Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[genericwhitemale]

Dick will be on the show "soon enough"

Want to hear him do a live pitch for his podcast.

 

[Howling Janny Dog]

Dick will be on the show "soon enough"

IIRC the last time Juju was on, even he was kinda repulsed at Rekieta's obsession with American Beauty. While I don't expect there to be a live disowning, I daresay it could be the final time that daddy Daxipad will bless Balldo with his presence.

 

[Father Balldo]

The Denny's "Joke" / rant was retarded enough but the fact that he kept going on and on and getting more emotional about it is unhinged.. you know he thinks it was just so WEIRD and FUNNY!. Is this a preview of his podcast with Dax?

"It's like when you go to Denny's with a cop..."
"Yeah like Denny's is a mystery meal ACK ACK ACK that's why I just walk out without paying ACK ACK ACK"
"Hahaha BUT IMAGINE, DICK, IMAGINE, What if you were Stephen Hawking and you ordered pancakes but they gave you waffles. You want to walk out... but you can't, because you are Stephen Hawking, so you can't walk!!"
"ACK ACK ACK!!"

 

[Maude Snew]

Don't forget! He has said that swingers are EVERYWHERE--even in churches! Secret degenerates abound and it is OKAY! Those Scandinavian prudes have ruined church and made it too judgmental. Jesus hung out with the hoes!

You know the old saying. If you meet a swinger in the morning you've met a swinger but if you meet swingers all day it is in fact you who is the swinger.

 

[HodgePodgeRogerDodger]

@Himedall All-seeing Waifu

My point was more the contempt he holds for some Evangelical Church group. Basically getting angry at their worship group being selected somewhat on their appearance or the “in vain” rant being angry at some woman praying that God helps her win the bake off. He’s pissed that he has to associate with these people, that his wife forced him to hang out with these flannel wearing retards who don’t appreciate the Great Nick Rekieta and his funny insights.

He doesn’t call them Fake Christians, but he effectively does through the most transparent lawyer speak ever. The entire rant is just sneering at some perceived slight (not letting him teach Bible School) or the people who his wife forced him to interact with. He’s just insufferable to listen to, I hope more of the Lawtube guests smack him down.

 

[Sharpeteer]

Kurt doing his absolute best to try and keep this shitshow on the rails. God bless the pink woman hating bastard

EDIT: Nearly an hour in and the topic hasn’t even been mentioned while Kurt absolutely stone walls all of Nick’s deranged rambling. Absolutely incredible.

Is there ever a Nick Rekieta show that isn't a complete disaster?

He can never just do a normal show anymore - even if it's not about legal stuff, just BS about things he likes that people can relate to, or be really lazy and simply watch funny videos that people send him. No, it's always show up shitfaced and/or on drugs, get shitfaced on camera, reveal way too much that nobody wanted to know about him, seethe about people being mean to him, have the absolute worst guests on, get his guests to stoop to his level (or try to), and (accidentally) reveal something really damning about his parenting, marriage, family problems, addictions, or things he previously claimed were fiction.

Every single show, a disaster. That is.. if he even shows up.

Nick is now trying to get kurt to be agreeable to degeneracy because it's not as bad as cheese pizza.

Edit: he kept repeating his argument until he had to drop the degeneracy part and only ask kurt if cheese pizza is bad to get kurt to agree.

This is how he works - he needs to know he's not alone, and since he at least has the awareness to know no decent person will agree with his absolute idiocy, he has to baby-step them into it by comparing everything he partakes in with the absolute most evil things (like CP). Only the dumbest of people use this strategy because there's no other way. He will at least get a "Well, I suppose what you want me to say isn't a bad thing... at least isn't as bad as murder or CP or whatever ridiculous apples/oranges comparison you just made."

That to him is a win. He didn't get an outright rejection, he got SOME-thing.

Don't forget! He has said that swingers are EVERYWHERE--even in churches! Secret degenerates abound and it is OKAY! Those Scandinavian prudes have ruined church and made it too judgmental. Jesus hung out with the hoes!

Nevermind that churches have worked, and generally followed the same formula LONG before he was even alive. THEY all ruined it, and his new presence is truly God's wishes.

