Balatro is banned at my house - Feeding my gambling addiction

[George Lucas]

> Visit friend’s house
> Sees him have this on pause in the background
> ‘Hey you got a new game?’
> Six hours later
> ‘I’m not gonna buy that game. It eats up too much time. I have many important things to do. Taxes are due on April 15th.’

> Next weekend, bored, alone
> Gives in despite full price on Steam
> 8 hours later
> ‘Just one more game’
> Still doesn’t win a single game
> Goes to bed in shame at like 4 am

> Next morning
> Gets some shit done, feel accomplished
> ‘I’ll try again, just for a little bit.’
> Gets Card Sharp Joker, makes soyface
> Actually wins somehow

This is only the beginning. I don’t know what the fuck a ‘deckbuilder’ is supposed to be but I haven’t had this much fun with a puzzle game since that Pokémon puzzle game on N64.

https://store.steampowered.com/app/2379780/Balatro/

If you do decide to play, I suggest not looking up anything online. It’s a lot more fun trying to figure out strategies and finding out what new cards can do on your own (or with a friend).

 

[Buttigieg2020]

Don’t play “Slay the Spire” then.

 

[David Brown]

Balatro really rocks

 

[Gender: Xenomorph]

Don’t play “Slay the Spire” then.

Slay theSpire kinda sucks tho.

And not as rewarding

 

[Grub]

That game looks like pure digital crack.

 

[McMitch]

So I’ve seen the patch notes for the next update. Do people really consider Straights underpowered? They’re the most consistent engine in the game.

 

[George Lucas]

So I’ve seen the patch notes for the next update. Do people really consider Straights underpowered? They’re the most consistent engine in the game.

They aren’t as intuitive as building up two pair into a full house / 4 of a kind build, and not as satisfyingly degenerate as becoming a flushslave, so I get that. Every time I started getting on a roll with straights I just couldn’t get them strong enough, and getting to consistent straight flushes is a big leap.

 

[ducktales4gameboy]

Oh hey, a balatro thread. I got my gold stake win with green deck a few days ago. Good game but the last couple stakes are just pain.

Straights are decently powered early on but later stakes you have a -1 to hand size which sucks for them. Two pair is the strongest hand imo, especially if you get Spare Trousers early. Full house can be good too but like straights the handsize penalty really hurts.

Protips : One of the best card unlocks in the game comes from discarding a royal flush. Do it as soon as you have the chance, easy to rig it with checkered deck.

Also there's a hidden mechanic with the banana. Let it expire on its own if at all possible, if it poofs on its own it puts a super banana that gives 3x mult into the draw pool.

 

[Skitarii]

Balatro really rocks

18 naked farmers playing Balatro at MATI ranch

 

[TheMonkeyMan]

"Gros Michel" is a reference to a once-dominant strain of banana that declined due to a disease, and Cavendish is the most popular strain of banana today.

 

[Tablet County]

Balatro really rocks

Gamers love big hard throbbing children's card games

 

[McMitch]

They aren’t as intuitive as building up two pair into a full house / 4 of a kind build, and not as satisfyingly degenerate as becoming a flushslave, so I get that. Every time I started getting on a roll with straights I just couldn’t get them strong enough, and getting to consistent straight flushes is a big leap.

I have never been able to get full houses consistent enough to offset how quickly two pair drops off. By the time I get pants, I’ve already had four fingers and square joker and maybe shortcut for four antes or so.

 

[Twinkletard]

balatro is the only thing that keeps me going

 

[gagabobo1997]

love balatro
simple as

edit: also who playin on the new patch?

 

[Action Orange]

I am terrified of trying balatro. It looks like one of those "perfect games" that will just fuck up my already shaky productivity. It would probably be like when I learned to t-spin in tetris, except multiplied by an order of magnitude.

I watched some bald dickhead play it on youtube, and was enthralled despite hating that guy's normie guts, so I need to steer clear of the let's plays, even.

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

I'll be honest, learning how to alter my deck to improve the odds of drawing winning hands early on was a new experience for me. Right now I'm trying to win a set with the Green Deck, while not playing any Straights to unlock The Order.

 

[Averagest Redditor]

I watched some bald dickhead play it on youtube, and was enthralled despite hating that guy's normie guts, so I need to steer clear of the let's plays, even.

I used to kinda like NorthernLion, or at least some of his stuff, and had a lot of fun watching him play through Fallout: New Vegas. Now I can barely tolerate the guy. I don't know what changed, really. But his stupid anecdotes and interactions with chat makes me MATI.

Anyway, Balatro is a fun addiction. Must. Unlock. Everything.

 

[I'm Retarded?]

the soundtrack is all just variations on one track and I love it so much

 

[Rungle]

A soon as there is better mod support for the game im replacing all sound effects with bossman jack

 

[Action Orange]

I used to kinda like NorthernLion, or at least some of his stuff, and had a lot of fun watching him play through Fallout: New Vegas. Now I can barely tolerate the guy. I don't know what changed, really. But his stupid anecdotes and interactions with chat makes me MATI.

Anyway, Balatro is a fun addiction. Must. Unlock. Everything.

In the video I saw he launched into a brief but extremely self righteous tangent about vaccinations and kept bragging about riding a fucking peloton. Dude is a huge faggot.

On a more positive note the balatro gameplay did look satisfying af. I was tempted to buy it right then