Christian Love Day Surprise

[DrChristianTroy]

1- Thanks so much to Marvin. You're a fucking king.
2- I assume the first video is madness distilled into its purest form.
3- I don't want to use hate but god damn does Chris come off as a twat in video 2. So I guess John Kyle performed at the wedding, why send the video to him? I mean they could be friends but if it's just some random ass wedding singer that would be insane.
4- "I've tried time and again to get in touch with him." See "TAKE CARE OF OUR MOMMY!" on Twitter.
5- I'm sure it's because of the video quallity being a bit choppy on my end but Chris has weird ass eyebrows. When he's trying to make a point they go all over the place.
6- Fuck. I would LOVE to know the Carina story.

 

[Ca Ira]

I got it to play on my iPad by hitting "download."

Seeing Chris in HD, as it were, is quite an experience.

 

[Henry Bemis]

3- I don't want to use hate but god damn does Chris come off as a twat in video 2. So I guess John Kyle performed at the wedding, why send the video to him? I mean they could be friends but if it's just some random ass wedding singer that would be insane.

This isn't the first time Chris has appealed to random, tangentially-related parties because he's too lazy or afraid to do anything directly.

 

[Pinhead]

I like how he acknowledges the fact that Cole hasn't contacted them in a decade, and then immediately assumes it's Cole's fault. And instead of saying congratulations about Cole getting married, they (as usual) make it all about them and say "WHOOP DE DOO!"

Yeah. I can see why he's just dying to get back in contact with you, Tubby.

I find it interesting that he's able to acknowledge that THE ENTIRE REST OF THE FAMILY hates them, yet he can't connect the dots and realise that it's their fault. Chris is incapable of learning anything.

EDIT: Marvin, was the Shittigan J. Bog (AKA, Smello Mah Gravy) video for Jackie? Or was there another potential fartsweet that fell through?

 

[OtterParty]

Well, I'm surprised.

 

[Varis]

AFAIK, John Kyle is Cole's brother-in-law. Katherine's brother.

Source: I've been stalking on Facebook.

 

[CWCissey]

AFAIK, John Kyle is Coleslaw's brother-in-law. Katherine's brother.

Source: I've been stalking on Facebook.

 

[Pinhead]

I think the pangs of regret have kicked in for Barb. She's still spiteful, toxic and inconsiderate, but it seemed like her Quest For Cole started when Bob died.

After about the first month she realised "Holy shit - I need a real fucking conversation oh my god shut up about the trolls, talk about the fucking news or SOMETHING."

 

[Descent]

He never responds!...he never responds.

Oh gee, I wonder why that might be.

We would have RSVPed sooner and actually come to the wedding had he actually invited me and our mother.

Is it just me, or does it sound like Chris is implying that him and Barb would have crashed the wedding if they found out about it sooner?

 

[Picklechu]

I think the pangs of regret have kicked in for Barb. She's still spiteful, toxic and inconsiderate, but it seemed like her Quest For Coleslaw started when Bob died.

So is officially on a Cole Quest. Has she tried a sign?

 

[CWCissey]

Is it just me, or does it sound like Chris is implying that him and Barb would have crashed the wedding if they found out about it sooner?

I'd say 'threatening' myself.

 

[Marvin]

EDIT: Marvin, was the Shittigan J. Bog (AKA, Smello Mah Gravy) video for Jackie? Or was there another potential fartsweet that fell through?

I think at that point, it was post-Jackie, so, it would've been someone else. But my memory's never good.

Anyway, for anyone who can't see the mediafire versions, here are youtube uploads:

Spoiler

[youtube]TFAMZ_pB6xM[/youtube]

[youtube]jUpMuXlOeVM[/youtube]

 

[WiseOldBadger]

This "Cole Quest" will in no way be succesful right?

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Is it just me, or does it sound like Chris is implying that him and Barb would have crashed the wedding if they found out about it sooner?

I think they definitely wouldn't see anything wrong with crashing. But it's a moot point, because they never put effort into anything, even if they had all the information.

 

[Furina]

His hair looks absolutely horrendous. Chris, I know you don't read these but please please please get a haircut.
On Another note, who is this sweetheart he's m̶u̶r̶d̶e̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶ ̶c̶a̶t̶ singing for?

 

[Pinhead]

Imagine if they showed up WITHOUT the invitation.

"Speak now, or forever hold your peace."
-BAM!- The door swings open. Chris comes tumbling through in his "fancy jacket" crumpled over the top of his Manchester High shirt.
"HEEEYYY DEEEERREE BRUDDER!" Chris yells happily, nearly breaking the stained glass windows due to the sheer pitch and volume of it.

Barb storms in. "COLE! GETCHER THINGS! MAMA'S HERE, YA DON'T NEED THAT GUTTER-ASS HOMEWRECKER!"
Cole looks over at his bride-to-be sheepishly. She takes a step back in shock.

Suddenly the aroma of sardines, ass sweat, and soggy car-ride Q-Sands waft over the attendees.

Barb points a bony decaying finger at his fiancee. "YA DON'T NEED HER! MAMA AND CHRISSUN GOT ALL THE GOD DAMN SPOONIN' YOU NEED! GET IN THE CAR! ALSO, I NEED GAS MONEY."
Chris pipes up, as high pitched as ever. "YEAH! I MEAN, YOU KNOW! DA GAS IS ESSPENSIVE!"

Every non Weston stampedes out of the Church, including Cole's bride.

"SEE? AH TOLD YA SHE WAS NO GOOD FER YA!"

 

[boixosnois]

God damn, thanks a lot, Marvin!

How old are these videos? Because Chris looks TERRIBLE. I mean, like many people pointed out, he looked kinda thinner in the Lego Highschool video and the second house tour. He looks very, very fat and worn-out. His hair looks horrendous and his voice is worse than ever.

I also thought that he would never do again stupid shit that "sweethearts" told him to do in videos, but it seems that Chris will never learn.

 

[butt in trouble]

Notice how Chris HAS to sound smug even when asking a favor to a complete stranger. What an asshole.

 

[Pinhead]

So, I'm assuming this Post-Jackie Mystery Babe has fallen off the radar, hence the video leak? I can't believe he fell for another one.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Notice how Chris HAS to sound smug even when asking a favor to a complete stranger. What an asshole.

Chris and negotiation...