Spoiler: Christsperg posting

There's so much wrong with Nick's thought process here, and people that think like the latter part of this are everywhere. I will concur that there are likely people that go to church every Sunday, and are even very much involved in the service, activities, etc that are actually gross degenerates in private. Here's the thing though, they don't keep it a secret because it's some sort of wink-wink nudge-nudge with everyone there, and they all go to swinger parties after Sunday worship, but have to play it up for the pastor or whatever. They keep it secret because they know it's wrong, goes against everything they claim to believe, and are embarrassed about it. When you try and hide your addictions, crutches, or other darker secrets (degeneracy, homosexuality, alcoholism, porn, etc) from other people, it's probably because you're ashamed, embarrassed, or know that it's truly a problem that you'll "deal with tomorrow."

So this idea that people at the church are just like him, and the churches are really just a front for people that want to all fuck each other with Balldos is just classic projecting that only embarrassed people do. Despite him trying to put up this front online, I think deep down he knows he's a disgrace to everyone who once welcomed him into the church as one of their own, and him blurting out the stupidest shit I've ever heard anyone say about Christianity is just him trying to convince himself otherwise. It's THEIR fault, not his for being a liability to everyone there.

Also, this idea he has that all these "prudes" and judgemental people ruined the church, so he says, is so typical of people that infiltrate environments they weren't welcomed or wanted. Churches have worked, generally following the same formula, for much longer than Nick Rekieta has ever been alive, so him claiming churches were ruined by the people that were already there in churches LONG before him, yet he, a guy who started showing up long after, decided his new presence isn't what would ruin it, but a pre-existing successful system that brings Christians together for worship is what ruined it. If you take all of Nick's complaints out of the church, it is at that point literally nothing more than a social club, ya know, basically what those "LGBTQ churches" are. Pointless to even call it a church at that point, so Nick going there is only a negative thing for himself, and everyone there. Just go somewhere else if you aren't there to worship.

If he wants to be an atheist, and make all these YouTube videos claiming that Christians are all idiots or whatever, and that churches are all a front for Hedo II frequenters, then just do it. The real insult is that this guy seems to genuinely think he is a valid voice for people in a religion he doesn't even pretend to want to practice. That's what's so annoying. He can't just come out and say he doesn't believe that Jesus is the son of God, and that he now believes he was wrong for ever having been involved in such a religion. Instead, he plays the "I'm the last REAL Christian on Earth, and here's the TRUTH" card.

If there's ever a global flood that lasts 40 days where people have to get on a giant boat to survive, we will know it's because God really wanted Nick dead.

 

[DumbDude43]

Aaron Imholte gave more information about April's speeding ticket on his morning show today shortly after playing a video of Mersh defending Steel Toe Morning Show.

Aaron claims that the ticket had the wrong make, model, and license plate for April's vehicle, which would make it even more embarrassing that Nick not only failed to get the ticket thrown out, he managed to get April on the hook for more than she would have paid from the start.

Aaron says that Nick told them he would "do what I can", which turned out to be literally nothing. Aaron also embarrasses himself by admitting the Imholtes paid Rekieta $0, far more than his expertise was worth.

View attachment 5935662

about the steel toe guy:

fatty and cokeski are dunking on him for being a spineless groveling bitch about his wife leaving his podcast lol
i get the feeling that his wife is trying to shack up with nick so she can divorce this guy

 

[Mordecai "3 Finger" Brown]

I had a shower thought the other day about all of the people who first came on the internet scene around the time of the Depp/Heard Trial and appeared rather quickly on Rekieta's show... and those who hooked onto Rekieta and those who didn't... those who failed... and those who didn't.

I'd probably quibble that the successful collaborators and competitors logged off after Rittenhouse and before Depp.

Emily D. Baker & Viva Frei left immediately after Kyle to do their own successful branding.

LegalBytes tried to go independent and become Lawtube Queen at the time of Depp, did Mean Girls catty shit behind the scenes with Nick quietly for months and now is relevant to no one.

By the time Depp got rolling, the only adjacents still hanging around on trialstreams with Nick were Legal Mindset, Branca, Legal Vices, Potentially Criminal, Andrea Burkhart and sometimes DUI Guy.

