for a few weeks now, and Bernardo, the useless piece of shit stoner he is, has decided now is the time to offer the skittish insect some of his weed. Apparently he asked the UN if that's fine and they were like "yeah don't worry it's harmless." (?????). They lie in the grass a while and stare at the sun as the high hits them. On the bright side, the weed has relaxed Tekeu enough to relax and finally have a little heart to heart with his human roomie.
Apparently Tekeu isn't on speaking terms with his parents, on account of being gay. Space Paladin had managed to leave all the weird lgbt stuff out of his story until now, I don't know why he felt the need to change the pacing of the story and create a whole character who's thing is that he's gay but it really fuckin pisses me off. I'd take a whole Nulia chapter over this shit. I guess redditors can't resist the urge to shove gays into everything. Oh well. They continue talking a while, about Silis and how he misses his home planet, though he'd rather not dwell on it right now. He just wants to live in the moment maaaan.
Bernardo shuts his eyes for a moment just to find Tekeu looming over him when he opens them. Tekeu has a confession, he wants to stay on Earth and be with Bernardo. We are literally just meeting these characters and they're already trying to push a romance plot into this shit. I'm starting to see why Space Paladin stopped mentioning them after like 2 fuckin chapters. Bernardo's blushing and he's all like "nah man you should go to venlil prime instead, way better for you there maaaan." Eventually Bernardo gets the message though, when Tekeu sort of drapes himself over the doped up stoner.
Now this, my friends, is where it starts going to shit. You thought all that was bad? Nah that ain't shit. Tekeu is making fuckin pheromones and now they're both getting horny. Yeah, you heard me right. Horny. Tekeu asks Bernardo to touch him and this shit starts getting gayer at an exponential rate, until Bernardo seemingly comes to his senses and asks what the fuck's going on. Tekeu starts to freak out before Bernardo clarifies that he "has a huge, horrible, PAINFUL boner"
I'm fucking dying, please forgive me, but this would be painful to read through if it weren't so horrifyingly, bafflingly funny. Anyways, Tekeu looks down at Bernardo's crotch and finds he's got a HUMONGOUS BULGE. "This is a predator's cock" he thinks as he feels up the human. I think I'm gonna be sick. Tekeu is like "but a bug and a human can never fall in love, you must think I'm ugly" and Bernardo is like "no you gay little ant spider, you are beautiful."
And then they fuckin kiss.
The two of them are making out now, described in graphic detail that I will spare you. Tekeu starts wondering if he has a severe case of predator's disease as they get their graphic tongue-twisting smooch on.
This uh, continues for a while. A lot of descriptions of how warm, sloppy, and deep it is. Some tongue on throat action. I wish I could unread this. What the fuck is wrong with redditors. We were literally just gunning these fucking bugs down two chapters ago and now we are getting intimately familiar with their mandibles. With the 14 paragraph long makeout session out of the way Tekeu decides he wants more, reaching for Bernardo's pants and...
With his little buddy freed from his textile prison they make their way towards the bedroom. Oh God Almighty there's a sentence dedicated to describing Tekeu's dick. I don't want to do this review anymore. Bernardo fuckin jacks off the bug dick and, holy fuck Space Paladin my man what were you thinking.
Tekeu starts insisting that he simply MUST make Bernardo jizz NOW or he's going to permanently ruin the whole house with pheromones, as if this shit wasn't fetishistic enough. And he knows just how to do it, of course, because he's done it to a gojid before. He's going to suck Bernie off. Mr. Sanders is a bit put off at the prospect of putting his little soldier anywhere near those mandibles but alas, the show must go on. Space Paladin clearly has an oral fixation as he goes on to describe in graphic detail the intricacies of a bug giving a human man some sloppy fucking toppy.
It just goes on and on and on, this chapter has more paragraphs dedicated to how vigorously Bernardo jams his ramrod down Tekeu's oral musket than several space battles combined. God motherfuckin damn. I tried to count how many there were and lost count around 50, and it culminates in what SP describes as a fucking minute long orgasm (holy SHIT dude you need to see a doctor that is NOT NORMAL). Anyways, they declare their love for one another, Tekeu hopes the UN will not get mad over this thing they have done (WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY KNOW ABOUT IT) and these two characters are, THANKFULLY, never mentioned again.
This uh, continues for a while. A lot of descriptions of how warm, sloppy, and deep it is. Some tongue on throat action. I wish I could unread this. What the fuck is wrong with redditors. We were literally just gunning these fucking bugs down two chapters ago and now we are getting intimately familiar with their mandibles. With the 14 paragraph long makeout session out of the way Tekeu decides he wants more, reaching for Bernardo's pants and...
With his little buddy freed from his textile prison they make their way towards the bedroom. Oh God Almighty there's a sentence dedicated to describing Tekeu's dick. I don't want to do this review anymore. Bernardo fuckin jacks off the bug dick and, holy fuck Space Paladin my man what were you thinking.
It just goes on and on and on, this chapter has more paragraphs dedicated to how vigorously Bernardo jams his ramrod down Tekeu's oral musket than several space battles combined. God motherfuckin damn. I tried to count how many there were and lost count around 50, and it culminates in what SP describes as a fucking minute long orgasm (holy SHIT dude you need to see a doctor that is NOT NORMAL). Anyways, they declare their love for one another, Tekeu hopes the UN will not get mad over this thing they have done (WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY KNOW ABOUT IT) and these two characters are, THANKFULLY, never mentioned again.
younevershould
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 30, 2023
i guess thats just the nature of redditors