Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

[Zemblan Physics]

 

[Allo Vera]

Joe looks like Marilyn Manson in that shot. And I mean current MM, not peak of fame MM.

Also… Lily being a pooner was unexpected.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

A really strange feature. It looks like a set-up by the subjects for something, most likely Joe and Lily ditching Mallory. Can't see the relationship lasting long as it has with the baby. NY Mag's commenters are not impressed by the piece.

Spoiler: Long

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Good to see the majority of NYMag finds them as insufferable, try hard and cringe as we do.

It seems most people commenting had fond memories of Mallory’s Toast era writing and are just sad for her now. Joe has really made her debase herself in every way possible. Now she’s even posing with his concubine on a mag cover (because there was no magazine cover or article without Mallory’s involvement, she’s the marginally famous writer living with an uggo professor and his broodmare).

I wonder if Mallory ever had a spine or if she’s always been this willing submissive female and an idiot that totally falls for old PUA negging techniques.

Bets on how long this shitshow lasts now that the baby is now home in a two bed, one bath 4th floor walk-up with these three clowns?

I’ll give it 12-18 months. Just because they know everyone predicts it’s failure they will tough it out a bit longer out of sheer stubbornness. I can’t tell if it will be a break-up that’s kept quiet, where everything is still presented as fine on SM, but either Mal or Lilly move out, or if there will be a bit of a dramatic exit and drama. I could see Joe and Lilly managing to keep Mal silent so she doesn’t contribute to negative public perceptions of trans polycule parenting.

Most likely Mal will just do what Joe tells her to do. She’s been in the backseat and told to keep quiet for years. I don’t see that changing any time soon.

 

[Mayhem]

What an insipid article. Whose dick got sucked in order to get this drivel published? Even the commenters hate it. Two of these people are professors at major public universities, and this article is inviting even more derision for academia and academics by portraying them as bizarre, elitist freaks. Lily is a highly educated, grown woman openly discussing masturbating to fanfiction - and not at all mentioning her former partner and the home they bought together. Worst of all, the majority of the commenters know this entire situation is going to blow up, and they don’t even read Kiwi Farms.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

What an inspid article. Whose dick got sucked in order to get this drivel published? Even the commenters hate it. Two of these people are professors at major public universities, and this article is inviting even more derision for academia and academics by portraying them as bizarre, elitist freaks. Lily is a highly educated, grown woman openly discussing masturbating to fanfiction - and not at all mentioning her former partner and the home they bought together. Worst of all, the majority of the commenters know this entire situation is going to blow up, and they don’t even read Kiwi Farms.

The commenters all recognize the ridiculous level immaturity and absurdity present in all three of these supposed adults. There is nothing but boredom, attention seeking and narcissism behind their trans-breeding project. A project everyone can see they are obviously very unprepared for past the novelty and “gay baby” cringe.

I honestly think Rocco was mostly a product of Lilly being jealous of the marriage between Joe and Mal. A baby gives her higher status with Joe. She probably hoped Mal would nope out but she has stubbornly stayed put.

We can all just stare in wonder at the poor nearly middle aged pooners competing for a sad sack like Joe, but pooners are a pathetic bunch.

 

[Bookwork]

My watch has stopped. How many seconds of jizzing did Joe need to manage to get alleged media outlets to coo over him?

I am sending this to Ripley's once documented.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

My watch has stopped. How many seconds of jizzing did Joe need to manage to get alleged media outlets to coo over him?

I am sending this to Ripley's once documented.

Mallory has been the stooge that has enabled Joe to get every tiny morsel of media coverage he’s ever received. Destroying her family, trooning out with her, marrying her and now having her pretend she’s playing some daddy role to a baby he had with his girlfriend.

There is no media interest in Joe until he inserts Mallory into the equation.

