Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Sharpeteer]

Did either of them say to tell the cop you weren't paying attention to your speed while driving your rear-wheel drive sports car in wet, rainy conditions with your kid in the car?

I don't know, but I imagine they were surprised to find a Mustang stuck in a ditch. One that looked so new at that.

Spoiler: Mustang story

So a few weeks ago, I had to make a 5 hour drive on the freeway with someone. Of all the asshole drivers we saw on that trip, most them were Mustangs, really. We were talking about that, and while obviously irl friends of mine have no idea who Nick is, I commented on how only midlife crisis drunken assholes drive those. He agreed, and I laughed.

 

[Captain Manning]

So a few weeks ago, I had to make a 5 hour drive on the freeway with someone. Of all the asshole drivers we saw on that trip, most them were Mustangs, really. We were talking about that, and while obviously irl friends of mine have no idea who Nick is, I commented on how only midlife crisis drunken assholes drive those. He agreed, and I laughed.

Yeah, deserved or not, Mustang drivers have a reputation for being assholes. There's memes all over the Internet.

You know who also drives a Mustang? Patrick Tomlinson. The guy that lost to Nick for 2023 LOTY.

I wonder what Bossman Jack drives? It would be funny if it was also a Mustang.

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

Ironically, this has actually been great advice from him. To be polite, but not talk about your day and just say no to things. I.E. "Do you know the speed limit?" "Do you know how fast you were going?"

I got out of doing 80 in a back alley downtown by doing this. Unironically thanks Balldo.

I had a friend who said he would tell long rambling stories that went nowhere. Claimed they used soap opera plots and broke down in tears at the end. They seemed to think it was effective because they never got a ticket.

Far better attorneys than Nick have been saying this for a long time. I must have posted Pot Brothers at Law to KF like 3 or 4 times now. I am not into marijuana, or any other drug, but they have the best short videos on how to deal with police encounters.

Incidentally, California recently made it so officers can no longer ask you "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Instead, they must immediately tell you the reason they pulled you over.

https://www.kqed.org/news/11974283/police-can-no-longer-ask-do-you-know-why-i-pulled-you-over-in-california-heres-why

Pot Brothers are great, but Chris Rock has a good skit:

 

[East_Clintwood]

I wonder what Bossman Jack drives? It would be funny if it was also a Mustang.

He doesn't drive (because that would involve leaving his house, let alone his room). However for a while he did constantly talk about buying a car with his monthly Kick check, specifically a Civic, before he inevitably lost it all.

 

[Captain Manning]

I had a friend who said he would tell long rambling stories that went nowhere. Claimed they used soap opera plots and broke down in tears at the end. They seemed to think it was effective because they never got a ticket.

This friend of yours... is he named Abe Simpson?

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

Did either of them say to tell the cop you weren't paying attention to your speed while driving your rear-wheel drive sports car in wet, rainy conditions with your kid in the car?

Not to nose guard, but some of you niggers really need to learn to drive. Depending on conditions, 80 in the wet is just fine. Jesus you're all like soccer moms here.

 

[Balldo's Gate]

I don't know whats more horrifying, going 80 in a 65 while its raining with a kid in the back, or the license plate that reads LAWPOPE.

Going 80 in a 65 while it's raining with a kid in the Mustang with a LAWPOPE plate while blasting Korn. Because Nick has said he blasts cringe 90s rock in the car to try to embarrass his kids while dropping them off at places. But remember you MUST be a Scandinavian prude if you think anything negative about this real life lawyer version of Harry Du Bois.

Depending on conditions, 80 in the wet is just fine. Jesus you're all like soccer moms here.

The guy drove his car into the ditch on the way home from the dealership. I wouldn't trust him to drive 15 under the speed limit in the rain, let alone 15 over the morning after nighttime streaming (even if he wasn't drinking during the show)

 

[Sharpeteer]

Not to nose guard, but some of you niggers really need to learn to drive. Depending on conditions, 80 in the wet is just fine. Jesus you're all like soccer moms here.

Where I am, you can go 80 on a 65 freeway, and most cops won't bother you unless they're having a really crappy day and want to punish you for it. I do it all the time going past their usual hiding spots, and never been stopped for it.

Rain is fine for me, unless it starts to puddle, which is very common here. If it's raining hard enough to where the puddles on the concrete start to mess with the stability of the car, I slow down well below 80 until I'm past them all. Everyone else can go around me, it's fine, I'm good looking at the back of all those Mustangs anyway.

