- Joined
- Jun 15, 2014
I think he'd be successful if he really embraced his "King of Hate" persona, instead of waffling on every single facet of his life like the massive coward he is.
Phil could openly and obviously get drunker and drunker during every game playthrough, and really attack every single thing about the games he plays. Ramble about how he doesn't understand why anyone would even waste their time playing the game. Could even joke that the only reason anyone would play it is because they're getting paid, which he is, so he'll keep going. Complain about the textures, the models, rip apart the story, get drunker and angrier until he's telling the characters that they have stupid names and no one cares if they live or die. Get too drunk to play, end it, and repeat until he bitterly slogs through to the end of a medium he clearly despises. Then unapologetically rant for five minutes about what a piece of trash the game he just played was, and never ever compliment it even once. And when the fans come crying at him for saying their favorite game is bad, just respond with "it's a garbage dump full of wasted time and you know it".
This would have a few benefits.
-He'd keep his lowest common denominator fan base that he has now, the ones who are too stupid to like anything but a fat grease ball who shouts the bad words.
-He'd start getting more people following him for the same reason the kiwifarms exists. Because people LOVE being pissed off. Right now he's just pathetic, but if he actually had balls he could be crazy fanboys daily dose of rage.
-No one would overanalyze him, because it'd be obvious the "King of Hate" was just a character taking the piss out of things.
-Everyone has a game they think is terrible, but everyone else seems to love. Well when Phil reviews that game, he nets a new group of watchers who feel lie they're in on the joke and subtly superior.
-Everyone has a game that they absolutely love, and you couldn't help but see what this salty bitch has to say about it.
Phil could be an ironic troll of gaming journalism, like the shock jock of the youtube era. The guy you love to hate, instead of the guy you love to watch slowly roll over and die.
I'd also move his ass into a cheaper house. He gets drunk and plays video games for a living, he needs exactly one room, and should be totally comfortable with three.
*Edit* This also would limit the damage done to his real life. If he ever has to get a real job, he's going to look like the lazy sack of crap he is and no one's going to want to touch him. If he went overboard and really hammed up what he was doing, he could at least spin it as a character he was playing for a web series, instead of the entire world knowing what a lazy joyless hack he is.
