Horrorcow Cecily Kellogg / CecilyK / Uppercase Woman - unrepentant terrible human being liked by no one.

[Tanner Glass]

Aren't they stereotypical white trash? Why are they shitting on other poor white people?

Because in their own minds (and nowhere else) they aren't white trash. They are liberal elites, outstanding artists, and fantastic parents.

 

[The Dude]

I really hope the kid ends up being a lesbian. It's the only way to avoid the inevitable 3+ abortions by age fourteen.

With Charlie as her primary example of masculinity, it's a pretty safe bet Tori will be a rug muncher when she grows up. Then again, poor Tori has Cecily as her primary example of femininity, so maybe Tori will just grow up to be sexually attracted to large animals, like elephants and hippos.

 

[drain]

With Charlie as her primary example of masculinity, it's a pretty safe bet Tori will be a rug muncher when she grows up. Then again, poor Tori has Cecily as her primary example of femininity, so maybe Tori will just grow up to be sexually attracted to large animals, like elephants and hippos.

That poor kid just can't win. If she become a lesbian, what are the chances of her being a normal one? With all this shitstorm surrounding her, if she ends up a lesbian, she will be of the 'rabid quality', with danger hair, danger glasses and a fucking giant fupa, just like her mother.
If she ends up hetero, same.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

That poor kid just can't win. If she become a lesbian, what are the chances of her being a normal one? With all this shitstorm surrounding her, if she ends up a lesbian, she will be of the 'rabid quality', with danger hair, danger glasses and a fucking giant fupa, just like her mother.
If she ends up hetero, same.

I suspect Tori will be encouraged down that road by Cecily. Of course, the alternative is that Tori decides she wants to be normal (unlikely I know) in which case Cecily will no doubt write a wordy blogpost wailing about where she must have gone wrong to have a problematic child.

That, or a little bit of thallium in the pop tart drawer.

 

[Dog Prom 3D]

Aren't they stereotypical white trash? Why are they shitting on other poor white people?

Charlie's family was upper middle class and Charlie has that upper class sense of his moral and social rectitude but since his father had a heart attack and died because he was a moron who worked a desk job and took care of his family, Charlie swore he would never ever become a company man and die young. Instead he's letting his teeth rot out, spending his days photographing the homeless and unsuspecting women, and ignoring his fat wife. But since he deliberately chose this, since he made a point to avoid hard work and to hang out with street dwellers, that makes him far superior to the man in Mobile who works in a garage or the woman in Longview who works in a Minimart. They had no choice but to be manual or blue collar.

And Cecily really thinks she is talented and outre. She holds herself apart from the trashier parts of her own family - she shits on her half-sisters all the time. Her trip to visit them in Louisiana was one of the nastiest thinks she's ever written about - she reeked of social superiority. Also since Charlie attended UPenn, on his parents' dime, Cecily is very impressed with him being Ivy League. Since she married an Ivy Leaguer, she has social importance by proxy.

 

[drain]

Charlie swore he would never ever become a company man and die young. Instead he's letting his teeth rot out, spending his days photographing the homeless and unsuspecting women, and ignoring his fat wife.

Yeah, nothing wrong with what he do. Rotten teeth are in now. But being a company man?? No, that's plain nasty.

Lol, this dude is a trainwreck, maybe that's why he endure that insufferable giant colored cow.

 

[breadandcircuses]

Honestly, the only way Tori could rebel once she becomes a teenager is to be a functional member of society.

 

[The Dude]

That poor kid just can't win. If she become a lesbian, what are the chances of her being a normal one? With all this shitstorm surrounding her, if she ends up a lesbian, she will be of the 'rabid quality', with danger hair, danger glasses and a fucking giant fupa, just like her mother.
If she ends up hetero, same.

Tori "came out" to Cicely at a Pride Parade or something that Cicely dragged her to (a real great event to drag a child to, what with all the nude or nearly nude people that tend to be in them) as pansexual and Cicely burst with pride. It's really sick to be pushing ANY sexuality on a child, but "Liberal Elites" like Cicely and Charlie do it all the time. Tori probably just said it to get some positive attention from her self-absorbed mother because pre-pubescent children typically aren't attracted to anyone "in that way" unless they've been sexually abused or groomed. And really, I think that's what Cicely has been doing; grooming Tori to be something, anything, other than a heterosexual CIS gendered person.

