How do men make friends as adults?

[10 Little Niggers]

Online video games were a good source for me, mostly military arcade/ simulators such as World of Tanks and Warthunder. It helps if you are fairly good at the game and generally helpful.

The player base is not as riddled with retarded teens and brainrot as in other games, quite the opposite. I met adults who have life figured out, work(ed) in various fields, aren’t broke and contribute to society. Bond over hobbies, pets, what happened during the week.

Not a fan of making friends at work. It’s usually fuel for bullshit situations (many first hand examples on request).

Some people (mostly women) cannot fathom friendship without communicating daily and monitoring the response time of their asinine "hey, how are yous". As a man it’s really much easier, skip all the obsessive threat identification and relationship politics and you will be a likable person.

 

[Spruce Supremacist]

Online it's fairly easy: interactive online chatrooms and video game lobbies do the trick quite well.
Offline? No damn clue - making new friends has become nigh impossible ever since finishing high-school and getting a blue-collar job a decade or so ago.

 

[User 167558]

As people mentioned previously, for men especially online gaming or just online communties make it incredibly easy to make friends, even places like reddit for example. Which makes sense, because if you wanted to make friends the traditional way you would normally find a hobby or meet someone with similar interests/lifestyles.

Personally I've made and met a ton of people from common games we play, mostly strategy/military. I even met a guy from minecraft, that wasn't a wise decision.

 

[Afinepickle]

Depends on the subculture to be honest, men make friends just like women do but the actual mechanicms of how we go about it vary a whole lot more.

 

[bliblblblbbllb]

If you're someone who struggles to turn aquaintances into friends, try figuring out what matters the most in their daily lives, and 1) ask earnest questions about it and 2) see if there's any way it relates to your life. Usually this means their family or living situation, or their job.

For example, it's extremely common to have divorced parents or to have lost a parent. A question like "Were you and your dad close?" after someone mentions their family has opened up a lot of 'deeper' conversations for me. So has asking about their work history.

Don't expect people to say a lot at first.
But taking an interest in someone's life circumstances is how I've ended up invited to a good number of dinners and "let's go hang out."

Also be very careful to not show any distain. Very often, people are hesitant to reveal themselves because their lives kinda suck. They live with their parents or grandparents, they're broke as shit, they have a bad job, they have a history of abuse, etc. If you are networking or a politician, feel free to be judgy. If you just want a buddy to hang out with and be warm-blooded company who understands you.... you gotta be understanding. Everyone has some sort of shit going on.

 

[Rekeita's Kidneys]

You don't.

 

[BLACKHAWK_Entropy]

You don't.

the only answer and its teen.

I've read most of the answers in this none help me in any way

 

[BLACKHAWK_Entropy]

I've read most of the answers in this and thread and none give me anything.

 

[56 others]

I've read most of the answers in this and thread and none give me anything.

If you transition you can befriend other guys that gave up

 

[BLACKHAWK_Entropy]

If you transition you can befriend other guys that gave up

why? there is nothing useful.

 

[Mad At The Intranet]

I've made a lot of friends through just chatting with random people in supermarkets. This will only work if you live in a rural/small community where youre bound to see the same people a lot.

 

[Anti Snigger]

There's a guy who works in the building I do, we never talk, we just occasionally bump into each other when getting coffee and we nod at each other.
He's my best friend, I'd kill a nigga for him

 

[eatler]

I made friends on the kiwi farms

 

[Rekeita's Kidneys]

I've made a lot of friends through just chatting with random people in supermarkets. This will only work if you live in a rural/small community where youre bound to see the same people a lot.

I'm beginning to think a lot of loneliness comes from living in big shitty metro areas. Humans shouldn't live in cities.

 

[Bassomatic]

the only answer and its teen.

I've read most of the answers in this none help me in any way

Let me guess, you're shit posting or you didn't try anything?

I am far from a softy but the idea of the lonely circle is real. Me being awesome and wired wrong despite being a grumpy hermit have never been lonely. Even when I isolate for what ever I don't feel need for people. But this isn't about me.

People who are lonely, keep being so, social skills slip and they become a chore for people to be around, instead of having that skill kick back on they just become leeches and people ditch them. Making said person more lonely and needy. I do really think it's real. I've bumped into those people.

If you're shit posting more power, but if you're not go do stuff don't stress. After a few games of checkers, or a couple of beers don't think don't act like it's a big deal be like yo homie take my #. Then be done.

You'll have a friend.

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

conceal all feelings
never open up
die from alcoholism

be a man

 

[Wot Zit Too Yah0996]

Hey, I like your tie.

Thanks.

 

[BLACKHAWK_Entropy]

Let me guess, you're shit posting or you didn't try anything?

I am far from a softy but the idea of the lonely circle is real. Me being awesome and wired wrong despite being a grumpy hermit have never been lonely. Even when I isolate for what ever I don't feel need for people. But this isn't about me.

People who are lonely, keep being so, social skills slip and they become a chore for people to be around, instead of having that skill kick back on they just become leeches and people ditch them. Making said person more lonely and needy. I do really think it's real. I've bumped into those people.

If you're shit posting more power, but if you're not go do stuff don't stress. After a few games of checkers, or a couple of beers don't think don't act like it's a big deal be like yo homie take my #. Then be done.

You'll have a friend.

It's simpler. I am just not with the person I want to be with. I have had friends and yes we talked but these friends are limited to my genuine passion. "Why dont you play that heckin' soy wars 5? it's so heckin' good!" "what you never watched Avengers 6? why noheckirino?" I don't talk in the gym hall. Maybe I can express how exhausted I am afterwards. I don't like arguing about "vartiations of exercise" or some efficient nonsense. I don't enjoy conversation. I can't really find many of common measure with people.

 

[Pierre D'Olnique]

conceal all feelings
never open up
die from alcoholism

be a man
View attachment 5861903

Literally me, just replace booze with lifting heavy rocks. One time investment and it doesn't destroy your liver.

 

[Cemetery Support]

why? there is nothing useful.

Theyre gonna find your corpse in your home curled up like a rolly poly when you finally die after a short bitter life of sucking your own dick. If this isn’t bait.

The trick to making friends is to keep showing up to places. Go to venues, bars, bowling alleys, discords, irc chats, whatever. But wherever you go, keep going there and keep talking to people. Become a regular somewhere and you’ll eventually meet another regular. There are also adult fraternities, I’ve heard, which can’t be a bad way. Friends of your family and friends of what friends you do have is always a good way to meet more people.