I fully understand, and I know I'm a generally unlikeable person. I just felt I needed to reg in order to set the record straight about a few things.
Firstly, I believe Lowtax follows this thread and I have tried several outlets to apologize to him and his family these last few months but I don't think any have gotten through. For what it's worth, I am sorry and was obviously in the wrong. I suffer from Bipolar and Schizoaffective disorder and psychotic episodes are an unavoidable part of my life. I've had quite a few over the years that have gotten me kicked out of schools, jobs, etc. Basically my mind just starts racing and I become very paranoid and develop strange ideas for a few months and afterwords I have little to no recollection of them. It's caused my memory to deteriorate and large chunks of my life are missing from my memory.
That being said, I wish to illuminate you on the situation that happened in Spokane. Shmorky and I were looking to move to a better area to facilitate his career after he was laid off from SA. Something which I was desperate to have happen because I was supporting him 100% and getting tired of him being jobless. The $5-600 of Patreon money he brought in was not paying the bills. I was supporting him through my disability checks (Again, I am on disability because it's very difficult for me to maintain employment due to my memory and cognitive issues) but I had a job waitressing/doing deliveries for a local restaurant. I lost that job and had to go back to making erotic hypnosis videos and doing hypnosis sessions, something I don't like doing because it messes with my schizoaffective disorder and makes me very manic. I wind up having a manic episode whenever I get involved in that stuff but had no choice because I didn't want Shmorky and I to be homeless.
Fast forward a few months we finally got to Spokane and Shmorky was given a job doing Adult Swim bumpers by his friend KC Greene. This was only a temporary job but paid $7,000 so was still good enough money and I thought it would be a good first step for him. So things were good for a while. But, then what we would call a series of unfortunate events happened to me. I lost a very, very close friend to suicide and it really fucked me up. Shortly after, my grandmother, who I was close to passed away. I was pretty sad, but I expected it, she was 89. Then I went to visit my parents in December and received word that yet another one of my close friends had taken their own life. A day later my dog died. I shit you not. I just lost it. I began hallucinating and became very manic and this is where my thought process just gets to a point where it goes in such a direction that I can't even recall what I did or what I was thinking. When I got back to Spokane I was low on medication. Now, it was my fault for not researching Spokane much but Shmorky INSISTED we move there. I tried to push for somewhere around the Seattle area but he said it would be Spokane or nothing. Shmorky was a very demanding and stubborn man.
When we moved to Spokane I was immediately creeped out by the atmosphere, and I grew up in New Jersey so that takes A LOT. Apparently Spokane has a huge drug problem, which is obvious by the look of the place but when I went to the psychiatrists office to make an appointment for more medication they refused me an appointment telling me they were "not open to having services with me." I tell them "you don't understand, I need my medication." and she told me to try the local hospital. So I went to the local hospital and explain the situation to them and they take me to a room and tell me to strip. I'm like "excuse me" and they tell me I'm being admitted for 72 hours because I came in "looking for pills." I go full Jersey and I say "yeah, I'm looking for pills I need my fucking medication." I'm NOT, I repeat, am NOT a violent person but I can be a very loud and vulgar one. I freak out and they tie me to a bed and shoot me up with a bunch of shots, I don't know what it was but I was knocked out instantly and the next thing I remember I was being driven home in a cab with a week's worth of my prescription meds. Needless to say, they only lasted...a week. So I was medless very shortly. I was afraid to seek any help for a repeat episode of what happened and just stayed off my meds.
I don't remember what even triggered my thoughts about Lowtax. I really don't. I remember hearing Jesus talk to me and telling me I had to go to Cambodia, into the Angkor Wat temple and find something that was buried there so I could stop the Annunaki. I am part Japanese and part Khmer so I was told by Jesus that I had to claim my birthright at the Angkor Wat. I was hallucinating and seeing Greys, Shadow people, demonic faces and all matter of terrifying things around my apartment. I did not want to stay there! I assure you I DID NOT HURT SHMORKY IN ANY WAY!! I am not a violent person. The most violent thing I've ever done was slap a kid at summer camp when I was 7 for cutting me in line at the water fountain and I still feel bad about it to this day. Shmorky was very often horrible to me. I told him very clearly that I was leaving to go to Cambodia. I literally had my stuff packed and was ordering my ticket and he physically ripped my laptop out of my hands and threw it across the room. He would often do this when he felt I was "spreading rumors about him". All I wanted to do was go to Cambodia. I told him to stop throwing my laptop around and he called the cops on me, who dragged me away to be locked up for a month. I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS LEAVING. I did not try to make Shmorky stay. I wanted nothing to do with him after he betrayed me by recording me and mocking me on Twitter. I was like 'welp, we're done, I'm going to Cambodia, do whatever you want with your life.' He wouldn't leave. He wouldn't let me leave. He was the one who screamed at me when he saw I had my passport out. No, I never abused him. He was the one who would steal money from me. He would take my debit card out of my wallet while I was sleeping and go shopping. He was the one who screamed at me all the time when I left a single spot of dirt on a dish when I washed it or didn't feel like driving him somewhere or GOD FORBID USING THE WRONG PRONOUN WITH HIM.