 

[Savoie]

I remember one of the early Mallory Prudie letters was from a woman who wrote in saying that their kid's eight year old friend had shit their pants and left them sitting on the coffee table with the turd on display for all to see. She wanted to know what the fuck to say to the kid's mom, and Mallory wrote that she couldn't give a very precise answer because she wasn't sure if that was developmentally normal for an eight year old or not.

Rocco is fucked.

 

[Potatis Salad]

Joe apparently tried to keep Rocco's surname a secret ("Wolverine" was the proposed portmanteau of "Lavery" and "Woodruff").


Mallory reveals that they chose a hyphenated surname. Think it's Rochbert Joseph Ozymandias Lavery-Woodruff or Rochbert Joseph Ozymandias Woodruff-Lavery? Both of them equally mellifluous if you ask me.


This narc is so fucking grotesque and embarrassing, but a photo caption that is actually about Rocco and not about Joe is genuine progress. Kudos, Dad.




Bonus me-me-me caption from a day or so ago:

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Lily being a pooner

What did I miss?

 

[Law]

Grace looks positively cadaverous in the throuple article.

 

[Trianon]

That article is absolutely delicious. The Cut is built for making fun of these types; even if the author didn't intend it to be a hit piece, it is read as one because their whole beat is People Who Think They Are Smart Fell For This Insane Scam. The joke works better when the authors try to rationalize it as totally normal and fine.

“We’re aware of what the legalwork should be,” Danny says. “I fucking keep forgetting to email the lawyer,” Grace says.

Well, there you go. Not a lick of sense between them. It's up to Gogo and Bon Bon to raise this child now. Mallory has been seething for literally years about Lily crowding in, but she can't think of any better solution than getting an $18-an-hour weekend job. And Lily is a clown freak? (is this why Joe's book was all about clowns?). It's so just wow.

Joe has responded to the Cass Review, the UK report that advises no more puberty blockers and ideally no hormones before 18. The Labour Party has already committed to implementing all the recommendations if they take Parliament next.


link | archive

Re. the Cass report: the framing of trans civil rights claims in the UK comes down to a matter of whether you think transition is a tragic outcome, or a good one. I think it’s a good one. I am moved, galvanized, aroused, and intrigued when people take control of their own bodies.

The focus on detransitioners—to whom, bon courage!!—seems designed to nourish a fantasy that transition produces sad, deluded, thwarted, unfuckable, sick, barren weirdos. That fantasy, of course, serves those who might at some point have wanted to transition, and didn’t.

When J. K. Rowling says that she opposes patient-led healthcare for trans-identifying minors bc they might have “transed” her as a kid, one can sense, under the frantic contempt, a kind of envy. I can see why.

I’ve tended to argue that there are no trans people, only transitions; that the inclination to transition probably exists to some degree in everyone—at least, it is the norm rather than the exception. That’s an unpopular idea, obviously—we’re skeptical of Freudian universalism.

But whatever: coming out of the Cass report, we need to be able to defend transition as such. Not as a condescending entitlement for a pitiable few, but as a practice of freedom central to the dignity and potential of the human species.

If you like people who have transitioned, perhaps you like aspects of them that have been actualized through practices of bodily autonomy, techniques of transitions acquired and practiced freely. We need to get used to celebrating transition. It is a good thing.

And maybe that means holding the door open slightly longer for Rowling to speculate about what her life might have been like had she chosen a different path. We’re all entitled to regret, resentment, and ambivalence. But there’s a reason why rates of regret are so low.

Tell trans people you admire them today. We are not delusional, we are not subjects of social contagion, we are not entryists or creeps or rapists. We know what we’re doing and we are very grateful that we can do it. Shut up or get out of our way.

OOOOOF.

 

[peatbog]

Trooner nonsense aside, wtf are they taking a tiny baby on a road trip? Most sane people stay at home for at least a couple of weeks, and restrict visits to close friends and family.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Two questions:

Does it chaff Joe that his husband is still more talked about than he is, and more liked?

