Horrorcow Cecily Kellogg / CecilyK / Uppercase Woman - unrepentant terrible human being liked by no one.

As previously established, Cecily's preeclampsia was not out of her control. She ended up killing both her twins by defiantly binge eating tater tots and other salty foods against the urging of her doctors to cut salt and get healthy. When Cecily was warned by her doctors that her blood pressure was dangerously high, she refused to believe it and so discounted their medical data and opinions.

Three things have determined that I have a high-risk pregnancy. The twins; my weight; and my blood pressure. At my RE’s, I had several high blood pressure readings (that I think, frankly, were wrong). I’ve never had high blood pressure before (I’m one of those annoying fat people with a cholesterol level of 130 and perfect blood pressure). Today my pressure was 140/80, which is high for me, and the midwife thinks the OB will put me on blood pressure medication.

This isn't the only time Cecily refused to believe in facts that were inconvenient and upsetting to her. She has been diagnosed as bipolar by multiple doctors, but according to Cecily, they were lying and instead reacting against her confidence and intelligence.

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She also claims to be an ex-smoker for almost 20 years.

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Cecily and Charlie have a long history of making people ill. Yeah, it's a bad sign that this newspaper article about them is entitled "The Yeast Also Rises."

The Yeast Also Rises
A ditty about vaginal infections was the last straw for a South Street poetry series.

By Daisy Fried


It was the poem about the yeast infection that was the last straw, but it was the story about the pope having sex with the poodle that first made Philip DeGenova itch and squirm.

DeGenova has enough sense of humor about his religion to put a photo of Frank Sinatra above the sculpted head of Jesus Christ in the window of his Cafe Santa Maria, 517 S. Fifth St. But after all, he did name the place after the blessed mom and he did put a couple of mother-and-child paintings on the walls, a statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary by the door, another statue of JC opposite her, plus paintings of Sts. Rita and Lucy (the latter with her plucked-out eyes on a plate) around the cafe and a couple of baby angels in the window.

When DeGenova took over what used to be Ipso Cafe last year he knew he wanted poets to read, and he thought maybe he'd publish a poetry review out of the place. So when Cecily Kellogg and Charlie O'Hay, longtime regulars on the cafe/bar reading circuit who ran a poetry series at Doc Watson's for several years, asked DeGenova if they could install their series at the cafe, he agreed.

That poetry series could never be described as academic. Many of their poets were aggressively performance-oriented. There were serious and resolutely unserious poets, and people who'd scribble on lined paper as they listened to other poets and squint as they took their turns reading to make out what they'd just written, and people who'd shake a tambourine as they read for dramatic effect, and musicians with guitars. Often there'd be a featured reader (full disclosure: this reporter was a featured reader in the series last spring) and then an open reading. A certain neonaivebeat badassness pervaded the open readings.

DeGenova told Kellogg and O'Hay at the outset that he felt uncomfortable with certain subject matters.

"I'm a devout Catholic," said DeGenova. "I go to mass every Sunday. My place is named after Mary. I talked to Cecily about that."

Kellogg told DeGenova she wouldn't invite anyone to read whom she knew to be anti-Catholic or blasphemous. "But I told him we couldn't censor anyone at the open reading," she says.

Everything went swimmingly for a while, though DeGenova didn't expect the "shouting kind of poetry" that he says eventually prevailed. He says attendance at the series, with some exceptions, slacked off and so did publicity, which DeGenova said he wanted Kellogg and O'Hay to take care of. He wanted both to support poetry and bring people into the business, but says mostly the series would fill chairs with people who wouldn't buy anything.

Then, last spring, "people were apparently intoxicated and by the end of the evening there was damage to the racks in the bathroom," says DeGenova.

He says the group also knocked the hand off the BVM statue at the front door. On purpose, he says. "They were mocking her. And I thought, well that's the price you have to pay."

But one day in June, a man read a story that Kellogg describes as being about the "pope fucking a poodle which could be construed as slightly blasphemous," and which DeGenova says had the pope "on the steps of the Vatican, defecating in public, having intercourse with nuns and such nonsense."