I suspect Tori will be encouraged down that road by Cecily. Of course, the alternative is that Tori decides she wants to be normal (unlikely I know) in which case Cecily will no doubt write a wordy blogpost wailing about where she must have gone wrong to have a problematic child.

That, or a little bit of thallium in the pop tart drawer.

Do you honestly think that "brilliant, genius, perfect Liberal Elite" Cicely Kellogg would ever even THINK the phrase "where did I go wrong" with how self-important and egotistical she is? No, she'll shift the blame on someone else like the media being forced to show heteronormative programming that showcases "outdated ideals of gender rolls and sexuality" and other bullshit Liberal buzzwords by "the Conservative Christian Right" or some such nonsense.

 

[exceptionalgoogle]

Thanks to a tipster in Hollywood who follows this sick trainwreck from afar, here's the picture of the maggot-encrusted mouse skull Charlie proudly posted on his FB and Flickr when they were packing their shit after being foreclosed upon in Lansdowne, PA. As they prepped for the ghetto, Charlie discovered their family heirloom piano was teeming with dead mice and the maggots that had been living off their mouse meat. He thought this was so cool, and the Flickr post is entitled "What we leave behind." Soooo ~poetic~.

Spoiler: Fucking disgusting

He was disappointed that the whole skeleton hadn't held together for the picture.

Meanwhile, Cecily published a "tee-hee, isn't this adorable and hilarious?" blog post about how their curtains were covered in cat vomit, and how the family heirloom Oriental rug in the basement of their previous home had been used as a toilet by their cats for YEARS. They only realized this was an issue when nobody wanted to buy their house and it was pointed out to them that there was an overwhelming stench of animal waste and death in the air. Cecily's take on this: LOL!

So it's not shocking that these two haven't passed any personal hygiene knowledge to poor Tori. Here's a typical shot of how filthy they let her get:

Mother of the year. Again.

 

[drain]

Tori "came out" to Cicely at a Pride Parade

I bet that if the kid didn't came out, mommy dearest would make her came.

That sounded strange, my bad.

 

[exceptionalgoogle]

Cecily loves to lie about what "great shape" she was in before she was pregnant. In this piece, she waxes lyrical about the twins she killed and tries to rewrite history. She claims nobody told her about preeclampsia. All of this contradicts what she wrote on the infertility blog she tried to erase from the internet (and failed to do so). She also adds the savory detail that she (supposedly) had edema so bad that her legs would actually leak fluid for hours after acupuncture sessions, such that she had to plug the leaks with bits of paper towel. #thathappened

 

[The Dude]

Cecily loves to lie about what "great shape" she was in before she was pregnant. In this piece, she waxes lyrical about the twins she killed and tries to rewrite history. She claims nobody told her about preeclampsia. All of this contradicts what she wrote on the infertility blog she tried to erase from the internet (and failed to do so). She also adds the savory detail that she (supposedly) had edema so bad that her legs would actually leak fluid for hours after acupuncture sessions, such that she had to plug the leaks with bits of paper towel. #thathappened

Pedal Edema (the retention and sometimes seepage of fluids in the lower extremities) is a serious symptom of obesity and heart disease. When I was training to get my EMT license I had to work a shift in an emergency room for experience and we had a patient with Pedal Edema and it was seeping out his pores. They had to put him on intravenous blood thinners because he was close to having a major heart attack.

 

[exceptionalgoogle]

Pedal Edema (the retention and sometimes seepage of fluids in the lower extremities) is a serious symptom of obesity and heart disease. When I was training to get my EMT license I had to work a shift in an emergency room for experience and we had a patient with Pedal Edema and it was seeping out his pores. They had to put him on intravenous blood thinners because he was close to having a major heart attack.

Sounds impossible to me--Cecily had always been in "incredible shape" while being simultaneously morbidly obese!

Here's what gets me. I'm baffled that any midwife accepted her as a patient, considering how overweight she was, her high blood pressure, and the fact she was carrying twins. They did eventually tell her she'd need to have a medical delivery, and so they wouldn't treat her any further. Yet she has the fucking gall to claim nobody ever warned her about preeclampsia. Bitch, even if that were true, WHY DIDN'T YOU DO YOUR OWN FUCKING RESEARCH INTO BASIC PREGNANCY COMPLICATIONS?!