And do you think Joe (because he has the penis) will have a second child, with or without Lily?

 

[monstrous bubo]

Most sane people

Well there’s your first mistake.

Joe is a visiting scholar at Johns Hopkins and is giving a lecture on 10 April, The Pedophile’s Complaint: Hoax News in the Neoliberal Decade

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Joe's fed this breeder story to more outlets than he did PR for his books.

 

[Allo Vera]

What did I miss?

Lily was teaching art history at Michigan State and — by her account — “reading Killing Eve fan fiction and masturbating.”

[…]

“I didn’t want to read more fan fiction,” Lily says. “I wanted my life to resemble fan fiction.”

OK, so unlike most pooners she stopped short of trooning out, but instead shacked up with two of them - one of whom is surplus to requirements and gets in the way, but they’re dealing with that by forcing her to get a day job.

Close enough.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I remember one of the early Mallory Prudie letters was from a woman who wrote in saying that their kid's eight year old friend had shit their pants and left them sitting on the coffee table with the turd on display for all to see. She wanted to know what the fuck to say to the kid's mom, and Mallory wrote that she couldn't give a very precise answer because she wasn't sure if that was developmentally normal for an eight year old or not.

Rocco is fucked.

One thing is very clear about all three, they have no experience with babies or children. It’s always fun to watch people who have never been around or cared for children (either via baby sitting or helping with younger family members) suddenly take on the 24/7 role of a parent. It’s like learning to swim by being thrown in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Trooner nonsense aside, wtf are they taking a tiny baby on a road trip? Most sane people stay at home for at least a couple of weeks, and restrict visits to close friends and family.

Because they are absolutely fucking clueless when it comes to what an infant needs. They are definitely the morons that think their baby will be different, and think of it as an accessory not much different than a cute dog. Look at all the attention this baby has gotten them in the first week. They think it’s marvelous!

They are also the type of assholes that will have no problem inflicting their fussy child on the general public. Why sit home with a crying baby when they can sit in a restaurant or cafe with a crying baby? Or board a plane or train with one?

There’s a reason for the creation of “nurseries” in homes. Babies really do need to mostly stay put in a familiar environment and be nurtured in their first two years, learn a bit about not killing themselves and screaming loudly before being unleashed on the wider world. But this would make Lilly very unhappy. She had this baby to anchor herself to Joe. She’s going to be displeased when she realizes he is taking frequent trips to get away from her and Rocco instead of taking them with him.

Two questions:

Does it chaff Joe that his husband is still more talked about than he is, and more liked?

And do you think Joe (because he has the penis) will have a second child, with or without Lily?

Absolutely. The only reason the press bit on this story is due to the non-parent Mallory, Joe and Lilly are just boring breeders, but forcing Mallory on to this mess makes them relevant. They need Mallory for every drop of attention they covet. She’s always been a pawn for Joe’s unceasing thirst for attention, but she’s been dumb enough to play along and even pose with her husband’s pregnant girlfriend for a magazine cover. Lol. Joe is delighted with her total subjugation. I’m sure Lilly enjoys some leverage over their little transmasc cuck too.

 

[AMHOLIO]

She had this baby to anchor herself to Joe. She’s going to be displeased when she realizes he is taking frequent trips to get away from her and Rocco instead of taking them with him.

The fact that Joe needs to go back to Berkley in California and Lilly needs to go back to Michigan will be a nice little trial of love. And by that I mean Joe is about to poly cheat on everyone.

Will he straight up dump Lilly once he's away for a while after a few months of screaming baby Rocco? Will he actually go back to her because he likes the idea of a son? I know Mallory is dumped only when she stops being useful so I'm not worried about them.

 

[Bumbling Idiot]

I'm ugly, but I'm not Throuple-Ugly, that's a whole other level of wretched

I'm sure a kid with a name like that will be home schooled because who you're guaranteeing daily bullying otherwise