Vices and Sean used Nick at the time to get their own things going and now have their own little audiences. Branca is a YT boomer that can't monetize the platform, but presumably makes money off his fake law school and self-defense club grifts elsewhere. Burkhart and Larry are practising lawyers who don't come around anymore, likely because Nick abandoned daytime trial streaming.

Legal Mindset pretended to be "ride or die" with Nick and Drex during the first season of alogging after Nick's lewds and Hedo, but became an alog himself once he achieved his own success replacing Nick as the pop culture legal guest re: Disney with FNT.

 

[Pippa's Greasy KB]

I'd probably quibble that the successful collaborators and competitors logged off after Rittenhouse and before Depp.

Emily D. Baker & Viva Frei left immediately after Kyle to do their own successful branding.

LegalBytes tried to go independent and become Lawtube Queen at the time of Depp, did Mean Girls catty shit behind the scenes with Nick quietly for months and now is relevant to no one.

By the time Depp got rolling, the only adjacents still hanging around on trialstreams with Nick were Legal Mindset, Branca, Legal Vices, Potentially Criminal, Andrea Burkhart and sometimes DUI Guy.

Vices and Sean used Nick at the time to get their own things going and now have their own little audiences. Branca is a YT boomer that can't monetize the platform, but presumably makes money off his fake law school and self-defense club grifts elsewhere. Burkhart and Larry are practising lawyers who don't come around anymore, likely because Nick abandoned daytime trial streaming.

Legal Mindset pretended to be "ride or die" with Nick and Drex during the first season of alogging after Nick's lewds and Hedo, but became an alog himself once he achieved his own success replacing Nick as the pop culture legal guest re: Disney with FNT.

How can you forget the fucking jew? Jew lawgic is doing decently...better growth and larger audience than aussie and vices I think (probably cause he's laser focused on right wing politics and religion, puts me to sleep tbh). But all 3 are balldo washers and would still claim that they are, even now, I'm sure. The difference is that aussie and vice are probably still eager to appear on nick's stream. Lawgic disappeared from nick's stream way faster cause I think he has a better sense of self preservation and nick did disrespect him hard by arranging a collab show with him and then bailing on him repeatedly for weeks until they straight up cancelled the monday show (so me saying lawgic will still say he likes nick is because lawgic is just paying lip service imo).

Also runkle and lumber is doing well, last i checked. I tune in to runkle time to time cause his streams are chill while not exuding wine mom aura (emily's audience are all winemoms so the topics and the way she talks skews that way while vices IS the winemom, aussie is just fucking gross so i dont even bother to check). Andrea Burkhart appeared on runkle's streams quite often the past month I think. Can't remember if it was to do with the kohlberger or the rust shooting. So her not appearing on nick's show is not because she's THAT busy, I think. Her last appearance on nick's show was awkward cause he knew almost nothing about the case so she had to drive everything iirc.

I also don't check on lumber cause he's too emotional (probably why people think he's gay). Larry DUI guy is a drama queen on twitter so I can't even imagine his normal streams being bearable (had some kinda fight with andrea, accusing her putting some kinda court information behind her paywall or something). Branca is a fucking faggot through and through both on twitter and stream. Remember the twitch ethot bitching at her audience for not having 5 dollars? The one that nick once mocked before? That's branca.

/end ramble

 

[Return of the Freaker]

I d

You can't just drop that screenshot with Balldo private detective and not post it. He actually crashes a fucking plane complete with the "terrain terrain" warning thing. It's like poetry it rhymes.

I didn't know Angry Joe became a balldo detective.

His whole cope about night owl and bringing baby to lady rackets and how it’s changed is 100% making me feel a divorce is imminent. He isn’t checking on her or his kids I bet. Especially after him saying they knocked on his door and he screamed “daddy’s working”

Lady Rackets hasn't been in the house for a while. Now Lady Rackets is what he calls his boxed wine stash

 

[Poop Shoot]

how does he know those are asian vaginas?

Because they’re slanted

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

He explicitly told them to go and sin no more, but who's really paying attention?

Kurt doing his absolute best to try and keep this shitshow on the rails. God bless the pink woman hating bastard

EDIT: Nearly an hour in and the topic hasn’t even been mentioned while Kurt absolutely stone walls all of Nick’s deranged rambling. Absolutely incredible.