I hate her. She killed her twins and trots them out every election cycle, plus whenever she misses a deadline or steals money or "forgets" to pay someone back, for sympathy. Worse, she has built her entire flop of an attempt at fame and fortune on their dead backs. Cecily is a fucking awful person and a quick death from cardiac arrest is way too good for her.

 

[Ruin]

So she killed two people. Does this make Cecily the lolcow with the highest body count?

 

[exceptionalgoogle]

So she killed two people. Does this make Cecily the lolcow with the highest body count?

I don't apply them to her body count, but her evangelism of the Philly Free School has also contributed to many lives ruined that probably had some potential. And this little girl at the PFS probably lost a finger by sticking her hand in this fan while some adult took pictures.

She's a shit-for-brains who cannot stand for anyone to do better in life than she has, to the extent that she has sacrificed her own daughter's future in order to prevent her making anything of herself. It has to really be nonstop misery to be Cecily Kellogg, and she deserves nothing more.

 

[The I Scream Man]

I don't apply them to her body count, but her evangelism of the Philly Free School has also contributed to many lives ruined that probably had some potential. And this little girl at the PFS probably lost a finger by sticking her hand in this fan while some adult took pictures.

She's a shit-for-brains who cannot stand for anyone to do better in life than she has, to the extent that she has sacrificed her own daughter's future in order to prevent her making anything of herself. It has to really be nonstop misery to be Cecily Kellogg, and she deserves nothing more.

Any other thread about anyone else I'd be like, man you're too invested in hating this person, but holy shit she deserves it

 

[Kikomi]

Any other thread about anyone else I'd be like, man you're too invested in hating this person, but holy shit she deserves it

she deserves more than just being hated. there isn't a single redeeming quality about her. she is basically what would happen if a slug, pig, and vulture fused together. i'm glad her nasty punchable face is a proper representation of her nasty punchable personality.

 

[Dog Prom 3D]

Cecily's defiance toward the medical profession is really funny to me. She has sold herself completely on the notion that she is a strong, intelligent woman whose personality intimidates medical professionals so they get everything wrong because they are cowering in the face of her amazingness or trying to take her down a peg or two for not listening to them.

She blatantly defied her ob-gyn after being told she was a preeclampsia risk with the twins via the oft-repeated tator tots story. What is less discussed is how this doctor, after saving her life with the abortion, more or less begged her to lose weight before attempting more fertility treatments. Cecily of course ignored the advice, stayed fat as fuck, got pregnant again with Tori and the same doctor had to save her life a second time when she had yet another blood pressure emergency. This time the baby was old enough to survive but Tori was several weeks early because Cecily always knows more than doctors.

I remember a doctor being appalled that Cecily drank a half-gallon of fruit juice each day and told her to knock it off or she would be diabetic before the sun went down. She slowly stopped but then began her energy drink addiction. She remarked on how dumb that doctor was because "everyone knows juice is good for you"'and even her friends were appalled that she didn't understand that consuming 170 grams of sugar each day in just one beverage choice was a bad idea.

And then there were all the doctors who told her she was a self-medicating bi-polar but she really does think they were so intimidated by this self-actualized womyn that they just threw labels at her.

@entropyseekswork and @exceptionalgoogle, I am hosed for the next few days but when my dust clears I want to go through my bookmarks and assemble the master list of The Many Jobs Cecily Kellogg Fucked Up. The adult novelty and video store. The account with Diva cups. Her job at the book store. Stealing from the vets offices she worked at. Babble. Life coaching. Citibank. Fandango. Uninvited to conferences. Giving up blogging. On and on.

 

[Splendid]

So she killed two people. Does this make Cecily the lolcow with the highest body count?

Legally, she has killed no one.

 

[glass_houses]

Legally, she has killed no one.

True. I'm a huge supporter of legal abortion because of the horrific and well documented consequences of illegal abortion, but the way she effectively gave herself a termination seriously pisses me off. She goes through years of painful, expensive IVF, is finally impregnated with twins, and then whines about the sex of the foetuses not being what she wants. And then had the sheer fucking hide to say, "fuck you" to the doctors who gave her the children that she (allegedly) desperately wanted, and then go ahead with her 'body positivity' shit. To no one's surprise (except hers) both of the foetuses die. And then she said something something empowerment something something didn't want them anyway.

Why go through fucking IVF and then decide that she didn't want the children anyway? And she wasn't even the one who had to pay for the fucking treatments!