First, I want to thank
everyone for their support.
My daughter had her first therapy appointment yesterday and it was so helpful. She is clearly having some very big feelings about what is going on with her father and she needs a place to talk it out. A couple of things she shared right off the bat with me afterward:
- The way her father is dressing and acting make her uncomfortable and she isn't sure how she is supposed to act.
- She feels that her father is being selfish and she feels like he "doesn't want her anymore" (this broke my heart).
- She NEEDS a daddy (her words) and she is glad my husband will be that for her.
I did share these things with her father (after getting her permission) in the most sensitive and compassionate way I could muster. "Casey"'s response was disappointing. She was angry with daughter and said I should punish her for her "transphobia". Frankly, it was a bit unhinged. She also said that if our daughter didn't want her any more than maybe she didn't want our daughter anymore (those were the words verbatim. I am not implying anything). I was shocked and heartbroken.
Clearly, I am not going to punish my 10 year old daughter for struggling with her father transitioning. I also don't want Casey punishing her.
So, this morning I did something I thought I would never do, I asked my lawyer to file a petition for full legal and physical custody of our daughter. I have asked for supervised visits at my daughter's request. At this time, I cannot trust Casey around my daughter at this point.
I hope I have done the right thing for my daughter. I grew up with an emotionally abusive father who regularly told me he didn't want me. I will not allow my daughter to experience the same.
For any reason.
I know that there are people on this board who put up with much worse, but much of what I have read here reminds me of the emotional abuse of my childhood. I just can't do it. I understand others make different choices (especially if they are still in the relationships), but it is not for my family.