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

Rain is fine for me, unless it starts to puddle, which is very common here.

It really depends where you are. NE I've always been able to cruise in the wet. But once you get west of PA, forget about it. Puddles everywhere.
Where I currently live, I tend to go under the limit because civil engineering is hard or something.

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

This friend of yours... is he named Abe Simpson?

No, I think the whole young woman, blonde, busty, and blubbering was what did it. All the constables that stopped her were male.

Nick has no such advantages, as such, and would probably offer them a Balldo if he ever drove while plastered. That bodycam footage would be kino.

 

[Captain Manning]

Not to nose guard, but some of you niggers really need to learn to drive. Depending on conditions, 80 in the wet is just fine. Jesus you're all like soccer moms here.

I dunno man. I think one of the main takeaways from this thread, especially as of late, is you should obey whatever the posted speed limit is.

Otherwise hilarity might ensue.

Another takeaway is if you get popped in Minnesota for speeding, don't hire Nicholas Robert Rekieta as your attorney.

 

[AltisticRight]

Not to nose guard, but some of you niggers really need to learn to drive. Depending on conditions, 80 in the wet is just fine. Jesus you're all like soccer moms here.

I wouldn't even trust this drunken hedonist with a Lego toy car in the living room because he might just set the entire house on fire.

 

[mindlessobserver]

Not to nose guard, but some of you niggers really need to learn to drive. Depending on conditions, 80 in the wet is just fine. Jesus you're all like soccer moms here.

No it's not. 80 in the wet on an interstate highway is asking for trouble. Learning how to drive also includes knowing how to handle scenarios. On two occasions I have seen retards spin out of control on a highway in wet conditions. One time they very obligingly span all the way off the road before flipping over in the median. The second time they very inconveniently went horizontal across the three lanes of traffic. Fortunately for him I was going 55 in the 65 and was able to come to a dead stop in the middle lane before I T-Boned his ass.

 

[Marchesa of the Vast]

The citing officer is named Joshua.

View attachment 5943870

Nice.

It would be funnier still if there were one additional O and he were were pulled over by Joshua Moonson.

Just further proof that Nick has drawn the judgement of God to call him to repentance. It's not too late Nick! Even God wants you to pull up!

 

[Sharpeteer]

It's not too late Nick! Even God wants you to pull up!

And I really hope he listens before we start hearing rumors that "...a flood's coming, but don't tell him."

 

[Not Who You Think]

I think he thinks if he brute forces things, he'll get somewhere eventually.

That's definitely part of it. The other issue (among many) is that Nick seems to associate comedy with whatever provokes a negative response rather than what makes other people laugh.

This is from the stream Nick did with Juju where he revealed that he was going to do standup for Chrissy last year:

A good comedian can intentionally make other people laugh, the more the merrier. Nick, being lazy and lacking in creativity, has resorted to essentially telling "jokes" to himself in front of a camera.

True. Heard it many times from comedians saying they will go to clubs unannounced and try material, then remove what got bad reactions and keep what got good reactions. Some doing entire routines, but not liking em and throwing them out.

Absolutely. I benefitted a lot from trying out some material while volunteering at a soup kitchen before going on stage during my college years. Start with a smaller group until you get a least one decent set, a competent sense of timing, and find your own comedic rhythm/style. You also need to take criticism and then actually learn from it.

Waiting until one gets in front of a large audience to try new material is a needless risk, as it might just serve to advertise to everyone how unfunny you are (which is what Nick is doing).

 

[A Cardboard Box]

it's the minifridge that is loud

That's likely because he's a retard that doesn't maintain his equipment. There is an inherent design weakness in virtually all consumer mini fridges, regardless of manufacturer or quality. Because of how compact the cooling and radiating components are, the condenser fans tend to ice up, and if the fridge isn't defrosted, the friction with the bearings will cause a loud whine, and eventually the motor will burn out.

What I'm trying to say is that this dude is so much of a nigger that instead of troubleshooting one of the most common problems with his appliance, which is as complicated as reading the fucking manual, he just unplugged it.

 

[ComeoutandJULAY]

Another takeaway is if you get popped in Minnesota for speeding, don't hire Nicholas Robert Rekieta as your attorney.

FTFY

 

[LiquidKid]

I wonder what Bossman Jack drives? It would be funny if it was also a Mustang.

He’s gonna get a Civic, we all know this is his destiny

 

[FedPostalService]

I’m going to order a butter dish with a cop in a Denny’s.