I feel bad for Kurt that he wants to hang on to his few internet fwends and has to put up with this. This just shows Nick cannot discuss law at all anymore for more than 7 minutes at a time.

If that really happened, Nick missed a fucking lay-up of a case to win. He could have won it and told the whole world. Then again he squanders his opportunities like the highest tiered niggers.

Remember his story about his first case? He found an HOA that registration lapsed and got the case dismissed based on that, then they settled? He even had a huge mic drop moment in the court room?

Yeah, I am doubting that story now... Or this is a sign of how badly he has degenerated.

Booze and uppers have really messed up whatever comedic timing he had in the past. The aggro cross-examination of Kurt about whether he's gone to Denny's lately and received his order is bizarre. Where's the joke Nick?

"Cops don't know what they've ordered!" (smug whiskey-soaked smile)
(several moments later)
"I just hate Denny's."

Did you record these at 1.5x speed or something? Nick is talking so damn fast that I'm surprised the tiny little breaths he takes can sustain his rambling non-sequitur that falls flat on its face because it relies on his audience to have had the exact same Denny's experience as him.

Also, I love that by the end of his having to explain "It's like a cop at a Denny's, he just doesn't know if he ordered the right thing," to Kurt he basically admits that what he really meant was "anybody at a Denny's" but he threw "a cop" in there because it was funnier to him.

I'd tell Nick not to quit his day job for the comedy routine, but his day job is spiraling a drain and the day job he left for this one is across some thoroughly burned bridges.

Is this how Dick Masterson's show goes? But he has people in the studio and/or a laugh track? I vaguely recall Josh saying something like this. I also seem to recall non-sequitor humour as well...

I am more convinced than ever that Nick is testing stand=up material on his show.

Imagine explaining this to a future employer, not that she can get a job anywhere.

>So you have a record?
>Yes, for a speeding ticket. It went to court.
>?
>My lawyer was busy fluffing bulls and arranging his balldo, he didn't show up in a zoom meeting.
>Nathaniel (manager) has left the call

Do traffic violations affect employment in the United States? What is this?

@Himedall All-seeing Waifu

My point was more the contempt he holds for some Evangelical Church group. Basically getting angry at their worship group being selected somewhat on their appearance or the “in vain” rant being angry at some woman praying that God helps her win the bake off. He’s pissed that he has to associate with these people, that his wife forced him to hang out with these flannel wearing retards who don’t appreciate the Great Nick Rekieta and his funny insights.

He doesn’t call them Fake Christians, but he effectively does through the most transparent lawyer speak ever. The entire rant is just sneering at some perceived slight (not letting teach Bible School) or the people who his wife forced him to interact with. He’s just insufferable to listen to, I hope more of the Lawtube guests smack him down.

The 'in vain' part means carelessly or in a way that takes advantage of His reputation and brings dis-repute. Kind of like calling yourself a Christian, and shilling the Balldo and other degeneracy. It doesn't do any good to the message and it is done flippantly--in vain. You are supposed to be improved by being a Christian; not just do what you want.

There's so much wrong with Nick's thought process here, and people that think like the latter part of this are everywhere. I will concur that there are likely people that go to church every Sunday, and are even very much involved in the service, activities, etc that are actually gross degenerates in private. Here's the thing though, they don't keep it a secret because it's some sort of wink-wink nudge-nudge with everyone there, and they all go to swinger parties after Sunday worship, but have to play it up for the pastor or whatever. They keep it secret because they know it's wrong, goes against everything they claim to believe, and are embarrassed about it. When you try and hide your addictions, crutches, or other darker secrets (degeneracy, homosexuality, alcoholism, porn, etc) from other people, it's probably because you're ashamed, embarrassed, or know that it's truly a problem that you'll "deal with tomorrow."

Agreed, this is projection because HE does not want to be around them because there is some small part of himself that can feel shame. His tactic of isolation from EVERYONE accelerated the downfall of this social skills. This is why he says weird shite and no one laughs--Nick has socially stunted himself. Remember the celebrity who was asked about the price of a banana and estimated it was 7 dollars? Yeah... Nick is the one who has lost touch and cannot read social cues.

