Recess: Next Bell Pitch Bible Leaked - A continuation series for the 1997 Disney cartoon Recess has leaked online, and it's gay as fuck.

[Morrowind: GOTY Edition]

This started floating around yesterday, and as if a gift from God himself, just in time for Pride month, it's possibly the single gayest thing you could ever imagine. With the assumption that you're familiar with the original show, I've summarized the pitch:

• Stars a new cast of 5
• Leader of the group is Ruby, the daughter of Spinelli and Vince from the original series, and is basically perfect in every way
• Her friends are Montijo, the class clown, Parnelli, the daredevil skater, Simone, the drama queen, and Everett, the generic cartoon black nerd
• The show is split between the new cast for A plots, and the old cast for one continuous B plot that would run through the season involving them taking over the school and having to run it themselves
• Spinelli is a bisexual art student turned punk rock singer turned cop turned lawyer
• Vince couldn't make it in the NBA, so he played in Italy instead before returning home and marrying Spinelli
• TJ was rejected by Spinelli and became a shut-in loser after earning millions of dollars, and perpetually lives his life as a manchild
• Gretchen is now a super scientist supermodel with a secret lab
• Gus trooned out and is now Lieutenant-Colonel Nikki Griswold
• Mikey became a guru at a temple and fucking died
• Randall is the school principal
• Finster is retired
• Prickley is dead
• The Ashleys are replaced with a new group, that features nonbinary kids
• One episode of the pitch has the new kids build a ramp for a girl in a wheelchair to reach the top of the jungle gym, except it doesn't matter in the end because she is super smart and installed rockets on her wheelchair
• Another episode has Ruby realize she has a crush on a girl, so she consults her mom, Spinelli, who proceeds to tell her about her lesbian experiences

Reactions to this have been surprisingly overwhelmingly negative, even from the most pozzed of communities. I encourage you to read it if you have some time, it's honestly hilarious how obviously pandering it is.

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[Cherry Eyed Hamster]

So let's see: Spinelli and Vincente's daughter is the sassy activist self-insert, Spinelli herself is bi, the white male is a depressed millionaire, the second white guy is dead, and nerdy Gus has been turned into a tranny.

Not to mention how the new Recess kids sound and look less like fourth grades and more like infantilized adults.

Fuck. Me.

 

[Cats]

The sad thing is you could predict nearly all of this mere moments after reading the thread title. Just imagine the most putrid woke nonsense possible, and boom - here it is.

 

[Still Exceptional]

Jesus Christ, it reads like some deranged Tumblrite's fanfiction.

 

[ShamefurDispray]

I read about this a couple days ago. One of the biggest things that stuck with me was I never wanted or needed to see the kids grow up.
The one silver lining is Disney doesn't have a lot of money floating around, let's hope this abortion never sees the light of day.

 

[The Cheese Aisle]

>target audience is fans of old show, parents and kids
>assassinate former main characters, include unnecessary sexual content

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Incel to troon pipeline getting media representation.

 

[The Cunting Death]

I'm more terrified by the fact Spinelli became a Coal Burner.

 

[Grandmas Secret]

WHy only one tranny? They should be 25% of the cast. I don't even mind them destroying a cartoon I liked as a kid. Break it apart, tear it to shreds.

I'm more annoyed that it's claiming the idea of a hybrid episodic/serialized show is somehow new.

I want them to move forward and make it, I love a good train wreck. I look forward to seeing GIGABYTE, the crippled tough ultrasmart wheelchair girl, rolling around and doing nerd shit.

THe non-binary mean girls thing is a nice unintentional dig at non-binary weirdos.

 

[Exfurminatus Now]

I'm so fucking glad I grew up in the 90s/00's. Kids today are facing some really fucked up psychological warfare.

 

[NOXIN]

The black guy is the most athletic, most charming, smartest guy in the group. It's like they've never met a black person in their life. Not even whites or Asians are depicted like this in fiction or in real life.

But I have to commend them on the accuracy of a military man turning out to be a troon. The only thing more accurate would have been if he was also a furry.

 

[Thumb Butler]

"Gus trooned out and is now Lieutenant-Colonel Nikki Griswold".

But of course!

 

[Neil]

I hope to GOD this never gets picked up for a full series. Disney already ruined Proud Family by bringing it back and stripping it of any 2000s charm in favor of trying to win brownie points with Black Twitter (Black Twitter hated the show with a passion), rebooting Recess like this would be a fucking catastrophe.

I really hate this stupid trend of having white male childhood protags become bad, selfish manchildren who never grow out of bad habits and end up destroying their lives. It's such a stupid fucking trope, I hate subversion.

And of course, any girl who has a tomboyish side MUST be a hardcore radfem lesbian, no exceptions. Great writing. And of course they spit in the face of the romance TJ and Spinelli had in the original series and an extra middle finger to the people who grew up with the show (AREN'T YOUR EXPECTATIONS SUBVERTED???!!!)
Of course TJ is the one who gets his heart broken here, not Spinelli.
>Gretchen becomes a heckin adorkable Velma Dinkley supergenius and it's hinted that Spinelli and Gretchen has a lesbian relationship at some point in the story

again, typical reboot trope, very bold and exciting

>Gus becomes a tranny who becomes the face of the United States Armed Forces

I don't get how none of these people realize how stupid and laughable these concepts are. Someone wrote this with 100% sincerity and got paid to do so.

 

[Battlefield2142EU]

Gus becomes a tranny who becomes the face of the United States Armed Forces

In universe Gus becomes the face of why the US military lost to the Taliban.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

Recess: Next Bell Pitch Bible Leaked - Leaked pitch bible

What the fuck do these words mean?

 

[Marche]

This seems incredibly jewish

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

Mikey became a guru at a temple and fucking died

how in the acutal fuck?

• Finster is retired
• Prickley is dead

Finster looks and probably is older than Prickly, how does Finster pull a DSP here?

 

[Coelacanth]

Fuck this. Fuck this hard. I don't usually get this autistically pissed at a reboot but Recess holds a special place in my heart because my mom loves the film and we still watch it on the odd occasion. It's M*A*S*H for kids and should never get a sequel or reboot. I hope to all that is holy this never gets greenlit. Nobody wants it and nobody needs it.

 

[Grandmas Secret]

Fuck this. Fuck this hard. I don't usually get this autistically pissed at a reboot but Recess holds a special place in my heart because my mom loves the film and we still watch it on the odd occasion. It's M*A*S*H for kids and should never get a sequel or reboot. I hope to all that is holy this never gets greenlit. Nobody wants it and nobody needs it.

Nostalgia is a sin. Let go of the past, let them destroy it. All the happy memories are safe in your head where they can't scan them. They'll troon up and mutilate everything you ever loved, but the originals are still there.

 

[Cherry Eyed Hamster]

I hope to GOD this never gets picked up for a full series. Disney already ruined Proud Family by bringing it back and stripping it of any 2000s charm in favor of trying to win brownie points with Black Twitter (Black Twitter hated the show with a passion)

Damn, Disney has taken two “L’s” for shows they created to pander to a minority group, only for the majority of that minority group to hate the product. Is Primos! even getting made after the backlash it got?