So DeGenova asked Kellogg and O'Hay to call it quits for the summer, and get back to him in September to decide if they'd continue the readings. In August DeGenova told City Paper he would welcome the series back in the fall. "I go with the flow," he said. "I'm a poet myself and I would not judge someone else."

But then, with the series started up again for a month, DeGenova admits, he did judge someone.

Last Monday, Kellogg and O'Hay held an open reading. A poet named Elena "Ed" Decker started reading a poem called "The Way What's Beautiful Turns Itself Inside Out and Ugly In Reference to Dying Lotus Buds and Moldy Clams."

The poem, which consisted of a series of extravagant and revolting metaphors for yeast infections, had lines like:

"My yeast infection/is a squeaky jail cell cot/masturbated on by 1,000/drunk men."

That's one of the nicer parts. The poem ends with "I could win any war/just by spreading my legs."

Kellogg says there were just two customers besides those who were involved in the reading group "and they were both into it and listening."

But DeGenova says it was making his customers uncomfortable. "They were eating dinner. One was a regular who was eating her favorite meal and she did not eat another bite after that."

DeGenova says he asked Kellogg what they should do. "But apparently," says DeGenova, "she wasn't going to do anything. So I turned to the poet and said would you mind stopping and moving on to another poem."

Kellogg says DeGenova "gave a big speech about how he's too sensitive and he's tried but he can't take it and we'd have to leave."

DeGenova says he felt "awful, terrible. I was interfering with something that shouldn't be interfered with. But it's the gratuitous stuff that bothers me. And I watched the customers. They weren't responding well."

Kellogg and O'Hay went to Quarry Street Cafe that very night and arranged with the owner to move the series to that cafe's new basement room. "He promised there'd be no censorship," she says.

The Quarry Street series will begin when Kellogg and O'Hay get back from their honeymoon. They're getting married next week.

DeGenova still hopes to run readings and a poetry review out of his cafe — of a politer kind. "I'm thinking now, I'll take an evening and give it over to art. I won't mix the restaurant with the poetry."

All's well that end's well?

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Wait, wait, a small business owner wants to combine something he loves with something that will bring more customers in tries his best to be open minded and liberal, but eventually decides to cancel the event when his property is damaged, his other customers stop coming, and the participants deliberately go out of their way be highly offensive and disrespectful to him personally on his own property? WHAT A FASCIST, CISHET PIG! THERE'S ONLY ONE SOLUTION TO THIS!

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Wait, wait, a small business owner wants to combine something he loves with something that will bring more customers in tries his best to be open minded and liberal, but eventually decides to cancel the event when his property is damaged, his other customers stop coming, and the participants deliberately go out of their way be highly offensive and disrespectful to him personally on his own property? WHAT A FASCIST, CISHET PIG! THERE'S ONLY ONE SOLUTION TO THIS!

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Thats SJWs in a fucking nutshell. And this whale is like tumblrs T-1000. They want to speak freely about their yeast infections while you eat and fuck you if you can't handle it, yet will shut down anybody else's "hate speech".
 
Don't keep cramming the same exact phrase into posts over and over. Vary it up a little bit. Google has long since caught on to the "use the same phrase repeatedly to get to the top of the search hits" trick and now often de-lists pages that do it. Typically if you're using a phrase as more than about .5-1% of the words on a page, Google thinks you're a spammer and treats you accordingly.

So if you're trying to search engine optimize your way to ensuring this woman's real story is known by anyone who googles her, your 2004-style keyword cramming shit can and will backfire. Use synonyms: Philly for Philadelphia, PA for Pennsylvania. Use variants of the person's name, including misspelled ones (Ceecee, Cecely, Sicily, Kelogg, Kellog). Don't always keep the city and name so closely connected.
 
Well, for what it's worth we're pretty late to the whale hunt anyways. She's pretty much the CWC of certain mommy blogging sites. GOMI has been at her for years, and we aren't gonna out spam an army of stay at home moms. Seriously, they drive by her house and yell shit at her. CECILAAY!
 
A lack of appropriate emotional boundaries between family members, for example, your mother telling you she got sexual gratification from breastfeeding you (as Cecily claims her mother told her). Despite this grossly inappropriate behavior, guess who was entrusted to babysit Tori on the regular? She even got Tori to wipe her ass, according to Cecily--nevermind that it wouldn't have happened if Cecily and Charlie hadn't left their small child alone with an incapacitated elderly woman while they went to take upskirts of unaware office workers in downtown Philly and creepy videos at Rocky Horror Picture Show screenings.