 

[AltisticRight]

Do traffic violations affect employment in the United States? What is this?

Nope, not really? But I have been in interviews where they ask about run-ins with the law. Most would have a disclaimer saying traffic tickets don't count. I guess if driving as a job was required, that'll matter a bit more.

 

[feral cat #6385]

No you aren't.

LegalBytes tried to go independent and become Lawtube Queen at the time of Depp, did Mean Girls catty shit behind the scenes with Nick quietly for months and now is relevant to no one.

LegalBytes and her husband were right about Nick Rekieta.

Lady Rackets hasn't been in the house for a while. Now Lady Rackets is what he calls his boxed wine stash

"Lady Rackets" is slang for cocaine in Minnesota.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

No you aren't.

Disagree. He’s interesting… just interesting like passing by a car wreck interesting

 

[Heliantheae]

View attachment 5936665

Bet he felt like he was Oscar Wilde with that zinger.

 

[Maude Snew]

No you aren't.

Nick admitting he can't/doesn't read social cues? That's just grand. That's the first step to getting better. Ah who am I kidding, can't stop won't stop.

 

[PyrrhicRustle]

I will concur that there are likely people that go to church every Sunday, and are even very much involved in the service, activities, etc that are actually gross degenerates in private. Here's the thing though, they don't keep it a secret because it's some sort of wink-wink nudge-nudge with everyone there, and they all go to swinger parties after Sunday worship, but have to play it up for the pastor or whatever. They keep it secret because they know it's wrong, goes against everything they claim to believe, and are embarrassed about it.

I also suspect he’s sort of equivocating normal private couple things and actual shameful degeneracy. Married couples should and do have sex, but that’s really not the business of anyone else, and normal people do not want to talk to their church group about their sex lives, even if they’re only doing perfectly normal things. I don’t think most people would consider a wife having some lingerie she puts on for her husband on special occasions to be degenerate but I can guarantee she probably doesn’t want her pastor to know about it, even if it isn’t sinful, it’s private. I think Nick’s wet brain looks at people having some discretion about their sex lives as hypocritical. In his mind, if she likes dressing up sexy for her husband, she ought to be open about that and really, she should probably be streaming it and getting some onlyfans money for Disneyland or whatever, and if she doesn’t, she’s being a prude.

 

[Strix454]

First amendment and obscenity talk; Nick is weirdly insistent that child porn doesn't appeal to a prurient interest; he wants to distinguish between sexual and "perverse" interest; "there's no amount of literary contribution that makes the rape of a child acceptable" [That's because it's rape, dumbass]

So he is actually at the point where he is preaching that all CP is constitutionally protected free speech? That sexual interest in children isn't a perverse interest? If Nick wants to keep going down the libertine path here, the next stop would be talking about the "rights" of children to consent and to sexual involvement. But I suppose making these arguments and dying on pedo hill is an obvious direction for him to go. He should have his good friend Vito on and they can talk about pedo rights together. What garbage Nick is.

i get the feeling that his wife is trying to shack up with nick so she can divorce this guy

I think she is aiming higher. She will not only ditch Aaron the loser, she sees Nick as her path forward. She is a druggie bisexual whore. Nick has serious money. She is way younger than his wife. And she has maybe moved into the house. When she made her move on Aaron years back, she got him to ditch his pregnant wife for her. She has all the skills and all the talents to push Kayla right out the door. She might be able to convince Kayla to walk out the door.

 

[AnOminous]

I called that on day one. That Nick was doing this pro bono.

Moar like PRO BONER. Considering he's probably boning her.

He doesn't have a limp dick problem, he has a tiny dick problem. That's why he spent 20 minutes on stream with some other losers explaining how 'the ballgasm' has nothing to do with the balls and is from penis-on-clit stimulation. It sounded to me like humping with extra steps, for guys (like Nick I assume) who can't penetrate very deep.

Imagine the sheer frustration of being Kayla, having a whiny tiny dick shit for brains husband, who penetrates you with his itty bitty mosquito dick and jizzes just enough to impregnate you, five times, so you have a brood of retards but not a single orgasm in your life. No wonder that bitch is so crazy.