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Needless to say, caring for the elderly becomes highly unpleasant as they lose the ability to take care of their own bodily functions. What the fuck else did this stupid bitch think that involved? Fucking Christ. Couldn't they at the very least try to rig up a crude bidet so Tori's grandmother could at least take a shit without needing help? A piece of silicon tubing with a wand on the end. You either hook the tubing to a bathroom tap, or else run it through a notch cut into the top of the water tank and use passive water pressure. Tori's nan would have to commando under a long skirt, but at least she'd be able to keep some dignity and won't have to ask her far too young granddaughter to help her.

Cecily and Rain Florence are neck to neck in the "Worst Mother in the World" race, I tell you.
 
Yeah, she have this fucking manic grin, like she is on caffeine 24/7

Funny you should say that. Cecily and Charlie are admittedly addicted to energy drinks, too. Cecily, back when she was still invited to blogging conferences, would tweet and FB desperate pleas for people with cars to bring her energy drinks (they tend to be expensive in hotels like the Ritz-Carlton, where Cecily was pictured with huge cans of Monster at breakfast).

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Yes, Cecily flew off to the Ritz on e-begging proceeds while Charlie and Tori lived on rotten meat and gas station food at home. She also borrowed large sums of money from friends to attend BlogHer the past few years--funds she never repaid. But she's always had cash for Whole Foods steaks for herself, iPhones, expensive makeup, manicures, pink hair dye, and her beloved energy drinks.

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Please don't perpetuate Cecily's self-pitying lies about internet haters driving by her house and yelling at her. That's not true, unless you have information I haven't been able to find while trying to verify this.
 
Please don't perpetuate Cecily's self-pitying lies about internet haters driving by her house and yelling at her. That's not true, unless you have information I haven't been able to find while tryi
"This is the same poster who irl drove by cec's house and reported back to gomi and nothing was said by pp.." This is from some Reddit thread about her.
But don't get me wrong, this is the kiwi farms, we like a drive by trolling around here, I could care less about Cecilys self pity. In fact I hope it eats at her a little bit every night, you can tell she's juuuust smart enough to be slightly self aware. She's a grifter of the Internet age. A 40-something 20-something..
 
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Of all the awful things Cecily and Charlie have done to Tori, such as forcing her to "come out" to the entire internet as "pansexual" at age 10 and depriving her of even the most basic education, few things make me as furious as Cecily totally ignoring Tori's feelings--even as a toddler--and coaxing her to smile and perform for internet strangers. She could barely speak here, but she very clearly stated that she felt dizzy. Cecily ignored that and tried to get her to be a performing seal.


@Mason Verger as for drive-by activities, all I could find on GOMI was one member who lived near her and drove past the foreclosed-upon house after they fled for the ghetto. Nothing about shouting at Cecily and her family. I just don't want to give this bitch ammo, because she has actually done things like claim "haters" and "trolls" made a picture of her as a zombie that she had actually made herself. And yes, the zombie Cecily is drinking an an energy drink too.

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No worries @exceptionalgoogle, it's a great thread and I'm clearly hooked. I'll defer to your expertise on this lolcow. That said, why does she have a problem with a zombie picture, but is 100% cool with her tits wrapped in Christmas lights?
it's like she's not even trying. is that zombie filter pic really the best thing she could pretend to be pissed about?
 
Cecily looks like she should be lounging in grimy throne room, surrounded by various forms of wretched scum and villainy, munching on frogs, and demanding her cronies bring her Solo and the Wookiee.
With her husband sitting on her tail, giggling uncontrollably while ogling the new slave girl..
 
I bet she does actually fear that she'll be strangled to death by a slim, attractive woman in a bikini.

She needn't fear. Any slim, attractive woman that's dragged into her presence will immediately faint from the smell of Cecily's mank filling the room. The unconscious victim will then be ceremoniously thrown into the sarlacc's pit, and the sarlacc's throat will be lined with Charlie's cameras instead of teeth.
 
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